Beyond the Unknown
by H. M. A ChocoC
Summary: Unprecedented circumstances lead Lanette down a novel fate. Finding herself in a world overrun by peril and teetering on the brink of devastation, she tries to find her way home for her own salvation. But as unexpected circumstances arise, she is forced to rethink her priorities and choices, while learning, along the arduous way, what it truly means to live and love. OC.
1. Preview

**_Author's Note:_** **I don't own LOTR. All of the characters except for the few Oc's belong to the great Mastermind that was Tolkien.**

Yes, yes it is also a Girl-falls-into Middle Earth story. I have read countless of those and admired some well-written ones a lot. I wanted to write one myself, something in which the Girl first has to get adjusted to her surroundings and THEN meet the main cast. I hope you don't find it a Mary-sue because God knows how much I hate them.

It is my first ever attempt at writing so..

 **English isn't my first language so if you find mistakes feel free to tell me.**

 ** _I hope you enjoy!_**

* * *

 **Preview Chapter: Dread.**

Do you know that kind of feeling when you go to bed dreading the next day? Feeling that something disastrous is about to happen but you cannot exactly pinpoint what?

I went to bed that day fighting a surge of nausea. A feeling developed from not being able to pinpoint what my heart was referring to. What disaster was about to strike home?

It had been a long, tiring day at work. I had encountered a rather arrogant family whose son was under my care. The operation was a difficult one but with those people pestering me with the threats of their supposed influence, it had been even more antagonising.

'The nerve!' I thought vexed while flopping ungraciously onto my bed. I sighed slightly, running my hands through my now loose hair.

I loved my work as a Surgeon, there was just something about saving a life and looking into the grateful and sometimes even admiring expressions that made it all worth it. The work was tiring, yes, but nothing I couldn't deal with. It was just patients like today's one that made it mentally exhausting.

The day had been even more draining as I had this mind-numbing throb in my head since I woke up.

'I have to change my clothes...' I thought dully. I felt too exhausted. In a haze, I tried to lift myself up but it seemed as though I was losing the strength in my limbs. 'Had I eaten something bad?' was the first thought that filtered across my mind. I knew for a fact that it wasn't a cold neither a flu. I tried to move my hand to check whether I building up a fever. With the little seam of consciousness I realised that I couldn't move my fingers. My heartbeat quickened and my mind became clouded. In that span of a moment, I got some pretty ideas. Maybe... maybe someone drugged me without me knowing!

Whatever it was, I wasn't awake long enough to figure it out...

* * *

 _ **To be Continued...**_


	2. (PART-I) Chapter 1: Just a dream

**_Author's note: I own nothing in the LOTR universe._**

 ** _Faye50free:_** _Thank you :) I hope you enjoy this chapter as well!_

This is the first real chapter, in my first real attempt at writing something. I hope you enjoy! RR.

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Just a Dream.**

'It's too bright', was the first thought that crossed my mind as I woke up bleary-eyed, the pounding headache leaving my consciousness dizzy. It took me a moment to fathom that this hard, irritable ground couldn't be the bed I slept in. Suddenly it all became clear- the slight dampness of what can only be grass seeping through my shirt, the hard ground, the blinding brightness of the sun, the birds chirping-

My eyes snapped open and I cursed as a wave of pain hit my head and when I opened my eyes to look around, my heart sank in dread. I took in my surroundings, heart beating wildly in my chest and my breath was reduced to short gasps. 'It can't be, What is this?' My thoughts were unclear as I stumbled unsteadily to my feet. It seemed as though I was in the middle of a wilderness. As far as I could see there were only plains covering the horizon on the right and the looming trees of the dark forest on the left. No road, no sign of a town, a village. No signs of civilization at all.

"It must be a very sick joke," I said out loud, my voice sounding high pitched even to my own ears. I looked around me and felt a flicker of hope as I felt the bag clutched in my hands, just as I had it when I had flopped onto my bed. Frantically reaching into it I took out the phone and faltered when it gave no signals.

'Whoever did this was getting into quite a lot of trouble when I get home' I thought half angered and half panicked while looking at the isolation of the wilderness I was currently in. The sun beat down on the ground, it's brightness although blinding was not scorching and looking at its position, it was way past the dawn.

"Deep breaths.", I said out loud, trying to calm my nerves, suddenly feeling a surge of hopelessness pass through me. "Sitting still won't help matters," I muttered looking over to the dirt track beside the forest. There was no way I was going inside that forest with no signals and had no choice but to reassess my situation. I was in the middle of God-knows-where, without anything except for my purse and in my work clothes. I looked down at my white shirt, a grey dress jacket and matching pants. Even my shoes had a few inches heel, not a great attire for trekking your way home.

My growling stomach reminded me that I haven't eaten anything since lunch yesterday. Sighing irritably I picked up my purse. The only useful contents were a few peppermints and a water bottle. I plopped one peppermint into my mouth and stood. "There's no good in staying here," I grumbled, standing on the track and looking at the path stretched across the horizon. Sighing, I started walking causelessly towards the right. 'When in doubt do the right thing' I thought dryly, smirking at my own poor pun.

Someone's got to pay for this all.

* * *

I walked for hours without success, looking repetitively at my phone for a tiny bit of signal but to no avail. I had already tried calling about fifty people on my contact list, tried sending messages to numerous more hoping that they would go through at a moment when the signal appears but to my increasing frustration, such was not the case. There was not even slightest signal in this forsaken area. My heels had started bothering not even an hour into my walk but they seemed a better idea than to walk barefoot on this dirt track. I could feel the blisters forming on my feet, that screamed in protest to every step I took.

I walked until the sun started setting. Feeling tired, achy in several areas, hungry, angry and most importantly lost. _I was lost._ Before I knew it hot angry tears welled up in my eyes and I thumped onto the ground. There was no use in being strong. It was already getting dark and I was getting nowhere. If it was some kind of joke then it was a very sick one. I let the tears flow.

It felt unfair, the fact that I was stranded with little to no help and without even a bite of food to help me survive. There were fears swirling in the pit of my stomach, a few very disturbing thoughts of what might happen in this dark, lone track with no one to help me, and it was amidst the fears and the pounding headache that I closed my wet eyes, hoping again hope that this was some sort of deranged and vivid nightmare.

The last thing I remembered was a frightening screech of an owl, from deep within the forest before fading into a fitful sleep

* * *

 ** _To be continued..._**


	3. (PART-I) Chapter 2: The Medieval Town

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR.**

 **Author's Note:** First of all, Thank you to all of you who followed or favourited the fanfic. You guys are truly awesome.

 **Narylfiel:** Thank you! I'm glad that you're finding my story good enough for you to read and review. I'll look forward to hearing from you :) Hope you enjoy this chapter!

English isn't my first language, so if you find any mistake please feel free to tell me.

 _ **Hope you enjoy the chapter!. RR.**_

* * *

 **Ch 3: Apprehension.**

'The inn is so peaceful today' l mused as I sat down on a stool near the counter. The inn looked quite different than it had when I entered it two nights ago. The wooden tables were clean, the chairs in order, and some windows open to let in air and sunlight. Only a few men wearing travelling cloaks and leather boots, purely medieval style, were scattered about.

The lady, whose name I learned with no small difficulty, was busy setting up a small breakfast for me.

'Raforta' I had thought her name to be quite peculiar but soon noticed that almost all of the names were in medieval or Anglo-Saxon fashion.

Looking at Raforta, who was currently flipping the toast, my mind wandered down another line of thought. Two nights ago I had been dragged into this pub, four days had already passed since I woke up in this place. Gradually I was getting more and more worried. For the last two days, I've made a point to stay in the commonplace of the inn whenever it was possible to look for any sign of technology or modern device in the hands of the many travellers that chose this inn for their stays but it was all in vain. I had even shown Raforta my mobile phone but she had been so genuinely surprised and curious that I gave up any hopes of finding someone who recognised technology here.

Butterbur, the inn's owner and his little crew of Raforta, Bob and Nob had been nothing but patient with me even though I did not understand a word of what they say. 'Not like they understand me either' I sighed. It had taken me hours to just know their names and tell Raforta mine.

"Lanette." I heard her calling my name. My attention snapped back to her as she set a simple breakfast of toast and jam before me. I smiled at her and nodded in thanks. My knowledge of their language only extended to the name of the language.

Yesterday, in her free time, Raforta had taken it upon herself to teach me their language. It was a total disaster. She didn't understand English and I couldn't understand her which made communication almost impossible. Raforta had gestured to a script and repeated the word Westron for ten minutes before I realised that she was telling me the name of her language.

I had almost finished my breakfast when Butterbur entered the inn. Seeing him made me nervous. It was no lie that he had been nothing but kind, but I wasn't exactly sure if he knew that I had no money to pay him. I could tell him by a few gestures but a small part of me was nervous that he'd kick me out. In the last few days, after seeing so many different sorts of travellers somewhere in my heart I was already sure that I wasn't in America anymore. This thought alone caused me enough turmoil. I had no clue about what to do if I was thrown out to fend for myself...

'If my phone's battery was alive I could've known my location by GPS or even Google Maps for that matter!' I brooded.

I finished the last of my toast and got up. "Maps!", I exclaimed, my mind racing. Maybe if I can get Raforta to show me a map I'll know where I am. 'Why hadn't I thought of this before? What the!'. A surge of hope filled me.

I looked around to see if Raforta had not already left for the market. To my luck, I saw her stacking a few dishes in the storage room.

I got up hurriedly and moved to the back of the counter where Butterbur kept his small supply of papers and bills. I had seen Raforta taking out a few, yesterday when she was preparing to teach me. I took out a paper and a pen. On an impulse, I drew the map of Europe. If I was right and somehow I wasn't in America anymore and was somehow in medieval times, I had no chance of her recognising the map of America much less the whole world.

I finished just as she came out of the room equipped with a basket to do her shopping. "Raforta", I called her name urgently as I came to stand before her. Shoving the paper in her startled hands, I gestured to the map, willing and hoping her to understand it. She squinted at the map for a long moment. I could literally see the realisation dawning on her face. I wasn't sure why but she looked at me with something akin to wonder. It was a lot later when I learned that literacy was a luxury here, and reading something like maps were considered the epitome of it. Only Kings, generals, stewards, nobility and people with titles to uphold usually bothered to learn them. She nodded once more, still surprised. Maybe the fact that someone who didn't even understand a word of the language could read and even draw a map left her staggered. She led me to her room and took out a small folded piece of parchment from her stack of a few books. She handed it to me.

I looked closely at the paper, something stopping me from opening the parchment immediately. My fingers hovered over it. 'I am afraid of what I'll see.' I realised with a start. Nothing till today had wronged the messed up possibility that I might not be anywhere I knew anymore. I gulped. Looking up I saw Raforta's expectant gaze on me. Smiling weakly at her I gestured slightly towards the door. Backing away, I turned around abruptly and escaped from her room. I went towards my room as fast as I possibly could without actually running and closed the door behind me. 'Quite a brave person I am' I thought wryly. I was so scared of the reality myself that I wasn't sure how I'll react. There was no use in causing Raforta worry. 'As if my hasty escape wasn't worrying...' What I fool I was.

I sat on the bed and stared at the parchment. Should I...In a moment of impulse, I opened the folds. What I saw made me freeze on the spot. I stared at the map for a very long time, taking in every detail, looking desperately for any place that was familiar. Nothing. I felt light-headed, my heart thumping wildly. I squeezed my eyes shut, realization dawning on me like a ton of hard bricks. 'I wasn't on Earth anymore' My mind screamed. There was no use in thinking this to be set up. In the past two days, I've observed enough to tell that these people were being genuine in their life. All the air seemed to be swished out of my body.

I fell back on the bed, wholly scared. It was a fearful concept, being stuck somewhere I had no means of communication, no know how about life here, no clue about medieval survival...

'Raforta will be worrying...' Somewhere in mind, I thought dully. I didn't particularly care at that moment. I had a lot to take in and I wasn't going to worry her more with my dark mood.

I stared at the ceiling for a long time, long enough that the morning hues changed into the bright blaze of the sun and then again to the purple hues of the setting sun. For that long I kept reminiscing my past memories, the small things that I never even noticed and yet played an integral role in the whole structure of my life. The way I had already bought my apartment and yet whenever I could I went back to my parent's home, the way my mother's cooking always left me wanting more, the way my father would start talking so passionately about football whenever we had a family dinner, their little banter, the way we always trekked in summer at my sister's insistence complaining the whole way and yet loving every moment of it, the way... My thoughts were endless. I didn't even know when the tears started flowing. All I knew was the fact that my tears soaked the stiff sheets of the bed.

It took me hours to calm down enough to think straight. It wasn't like I could spend my whole life mourning. I felt like if, at that moment I didn't do something I'll regret it even more. I needed a game plan. I needed the will that had got me to not quit my job when I had lost a patient in the emergency, helped me not to panic when the patients got to the emergency room too late, helped me through each and every operation. I had to overcome this too. I had to buck up and think straight, no matter how hopeless it seems right now.

The dark of the night had already spread when I tried to reassess my situation. If I strained enough I could hear the hoot of the owls through the closed windows.

"If Butterbur is truly being kind and letting me stay without money" I murmured, more to fill up the dark silence inside the room than anything else. "then he'd expect me to leave in a few days. There's a limit to how much I can leech off of him".

I sighed and closed my eyes. Nothing was coming to mind. I was sure that if Raforta came here now she'll have a heart attack at the image I was posing. I had forgotten to light the candles so the room was considerably dark. Only a faint glow was coming from the lanterns on the street. My brown orbs were red and puffy. My hair tangled in the form of a knot at the back of my head, my dress wrinkled in all the various ways.

I inhaled sharply, my grumbling stomach reminding me that I had eaten nothing since breakfast. 'If only I could support myself' I thought wryly.

I had nearly fallen asleep in my exhaustion when a thought came unbidden to me. I sat up suddenly. 'If only I could support myself'. 'Maybe, just maybe I can get Butterbur to give a job at the inn!'. This prospect, if it works, was advantageous to me. The only people I knew here were Butterbur and Raforta, Bob and Nob to a small extent. If I could get a job here then I can live here until I decide what to do further.

Getting up from the bed, I made my way to the small table. I washed my face with the water present in a bowl. Tying my hair neatly, I exited my room.

'The inn isn't that rowdy today' I noticed as I climbed down the only flight of stairs. Yes, there were a lot of people scattered about but Butterbur, standing at the counter, was looking quite peaceful as he cleaned a few mugs and placed them on the shelf.

I walked over to him with determination. "Butterbur", I called out his name to get his attention as I reached at the counter. I came to a stop in front of him. His eyebrows raised at my expectant expression. I looked around and saw Raforta serving a few customers. Gesturing at her work and then at myself I looked at him. He squinted at me as if to see if I had after all gone mad. I sighed and took the mug out of his hands. I poured an imaginary drink and pretended to serve it. He didn't look like he understood me. His eyes gave away his amusement at my antics. I huffed slightly. 'How was I supposed to tell him what I wanted?'. I looked at the counter and saw a few coins, which I knew as the money they used for their exchange, lying there. I gestured to the coins and shook my head while pointing to myself.

It wasn't until he let out a loud guffaw that I realised how pathetic I must've looked. Stealing a glance around the pub, I realised, with no little embarrassment, the amused stares of the customers. I could feel the blood rushing to my face.

Butterbur turned his back to me and started filling the mugs. My heart sank. 'I hadn't embarrassed myself this much to just-' My angry line of thought was cut off abruptly as he shoved a tray full of largely filled mugs in my hands. He then gestured to the in and nodded, smiling half amusedly and half kindly. Realisation dawned on me. 'I just scored a job!'. I could feel the toothy smile on my face. I nodded and went to serve the customers, the smile never leaving my face.

'Even with my language barrier, I won't disappoint him!' I thought firmly. ' After all, I didn't exactly deserve their kindness'.

Soon I was too busy serving to even formulate any thought. The crowd thickened as the night wore on. 'Maybe it won't be so bad' I contemplated trying to lift up my spirits as I smiled at the people sitting on the table ready to be served.

* * *

 _ **To be continued...**_


	4. (PART-I) Chapter 3: Apprehension

_**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR.**_

 **Author's Note:** First of all, Thank you to all of you who followed or favourited the fanfic. You guys are truly awesome.

 ** _Narylfiel:_** _Thank you! I'm glad that you're finding my story good enough for you to read and review. I'll look forward to hearing from you :) Hope you enjoy this chapter!_

English isn't my first language, so if you find any mistake please feel free to tell me.

 ** _Hope you enjoy the chapter!. R &R._**

* * *

 **Ch 3: Apprehension.**

'The inn is so peaceful today' l mused as I sat down on a stool near the counter. The inn looked quite different than it had when I entered it two nights ago. The wooden tables were clean, the chairs in order, and some windows open to let in air and sunlight. Only a few men wearing travelling cloaks and leather boots, purely medieval style, were scattered about.

The lady, whose name I learned with no small difficulty, was busy setting up a small breakfast for me.

'Raforta' I had thought her name to be quite peculiar but soon noticed that almost all of the names were in medieval or Anglo-Saxon fashion.

Looking at Raforta, who was currently flipping the toast, my mind wandered down another line of thought. Two nights ago I had been dragged into this pub, four days had already passed since I woke up in this place. Gradually I was getting more and more worried. For the last two days, I've made a point to stay in the commonplace of the inn whenever it was possible to look for any sign of technology or modern device in the hands of the many travellers that chose this inn for their stays but it was all in vain. I had even shown Raforta my mobile phone but she had been so genuinely surprised and curious that I gave up any hopes of finding someone who recognised technology here.

Butterbur, the inn's owner and his little crew of Raforta, Bob and Nob had been nothing but patient with me even though I did not understand a word of what they say. 'Not like they understand me either' I sighed. It had taken me hours to just know their names and tell Raforta mine.

"Lanette." I heard her calling my name. My attention snapped back to her as she set a simple breakfast of toast and jam before me. I smiled at her and nodded in thanks. My knowledge of their language only extended to the name of the language.

Yesterday, in her free time, Raforta had taken it upon herself to teach me their language. It was a total disaster. She didn't understand English and I couldn't understand her which made communication almost impossible. Raforta had gestured to a script and repeated the word Westron for ten minutes before I realised that she was telling me the name of her language.

I had almost finished my breakfast when Butterbur entered the inn. Seeing him made me nervous. It was no lie that he had been nothing but kind, but I wasn't exactly sure if he knew that I had no money to pay him. I could tell him by a few gestures but a small part of me was nervous that he'd kick me out. In the last few days, after seeing so many different sorts of travellers somewhere in my heart I was already sure that I wasn't in America anymore. This thought alone caused me enough turmoil. I had no clue about what to do if I was thrown out to fend for myself...

'If my phone's battery was alive I could've known my location by GPS or even Google Maps for that matter!' I brooded.

I finished the last of my toast and got up. "Maps!", I exclaimed, my mind racing. Maybe if I can get Raforta to show me a map I'll know where I am. 'Why hadn't I thought of this before? What the!'. A surge of hope filled me.

I looked around to see if Raforta had not already left for the market. To my luck, I saw her stacking a few dishes in the storage room.

I got up hurriedly and moved to the back of the counter where Butterbur kept his small supply of papers and bills. I had seen Raforta taking out a few, yesterday when she was preparing to teach me. I took out a paper and a pen. On an impulse, I drew the map of Europe. If I was right and somehow I wasn't in America anymore and was somehow in medieval times, I had no chance of her recognising the map of America much less the whole world.

I finished just as she came out of the room equipped with a basket to do her shopping. "Raforta", I called her name urgently as I came to stand before her. Shoving the paper in her startled hands, I gestured to the map, willing and hoping her to understand it. She squinted at the map for a long moment. I could literally see the realisation dawning on her face. I wasn't sure why but she looked at me with something akin to wonder. It was a lot later when I learned that literacy was a luxury here, and reading something like maps were considered the epitome of it. Only Kings, generals, stewards, nobility and people with titles to uphold usually bothered to learn them. She nodded once more, still surprised. Maybe the fact that someone who didn't even understand a word of the language could read and even draw a map left her staggered. She led me to her room and took out a small folded piece of parchment from her stack of a few books. She handed it to me.

I looked closely at the paper, something stopping me from opening the parchment immediately. My fingers hovered over it. 'I am afraid of what I'll see.' I realised with a start. Nothing till today had wronged the messed up possibility that I might not be anywhere I knew anymore. I gulped. Looking up I saw Raforta's expectant gaze on me. Smiling weakly at her I gestured slightly towards the door. Backing away, I turned around abruptly and escaped from her room. I went towards my room as fast as I possibly could without actually running and closed the door behind me. 'Quite a brave person I am' I thought wryly. I was so scared of the reality myself that I wasn't sure how I'll react. There was no use in causing Raforta worry. 'As if my hasty escape wasn't worrying...' What I fool I was.

I sat on the bed and stared at the parchment. Should I...In a moment of impulse, I opened the folds. What I saw made me freeze on the spot. I stared at the map for a very long time, taking in every detail, looking desperately for any place that was familiar. Nothing. I felt light-headed, my heart thumping wildly. I squeezed my eyes shut, realization dawning on me like a ton of hard bricks. 'I wasn't on Earth anymore' My mind screamed. There was no use in thinking this to be set up. In the past two days, I've observed enough to tell that these people were being genuine in their life. All the air seemed to be swished out of my body.

I fell back on the bed, wholly scared. It was a fearful concept, being stuck somewhere I had no means of communication, no know how about life here, no clue about medieval survival...

'Raforta will be worrying...' Somewhere in mind, I thought dully. I didn't particularly care at that moment. I had a lot to take in and I wasn't going to worry her more with my dark mood.

* * *

I stared at the ceiling for a long time, long enough that the morning hues changed into the bright blaze of the sun and then again to the purple hues of the setting sun. For that long I kept reminiscing my past memories, the small things that I never even noticed and yet played an integral role in the whole structure of my life. The way I had already bought my apartment and yet whenever I could I went back to my parent's home, the way my mother's cooking always left me wanting more, the way my father would start talking so passionately about football whenever we had a family dinner, their little banter, the way we always trekked in summer at my sister's insistence complaining the whole way and yet loving every moment of it, the way... My thoughts were endless. I didn't even know when the tears started flowing. All I knew was the fact that my tears soaked the stiff sheets of the bed.

* * *

It took me hours to calm down enough to think straight. It wasn't like I could spend my whole life mourning. I felt like if, at that moment I didn't do something I'll regret it even more. I needed a game plan. I needed the will that had got me to not quit my job when I had lost a patient in the emergency, helped me not to panic when the patients got to the emergency room too late, helped me through each and every operation. I had to overcome this too. I had to buck up and think straight, no matter how hopeless it seems right now.

The dark of the night had already spread when I tried to reassess my situation. If I strained enough I could hear the hoot of the owls through the closed windows.

"If Butterbur is truly being kind and letting me stay without money" I murmured, more to fill up the dark silence inside the room than anything else. "then he'd expect me to leave in a few days. There's a limit to how much I can leech off of him".

I sighed and closed my eyes. Nothing was coming to mind. I was sure that if Raforta came here now she'll have a heart attack at the image I was posing. I had forgotten to light the candles so the room was considerably dark. Only a faint glow was coming from the lanterns on the street. My brown orbs were red and puffy. My hair tangled in the form of a knot at the back of my head, my dress wrinkled in all the various ways.

I inhaled sharply, my grumbling stomach reminding me that I had eaten nothing since breakfast. 'If only I could support myself' I thought wryly.

I had nearly fallen asleep in my exhaustion when a thought came unbidden to me. I sat up suddenly. 'If only I could support myself'. 'Maybe, just maybe I can get Butterbur to give a job at the inn!'. This prospect, if it works, was advantageous to me. The only people I knew here were Butterbur and Raforta, Bob and Nob to a small extent. If I could get a job here then I can live here until I decide what to do further.

Getting up from the bed, I made my way to the small table. I washed my face with the water present in a bowl. Tying my hair neatly, I exited my room.

'The inn isn't that rowdy today' I noticed as I climbed down the only flight of stairs. Yes, there were a lot of people scattered about but Butterbur, standing at the counter, was looking quite peaceful as he cleaned a few mugs and placed them on the shelf.

I walked over to him with determination. "Butterbur", I called out his name to get his attention as I reached the at the counter. I came to a stop in front of him. His eyebrows raised at my expectant expression. I looked around and saw Raforta serving a few customers. Gesturing at her work and then at myself I looked at him. He squinted at me as if to see if I had after all gone mad. I sighed and took the mug out of his hands. I poured an imaginary drink and pretended to serve it. He didn't look like he understood me. His eyes gave away his amusement at my antics. I huffed slightly. 'How was I supposed to tell him what I wanted?'. I looked at the counter and saw a few coins, which I knew as the money they used for their exchange, lying there. I gestured to the coins and shook my head while pointing to myself.

It wasn't until he let out a loud guffaw that I realised how pathetic I must've looked. Stealing a glance around the pub, I realised, with no little embarrassment, the amused stares of the customers. I could feel the blood rushing to my face.

Butterbur turned his back to me and started filling the mugs. My heart sank. 'I hadn't embarrassed myself this much to just-' My angry line of thought was cut off abruptly as he shoved a tray full of largely filled mugs in my hands. He then gestured to the in and nodded, smiling half amusedly and half kindly. Realisation dawned on me. 'I just scored a job!'. I could feel the toothy smile on my face. I nodded and went to serve the customers, the smile never leaving my face.

'Even with my language barrier, I won't disappoint him!' I thought firmly. ' After all, I didn't exactly deserve their kindness'.

Soon I was too busy serving to even formulate any thought. The crowd thickened as the night wore on. 'Maybe it won't be so bad' I contemplated trying to lift up my spirits as I smiled at the people sitting on the table ready to be served.

* * *

 ** _To be continued..._**


	5. (PART-I) Chapter 4: Future Plans

**_Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR._**

 **Author's note:** Thank you to all the people who are taking their time reading the fic. It's truly appreciated.

 ** _La Femme Absurde:_** _I'm glad that this fic has piqued your curiosity. It is going to be a slow burn, so it might take some time for her to know the main cast. Though for the time being, I hope you enjoy this chapter :)_

 ** _Narylfiel:_** _I'm still in the process of reading the books, so if you see some mistake feel free to tell me. I totally agree with the fact that books are better. They capture details that movies mostly overlook. WOW! It's so amazing that you're trilingual. Thank you! I hope you enjoy this chapter too :)_

 ** _Enjoy the chapter! RR._**

* * *

 **Chapter 4: Adjustment and Future Plans.**

"... I knew that he won't be anything but a scam!", one of the men sitting at the congested table finished his tale and spontaneously caused the rest of the table to burst into loud jeers. Looked like he got more than a few sympathisers and I couldn't help but strain my ears to hear more. It wasn't like I was actually eavesdropping, at his booming voice resounding across the crowd it was as if he seemed to be heard and I felt this to be merely a way for me to improve my vocabulary of Westron, the plus point being that their tales were quite often extremely amusing, no matter how exaggerated and impossible they seemed. I wiped the beads of sweat forming on my forehead and sighed as I put the last plate back into the stack. Wiping my hands clean, I looked around the inn to see if my help was needed anywhere. My gaze met with Raforta who smiled at me slightly and mouthed at me to leave if I was done.

Nodding in return, I raised a hand to show that I understood. Taking a small dinner of stew and bread from the kitchen, I made my way back to my room and collapsed on my bed.

Being a waitress in medieval times was a hard job. With no technology or gadgets, everyone _always_ wanted to socialise. Almost every night the inn was filled with rambunctious laughter and loud yells with the whole of Bree gathering in the few inns in the main road to get the stress of the day's work off their chest, which led to me being most often than not confused, either by their language or their culture, who was to say.

I sat up to eat my dinner, nearly devouring the food. It felt good having food after a long day at work. Not like my work was done, I reminded myself. tired just by looking at the stack of books on the floor at the side of the bed.

It had already been more than four months since I started working at the inn. Initially, I decided to work only for a few days but It gradually turned into weeks and now four months had passed. All the doubts I had about not being in America or the modern world were already removed. For the past months, I've listened to the tales of countless travellers, trying to decide what to do in future. I could just stay here, I knew that. Butterbur and Raforta will be more than glad to let me stay. I had even developed a great friendship with a few people from the town. I was grateful to them for it wasn't easy to be friends with me, at least not for the first few weeks. The society of Bree, the town I was currently residing in, was quite conservative according to my modern standards. I had been so genuinely surprised when I learnt that Bree was one of the few places that were thought to be ostentatious. I guessed that no one in Middle-Earth liked pant wearing, outspoken, confident and independent women. I rolled my eyes at the memory of the horrified gasps I received when I had accidentally decided to wear breeches and shirt one day. The women staring out of the windows and whispering in horrified voices behind their hands. Raforta had been totally scandalised at my attire, demanding from where I had even got these clothes. Not like I was going to reveal my sources. If I was truly planning on travelling then I had to smuggle a few pairs of breeches and shirts in the near future. There was so much long one could wear dresses every day without going mad, and wearing dresses on the road was a big no-no for me.

'Travelling...' I mused. The main reason I had not already started it was because I wanted to learn the language first. It was one of the worst experiences I had ever had. There was one thing learning a new language when you could at least get the English translation of the text. Learning Westron was like learning ABC again at the age of twenty-eight. Not a pleasant experience. The first two weeks had been pure agony. My knowledge of a few words and verbs disabled me even construct the basic sentences properly. Once I had gone through the principles with Raforta, it seemed that Westron was slightly similar to English, especially in accent. I had been trying to listen to as many conversations as I could, reading as many books, children ones at that, I could get my hands on and then learning from Raforta whatever I didn't understand. Trying to learn Westron in every speck of free time I got. I was quite proud of my success until now. I could speak the language well enough to go by because I had four months of practice talking to the people here. All of them also seemed to understand me quite well.

Another reason for not travelling yet was the fact that no one here would even entertain the idea of a woman travelling alone. I had already touched the topic with Butterbur and his eyes had extended to the size of dinner plates. Consequently, I had given a lot of thought to this particular topic and the only solution I could come up with was finding someone who would take me with them on their travel. Especially someone going towards Rohan or Gondor. I heard that those two kingdoms were host to the oldest generations of men, maybe I could find a few clues there. Maybe there was also someone before me stuck in the same circumstances. Even though I was sure that I was not in Modern day California anymore, I needed answers about my situation. Why was I here? What am I supposed to do? How did I even get here? How do I get back?

Maybe I could get a few answers from their libraries, hence my urgency in learning the language as soon as possible. I had already talked Raforta into introducing me to a customer who was knowledgeable about these places and was travelling to somewhere near them if she sees one that is. I had assured her that I only wanted my questions answered. She had agreed but with no little suspicion towards my actions, as if she wasn't sure of what I'll do. 'Not like I was sure of myself either' I thought amusedly.

Living here for four months had not been easy for my modern day self. The hygienic conditions never failed to leave me baffled. The fact that I bathe every day is still a strange concept to half of the Bree. My small lectures, with my limited vocabulary, about 'Cleanliness is next to Godliness' weren't even reflected upon.

Some people here had the tendency to bathe after weeks, going about their work life without caring about how grimy they were. The thought alone caused me to stress about their questionable health. I shivered involuntarily while gathering the empty dishes. Placing them on one side, I contemplated whether I wanted to read something today. Reading texts in Westron was a huge task in itself. In the past I had prided myself on being a fast reader, always enjoying a good book in my free time. But reading something, even if it was just a children's text, was hard with my limited knowledge of the language. It took me hours to complete a fifty-paged fairy book last week.

My already thinned patience stopped me from picking up another book. Laying down on my bed, In absent-mindedness, I reminded myself of reading more tomorrow before I fell into an exhausted sleep.

* * *

I was woken up the next morning by the blazing rays of sun falling directly onto my face. I groaned and turned to rid myself of the brightness. The agonising chirp of the birds and the chatter of Raforta, the reason for the sudden brightness, was enough to shake a deaf man awake from his sleep. I had been waking up early every morning for the past four months but this time wasn't enough to shake away a lifetime of morning grouchiness. I mumbled incoherently. Closing my eyes again to get a teensy bit of sleep, I was startled awake once again as Raforta shook me violently.

"Up! I'm awake", I said rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. Making sure that I wasn't going to fall asleep once again Raforta left to do her own chores. 'Whoever wakes up at the first light of the sun' I groggily thought. Not like it was 'The first light of the sun' as I put it. I was sure that that time had already passed a few hours ago. But for a morning spirit which was me, it was still too early for me to think with the capacity of a working, mature woman. With the speed of a grandpa snail, I slid out of the bed. Squinting slightly I tried to figure out where my shoes were. Once I completed my morning shoe finding ritual, I rubbed at my eyes and proceeded to leave my room. Going to the private bath, which was identical to the bath reserved for customers, I began to undress. The wooden tub was already filled with water. Without a second thought, I stepped into the tub, rubbing and scrubbing at my skin to get clean. Not like I was mucky. At first, I always bathed whenever I got up just to kill time. People weren't as welcoming to me as they were to other travellers. Not like I could blame them, my attire the first day and my tendency to let modern mannerisms slip into my actions had probably creeped them out. What was initially a way to escape from judging eyes and whispering voices, the time I took for myself, had now become more of a morning routine for me? Chewing on a piece of chew stick to clean my teeth, I stepped out of the tub. It took me a while to dry my hair with the towel I was given. At last, when I was done dressing up in the plain brown dress Raforta had made for me, I made my way downwards. There was work to be done.

The inn was scarcely populated this time of the day. Most of the travellers who stayed overnight started on the road at dusk to reach their destinations on time. In the brightness of this pleasant morning, no one wasted themselves on drinking. 'Until now' I thought grimacing. There were a few drunkards who came to the inn in the morning and wasted away till night. It was a pure hassle to serve them and as women, it was more so. Butterbur didn't let me or Raforta serve such customers, usually, Bob or Nob took care of this. A little more than a month ago the inn had been brimming with people. It was one of those days when the whole staff including the boss looked haggard. I would have laughed at the picture Butterbur posed at that time, had I not been looking as careworn as him. He stood near the counter waving papers, shouting orders, yelling at troublemakers. The large beads of sweat that formed on his bald head rolling down continuously, his eyes wide and voice coarse. The day was already hectic but it became more so when one of the travellers found something a drunkard said offending. It led to one of the most ruthless bar fights I had ever seen. In California, you could get arrested for using violence. Smashing heads and breaking glass was something I wasn't accustomed to. It started off just as a fight would both men stood up knocking their chairs down. Then the shouting began. Even with my limited knowledge of Westron, I caught some pretty abusive words. The crowd wasn't exactly helping the matters. The loud jeers and cheers made the men even more aggressive. Amidst the loud yells and jabs, I didn't quite catch what man number 2 said. All I knew was the fact that the inn went deadly quiet for a moment, and then the real deal started. The man number 1 tacked the other to the ground. He fisted him across the face not once not twice but more than a few times. The crowd jeered in disappointment at the incapability of the one getting smashed. It was a surprise when he caught the fist of the first man and rolled him over. It was now him the hunter and the other one his prey. Butterbur shouted a few times to break up the fight but no one paid him any heed. It would have been alright had it been a fight of just the two men. I don't quite know how or when it happened but something triggered the ones standing the closest to the fighters and they joined the fight. I looked on wide-eyed as soon almost all of the drunken inn was engaged in a bloody war. Tables were overthrown, chairs broken and glasses smashed. Raforta had dragged me to the back of the counter so we could be semi-safe from the flying objects. I knew I looked like a wide-eyed, non-believing, open-mouthed fool as I took in all the happenings around us. It had taken sober people from neighbouring houses and Butterbur hours to calm down the fights and kick out the culprits. The damage was huge but the way everyone shrugged off the fight in the morning was even more unbelievable to me. When I had clarified with Raforta that I had never seen such a bar fight in my own home she had scoffed not believing my word. It seemed that these were common here. 'God forbid' I gulped remembering the fight.

Making a beeline for the kitchen I closed the door. I wasn't going to serve anyone before having breakfast myself. My short-tempered morning self-didn't work quite as well as it did with a good old cup of tea. My breakfast consisted of a few pieces of toast and jam with tea. I washed the plates after I was done. Going back to the counter once again, I looked around to see if there was someone waiting for service. Only three tables were filled today. One table had two travellers almost done with whatever business they were discussing. Shaking hands, both of them nodded to each other. They dropped their bills on the table and left the inn going their separate ways. One of the tables hosted an old wrinkled man enjoying his morning tobacco. What really caught my attention was the man sitting on the table near the windows, at the far end of the room. He was someone you could pass off as your common day to day traveller but something seemed a little different about him. He was clad in breeches and shirt. Hard leather boots drawn over his breeches. A large cloak was bound around his shoulders. I couldn't exactly see his face under the shadow of the hood but I got the feeling that he knew I was staring. Drawing my eyes away abruptly, I started cleaning the counter. 'No use pondering over nothing. You've got a lot of work to do' I reminded myself. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't exactly shake away this instinct that something might happen in the near future. Something closely related to this man.

* * *

 ** _To be continued..._**

A/N: In the last chapter I said something about incorporating Westron and English. Although I've already removed it but still if someone has confusion to why I didn't italicise the Westron, it is because at first, I wanted to write in a different format. The storyline is still in the process of construction so changes are being made to the next chapters.


	6. (PART-I) Chapter 5: An unexpected turn

**_Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR._**

 **Author' Note:** Thank you to all the people who are taking their time to read the fic, especially those who favourited or followed. It's truly appreciated.

 ** _La Femme Absurde:_** _Your review really puts a smile on my face. As a token of apology for the last small chapter, I give you this one, which is almost thrice the length of the last one._

 ** _Narylfiel:_** _No he is not, quite opposite actually. I love the books, as far as I've read them. Thank you. I hope you enjoy this chapter too :)_

 ** _The English in the conversation is in italics if any._**

 ** _I hope you enjoy the chapter. RR._**

* * *

 **Chapter 5: An Unexpected Turn.**

"One here, Miss!" came a slurred shout from behind. Heaving, as the huge tray full of mugs, weighed down my arms, I passed through the room, serving the mugs and collecting the old ones where necessary.

The crowd in the Prancing Pony was thick. The tumultuous bodies, loud shouts and guffaws taking me back to the bar fight we had a month ago. I wrinkled my nose at the thick scent of tobacco and alcohol that dominated over the bar, along with the dim lighting throwing a certain gloom to the surroundings and nearly jumped out of my skin as a hand encircled my elbow.

Looking back, and coming across the haggard expression of Raforta, I nearly heaved in comfort but her nervous gaze stopped me. Before I knew it I was being pushed behind the counter, the tray of empty mug forcefully taken and placed on the counter in front of us.

"Lane", she started, "you asked me to find you a traveller and I have."

This surprised me, although I wasn't sure why she was so shaken about this. "He is a ranger, it seems, and an acquaintance of Butterbur." She continued, in a whisper. 'Ahh, so that's why...!' I mused. I wasn't exactly sure why but the people of Bree weren't exactly fond of rangers. Be it a simple traveller, man, hobbit, dwarf, they were welcomed but when someone introduced themselves as a ranger or showed the mannerisms they associate with rangers, the air just went cold. I wasn't exactly sure what to make of it. In my time here I had come across two rangers, both of them kept to themselves, and even with my slight psychiatric studies, I was sure that they weren't blood-thirsty murderers. Why all of this unnecessary care, I wasn't sure.

"Where is he?", I asked letting a little enthusiasm seep into my voice. Raforta looked at me in an unbelieving way. As if she wasn't sure that I was stupid enough to want to associate with a ranger even after all of the dark, albeit extremely far-fetched, stories I had heard.

"If Butterbur knows him...", I tried to reassure her after seeing her ashen face. "Please Raforta!", I pleaded. I wasn't going to give up which might be the only chance of answers being a pansy. My inner modern woman won't allow it.

Raforta glimpsed at my pleading face and sighed. Gesturing to one corner of the room she told me that he, the ranger, is waiting for someone to take his order and that I could utilise this. Following her gaze, I looked to see where she pointed meekly. I stopped short. It was the same man I had seen in the morning. I thought he had left but he might have taken a room to rest in. His face was still hidden by the cloak. So this was why I had that feeling in my gut! I didn't know why but looking at him made me nervous. If he agrees, I don't know what I'll be pushing myself into. What if leaving here leads to a huge disaster after all Raforta and Butterbur were the only people I counted on in this world. What if in the end, it will be too late to turn back? What if this ranger isn't exactly as great of a man Butterbur says he is? What if he is a...? All these negative thoughts caused my mind to spin. I visibly gulped. Maybe I don't exactly need to leave, I mean I could have a life here... I thought shrinking away.

"Raforta...", I started, trying to make an excuse "maybe I don't-". She wasn't here anymore. I saw her serving a few customers in the back. 'Great! She must've thought I really want to talk with this man'. I groaned inaudibly.

I peeked at him again. He was beating fingers against the table, waiting impatiently. Squaring my shoulders and putting on a brave expression, I moved towards him with a purpose in my step. As I reached near him, he glanced up, his stark blue eyes impatient. Stopping in front of him, I cleared my throat before speaking up.

"What would you like?", my tone was polite. He looked up to meet my eyes. He had handsome features, ruggedly so.

"Whatever is of the least price, Miss." His mannerism was well bred as he spoke in his low baritone voice. I felt my confidence rise slightly at his politeness. Smiling slightly I informed him of the cheapest menus. After confirming his order, I nodded at him and left to place his order in the kitchen.

I served a few more customers while his food was being prepared by the chef. I gave him his menu and left, so he could eat to his fill. Also, I wasn't exactly sure how to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger, however respectful he may be. It wasn't like I could exactly go up to him and demand him to take me with him neither could I just sit in front of a customer and take his time without consent. He was a man of a constricting society, how would he react to me, I wasn't exactly longing to see. For a long hour, I was busy with the ever-increasing crowd, after I had served the last of my shift, I peeked at him again to see if he was done with his dinner. After cleaning his plates I would be free from today's chores. Sighing slightly, I made my way over to him again. For the whole hour, I've been thinking of what to do and I still hadn't come to a decision. Thinking of leaving it as it was, I decided not to breach the topic with him. After all even Raforta and Butterbur did not know of my will to travel. Revealing my will to a complete stranger, whose reaction I didn't have a clue of was nerve-wracking and totally impossible for me. What if he goes straight to Raforta or Butterbur? I wasn't ready to face them if they found out about my decision to leave. It will be like rubbing their kindness in their faces.

I came to halt in front of him. At his nod, I picked up the dirty plates and turned to leave. "Miss" I stopped to face him at his voice "can I get a mug of water?"

I smiled and nodded. Good behaviour was necessary for a good business, Raforta had said. No matter what I might be feeling being impolite to a person being so well mannered was not a choice. Placing the dishes in the tub of water. I took out a mug from behind the counter and filled it with water. I delivered his water to him.

"Miss Lanette", he said sounding slightly unsure of himself.

"Yes?" I replied, curious about what he had to say.

"Butterbur had asked me to entertain your questions if I get time? What questions, I'm not quite sure of, but if it pleases you we can talk now." He stared at me as if to gauge my expression. I was surprised how Butterbur knew but I guess Raforta hadn't exactly kept her promise to herself. No surprise there, it wasn't like she alone could've got a ranger to give me enough time to talk with me. 'I don't have to strike up a conversation myself' I thought, pleased. Silently I gave my thanks to Butterbur.

He, the ranger, was staring at me for an answer.

"Yes-I umm, I need a little bit of information about The kingdoms of men," I said haltingly, it felt as if my knowledge of Westron was leaving me at the moment of need. "there aren't many people here who are knowledgeable enough." I finished lamely.

Gesturing to the seat in front of him, he told me to sit down.

"Miss Lanette," he said, "I'm not sure if I'll be able to provide you with any knowledge you need but if you'll tell me more precisely." 'Precisely?' I tried to wrack my brain if I had heard this word before. At my clueless expression, he said: "Clearly, miss I mean clearly".

"Ah." I trailed off, turning slightly pink. Out of all times now my Westron became like a toddler's.

"I have some..different circumstances.", I said. "I need to go back to my home but it is a difficult matter. I was wondering if I could get any information from a person who knows about the history of men...I mean if there was someone before me who came here while not remembering how." I looked at him to see if his expressions changed.

"Miss Lanette-" "Lane would be fine", I said cutting across his words. If he found this offending he didn't let on. "As you wish, Miss Lane." He said. "Your circumstances are different, how so?". I stopped. I wasn't sure how to explain to him. Neither was I sure if I wanted to. Raforta, who had been my companion for the past four months didn't even know the whole story. At first, I wanted to tell her but I couldn't because of the language barrier. Soon I realised that even though elves and dwarves and other creatures are said to exist in this world, a person who came from another realm would be too far-fetched. I was sure that even if I do tell this man, he wouldn't believe me. Consequently, my credibility would be lowered.

"I'm not sure how to explain." My tone stiff. He took this as a hint to not indulge further, though I can tell he became a bit more closed off than he already was. Fair enough.

"What can I help you with, Miss?"

"If you have time, then can you give answers to me about my questions?"

"How long would it take?".

"I'm not exactly sure...", I replied meekly. I really wasn't. If the history goes deep then it might take longer, but I wasn't about to tell him that. I was being selfish, maybe, but I wasn't going to get no for an answer when I could learn, even if a tiny bit, about my predicament.

He sighed. Taking off his hood and revealing a mane of blonde hair. He scrimmaged through his bag and took out a pipe-weed. He settled down further in his chair, as comfortably as he possibly could in the stiff wood and lighted his pipe. As if he already knew that I was going to take up a large chunk of his night. I wondered vaguely what Butterbur had done for this man, for him to give Butterbur this favour.

After that, we talked for a long time. Me asking questions and him answering. The fact that he said that he wasn't knowledgeable enough seemed like a pun now, for he knew the history far too deep for a man who wasn't sure if he could help. I asked about Gondor and Rohan. He told me about Arnor, Gondorians and The Eorlings. The nùmenors and the Dunedians. The people of Dale and even of Bree. He explained the great wars and the line of the kings. The decline of generations and the rule of stewards. He told the tales of the horse-lords. Of Meduseld and Helms deep.

I asked questions and he answered. The history was awesome, and for someone like me who loved all the things historic, this seemed too good to be true. Too exhilarating. Too true.

He knew that he had piqued my interest, but maybe by something in my expression he was confused to why I was still not satisfied. After I had run out of things to ask, silence descended upon us. He stared out of the window lost in thought, smoking his weed slowly. In the light of the spirit lamps and candles, a deep shadow falling across his face.

I exhaled, failing miserably at hiding my disappointment. I bit my lips in an effort to keep my face straight. Four hours we had talked, and yet I couldn't find a single link in their history of anything, any person who might be related to Modern Earth. With my mind racing, I stared at the opposite wall. In the hours we had talked the inn had quietened, people leaving gradually and now only a few people were scattered about. We were sitting on the far end, at a table beside the window. From the corner of my eyes, I could see Raforta buzzing around the inn near us, glancing at me repeatedly. Her eyebrow was creased with worry.

It was futile, I knew that. I had taken up so long and yet I couldn't find any hope. 'Should I just give up...' I mused, the thought gaining weight in my mind. I was being hopeless again but it was hard keeping hold onto a hope that had no basis, a sign of courage that had no foundation. In my heart I wasn't satisfied, the child in me wanted to see it all with its own eyes. I wanted to go to Gondor, to Rohan. I wanted to rummage through their extensive libraries, talk to their elders. Maybe I'll be lucky and find an old text, or maybe even a fantasy tale about someone who came from another realm. I wanted to hear their lore, tales. See their culture for me. I hoped to find an old tale, while passing through a town, about a person who travelled through worlds to do something. Hoped infinitely because it might, if it did exist, be a fairy tale for them but might be the whole answer to my situation.

I wasn't sure what to do. What I was sure of was my need to travel. I peeked at him from beneath my lashes. He was still staring out of the window. 'Should I...' I entertained the thought of asking him for help. Raforta had told me before that he was going to leave tomorrow morning. If he agrees... I shook my head. Why should he? I was just an excessive burden with limited Westron. I wanted to get up, thank the man profusely and leave. And yet, I couldn't move. It felt like I was frozen on the spot. It had taken Raforta months to find a man who'll give me answers. If I don't take my chance now, God knows how long I might have to wait before there comes another who'll be willing to take me with them. Who knows what type of person comes later on? Not like I knew what type of person this man was. 'I don't even know his name, for God's sake!' I was too deep in my thoughts to notice that the inn was empty aside from me or him. Raforta was fidgeting by the counter. I locked eyes with her and mouthed at her to leave and rest. She shook her head instinctively. I glared at her, letting a little desperation seep into my expression. She sighed, I could see her expressions change as she made a decision. Nodding slightly, still unsure, she slowly climbed the flight of stairs.

"She cares for you." I jumped at the voice of the man. My gaze snapped back to him. "A little too much", I muttered slightly. If I leave, the person who'll be the most hurt will be her. I was sure of that. This reason also contributed to my double-mindedness.

"When are you leaving?" I asked, trying to keep the conversation going.

"Tomorrow, if possible, Miss."

I didn't know why. Maybe it was the thick scent of weed and alcohol of the inn or the tired expression of this man. Or the way I knew that our conversation had already ended and he'll soon take his leave.

"Miss-" He hadn't even started saying what he wanted to when I cut across him. My voice firm and fast, yet almost a whisper. "Take me with you!"

I was surprised at my own forward-ness. His eyebrows shot up. He was clearly not expecting this.

I needed to reason with him, tell him my distress before he slaps a big NO on my face.

"Look," I said, my voice slightly high pitched than usual "I know that it's not easy to make a complete stranger your travelling partner. But you need to understand!" I drew in a shaky breath to steady myself. "My circumstances are unique, strange even. I'm far from home, too far that I'm not sure if I can go back. I did not want to get the knowledge about the kingdoms so that I can humour myself, nor did I waste your time just for amusement. I wanted to see if there was something that connects me to the mode- I mean home. If something connects me to home. Please, I know in my heart that I have to go there. I need to go there to see for myself, if I'm right in my theory or not. _Need to get out of here before I suffocate!_ " I looked desperately into his startled eyes. Wringing my hand in front of myself to steady nervousness, I waited for what he had to say about my sudden outburst. He said nothing for a long moment, exhaling a last ring of smoke he set down his pipe. I was already scared about what he had to say.

"Miss Lane, I'm sure that you did not talk to me to humour yourself and I must insist that you didn't waste my time. It was a pleasure." He said, his words polite but his tone had a certain degree of hardness in it. "But," he continued "it is impossible for me to take you as my companion. I do not know your circumstances. I'm sure you're desperate but there's nothing I can do about that. The times are dark m'lady, and certainly not proper for a woman to travel in the company of a man." I opened my mouth to plead my case once again but he cut across me saying "Dark things lurk these days Miss, you're not equipped to defend yourself. I don't mean to be rude, but I'm not sure I want to go through the hassle."

It took every fibre in my body to not start bawling right there. I was mad and sad at the same time. 'Couldn't protect me. Ha!' I thought stubbornly, though a little part of me was aware that what he said was the harsh truth. I hated him for it.

"I shall be leaving now Miss Lane, I have business to attend tomorrow and should take my rest. It was a pleasure." He nodded politely and then stopping for a moment he continued "M'lady, I meant no offence, just what is right should be said."

"None taken," I said more out of the fact that he was still a prized customer than anything else. "But," I continued halting him midway "please at least tell me your name, after all of your kindness I should at least remember that."

"Not many people tell their names in these perilous times." I detected a hint of amusement in his voice.

"I hardly think that telling me would cause you peril," I replied, craning my neck to look at him. He laughed, a loud manly laugh. "Who knows m'lady, who knows."

He continued towards the stairs, before climbing he stopped. Looking back at me with his neck turned slightly.

"Èohere Freeman, Miss Lanette", he said and vanished up the stairs.

I stared at the dark street for a long time. Lost in my own world of disappointment and distraught.

'Èohere Freeman...' It had left a sour taste on my tongue. 'Of course, he'll not take me, it's Middle-earth, the medieval ages, not the twenty-first century America' I thought forlornly.

It was a lot later when the night was fading and my eyelids were heavy that I realised that Èohere was hardly a ranger's name. 'He can't blame me for keeping my secrets...' I mused vaguely as sleep took me. Still sitting on the table with my head nestled in my arms, I fell into a fitful sleep.

I was shaken awake a few hours later by Raforta, for it had already been almost morning when I went to sleep. She asked me if I was okay. I nodded slightly not trusting my voice to not break. The events of last night flashing across my mind. It seemed that the hope of finding something with which I had spent my last four months vanished in just a moment. How much longer was I supposed to wait until I find someone willing to take me to the places where my answers would be? How long until I find the solution to my predicament? If there was any, I thought forlornly. _How long until I get back home?_

Surely I can't wait for years. What if everyone had already believed the untrue fact that my absence meant my death?

Emotions bubbled in my throat. Gulping I moved across the inn towards the stairs. I needed a bath. I needed time to think alone.

After almost an hour, I came out of the bathroom. Dressed in a new albeit similar dress, I moved downstairs. My chores won't do themselves. I climbed down the stairs, fresher than I was feeling an hour ago. There was no use concerning myself over someone who had probably already left, I tried to lift up my spirits. Raforta was flipping the toast for our breakfast. The few customers sitting scattered throughout the inn were already served. She smiled at me as I came closer.

I started stuffing my face with warm toast and a cup of milk tea when Raforta inquired about yesterday. I nearly spat out my toast.

"It was...very informative," I assured her and it truly was. Èohere had given me more than enough knowledge of the history of Middle-earth.

"He had already left, I think," I said sipping the last of my tea, trying not to show that I was curious. Thankfully Raforta didn't quite catch on. She shook her head. "He had some business in a near village. He told me to keep a room for him because he might have to sleep today too."

"Hmm," Raforta seeing that my attention was already diverted left to start her work. I replayed last night's conversation over and over again. His last sentences coming back to me. "I don't know your circumstances.", he had said. 'What if...' I squashed the idea shaking my head. No way would he believe me if I told him my story. It was not a good idea. But still, I couldn't shake off the thoughts. Unknowingly I started constructing in my mind the ways in which the conversation might end. I squeezed my cheeks trying to come back towards reality. Scoffing at my own frazzled thoughts I started to collect the dishes from the tables.

* * *

I worked for hours. Wiping the sweat from my brow, I carried the tub of washed clothes to hang them on the line in the backside of the pub. The sun was bright, the temperature hot. The rays of the sun were dehydrating the skin. The fact that there were no air cons or even electric fans was annoying, to say the least. The weather wasn't stopping here, Nob informed me that the mid of the summer, which would come almost a month later, is harsh enough to cause deaths sometimes. Not a pleasant thought, to say the least. Hanging the clothes on the line I nearly ran into the coolness of the shade. I could see the shadows swirling around my eyes. Sitting down to regain my composure, I drank a large mug of cold water, letting its coolness calm my senses and disrupt the heated skin. I was just about to get up to stack the dry dishes when Èohere walked into the inn. He looked around and spotting me behind the counter, he made his way over to me. He sat down on one of the stools and ordered his lunch. I stood still, my mind had already wandered off when I saw him enter. I had been entertaining thoughts of telling him the whole truth. Maybe if he knows the truth, somehow he'll agree, a childish part of me hoped.

I knew I should be serving the customer but I couldn't exactly control my impulses.

"Look Èohere, about last night," I started, seeing his controlled expression shift to exasperation "what if...What if I tell you the truth of my circumstances? Or wait let me tell you my story, and then you can decide if what I asked you was worth it!"

"Miss Lane-"

"Please, I beg of you! Just listen to me once. Give me another chance." I pleaded. I was desperate and I didn't care if the other customers stared at me as if I had gone mad, or how Èohere let a little bit of annoyance slip into his voice when he next spoke.

"Miss Lane, give me my ordered meal." He held up his hand as I opened my mouth to interrupt him. He was clearly not done and wasn't going to let me ramble off again. "You can tell me your circumstances, only while I eat, no more than that. But I can assure you that whatever you have to say won't affect my final decision."

I nodded, grateful to get a chance to explain myself. I knew I was annoying but I was distraught. I was sure that if in the future I think back to this day, I'll be extremely embarrassed. Right now though, I could either be embarrassed or could make the best of it all. I turned around to fix him a little bread and gravy. I filled a mug with the cold water and placed it all in front of him. Dragging a stool across the counter I sat parallel to him, the counter acting as a barrier between us. It was a good thing probably, so even if he would want to smash my head against the wall due to all the nonsense to him, facts, I could be safe slightly. I waited patiently until he started eating, thinking again about what I was going to do.

Looking at him I drew in a shaky breath and wrung my hands. Clearing my throat slightly I started to speak. 'Now or Never!' I thought firmly.

After that, it was like I had already recorded the tale in a flow. I told him every single detail. How I got here, how I came to Bree, the language complications, the difficulty in adjusting, my effort in learning Westron. I even said a few sentences of English to make him believe my tale. I wasn't aware of the fact that he had stopped eating in the middle of my rant. I wasn't aware of anything but my own emotions. The last four months flashing like a movie in my mind. I was not even aware of the slight wetness of my eyes.

Èohere was staring at me when I finished. A long moment stretched between us. I waited desperately for his answer but he didn't make a single sound. I felt stupid and exposed. I had just bared my whole experience to him and he had nothing to say. I stood up abruptly and before his lips could form a single word, I fled wholly humiliated. Reaching my room, I slammed the door shut and slid down the wall. "I can assure you that whatever you have to say won't affect my final decision." His voice echoing in my brain. 'Of course, he doesn't care, what am I but a bothersome stranger to him' I thought groaning. 'Think before you speak, they say it for a reason', I sighed burying my face in my arms. I was totally humiliated. I hadn't even stopped to hear what he had to say. I should've at least said thank you for bearing with me.

I had only an hour of personal bashing and recurring embarrassment before Raforta found me. She was surprised that I hadn't been doing my chores, as nothing like this has ever happened before. I couldn't exactly tell her why I was embarrassed so I had to follow her downstairs to finish my work. Stopping at the middle stair, I peeked down. To my luck, he was nowhere to be seen. I exhaled a breath I didn't know I was holding. I went around the counter to stack the dishes and do my chores before night falls and the inn becomes rowdy.

I worked for a long time, the few hours I had lost due to my foolhardiness felt heavy now. I washed the dishes and the tankards, stacked the dry ones, scrubbed the floors, folded the laundry and cleaned the empty rooms.

I wiped my hands on the apron. Looking out of the window, my gaze was met with the dark nothingness of the night. I groaned and stretched my back. This work was physically tiring and with my mind already caught up in my embarrassment, I was feeling drowsy. Though I knew I couldn't leave work today as there were only four of us, Bob has left to attend some family gathering. I worked way into the night. Taking orders, serving the crowd, cleaning the mess and trying to keep the rowdiness in bounds. What I was thankful for was the fact that Èohere was nowhere to be seen. Although I was grateful, I was slightly disappointed too, at my own behaviour. Why the heck had I left that abruptly? I knew that in a small part of my heart I wanted to see him again, just to apologise for my bad behaviour and to thank him for his help.

'No use thinking about what had already passed' I mused as I served the last of customers and retired for bed.

* * *

Tip, tap, tap. I groaned burying my face deeper in the pillow. Tip, tip, tap. The sound continued. Cracking my eyes open, I was greeted by the orange hues of the rising sun. 'Who the heck!' I thought angrily as I moved towards the window. It was the sound of small stones hitting the wooden surfaces. Loud enough for me to hear but not enough to disturb the rooms beside mine. Peeking down, my eyes met with Arnie, the stable boy. At my glare, he waved a small piece of paper and pointed towards me. For me? I was surprised. Who would want to bother me at this time? Sighing I wore my shoes and moved out of the room. Annoyed would be a huge understatement. Reaching the end of the stairs, I looked around to see if someone was awake. Even Raforta was asleep. Honestly, I was irked. I moved out of the front door. Arnie was standing by the pillar waiting for me.

"What is it?" I asked without patience, my tone sharp. The kid looked scared of me honestly. I couldn't exactly blame him. I was standing there in front of him, my face pulled down in a scowl, my brown hair probably making a fine bird's nest, eyes red due to my interrupted sleep.

"Some ranger told me to pass this to you as soon as possible, without anyone else knowing, Miss.", he said. I blanched. A ranger? The only so-called ranger I knew was- I grabbed the paper Arnie extended towards me. I nodded and thanked him before moving inside. What does Èohere want from me? I thought startled. I didn't open the small note until I was safely in the boundary of my room.

I opened the folds and with slight difficulty read the small note, nearly choking on thin air during the process. I couldn't believe my eyes. There was a small word "Ingleesh" written on the side. I realised with a start that it was Èohere's way of telling me that the note was from him. I hadn't told anyone else the name of my language, only mentioning it in front of Butterbur and the guard, Stan, when I came here three months ago.

I read the note again to make sure that I had not gone blind. It read:

"Miss Lanette, hope this morning finds you well. I gave thought to your tale, I'm not sure of the truth, but can think of no reason for you to lie to me. I have some business near Chetwood and by noon I shall be passing near the South gate. My destination is Rohan. If you are still firm on your decision to travel, buy a horse for yourself from the stable boy, I've already selected one and the boy will guide you, and meet me with suitable but minimum baggage at the gate. I shall pass without waiting."

Oh. My. God.

I stared at the note for almost an hour. Initially, I had been ecstatic but then I remembered Raforta... I hadn't told her my decision to leave and I wasn't exactly sure how to. I had a deadline. If I was still set on the journey, I needed to get going. I needed supplies, I needed to buy a horse and yet...

I groaned regretting the fact that I hadn't told Raforta my decision before. The light entering the room was a sign that Raforta will be here in a few moments, to wake me up. It was a chance if I was willing to utilize it. I ran my hands through my hair, tangling them even more than they already were. Falling back on the bed, I looked at the ceiling. 'What was I even so scared of?' I knew exactly what I feared. It wasn't like she won't appreciate my decision. It was just the fact that I might pay her four months of kindness and friendship by hurting her feelings. I kept staring at the wooden planks. On the other hand, I had gone through all the embarrassment and had been overly-annoying just to hear this.

I heard shuffling from behind the door. She's here. I sat up just as she opened the door. Her brows quirked at the fact that I was already awake. I told her to come to sit with me before she got the chance to say anything. I could tell that she was startled but she came to sit by me on the bed.

I inhaled sharply. Taking her hands in my own shaky ones I squeezed them once. "Raforta," I said, taking in her slight frown "I'm leaving." I was blunt, but I saw no use in sugar coating my words. I knew that she won't appreciate it. I held my breath waiting for her reaction. Was she going to be mad? Cry? Be angry? Hate me?

What I didn't expect was the fact that she took my face in her hands and kissed me once on the forehead, her expression embodiment of motherly affection.

"I know, Lane, I am sorry to say but I heard it when you told the ranger. You thought that I was already gone but I was by the last step when you asked him."

"Weren't you mad?". She sighed.

"I see no use in being, you came here on unknown circumstances, you knew not Westron and yet you drew and read maps. Your mannerism not of a lady but the way you held yourself spoke volumes. At first, I thought you were a lady, who has perhaps lost her memories. I soon realised it wasn't the case. I do not know the truth about you but." She drew in a breath "If it is something you need to do, I will not stop you. I hope you know that I am always going to be here if you come back."

I wasn't too proud to not cry in her arms then.

* * *

"...you should pack the least amount of clothes with you, wear one and keep one or two, at the most, changes." Raforta was set on packing my bags with me. I nodded absent-mindedly. She insisted on packing dresses but I wasn't going to do that. The leather breeches weren't as comfortable as a pair of good old jeans and a tee but I wasn't going to wear dresses on my travel. What if it gets stuck somewhere and I tumble off of the mountains. I was sure that even if Èohere wasn't going to be appreciative of my pant clad self, he was going to be way more vexed once he realises that even after four months I haven't learnt the art of dress wearing.

I looked up to see Raforta staring at me with the bag packed. I grinned at her sheepishly.

"Can I have one last breakfast made by your hands?" I didn't even need to say anything else before Raforta moved out of the room with a bright nod. I glanced out to see if she had reached the kitchen. I was going to make my escape through the back door. I needed to find Spike, the tailor. First time I had met him when Raforta and Butterbur and all the other elders of the town were chatting together in the town hall. He was the most open-minded man I had seen in Bree. Raforta had asked me to take a few clothes to him so he could mend them. I had stayed until he was done. During that time, he had chatted with me. Almost as if in a trance he had told me about his deceased wife. I choked on the drink I was given when he said that his wife liked wearing breeches sometimes. I had asked him if he could make some for me and he had brightened considerably thus leading to my breech wearing incident. When I met him to return the clothes he was embarrassed, promising never to make me something that can cause such outrage. He was startled when I waved it off laughingly and told him to keep a few in store for me so if I ever needed it...Now was the time.

I needed to go with the grace of a stealthy ninja, rather I bumped into a table along the way, nearly stumbling out of the door. I made my way towards his shop. It was only a few houses away. I smiled at a few people along the way, waving to a group of excited children. I knocked on his door, he looked surprised to see me and even more so when I stated what I was there for. He shook his head as if he couldn't figure me out. He disappeared towards the back of the shop and emerged a moment later with three pairs of breeches and shirts. He also placed a brown cloak on top of it. I paid him a few coins out of the ones I had saved. Picking up the clothes I thanked him and left. I reached the inn just as Raforta was calling me for breakfast. I hurried up to my room, took out the dresses from the bag and put in the ones I just got. I set aside one pair for wearing before I leave and made my way downstairs.

I had a nice breakfast of eggs, smoked meat and toast with a warm cup of tea. Butterbur joined us mid-breakfast, his eyes wide at the extravagant meal. It only took a sentence for him to understand before he joined us too. We had good conversation, Butterbur trying to keep to mood light. I excused myself a while later. It was going to be noon in less than an hour. I needed to make haste. I climbed the steps and went to my room. I took out my handbag from the little wooden cabinet. I stared at the bag, not having touched it in so long. Emptying all its contents on the bed I arranged the things. A few pills of Panadol, a pack of mint gums, my cell phone, a few cosmetics, my wallet and an empty water bottle. My dress pants and shirt safely placed in the closet. I opened my bag and placed the modern clothes at the bottom. I couldn't bring myself to part with them. I took the Panadol and the mint gums and also put them inside my bag. I stared at my cell phone for a moment. It wasn't of any use and yet...I groaned and threw it in the bag. I got up closing the bag shut. Closing the thin, woollen curtains I changed into the breeches and shirt. The shirt was slightly long reaching just a little ways above my mid thighs. I wore the leather travel boots I had gotten a few weeks ago. I tied the cloak around my shoulders. Taking up the bag, I wore it across my shoulders. I grabbed the handbag and my pouch of money, I made my way downwards. Raforta choked at my attire. I gave her a hard look. Whatever she was going to say died on her tongue as I moved to hug her. She squeezed my shoulders lightly and held on for a few moments. I extended the handbag towards her. "A gift." I didn't elaborate but still, she smiled and kissed my head. I gave a big handshake to Butterbur. He was surprised when I hugged him too. Smiling at Nob and Bob I said my goodbyes. If I hadn't had a deadline I would have stopped there, trying to memorise their faces, each and every thin line. I would've started crying again if I stopped for long. Drawing in a shaky breath I moved across the lane to get to the stables. I was greeted by Arnie. One look at me and he understood what I wanted. He took me to a stall that hosted a large grey stallion. In contrast to all the thin and weak ponies and horses, this stable hosted the horse looked magnificent, muscles hard beneath the skin.

"How much?" I asked awed. "Fifty pieces." came the reply and I nearly choked. "What!?" I whirled around to face him. "The man chose this for you. It is one of the few horses in this part of Middle-Earth that has half the blood of Rohan moving through its veins." He looked proud. I bit my lip, I was two coins short. "Decrease the price a little. It's a deal on forty." I bargained. "No Miss Lane, it is too good of a horse to bargain on."

I groaned. He looked uncertain. "Forty-five coins and no less Miss." He said after a long moment. I grinned. "Forty-eight with a saddle."

"Done Miss." He said nodding his head. He took the horse out and moved out of the stall. I followed. I gave him the coins just as he fixed the saddle on it. He smiled slightly handing me the reigns.

I stopped short at his smile. Even a Rohanian baby could ride better than me. I bit my lip looking at this big horse.

"Do you have a like, stool or something?"

I did not need to look at him to know that he was controlling his laughter. Arnie's father, Bernie, was a great friend of Raforta. When Raforta had taken me to meet his family, they had been abashed at the fact that I didn't know how to ride. At Bernie's insistence, I had taken a few lessons from him. Sidesaddle, which he was teaching me, was hard, so without Raforta's knowledge, I had asked him to give me astride lessons. He had agreed. In a week I learnt just enough to hold my balance. I still had to learn those ninja type swinging on the top moves.

Arnie placed a little stool and assisted me while I sat on the horse. "Arnie," I said looking straight into his black orbs. "Would you please take me to the South gate? I don't have enough time and I'm afraid I might get lost". He agreed without a word. This boy just needed an excuse to roam about the town. It seemed as though I had flashed back to my first day. People looking appalled at my dressing. The only difference was the fact that now I knew a few of them and I found their appalled expressions amusing. A small smirk formed on my face. Raforta, Butterbur, Nob and Bob were standing outside the bar. I waved at them until they disappeared out of my sight. About ten minutes later we reached the South gate.

I reached down and ran my hand through Arnie's hair as a sign of affection. He scowled slightly but didn't say anything. "Bye Arnie, be a good boy and grow up to be a fine man," I said suddenly feeling this emotional urge. I took the reins from his hands.

Squeezing the sides of the horse, I moved out of the large gate, waving at the guard. I stopped and looked back at the town for a moment, taking in the details of the only place I knew in Middle-Earth until the gate closed after me and the town disappeared.

I looked around to see if Èohere was here already. The sun was up, blazingly hot indicating that it was noon. From the Eastward direction, I could see a small blob approaching. A few moments later, Èohere came into the view, clad just like he had when he came here two days ago. The cloak was drawn over his head, riding a fine black stallion. Nearing me he slowed down into a trot but didn't stop. His eyes took in my pants clad self. I smiled sheepishly. He shook his head smirking.

"So you decided to join me, Miss Lane." His voice amused as he moved away from me down the road.

"That is just your luck, Èohere," I said grinning. Squeezing the sides of the horse, I adjusted in the saddle. It started trotting.

He chuckled just as I caught up to him. 'Maybe the journey wouldn't be as bad' I mused, my lips quirking up in a satisfied smile.

* * *

 ** _To be continued..._**


	7. (PART-I) Chapter 6: Distraught

**_Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR._**

 ** _Author's Note:_** _Thank you to all the people who favourited or followed, you all are awesome._

 ** _WinnieFawn:_** _I'm so glad you found my story to fend off your boredom. I hope that you keep liking all the (many) Oc's that are going to make their appearances. Enjoy the chapter :)_

 ** _Marie0907:_** _Honestly I love the fact that you like this story. Aragorn was my favourite character in LOTR, can't help but make my Oc slightly similar to him. This is set almost two years before the fellowship of the ring. Hope you enjoy this chapter too :)_

 ** _Narylfiel:_** _...aaand she's off. Hope you like this chapter too :)_

 ** _Scylla's revenge:_** _Thank you :) I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as you did with the previous ones._

 **Enjoy! RR.**

* * *

 **Chapter 6: Distraught.**

Thirty-eight. Thirty-nine. Forty.

I squinted my eyes, leaning forward in the saddle. No, it was _definitely_ thirty-nine.

"You will fall off of your saddle if you lean anymore, Miss." Èohere's voice startled me out of my reverie. Due to his sudden voice after hours of silence, I nearly fell off. Steading myself just barely, I squeezed the reins of the horse in an effort to regain my balance which resulted in an annoyed neigh from Barnaby, my grey stallion.

I looked up to see Èohere, once again lost in his own world. I sighed. It has been more than a few hours since we started off from Bree, the sun was already beginning to set in a magnificent art of pastel hues. It was quite a scene to behold. If there was one thing I loved about middle earth it was the purity of nature here. No pollution, factory residue, filth or foulness.

Initially, I had thought that Èohere would be a good company, but I soon realised that he preferred not to talk until it was absolutely necessary. When we started off it didn't matter too much. After all never in my home, had I ever ridden a horse. There was something absolutely calming about the slow passing of the beautiful nature as Barnaby galloped across the plains. But after a while, I had become bored and to fill up this uneasiness I had thought long and hard about Barnaby's name. It was a huge task as I had no idea what type of names you could give a horse, especially someone as bossy as him. I had come to the conclusion that Barnaby suited him, not taking into account the fact that I only had to choose from Beethoven, Maia and Barnaby, all of these I had names came from my knowledge of movies. That all had been almost three hours ago, it seemed. Now I had been counting the amount of pale hair Èohere's black stallion had. It was a fun task that is until Èohere had startled me with his undue wittiness and had shattered my world of careful calculations.

Many times I had been tempted to start a conversation but couldn't because I had no idea what to talk about. It wasn't like I could go 'Hey Èohere, quite a pleasant weather we have here' when it was so blazingly hot in the noon. I groaned inaudibly. At least he was gracious enough to let me tag along. If he didn't want to talk, I wasn't going to be annoying.

I shifted slightly on the saddle, feeling my inner thighs go sore. It was going to be so pleasant when I get off of the horse and wouldn't be able to walk unless I decide to act like a cartoon cowboy, the ones that always walk with their thighs open. I smirked at the mental image it was posing and imagines Eohere's reaction to such a sight. A chuckle escaped past my lips as I stared at his blonde mane knowing that he might be scarred for life.

. His cloak clad back was blurring as the night progressed. He had told me in his note that he was going to Rohan, wherein Rohan I wasn't exactly sure. Nor was I sure how long was the ride going to be. I sighed, keeping my mouth shut as the sun vanished and dark nothingness of night descended upon us.

"We shall stop here," Èohere said, coming to a stop near a small clearing. A narrow stream was flowing on one side, a small distance from the clearing. He swung down from his horse tying the reins on a low hanging branch and proceeded on with his work without even sparing a small glance at me. I was thankful though, maybe he won't see my ungraceful descent from Barnaby. My skill was already non-existent and with my legs sore from riding all day I wasn't sure how it will turn out. Peeking at Èohere, I sighed in relief as I saw him breaking a few branches for making a fire, his back towards me. I slid down from the horse, the only problem being, that it was not a pony but a large tall beast. As a result, I thumped on the ground face down. I humph-ed, scrambling to my feet and dusting my clothes free of dust. I winced slightly as my sore legs took on my whole weight. I walked over to the small clearing, wincing and groaning along the way. Èohere looked at me with an unbelieving gaze. He cleared his throat appearing shook. I was glad when he said nothing, my cheeks red with embarrassment.

I helped him where ever I could. We set up a fire, placed our bags near us and tied the reins of the horses a little nearer than previously. Èohere was about to go hunting for food when I took out the small provisions Raforta had packed for me. We enjoyed the bread and seasoned meat, a small voice in my head telling me that it will be a long _long_ time before I taste her cooking ever again.

Later I was sitting by the fire when Èohere told me to sleep as we would start off again at daybreak. I didn't argue. The whole day of travel had made me drowsy. I placed a thick cloth that Raforta had packed to be used as the bed in the wilderness, on the floor. Covering myself with my cloak and using my bag as a pillow I fell into a tired sleep.

* * *

I was shaken awake even before dusk. I groaned, creaking my eyes open to see Èohere standing above me. I glared at him for a moment before getting up on my feet, muttering angrily in English. I had to do something about my morning grogginess lest I bust open a few skulls before digesting a sufficient amount of caffeine. Rubbing my eyes, I dragged myself over to the stream and washed my face and hands. The cool water tingling pleasantly on my face. I took a tiny piece of chew stick and chewed on it to get rid of the bad breath. Èohere was already assembling his things. I stayed by the stream for another moment, staring at the slowly emerging sun. "Miss Lane." I turned my neck slightly to see Èohere ready to get on his horse. I hurried across, folding my bed cloth and tying my cloak around my neck. I fixed my bag on the saddle. Now I needed to get on the horse. Èohere was staring at me amusedly with his eyebrows raised slightly. With no little difficulty, I got on the horse. Nearly throwing the bag off in my attempt. After gaining balance I looked up to see Èohere already moving.

"What about break-" I was silenced when he threw a piece of bread at me. Sighing slightly, I ate it without complaint. It wasn't like we were going to eat smoked meat and buttered toast in the wild. 'But my tea..." My face twisted in displeasure. 'This is what you get for wanting to be on the road so bad' the lazy comfort loving girl in me thought.

* * *

I looked at the silent back of Èohere again. I blinked my eyes, suddenly feeling drowsiness wash over me. Looked like it was going to be a quiet day again.

Just like that, days passed and before I knew it a whole week had gone by since we started on the road. There were a few small villages around the location of Bree. We passed near one such village but judging by the quiet it seemed as though it was mostly deserted. 'Perilous times' Èohere had said but how so I wasn't educated upon.

The view progressively changed from the few small farms to a plain grassland. If you looked closely enough peaks could be seen in the distance at our East. High peaks on our left. It was not short of a miracle to have this green lane between the two ranges. 'Could be fertile farmland' I mused but due to no traces of civilization this far South-East from Bree, it seemed as if no one was going to start his own farmhouse here. What will be the use, when they didn't even have trucks and load-bearing vehicles to trade their goods. After five days we had changed our direction to the East. I had observed the map I had on me and asked Èohere why we couldn't go through Isengard as the way looked less tough but he had just shaken his head. "Nay Miss," he had said lightly, one night, as he breathed another ring of smoke "Isengard is not a place where we can venture without protection." _Protection really?_ What was this, the Game of bloody wars?. At my incredulous expression, he had given a slow laugh and repeated his key sentence. "Perilous times these are Miss Lane, no one knows when something evil shall befall them." I had scoffed then, he was amused by my blatant disbelief that these years were indeed dangerous ones but there was honesty in his eyes and a slight hint of seriousness that stopped me from voicing my disbelief.

Through the other days, Èohere had been quiet only speaking when necessary. About the third day, I had had enough and tried to strike up a conversation with him. The only thing I got out of him was the fact that the journey was about five months long, as he was in no particular hurry, and that his destination was a small village near the eastern border. Dunbourn, he had called it. His tone had masked the longing that flickered in his eyes for a fleeting moment. I wondered if he had a family or a lover there. I already knew for a fact that he wasn't your typical ranger. For once his name was of a Rohirrim man and the fact that he wanted to return to Rohan so badly was just another suggestion. Maybe he was once a ranger but settled in Rohan to live a plain life. But if he did why was he half the way across Middle-Earth in Bree. I shook myself out of these thoughts. Who Èohere was, I didn't know. There was no use pondering over someone I wasn't all that familiar with. Maybe he'll open up to me a few weeks later. Who knew what our travel would bring.

My thoughts shifted to the duration of travel again. Five months. Five months of waking up at dusk, of seldom bathing, of eating beef jerky and minimum meal. Five months _away from civilization._ I sighed. It was a choice I made and I had to deal with it.

We came across a small area where the stream flowed slightly sideways from the path. The ground around it looked solid enough. I didn't think much as we were about to pass it but Èohere stopped his stallion, Aspirin, and swung off the saddle. It was nothing short of a surprise for me when he said we'll camp there. The sun was not yet set, but would so in an hour or two. We could still have travelled a bit further. Even if I wanted to, I didn't question his decision. Nothing he had done till now left us astray. I swung down from the horse ungraciously. My swinging had gotten better but it still was clumsy. At least my thighs didn't become as sore anymore. It took us almost an hour to make the area suitable. Finding the firewood was a hectic job, especially when trees were as scarce as in this area. We had turned Eastward four days ago and had crossed the Mitheithel. The faint mists of the famous Misty mountains loomed in the distance. I placed the last of firewood on the pile as Èohere set to start a fire. I couldn't believe that it had taken us two hours of searching to find this little pile of flammable wood. Èohere had gone for hunting and returned a little more than an hour later with a dead rabbit. I was completely horrified when he sat down on an uprooted trunk and started skinning the animal. I had turned away sharply fighting the urge to vomit all the contents of my stomach. I walked to the small stream in an effort to cool down and didn't return until Èohere had started cooking the meat on the flame. I gave one last pitying look to the dead animal and sat myself down on a stone near the flame. Even though the days were hot there was still a slight chill in the air at night.

The meat cooked slowly and when it was done we began to eat. I had asked Èohere that I didn't want to eat the poor rabbit after seeing it skinned but he had given me a hard look "There is not much more Miss, I would not be carrying you half dead if you starve." After a long internal stubborn battle, I had given in to the growling of my stomach and had started eating, keeping my thoughts distracted. When we had finished, we cleared the supplies. After a short while, we were sitting silently by the flame, lost in our own little worlds.

I looked around to notice our surroundings. The night had already darkened and the slight shine of crescent moon was hidden by the few wispy clouds. Èohere was smoking his pipeweed again, his blue eyes glazed over and looking like sapphires in the shining light of the flame. I placed my head on my wrists sitting slouched as my gaze wandered over the area we were occupying. Something seemed sinister, something I couldn't quite describe. It didn't help matters that since we had been getting close to the mountains Èohere had become more alert. What really freaked me out was the fact that he checked the perimeter for almost an hour every night.

I was broken out of my reverie by the voice of Èohere. My eyes snapped to his and I found him staring at me patiently as if waiting for an answer. Had he asked me a question?

"What was it?" I asked, pleasantly surprised that he was making an effort to ensure conversation.

"I asked Miss about your past" My eyebrows shot up, "Even if you're not from this world yet I can not decide what was your family bearing." At my clueless expression, he added, "Were you a lady or not, I mean Miss."

I pondered over it for a moment, there weren't exactly any ladies or royalties in America and I wasn't sure of what to say. So I went for the only way out. By stalling.

"You didn't exactly tell me anything about you either, aside from your name that is." My tone light but there was a certain amount of honesty in my voice. He smirked slightly. "You get what you give," I said and his eyes crinkled slightly in good humour.

Thus we spent a few hours discussing our lives, most specifically Èohere's. He had caught onto the fact that I didn't know how to explain most of my world so he had left it. I was once again surprised when he started telling me about his own life, albeit it had been my at my curiosity but at least he was opening up. He spoke of his small village that got destroyed in orc raids. I had been confused at orcs. When I asked him his eyes had hardened and his jaw clenched at the mere thought of whatever these orcs were. 'Monsters,' He had said, stating that there was no other way to describe such beastly creatures. He told of the two rangers who came across him and healed him. He trained as one of them until he was told that in the home he had left when he was a mere child his father was considered one of the best generals. So had been his decision to start anew his adulthood in Rohan. I tried to imagine what it must be like to start again and again. It was suddenly clear why Èohere had decided to give me a chance, maybe he saw a bit of his past lost self in me.

I nodded slightly as Èohere got up to go patrolling. I wasn't sure why he did that. How big the parameter needed to be for just two people?. I stared at his back disappeared into the darkness.

'Better sleep' I thought, getting up from my spot. I groaned slightly as I stretched my arms. Blinking my eyes to decrease my drowsiness. I was setting up my bedding cloth when I heard heavy steps behind me. Was Èohere back already? It had just been ten minutes or so since he left and why was he making so much noise? He always moved like a cat.

"What-" I turned around when I realised that it was more than one pair of steps, three or four I would say.

What I saw made my blood run cold. I couldn't believe my eyes, my heartbeat quickened and my mind turned hazy.

Before me, were some of the most hideous looking creatures I had ever seen. Their body shape was mostly like humans but they were too filthy and grotesque to be men. Their mouths were slightly open to show fanged teeth. Their purplish ashen skin glowing in the flame. They looked at me as a lion would look at its prey. I could see the satisfaction on their faces as if they had found their latest game.

I backed up slightly, my mind racing. Èohere wasn't here. If he had gone as far as he had been going for the past two days then he'll return after an hour. Enough time for them to-

I gulped. I went blank. I didn't know what to do. Desperation built up inside me as they stepped closer. I couldn't run. Couldn't escape. Barely keeping myself from crying, I took a few steps backwards, my horrendously trembling legs nearly gave out beneath me. I did the only thing that seemed logical in my condition of distraught.

I screamed.

* * *

 ** _To be continued..._**


	8. (PART-I) Chapter 7: The encounter

**_Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR._**

 **A/N:** Thanks to all of you who favourited or followed. You people are awesome.

 ** _WinnieFawn:_** _Haha, I'm glad that you love them both. I'm trying my best to make her an authentic character with any possible character improvement. It is just the start and there's lots more to come. I hope you enjoy!_

 ** _La Femme Absurde:_** _What's life without a little suspense? ;) I'm trying my best to sketch out a whole adventure for her before the timeline connects with the fellowship of the ring. Here's the next chapter. Enjoy!_

 ** _Marie0907:_** _Honestly, I'll say that it's impossible to dislike him, really. Thank you so much :) I'm trying to make her a Mary-sue less character and I hope it'll work out. I hope you enjoy this chapter too :)_

 ** _Narylfiel:_** _Thank you :) I haven't read the tunnel series but will surely add it to my to-read list. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well!_

 ** _Enjoy! RR._**

* * *

 **Chapter 7: The Encounter.**

I screamed. My voice shrill, high-pitched. I was terrified and trembling. I moved unsteadily back a few steps, my legs feeling like jello in front of such terrible monsters. If I thought that these monsters won't react to me moving or some knight in shining armour would come to save me just as these things came in a two-metre radius of me, I was wholly mistaken. Just as I moved a few steps back, one of the monsters came at me with speed that wasn't supposed to be possible with its mass. It caught me by the arms, it's claws digging into my skin and drawing out blood where they sank particularly deep. I cried out in pain, tears pricking in my eyes. Shaking my arms forcefully I tried with all my strength to free myself. My heart sank when I heard their amused snorts. I inhaled deeply so I could at least scream once more. I knew I was being pathetic but I had no weapon. My only hope was that Èohere might somehow hear me and come to my rescue. After all, it was he who kept a sword and not me. Before I could though, I was kicked harshly in the back so that I fell forward. My chin collided painfully with the hard ground. It all became hazy, my mind clouding with the extreme pain in my back where the kick had connected with my skin. Coughing out the dust I went up shakily on the fours. My heart constricting in horror as I saw blood, more specifically my blood, dripping onto the ground. Touching my chin slightly. I winced as the dirt irritated the wound. It was maybe due to the force of the kick or the power of these creatures that I realised I didn't stand a chance. I drew in a shaky breath as I felt them tying my hands and feet together. One of them took an extremely greasy small piece of cloth and bought it for my face. I realised with a jolt that it was meant for gagging. In my last desperate attempt to call for help. I drew in another long breath and screamed again on the top of my lungs. It wasn't a good idea. I felt something connecting with my face before my brain processed the sharp tingling of the slap. I closed my eyes in a lost attempt to keep a little bit of my mind working. I was picked up like a sack of garbage and thrown against a tree. My back, already beginning to bruise from the earlier kick, connected with it and I sharply inhaled, feeling as if a hundred hammers were pounding on my back. I felt a greasy, dirty piece of rag being stuffed into my mouth.

It was all hazy. All I could hear was the loud pounding of my heart. My brain was becoming foggy. I was totally, utterly lost. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I heard the frantic neighs of Barnaby who was tied to a tree a little ways away. I closed my eyes tightly, willing it all to go away.

Those monsters rummaged through our spot. They kicked at the fire, emptied our bag and famished our supplies. In the time they were distracted I tried rubbing my tied arms against the tree to free them. They were tied by what seemed like a thick cloth. I rubbed and rubbed, trying desperately to free my hands. The wood scratched and bruised my hands. The cuts were bleeding bright crimson. My hands were dripping with blood. I continued, hoping against hope that Èohere detected something and will now be making his way back.

After those beings had eaten all the food that they could find, they picked up their weapons. One of them took out its blunt dagger and moved towards me.

Sheer panic overtook my body. I rubbed my arms harder, the cloth was loose but it would take a bit more time to fully open the binds. I looked around, my eyes wide with fear. Nothing. Not a single thing that could help me. The monster reached towards me. Just as it slashed its dagger downwards I jerked sideways. In my constricted condition, I couldn't move away so well and the edge of the dagger sliced through my left arm. I cried out, pain exploding in my arm. It was not extremely deep but it had sliced through the skin. Blood gushed out of the wound, matting my shirt with my skin. The monster was annoyed and as a result, kicked me sharply in the gut. I felt the air rushing out of my body, blackness erupting around my eyes. It grabbed my hair sharply and yanked me forward. I could see the madness in their eyes. I was tired. I was bruised and bleeding. _I was hurt._ I snapped my eyes shut and dreaded the next slash of the dagger. I had no hope. I knew I couldn't save myself now. 'Maybe it really was the end.' I mused bitterly. What good did it do to come out of Bree? Was I only here to die like this? In that fleeting moment, I regretted my decision more than anything. Why was I so insistent? Why couldn't I be content with what I had? _Just why?_

I felt it raising its arm. My head moved down slightly. In fear or dread, I wasn't sure. Suddenly there was a whooshing sound near my face as if something passed quickly in front of me. I heard more than I saw it, the arrow that saved my life. The monsters cried out aggressively and I was dropped to the ground. I pressed my back against the tree, dreading to see if something even worse was here. What I saw nearly caused me to burst out crying right then and there. Relief washed through my body as I saw Èohere on his horse galloping towards us, his bow stacked on his back and sword in his hand. The monsters due to the distraction moved towards him. I slumped against the tree trying to calm myself down before I realised that it was Èohere against six of the monsters, all attacking him simultaneously. I started rubbing at the loose cloth again, trying to get it to tear. Looking up I saw that Èohere was no longer on his stallion. He slashed and ducked against them. One of the monsters came at him and I saw with a start as Èohere's sword cleaved through its gut. He didn't even bat an eye at killing it before resuming his fight with other monsters. 'It deserved it.' I thought desperately, the modern soul in me was not willing to believe that this world thrived on killing living beings, even if it was a monster it still drew breath. Perilous times, he had said. But it was today I realised the extent of it all.

I pushed these thoughts away. The cloth tore and I didn't wait a moment before opening my leg binds with my ever-trembling hands.

I looked towards the fight and saw Èohere engaging two of the monsters, three were already dead. One was creeping behind him. With my heart in my stomach, I got up, stumbling towards the fire I picked a lone piece of firewood. The monster's back was to me. With all the strength I could muster I swung the wood. It collided with the back of the monster's head. It lost its balance and crashed to the ground. The blow wasn't strong enough to kill or even disable that creature but at least it gave Èohere enough time to slash off the necks of the remaining two. Breathing heavily he walked over to me and the monster that was unsteadily trying to gain his balance. With an angry swing of his sword Èohere chopped off its head. Blood splattered across the ground. I closed my eyes, the smell of blood engulfing my senses. I would've vomited had I not been so completely out of my mind at that moment. Breathing with no little amount of difficulty, I fell onto the ground. All I could think of was the pain. It was everywhere, my arms, my legs, my gut, my hands, my back, my face even my mind. It was consuming me. I didn't know when the tears started to fall, or when my body started to tremble like a thin leaf shaking in a storm. Èohere sat down on one knee and place his hands on my shaking shoulders. I looked up to see him staring at me with pity. I stayed like that for a moment willing the pain to subside. It was too real. It was too dangerous. I had lived my whole life in California. How was I supposed to deal with such murderous monsters? At that moment I missed my home dearly. My heart was aching. I felt my chest constricting at the thought of my life, my family, my friends...They would be devastated if they saw what had just transpired.

I was shaken out of my reverie when I heard the dripping of blood on the ground. Even in my disrupted state, I felt my medical instinct taking over when I saw the gash on Èohere's lower chest. Wiping my tears with shaky hands I inhaled trying to calm my nerves.

"You're bleeding." My voice was croaky as I gestured towards the gash. He looked down and nodded as if to ask me not to worry, that he'll take care of it. I shook my head. I wanted to be helpful. This man had just saved my pathetic life.

"I want to help," I said, clearing my throat in hopes of getting rid of the slight tremble that still existed in my body. At his uncertain expression, I added.

" _I was a surgeon in my world."_ A moment later I realised I had spoken in English.

"I mean, this is what I did back," I drew in a sharp breath, the word seemed to be stuck in my throat. "...back home." I nearly whispered. He nodded and got up, taking hold of his dishevelled bag he moved a few paces until he reached the stream. I followed him and came to sit by the stream. Letting my hands in the cool water, I hissed when the water made contact with the cuts and bruises on my hands. I washed away the dirt, grime and blood from my hands and face. My jaw stung. A bruise was forming on it from when the monster had struck me. I took the needle and thread Èohere offered. I started sewing his wound after cleaning it with water and with the limited amount of paste that he insisted was used for such wounds. I was glad that my hands remembered how to stitch the wound. I was sure that otherwise, I would've messed up in the middle. My trembling subsided when I reached the middle. I squinted my eyes to get a better view as the gash thinned at the end. Breaking off the thread I looked at my work. It wasn't as clean as it would've been with the modern surgical threads but it was neat and precise. Èohere looked extremely surprised at the skill but chose to not delve more deeply. Maybe he saw my broken spirit through my tarnished expression. He gave me the paste to apply on my own wounds. I nodded indicating to him that I wanted to take a bath. He left without another word. Walking towards the still burning flame he sat on a rock facing away from me. The night was dark, the crescent moon giving only a little bit of shine. The stream was a few paces away from our spot. I took off my blood matted clothed and without another thought got into the stream. I inhaled sharply as the water collided with all the cuts and bruised that had formed. The cuts from where the claws had maimed my skin and the gash from where the dagger had broken the flesh. There was a large bruise forming on my back due to the kicks I had received. I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to ride tomorrow. Ridding, suddenly, brought my thoughts towards Barnaby, looking around I was extremely relieved to see that it was tied with Èohere's stallion.

I scrubbed the dirt and blood off my skin. Drying myself, I put the salve, paste and bandages on the wounds and dressed in a clean pair of clothes. I was glad that those monsters had at least not destroyed our clothes. I picked up the remaining medicinal supplies and moved towards the camp. I discarded my destroyed clothes. It wasn't possible to repair all the damage they had attained. Èohere had moved the bodies away from the campsite. As I reached he instructed me to sleep. I looked at him with uncertainty. Were we really supposed to sleep here? What if new monsters came? "They were the last of them, Miss." He said. I nodded and prepared to sleep.

I was tired physically and mentally. I was supposed to fall asleep just as I closed my eyes and yet I kept awake for a long time, my tears wetting the grass.

I woke up to the glaring hotness of the sun. With a start, I realised that it was almost noon and we usually started on the road at dusk. I sat up slowly, the bruises, now an angry black-blue colour, aching horribly. The events of yesterday came rushing back into my mind. I looked around trying to fight with the sinking of my heart. The events of yesterday had implanted a huge effect on me. Thinking that I'll be a bubbly bright person just the next day was not even a funny thought. I needed to get over it, I knew, but it didn't feel as easy as it seemed. The bodies of the orcs were piled up a little way to the west. Èohere was busy roasting something on the flame. I got up. My legs ached. It was difficult to even stand straight with the horrible bruise on my back.

"Miss Lane." Èohere greeted as I came to sit across him after refreshing myself by the stream. I nodded at him. I was quiet and so was he. Uneasiness settled over me. I sussed that a small part of me was dreading that he'll ditch me in the next town or village we came across because it was too dangerous. It was ridiculous to be angry with him if he did so. He had warned me about the dangers but still, I had insisted. I did not know how to use a sword, I was pretty sure no one just learned sword fighting in Modern Earth to protect themselves, I wasn't even sure if there was some sort of recreational course teaching people sword fighting. I was by no means capable to protect myself. If we came across these monsters again, which was more and more likely as we reached the mountains, I was just going to get in Èohere's way, unless... I toyed with the idea. It wasn't impossible to ask Èohere to teach me just until we reach Rohan. When he gets over the initial shock, he might see the use in teaching me. I knew that he also realised the problem it would make if we came across a whole pack of these creatures while I would still be clueless about what to do. I suddenly wished that I could google it.

"Èohere," I said looking at him slightly uncertain. He was busy turning the meat so he cocked his head to show that he was listening. "Teach me how to use a sword!" I said, my tone rushed. His hands froze for a minute moment before he looked up at me. He stared as if to answer something he wasn't sure about. I looked back resolutely, showing that I was absolutely certain in my point. He said nothing for a long moment. The meat sizzled on the flame, a small quantity of fat dripping down while it cooked. He seemed to be pondering. In the last few weeks, I was sure that he knew that something like Medieval propriety didn't bother me a single bit. Even then, it was slightly surprising to me when I saw him seriously considering it.

The meat was cooked, yet I was still waiting for Èohere to say something. He indicated that we eat first. I didn't complain. Last night's events had left me famished and if he needs time to think, I'll give him that.

"Fine, Miss" I jerked at Èohere's sudden voice. After eating he had placed the bones on a leaf and had gone towards the stream while I had cleaned up after myself. I looked at him surprised.

"Although not yet," he continued "when your wounds heal and until we reach Rohan, I shall train you in the art."

I didn't even try to hide my relieved smile.

* * *

The dark of the night had spread. We had travelled only a small distance today, my bruises making the galloping of the horse a real pain. Èohere had made a fire and we had eaten the leftovers of the lunch. I was just getting up to head to sleep when Èohere asked me about my medical skills.

"You know how to stitch with a skill that is beyond those of mere helpers, I would say that you were a very gifted healer, had it not been for your ignorance to medicinal plants and pastes." He had said, "You said that you did this work in your world, may I ask you miss, what was it that you did in your homeworld?" His tone had been genuinely curious.

I had pondered for a moment. Thinking of the best way to explain it. When I told him that this whole paste and salve mixing thing was not done by healers in our day he had been gobsmacked. I tried to explain that the knowledge was too advanced so that they made a whole new profession out of it. He stared at the fire a bit while inhaling his tobacco smoke.

"You are strange Miss Lane", he said a while later, when I was placing the cloth on the floor to sleep "and your world even stranger."

I smiled then, looking at him with a twinkle in my eyes I replied humorously.

"It would not have been the case, had I been born five or more centuries earlier in my own world." He raised his eyebrows in a silent question.

"I mean, my world wasn't always this..." I stopped for a moment, trying to find the right word. "...always this progressive." He willed me to continue.

"A few hundred years before I was born, men in my world lived like people in Bree, I think... aside from orcs and dwarves and elves. They did not exist." I added hastily.

He contemplated what I had just told him. I settled down in my cloth bed.

"Goodnight." I murmured before falling into a tired, aching sleep.

* * *

 ** _To be continued..._**


	9. (PART-I) Chapter 8: Unbelievable

**_Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR._**

 **A/N:** Thanks to all of you who favourited or followed. You all are awesome.

 ** _Winniefawn:_** _I'm glad you liked the chapter! Oh wow, radiologic-technologist...It sounds like an interesting field! Enjoy this chapter too :)_

 ** _Marie0907:_** _I'm glad you liked the chapter. Enjoy this one too :)_

 ** _Narylfiel:_** _Honestly I find conversations harder than anything else. Enjoy this chapter too :)_

 ** _Hope you enjoy! Please RR._**

* * *

 **Chapter 8: Unbelievable.**

'It only has a slight colour.' I frowned as I looked into my reflection in the small pond we had come across. The bruises had nearly vanished in the past nine days since the incident but my back still ached. It should've been fine by now had we not needed to keep moving. Due to the galloping of Barnaby, my muscles had constantly been stressed. Now I was suffering the results in the form of constant cramps. Had I been in California I would've had complete bed rest at least for the few initial days. I would've been constantly pampered. I could only imagine the extreme worry my mother would have felt had I been beaten up like that at home. The condition in Middle-earth was quite different from what I had wished for. It was true that I had suffered numerous cuts and bruises. The tear in my upper arm itched and burned every time I changed the dressing but Èohere had suffered a large gash in his chest and I had been absolutely gobsmacked when he had gone about doing his chores and riding as if it didn't hurt one bit. I wasn't even sure of how many cuts and bruises he had. I would've winced and groaned and thrown tantrums in my own home, but here, after seeing Èohere I was just embarrassed. I was too weak to protect myself. After all, I hadn't exactly needed that much protection back in America. Yes, I carried a pepper spray when I was going to walk, especially in the dark but that was it and I was hundred and one per cent certain that pepper spray wouldn't have exactly done much damage to those monsters.

'Orcs' My thoughts turned bitter. No wonder Èohere had been so angry when he had mentioned their name once. They were despicable creatures. Huge, monstrous, filthy...

Never in my life had I hated a breathing creature more. It was not just the fact that they had hurt me more than I had ever been hurt in my life but the fact that they had made me realise, once again, how much different I was from this world. Èohere had killed them to save my life and yet I was horrified. Even physical abuses weren't allowed in California. _Killing..._ It just left a sore taste in my mouth. I was a doctor for God's sake! This was just the opposite of what I lived for back home. I wasn't unaware of the reality that I had asked Èohere to teach me sword-fighting. In that spur of the moment, I had not cared for anything but my own well being. My own life. But when I gave this matter a little more thought I was horrified to even imagine, for a fleeting moment, that if we come across something akin to that incident, I would've to _kill a being._

I shook myself out of these thoughts. This incident had not as much messed with my body as much as it had with my mind. I was homesick before. But in Bree, sometimes when the work was too hectic or when almost half of the town gathered to chat and there were gossips and laughter and amazing food and pure, genuine happiness, I would forget, even if for a moment, about my home. _Here_ it was a whole different story. In the last ten days, I had wanted nothing more than to run out of this parallel reality. I just wanted to continue my old life. I just wanted to wake up like before, on my soft bed. I wanted to feel the comfort of jeans and T. I wanted to feel the purpose I felt when I wore my dress clothes. I wanted to have those nights out with my friends. I wanted to taste my mother's cooking and wanted to hear my father's long rants about soccer. _Hell,_ I even wanted to hear my sister pestering me.

I closed my eyes desperately. It took a while for me to will my tears to go back. I was tired of crying each darned day. I was tired of it all. This was not who I was. This was not _me._ I just wanted my old life back. _Was it too much to ask?_

I splashed my face once more after I heard Èohere's voice. Letting the damp coolness of the water calm my disturbed thoughts. Walking back towards Barnaby, I swung on top of the saddle. I adjusted myself and squeezed Barnaby's sides so that he started galloping lightly. Even though Èohere had kept the pace low in the past few days, we were nearing the mountains. It seemed that in the next few days we will have to trek our way towards across the misty mountains. From what I could see, this range held up to its name. The huge peaks were covered with snow at the top and grey wisps covered the length of them. The mountains covered almost the whole north-south middle portion of Arda. There was no way we could steer around them unless we went through Isengard. I had asked Èohere about it before and he had been vehemently against the idea of going anywhere near that place. I didn't argue. There was no reason not to trust his decision.

* * *

Barnaby gave a slight jerk that caused me to focus once more on the road. Looking up I saw Èohere smoking pipeweed on his horse. I shook my head in exasperation. Honestly, this man was going to die in the coming few years if he continued to smoke this much. As if sensing my gaze, he looked back and smirked at seeing my expression.

"Something you are worried about, Miss Lane?" I scoffed, turning my head slightly.

"Nothing much," I drawled "just thinking where I shall bury you if by any means you fall dead due to tobacco poisoning." He laughed at this.

"I'm not joking," I humphed slightly, "You can really die due to excessive smoking!" He didn't even pay any heed to my insistence and took a long swig out of his pipe.

"As you say, Miss Lane." He replied and after a moment's hesitation added: " You do have the ability to say the strangest things."

I could feel my eyes shrinking mockingly. Thinking it a lost cause, I gave the back of his head another infuriated glare and fixed my attention onto the rolling scenery, hoping to find something to interest me during the long day.

Three days later we reached Hollin, our last destination before the misty mountains. I was transfixed by the scenery. In my travel from Bree till here I had seen many villages and structures but nothing as outstanding as this. Even though these were only the remains of what seemed to be a glorious city, they were breathtakingly beautiful. There was something strange about the very atmosphere of this place. Somehow it gave vibes of being more nature-friendly, although this term could be applied to the whole atmosphere of middle earth. I was so mesmerised by the place that I didn't even realise when the two days we passed through the city were over. I asked Èohere about this place later on, when we were already beyond the remains of the city and the huge looming mountains were upon us. He told of the elves that resided here. I was quite surprised when he said that elves were immortal and breath-taking creatures. Their existence too pure to be of this world. That they were superior to the race of men. The fictional elves that I knew in California were the small, tiny sized Santa helpers, with large pointy ears and sly expressions. This new knowledge of elves nearly destroyed my conception of them.

'I'll just make new concept when I see them for real. Breath-taking creatures, pssh, as if!' I thought amused. How much different can Middle Earth elves be from Santa's elves? I'll leave it until I meet them to find out.

Èohere stopped the gallop just as we reached a valley at the foot of the mountains. He swung off his horse and motioned for me to do the same. He spent the next hour trying to decrease our travelling baggage, not that it was large initially, as much as he could.

The position of the sun indicated that it was only noon. Why we stopped when we could go on for more than six hours, I had no idea. But if Èohere was doing it... I got off of the horse and assembled my things. I then strapped the bag on my shoulders above my cloak. Èohere looked around the valley for some time, assessing the few different paths that were already present there. I was sitting on a small jutting rock a few paces from him when he motioned me over. I walked over to him and stopped as I reached the start of a seemingly narrow path. It weaved and circled through the peaks and vanished from my field of vision after a few turns. The mountain we were going to climb was huge and rocks bulged out from random places. At the angle, I was standing more than half of the mountain was invisible due to wispy clouds.

"We shall start from this path, Miss Lane. It is going to be a long walk which I can only hope that you have the strength to do so." His tone was slightly mocking. Honestly, what was he, a two year old to want revenge from me? It was true that excessive tobacco could prove fatal. Just because my tone had been offensive... I shook my head faintly. Shifting slightly on my feet, I got ready for the long walk.

Hold on a moment, What the hell? "Are we going to walk!?" I wasn't sure that my voice could get this squeaky even if I try to make it. Èohere looked at me surprised.

"What did you expect?"

"I mean," I said, trying to make him see how impossible it was with our limited supplies. "what will happen to our horses?" Excuses were just coming out of thin air. He stared at me for a moment, as if trying to see that I was serious or not. After a long moment, he said: "They'll find their way, Rohirrim horses are no common breed, our horses know how to find their homes themselves."

 _Was he serious?_ Find their way? What was this, some sort of magical fiction movie? When he raised his eyebrows in silent question I nodded slightly. I was sure that my expression couldn't get more non-believing than it already was. I turned my face, trying not to show Èohere my scoffing expression. After all, the first thing you learn about a Rohirrim person is their bond with their horses.

I looked on vexed as Èohere said something softly, in another language, most probably Rohirric, and set off the horses. I was worried about Barnaby, he wasn't even a pure Rohirric horse. We looked on for a moment as the horses galloped in the opposite direction from ours and vanished across the horizon. Èohere turned his back first, stepping a bit further on the track.

"It is time for us to leave Miss." He said looking back at me. I fought the urge to facepalm myself for thinking that this journey will be as easy throughout.

" _Yay!"_ I said in a monotone, " _I couldn't have wished for a better way to travel._ " Ignoring Èohere's questioning look at my use of English I stepped beside him and started walking along the path. I could basically feel the roll of his eyes behind my back.

* * *

 ** _To be continued..._**

 ** _A/N:_** _I'm so sorry that after so long it is such a tiny chapter with no real development. I have already formed the synopsis for the next chapters and will try my best to write two chapters in the next few days. :)_


	10. (PART-I) Chapter 9: The Journey

**_Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR._**

 **A/N:** Thank you to all who favourited or followed, you guys rock.

 ** _Soso something:_** _Thank you so much! Hope you enjoy this chapter too :)_

 ** _Narylfiel:_** _Yes Another UPDATE! I'm glad you're finding it relatable. Oh really, I've never been backpacking before. It'll be fun, I think. Hope you enjoy this chapter too :)_

 ** _ColdOnePaul:_** _Thank you so much :) You'll have to wait and see what she learns about the Middle-Earth medicinal studies. Hope you enjoy this chapter._

 ** _Winniefawn:_** _I'm glad you like the bits of Modern world scattered about. Hope you enjoy this chapter too :)_

 **The English text in *Speech*conversation* will be in Italics.**

 ** _Enjoy the chapter._**

* * *

 **Chapter 9: The Journey.**

If someone asked me which time of the journey was the hardest, I'll probably answer "The misty mountains". The days we passed through the mountains were probably hell for me. Near the coast, in California, the temperature had never been this cold. The more we went up, the colder it became. At first, I had thought that only peaks were covered with snow but I couldn't have been more wrong. The whole of the mountains was covered with snow, the wispy clouds and the cold biting winds were unbearable.

We had walked the whole week, my feet were supposed to be sore but due to the knee length sheets of snow, they were number than chafed. My clothes were not warm enough for this weather. I had incessantly wrapped myself in the cloak to keep just a little bit of warmth about me. When I couldn't bear enough, I had asked Èohere for an extra shirt. He had given me a scarf to wrap around my face to protect myself from frostbite. The water from the snow was constantly seeping into my leather boots. Even my leggings were soaked up to my knees. I had been continuously shivering. Èohere in an attempt to keep a little warm had driven us to walk all day, only stopping to rest a few hours. Don't even get me started on the way we slept. It wasn't possible to sleep without getting soaked throughout. When we were exceptionally lucky we would come across a few rocks which were not buried under the snow. The food, which was just some old beef jerky, was always cold. Even the water was almost frozen in our bottles.

We had walked for weeks. I didn't keep the count but Èohere told me that it was almost six weeks that took us to pass through the range. six weeks of constant trudging through the freezing winds and cold sheets. In between those days, I had my first sword fighting lesson with Èohere. He had wanted to teach me just as we started our trek through the mountains. I had stalled him for a few days by saying that I will start learning when I get adjusted to my surroundings. Sometimes I had curbed him by totally turning around the conversation or even sometimes pretending that I couldn't hear him due to the winds. Pretty pathetic excuses, but my mind was still not accepting the fact that I might have to kill someone. After successful stalling for eight days, Èohere had had enough. I was munching on the last bit of my jerky when he had dragged me by my wrist to the small area where the snow wasn't that deep.

"What are you doing?" I tried to shake off his arm but the grip was too firm. Halting, he took out his sword and extended it towards me. I took a long look at the sword. Smiling sheepishly, I moved back a few steps.

"Ummm Èohere... I think that it i-" I started but was interrupted by him.

"Miss Lane," he said, his tone hard and gaze cutting "do you want to die? There is no way you can survive, while still wanting to find your answers, in this world, if you don't learn."

"I-" He cut me off again.

"Believe me, Miss Lane, I would never want a woman to learn this, but I do not have a choice when it comes to you. You said you shall find your answers at all costs and I think that to do this you shall have to go about a lot. There won't always be people around to protect you."

I stared at him for a moment. Looking at his cutting gaze, I sharply turned away my eyes.

"I know," I said "but killing living beings was not- is not something I think I can do. It is non-moral." I stopped him by raising my hand when he opened his mouth to say something. "I mean, in my world, we seldom have to protect ourselves. This whole war or whatever," I waved my hands to validate my point "it isn't something we do." I was glad to see even a little bit of understanding dawning in his eyes.

"Still Miss Lane," he said, "you are not in your world anymore, if you want to live the way you want to, you have to do what you deem impossible." I chewed on my bottom lip, playing with his words in my mind.

"But Miss Lane," he said, a slightly rueful smile playing on his lips "you are truly kind if you think to kill those monsters non-moral."

I stared at his sword for a moment. Inhaling sharply, I extended my arm and took hold of the hilt. I drew the sword and spontaneously oomph-ed due to the weight. My wrist bent downward and the sword edge met with the rocks. How was I supposed to fight with this when I couldn't even hold it up? Honestly...

I adjusted my weight on my feet and prepared myself for the long lesson ahead.

* * *

"...no, do not strain your back. Keep your weight divided on your feet, otherwise, it shall decrease your efficiency." Èohere stood in front of me wielding a long knife. Due to the fact that we only had one sword, Èohere had taken the dagger. I had asked him if it was alright for him and that he won't get hurt but he had only laughed it off. I thought that my concern was validated, even if he doesn't get hurt due to a well-placed attack he might get hurt due to some sort of blunder I was sure I'd make. Like the sword could legit fly out of my hand and slash him across the face. I exhaled once more, shifting my weight across my left leg. Again we clashed swords. It was already my fourth week of learning sword fighting. The first day was more embarrassing than any had ever been in my life. I had spent almost half of the practice trying to find the proper way to hold up my sword continuously. Due to its extreme weight, it always slipped down after a few moments. It had taken me more than two weeks to get the hang of the basics. I knew I wasn't suited for this but due to necessity, I had no other choice. Now Èohere was teaching me the best ways to place an attack without taking up too much stamina. I wasn't exactly sure how would I do if I had to fight against a skilled swordsman but I was pretty sure I could defend myself against one or two orcs. My attack power was still extremely low, I just didn't have enough muscle, but I had learned a lot of sneaky defence techniques in the last week to keep myself alive for a while.

I ducked another swing of Èohere's dagger. Shifting my weight towards the left I swung a little towards him and placed an attack on his left arm. He moved back just in time. With a fine movement, he captured my sword and threw it towards the right. A fleeting moment later, I felt the cold sharpness of the dagger pressing lightly against my neck. Looking up my eyes met with Èohere's. He held my startled gaze with his serious one and then moved back a few steps. He took hold of the sword and placed it in its sheath. The first time Èohere had placed a knife on my neck, I had hyperventilated. It had taken me more than thirty minutes to shake off the feeling of dread. This was just too real for me. Learning attacks, slashing, killing... But now, I tried not to give it much thought. Èohere was right, I could either learn this and survive or I could shy away from it all and count the days to my death

"I think it is enough for today Miss Lane." I collapsed on my makeshift bed before he even finished the sentence. We had walked the in the day and practised during the afternoon and night for the past so many weeks. One plus point was the fact that I was too tired to be even affected by the cold wetness of the snow. I adjusted myself in the bed and looked up towards the sky. Even the constellations were different from home. I stared at the crescent moon for a wee while. The only thing that was similar to home was the moon. In my travels, the thing that had comforted me the most was this sight of familiarity. I continued to stare at it, reviewing all the past three months of my life. The last thing I remembered before falling into a tired sleep was the dark reflection of the shiny light on Èohere's face, lost in thought and surrounded by smoke it was.

* * *

We trekked for weeks on end. The scenery changed from the cold white blanket to the dark colours of the rocks and gradually to the brown soil and greens. After almost six weeks the mountains were behind us. Èohere had taken the path that went around the Lorien. We walked for days on the brown plains until we reached the river emerging from the mountains. Crossing it was a troublesome affair. Last time when we had crossed the Mitheithel I was on Barnaby. Its height had contributed to my comfort. I had raised my legs a little above than the foot point and Barnaby had easily ventured across the cold water. But now we had to wade through the river ourselves. It took us almost half an hour to cross it. This river was coming straight from the heights of the misty mountains thus the water was extremely cold. My legs were numb and shaking by the time we reached the other end. My pants and the bottoms of my shirt were soaked in the water. I had asked Èohere if we could stop and change the clothing but he had raised a brow and said that it was the first of many to come.

In the coming days, we passed through the Nimrodel and ventured towards the east of Lórien and away from Fangorn. We walked for two weeks before reaching another but the considerably smaller river, Limlight.

I shook my left foot a little in a lost attempt to reduce the ache that seemed to be rooted in my whole body for the past two months. We had just finished our sword fighting lesson for the day and we're currently setting up the place for our rest. Limlight was only some paces away from our spot. We could've crossed it today but Èohere had insisted that we rest a little more today and continue at the dusk. I had learnt long ago not to question his decisions. I was a mere newbie in Middle-Earth whereas he was a ranger who was extremely aware of the dangers that prevailed here.

I looked around for a moment. The shine of the half moon was illuminating the ground in a silvery hue. Èohere was busy cooking the game on the flickering flame. He sat on a bulging rock near the flame and for once he wasn't smoking himself to his death.

I stretched my arms and back in another lost attempt to calm my tense muscles. What would I do for a fine massage right now...

I moved towards the flame. Taking hold of rock I dragged it near the opposite end of the flame and sat down groaning. Èohere looked up at my face with a half smile before continuing his cooking. It took us forty minutes to be done with the eating and cleaning the place. I went to the river to clean myself up before sleep. I was just setting my bed when Èohere motioned me over to the flame. Slightly surprised I sat on the rock I previously occupied. I directed my questioning gaze towards him.

"It is nothing of importance, Miss Lane," he said, "I thought that it will be sound if we talked for a moment before resting."

I was astonished, to say the least. It wasn't like we didn't speak at all. I was sure that we were more than mere travelling companions. Almost friends, to say. But Èohere seldom wanted to chat, when he did it was only for a moment and even then only asking something he found disturbing or that he was curious about. I smiled slightly, trying to mask my surprised expression under a polite one.

"Hmmm..." I prompted him to continue.

"Nothing really, Miss." I gave a slight laugh. I realised just now that he had been calling me 'Miss Lane' all along. Had it been someone back home the Miss part wouldn't even have started and even if it did, it would've taken only a few hours to drop such honorifics. And here...

"You can drop the Miss, you know."

He looked startled at my abrupt request. "What did you say, Miss Lane?" He sounded unsure. Maybe he thought he hadn't heard me right. Was this request too much according to their standards?

"I mean... we've known each other for almost half a year now and I always call you by your first name." I chewed on my bottom lip, trying to find a way to make him understand without sounding too awkward. "Back home- in my world, people do not usually use such honorifics, especially if you know a person if the person's almost like a friend..." I trailed off seeing his sceptical expression.

"Do women usually befriend men in your world?" I nodded, shifting slightly on the rock. How can people be so closed minded here in Middle-Earth? From what I knew Èohere was extremely open-minded according to their standards. What was I supposed to do if I meet someone who would not even entertain the idea of women outside of their homes... I took out my water bottle and took a large gulp, in efforts to cool off. I was partially embarrassed but the more we talked about my world the more irritated I became due to Èohere's sometimes blatant refusal to accept such things. I was glad that he had accepted the fact that I was to travel with a stranger man and even wearing pants. He had even accepted my will to learn the sword. What if I had encountered another person who would have been scandalized at my pant wearing, sword fighting self... I shuddered at the thought.

"It is truly strange," Èohere continued "but Miss Lane, was your husband not affected that you had male friends?" I spontaneously choked on the water I was drinking. I coughed heavily. After a few long minutes of spluttering like a dying fish, I settled down.

"My husband!?" I croaked. "but I'm still in my twenties." Then I remembered that it was middle earth and people got married in their teens here.

"People do not marry so early in my home," I said, my tone more irritated than I wanted it to be, "you only marry when you find some person you want to share your life with."

Èohere looked at me for a long moment and I stared back at him, not willing to back down. If he had some problem with how I lived my life then it wasn't my headache, but I wasn't exactly going to just sit still and take his scepticism about my culture. He gave a slight smirk at my conspicuous irritation. Raising his arms slightly to show defeat he said in a laughing tone. "I cannot say a thing about your home, Miss Lane, as I said before, it is all just too strange."

"Just drop the Miss." I rolled my eyes. Did he have a multiple personality syndrome or something? One moment he was being cynical about my answers and the next he was laughing it all off like he wasn't even startled in the first place. Was too much weed finally getting to his head.

"As you wish Mi- Lanette." I gave a small laugh at his discomfort. "Fine fine, you can use Lanette if you like."

We sat in comfortable silence for a moment.

"Do you have some family in Rohan?" I asked Èohere a moment later purely curious. His face darkened for a moment. "I mean... aside from your birth family."

"Are you asking if I am married, ...Lanette?"

"I might be," I replied smirking.

"No Mi- Lanette I do not have a family in Rohan." "Aaah" I replied shortly. A moment later he asked himself, "What about you ..Lanette, do you have a family?". I gave him a woeful smile. "I do actually," my tone soft, the memories passing through my mind in a bright haze, "there are four of us-three now if you exclude me." His questioning gaze prompted me to speak further. "There is my father, who always loves talking about his favourite sport but he dots too much on his two daughters, then there's my mother and I can honestly say that her roasted chicken is one of the best I've ever had, she likes to nag, a lot, but now I only miss that nagging." I gave a dry laugh. Èohere was listening attentively, maybe he was making the image, in his mind, of a family he always wanted but never had. "and then I have my sister, she's two years younger than me, last time I asked she had her dream job as an architect," I drew in a breath, "we fight- _used to fight_ a lot, she always seems to be wearing my clothes and using my jewellery." I chucked weakly. I looked at Èohere again. "Honestly I can talk about them all day but I might get too emotional if I do."

Èohere still looked curious but took my answer as a cue to close the topic of my family.

"What about your friends, if you do not mind me asking Mi- Lanette."

I chewed again on my lip, formulating an intro in my mind.

"I have many people I know, _colleagues_ and such, but I have three best friends, four if you include me in our group. It's Nathan, he's also a healer like I am, we've known each other since _elementary school_ ," realising belatedly that I was using English in my speech, I cast an apologetic look towards Èohere and continued, making a silent note not to make such mistake again "we have known each other since we were four years old ...almost, and then there is Julia, she's my best friend, we're that sort of friends who are like sisters in all but blood," Thinking about Julia drifted my thoughts again to my home, I was her Bff and yet I was here when she was supposed to get married in a few months and to none other than my third bestie, Ethan. "and then there is Ethan, he is an _architect_ too, a person who designs the buildings, and he's sort of my sister's role model." Èohere nodded in understanding.

"You seem to have a good family...and friends." I smiled at that, I knew I was lucky to have them all surrounding me. It was also the reason why it hurt so much. Wanting desperately to not delve too deep into my memories, I wasn't sure if I won't cry, I diverted the topic before Èohere could say anything else.

"What do you do for a living?" I blurted out. It wasn't just an attempt to change the topic but I was purely curious. I had travelled with him for so many months and yet I did not know what he did. He looked up from the flame, his expression changed for a moment, but it was too quick for me to decipher what he was feeling.

"I am in the Riddermark, the force of Rohan, but I prefer travelling the world than to stay confined and protect a single place." I nodded to show I understood. He looked a bit surprised at my acceptance but he had to get used to it. I wasn't going to judge what he did, if I didn't like something happening to me I must not do it to someone else, right? Not like it was something worth judging anyone for. What if he wanted to travel than settling down. 'Maybe people in Middle-Earth do not like this idea' I mused mockingly.

My thoughts were disrupted by my own yawn. I stood up and stretched. It was late already and we were supposed to be moving by dusk. I had better sleep or I would regret it later. Saying a sleepy goodbye to Èohere I went towards my bed cloth. I laid on it and before I knew it I was out.

I was shaken awake a little before the dusk by Èohere. After refreshing myself by the riverside, I moved back towards our camp. We had last night's leftovers for breakfast. After that, we cleaned the area and assembled our things. The sun was just rising in an array of orange and pink hues when we started on our way. Crossing the Limlight was an agonising affair. If there was something I hated the most, it was getting my clothes soaked and it seemed that the mother nature was trying to get me over this peeve. Honestly, if I see another river, I'm just dropping Èohere here and taking the far western road.

We waded through the river. After that Èohere did not even wait for a moment before continuing down the road. We walked for almost an hour before Èohere stopped. We were standing on a small grassy hill and there were endless plains before us. The sun was up in all its glory but still, there was a slight chill in the air indicating the early morning. I looked at Èohere startled. I wasn't sure why he had stopped. I won't lie, the view from this small hill was beautiful, if you saw it like that. Endless plains of green grass with the golden rays of sun illuminating the dew. but it wasn't that beautiful for him to stop and stare forever. The view was more breath-taking when we were descending the mountains near the Celebrant.

"Èohere..." I called out his name, maybe he was reminiscing some sort of memories...

He looked at me and gave his trademark smirk, the only difference was that this time his eyes sparkled faintly, maybe in amusement, I wasn't sure.

"Welcome, Miss Lanette, to Rohan, the home of the horse-lords."

'Ah,' I mused, giving him a bright smile in return. It wasn't amusement that caused his eyes to shine... it was pride.

* * *

 ** _To be continued..._**

 ** _A/N: Review if you like the chapter or if you see some mistake._**


	11. (PART-I) Chapter 10: Dunbrough

**_Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR._**

 **A/N:** Thank you to all who favourited or followed, you guys rock.

 ** _Narylfiel:_** _Thank you :) I sure will!_

 ** _WinnieFawn:_** _Thank you so much :) Reviews like yours honestly motivate me to write. I hope you will enjoy her evolving as a character and also her pending adventures._

 _ **I hope you enjoy the chapter! Please R &R.**_

* * *

 **Chapter 10: Dunbrough.**

We trekked our way through the wide plains of Rohan. The scenery changed from the gold grassy plots to the long green grasses and then back again to plain grounds. A few times we came across some cultivated lands and the outskirts of a few villages. Èohere steered clear of any settlement we came across. Maybe he didn't want to draw attention to ourselves or maybe he didn't want to slow our pace down. Whatever the reason was, for the next three weeks as we moved through the East Emnet we didn't stop at any of the few villages we came across. I thought that now we had entered the borders of Rohan Èohere will stop driving us all day but I was so wrong. He kept his fast pace and it felt as though we were covering distance faster every day. We had reached almost half the length of the Emnet when Èohere decided to proceed towards the small plots of cultivated lands towards the West. I was too busy in my own world of thoughts to notice our change of direction until the dark shadows of the village could be seen in the distance.

I squinted my eyes to make sure that I was seeing some village and that it was not some figment of my tired imagination.

"Why are we going in this direction? Wasn't your hometown towards the South East or something..." I trailed off after seeing no inclination from Èohere that he was hearing what I was saying. I peeked towards him once. Was he so lost in thought that he couldn't hear my voice?

He sighed, glancing towards my face "I heard what you said, Lanette."

"Why are you not answering then?"

He raised one brow at my irate tone. "We do not have any more beef jerky. It is hard to find a game in these plains. You do not want us to starve, do you?"

"Why didn't you stop at any of the villages near the Limlight?" I groaned. If I was honest with myself, I was suddenly scared of going into a village. The last time we did was almost two weeks before we started on the misty mountains. I was acutely aware of the fact that I was wearing pants. What will the residents of this place think about a man and women travelling alone? I wasn't this aware of my pant wearing self near Bree. The people there were mostly accepting. And how could they not be? After all the humans, dwarves and hobbits lived together in that place. If those people were not accepting of each other they wouldn't be able to live together. The situation in Rohan was quite different. Èohere had once said that people in Rohan were not even aware of the existence of Hobbits. Elves were the part of folklores there. I was sure that if they're anything like the medieval movies and Tv serials I've watched, they will not be accepting of my modern self. I abruptly wished that I had packed at least one dress with me...Realising belatedly the train of my medieval based thoughts I couldn't help feel disgusted at myself. Not even a year here and I was feeling ashamed of wearing pants. Not even short skirt or a tight modern dress but _pants_. I ran a hand through my messy ponytail at my sudden frustration.

I had once read a short story. In that particular tale, the hero and his family went to inhabit some other place. The hero tries his best to leave for his home but as time passes he gets adapted to his surroundings. He becomes like one of the previous inhabitants and with time forgets about his homeland. When I had read that tale, it had felt like utter nonsense. How could you go to someplace and start living as one of them? How could you feel that your whole a past life is so insignificant that you end up thinking of it just as a figment of your imagination? I knew that I won't forget about my old life but What really scares me was the fact that what if I became a little like the hero. That when the time comes I would not want to go back...

It was because of this reason I was desperately finding any clue that could help me find my way back. I needed to return to my home, back to my old life before I forgot the significance it held.

We passed through the narrow tracks in the fields. From far it seemed as though there was crop growing in this area but as we walked beside the supposed farm only tall grasses could be seen. Even though it was noon, not a single soul was working. After almost two hours we neared the village enough to be able to see the outlines of the houses. They were made of wood, like most the houses in Middle-Earth were. The wooden planks were mostly light brown. The roads, which were synonymous to the dirt tracks in Modern Earth, were scarcely filled. It seemed as though most people preferred to live holed up inside their homes, not at all what I expected of the Rohirrim. Aside from my general nervousness with social contact, I would be lying straight through my teeth if I said that I wasn't at least a little bit curious about their lifestyle. The tales I've heard in Bree spoke of the magnificence of their homeland, of the gallant riders and of their breath-taking horses. Needless to say, I was a bit disappointed at seeing the empty pathways.

We entered the village without passing through a gate. Not like there was a gate or even a guard protecting the entrance. I instinctively moved a bit close to Èohere. Something about this place just seemed distasteful. The few people scattered on the street stared at us unabashedly. What surprised me wasn't their open glares, I was sort of expecting that, but the fact that those were both the stares of curiosity but of suspicion and contempt. A fleeting look of surprise passed through Èohere's face, even he seemed to be startled by their distrust. Without stopping anywhere Èohere moved straight towards the small sign that marked the butcher's shop. A small jingle marked our entrance. The shop was dark even in the bright sunlight. The only light was coming in through the door. The few windows were so musty and crooked in a way that they were rarely opened. The butcher was standing behind the counter. He was a large muscular man. His hair was tied in a small ponytail and his thick beard and moustache mixed with his cold gaze gave a creepy expression. My hand instinctively twitched towards Èohere's dagger strapped to my waist. As if hearing my thoughts Èohere's eyes snapped towards my face. He shook his head once, slightly and I let my hand drop. The butcher's already narrowed eyes wrinkled a bit more. Èohere stepped up to the counter and placed his hands on the wooden surface. Maybe in an attempt to show submission. "We need some beef jerky." He went straight to the point. Throwing another, albeit slightly less suspicious look towards us, without a single word, the butcher turned around and opened a large cabinet behind him. He took out a large stack of dried pieces of jerky and threw them onto the counter. They looked to be about twenty pieces. "Four pieces. Bronze." His voice was harsh in a way that showed it rare use. Èohere rummaged through the side pocket of his travel bag and took out five bronze coins. He placed four of them in front of the butcher and took the beef. He then turned around and left as swiftly as possible. I scrambled behind him still startled by the general behaviour of the people. We walked out of the village without another word. It wasn't until the village was left behind in the form of dark outlines that Èohere spoke up.

"They are quite courteous at most times," I looked at Èohere questioning. He returned my gaze with a small look of his own before staring straight ahead. "The Rohirrim, I meant to say. They are very welcoming people." I snorted in disbelief.

"I was so much more welcomed in my aunt's house after me and my friend thrashed two of her windows," My tone was sarcastic.

"You have the experience to speak, Lanette, that the times are dark in this land." I nodded at that. "Are things that bad here? Like, do orcs attack too often or something."

"It is not just orcs that attack this land, the Rohirrim are tormented. Too long have shadows prevailed in these lands." I looked sideways at his face for a moment. I was curious for more detail but something in the sudden hard lines of Èohere's face stopped me. I made a small noise of agreement and turned my face towards the road.

It was undoubtedly an extremely harsh world to live in...

* * *

We journeyed for another two weeks before we reached Èohere's hometown. The sun was beginning to set when I sighted the tops of the houses in a distance. By the time we reached the main gate of the small town, the dark had already set in. The gate was opened slightly and a few men were sitting beside a small flickering fire, enjoying their meal. At the sound of our footsteps they looked up and in one swift moment, their swords were in their hands. I flinched at the sharp sound of clanging metal. One of them stepped forward and in a loud booming voice said something. I was racking my mind to understand what seemed like nonsense coming out of his mouth when Èohere raised his hand slightly in greeting. He replied something in the same strange language and drew back his hood. His cropped golden hair was messed up from the hood. And just as fast as they had drawn the swords, they placed them back in their sheaths. A moment later they all were embracing Èohere and commenting something, which I couldn't possibly understand, in their rowdy voices. One of the men said something and all of them spontaneously cracked up into loud laughs. I shrunk back into my cloak. It was such a contrast to the village we had gone into two weeks ago. Now I can tell where the folklores were derived from. I shifted awkwardly in my feet and it drew the attention of Èohere back to me.

"I beg your pardon Lanette," he beckoned me forward. Even though his words were of apology for his negligence, his tone and expression showed that he didn't care enough to spoil his good mood. He said something to the men in his language as I came to stand beside him. The men looked startled and asked him something urgently. He replied with a loud laugh and what seemed like a humorous comment and had the men raising their eyebrows. Large grins were directed towards him. Just when I was getting irate at their blatant use of a language I couldn't understand they turned towards me. All of them had identical polite smiles and mildly curious stares.

"Welcome to Dunbourn Lady..." The one speaking looked at Èohere for elaboration. I raised a brow at this. "Lanette," I supplied before Èohere had a chance to say anything. A little sheepish expression passed through his face. He cleared his throat and spoke again in his accented Westron.

"We welcome you to Dunbourn Lady Lanette, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance." One peek at Èohere showed his twitching lips. This whole ordeal seemed to be funny to him. In any other situation, I would've corrected their use of lady, as I was quite obviously not one, but just because it was what Èohere was expecting I squashed my desire and smiled politely in return.

"The pleasure is all mine," I indicated my head in respect. With an amused look towards me, Èohere said something to the men again in Rohirric and they nodded. All except for one went back to their post and we walked into the town.

The houses here were also made up of wood. It was considerably larger with many paths diverging from the main road. All the houses were in the side paths, while the central road seemed to be reserved for shops and inns. A large wooden building marked the town hall, besides which a large stable was filled with horses. The mark of a true Rohirric town. The area seemed to be bustling with life, quite contrary to my previous experience. People stopped and hurled their greetings to Èohere in loud Rohirric. Almost all of them stopped to stare towards me with curiosity. Some gazes even astonished. A few of them greeted me too, and although I couldn't understand them I nodded in return and smiled politely. We move towards a side path. After passing almost five houses we came across a mediocre sized house. Èohere took the key from the man that had followed us and bid him farewell. The door slid open with a faint creak. Inside it were only three main rooms. Two had cots in them and one had a large wooden tub, most probably for bathing purposes. The main room had a wooden table with four chairs and it was connected to a small rectangular area in which a hearth could be seen. Èohere pointed towards the room assigned to me, went to his own and closed the door. I stood for a moment in the doorway of, what was going to be, if only for a while, my room. It was simply designed with one wooden cot at the window side. The wooden cupboard was placed near the wall opposite to the door. There was a small oval shaped mat placed in the middle of the room. It was simple but comfy. After months of travel, even that cot seemed like pure heaven. I wasn't sure if Èohere was going to set something up for our dinner. Just to get a taste of how it felt to lay down on a cot after so long, I dropped my bag at the door side, moving tiredly across the room I collapsed in the cot. It wasn't long before I fell into the dark abyss of sleep.

* * *

A week passed in what seemed like a moment. The comfort of a bed, good food and bath were so relishing able that I would've spent most of my time enjoying these pleasures if Èohere had not asked a town woman to give me company. The first day she had brought with her four simple cotton dresses, all in pale colours and had revolutionised my entire closet. Almost by noon, every day, she came across the house and took me to show about the town. But mostly I found myself getting dragged into the stables and chatting with Grimwyn, the woman, in her extremely broken Westron. Today seemed like an exception, though. It was way past noon and there was no sign of her arrival. I had waited for a while but had shrugged it off quickly. After all, no one was free enough to donate all their time to a stranger. She might be busy with something. It was almost dark. I was sitting in the main room with one of Èohere's many books in my hands. I was quite engrossed with the story so I nearly jumped out of my skin when I heard a knock at the door. Thinking that it might be Grimwyn, I moved towards the door to open it. What greeted my sight was a large war horse and the man riding it. The horse was magnificent, a huge grey stallion, it's muscles rippling behind the skin. The man on the horse was a bit old but was wearing heavy looking metal armour. The setting sun glinted on its polished surface and contributed to its shine. I didn't know at that time, but one day I was going to look at the sea of such armours and contrary to the bewildered emotions I was feeling at that moment, I was going to feel relief and thankfulness. It wasn't that significant a moment, just some warrior came to discuss matters with Èohere, who was out at the stables, but later on, I would look back into this moment and feel as though it was the key to the start of the most exalting adventure I could've come across.

* * *

 ** _To be continued..._**


	12. (PART-I) Chapter 11: The Decision

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR.**

 ** _A/N:_** _Let me just take a moment to say sorry to all the dear readers. I was so busy with tests and schedules that I couldn't find enough time to post this chapter. I sincerely thank you all for waiting patiently._

 _And to all of you who favourited or followed, I thank you. You guys rock._

 _ **Winnie Fawn:**_ _Thank you again for the awesome review. I wasn't sure how to incorporate the changes she was feeling in the story so I decided to keep it blatant. In my opinion, it will make the story more interesting when she realises that she is changing to fit into ME but still tries to hold onto her old self. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well. Your reviews are always appreciated! :)_

 _ **Narylfiel:**_ _Thank you so much! I was not that sure about the ending but now that you expressed that you like it I might just change my mind. Hope you enjoy this chapter as well :)_

 _ **Marie0905:**_ _Thank you so much! I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I hope you also find this chapter well written :)_

 ** _I hope you all enjoy the chapter! Please R &R._**

* * *

 **Chapter11: The Unexpected Decision.**

I stared blatantly at the man. Just as he opened his mouth to ask something, maybe about Èohere, I saw the said man approaching the house from the corner of my eyes. I pointed back towards Èohere while looking at the guest, "I think that's the man you want." He raised his pointed brow at my informality. Maybe I should try to adopt the medieval style of speaking. I was getting tired of raised brows every time I opened my mouth. The only thing that felt different to me was my habit of using shortened expressions but it seemed to make a big difference to the Rohirrim.

The man in question gave another, slightly astonished look towards me and turned to the direction in which my finger pointed. I saw Èohere halt his steps for a fleeting moment at seeing the man. He continued before it was too noticeable. I couldn't see his face clearly from a distance but I had this feeling that the lines of his face had grown grim. I moved into the house and into my room just as Èohere neared enough to greet the man. Even though I had travelled together with Èohere for many months, we were only familiar with the basics of each other's life. Judging by his expression this had felt like something personal.

My thoughts were confirmed a moment later by the two pairs of footsteps moving into the house and then into Èohere's room. The door shut behind them with a crisp click.

I leaned against the closed door. My gaze swept into the room in search of the book I was reading. I cursed softly when I realised that I had left it the small coffee table. I strained my ears to hear any sounds from outside. I didn't feel like going out and coming face to face with that guest. Most importantly I didn't feel like bearing up with the awkward moment of silence and the hasty intros that will undoubtedly follow such an encounter. I waited for another long moment before briskly opening the door. I swiftly moved across the common room. I crunched the desire to eavesdrop when I heard their muffled voices through the thin walls and took the novel. I was just shutting the door to my room when I heard them coming out of the room. There was a short pause in their conversation at the click of my door. I scrunched up my face at the awkwardness that seemed to seep through the walls and clutch at my heart. It was already tense between me and Èohere. I hadn't known why at the start but everything made sense when some shopkeeper had asked me if we were married. I had spluttered indignantly at the question and had denied it strongly not realising the implications that could be made from my words. I was living in the home of an increasingly wanted bachelor of the village, also of the Meduseld, if I took the gossips of the women seriously, and was not married to him. Neither of us had given much thought to the matter when we had first started off and now our ignorance was coming to bite us in the back.

I groaned softly. Honestly, my life in Middle-Earth had started to seem too much like a drama. I shook myself out of the stupor as their voices sounded again. They were talking fast in Rohirric. Èohere's tone was strained but with a bit of steel in it. Whatever was the news, it seemed that Èohere didn't like it one bit. I heard the voices fading as they moved out of the house. A few minutes later he came back inside. I had this small urge of going out and asking what the man had wanted. But it wasn't related to me and it was Èohere's personal life. I had no right to just go out and demand answers from him, even if I was dying of curiosity. I bit my lip and strained my hand around the leather binding of the book. After another reminder to myself about minding my own business, I moved towards the small wooden chair to complete the few ending chapters of the book that I was reading.

* * *

A few days passed quietly before Èohere spoke of the encounter. We were sitting around the small wooden table eating meat and gravy with two different assortment of breads. After that man had gone, Èohere had started spending more of his time locked up in his room. In those slight moments when I got a few peeks at his room to call him for his meal or some other important matter, his room had looked a complete mess. His books, novels, maps and scrolls scattered about the place. Him going through the texts with his full concentration. It looked like he was searching for something. But me being the wanna-be-neutral person I am didn't ask him about it. If he wanted to talk, then he will, sooner or later. Although on a second thought it came more sooner than I had anticipated.

As I mentioned, we were sitting in the common room enjoying our better than usual meal. We ate quite a bit, I stacked the plates and moved to stand up but Èohere's hand on my wrist stopped me. He gestured once towards the chair I was sitting in previously and pushed the dishes towards the other end of the table.

"Please sit, Lanette." his tone was a bit strained "we have to talk." Now don't get me wrong, but when someone says 'we need to talk' it doesn't just mean that it is something more like 'sit, I need to explain why to kick you out' or 'maybe you should leave now' or maybe even 'I'm not that charitable person that I seem'. Needless to say, my back tensed automatically at his words. I cleared my throat.

"What's the problem?"

"I am called back to my duty, in Meduseld, I have to leave in a few days." I straightened up at that. Going to Meduseld? Looks like nature itself wanted me to find the answers.

"That's good then!" I clapped my hands once and tied them in front of my chest. "I'll prepare for us to leave." Maybe if I hadn't been so excited I would've noticed Èohere's increasingly troubled expression and prepared myself for the worst.

"Lanette," he said. His tone was quiet, indecipherable. "This is the end of our travels together."

I felt like I had been buzzed with an electric rod. If I had been standing right then, I would have crashed on the wooden floor. My brain took a moment to process his words.

If I had to guess my own expression at that instant, it would've been impossible. Countless emotions flooded my brain and I knew that my face showed all of those feelings. I wasn't sure if I could've felt disbelief, anger, hurt, and dark fear clawing simultaneously inside my heart. "What do you mean? I- what, why!" I gave a non-believing borderline hysterical laugh.

"You took it the wrong way, Lanette," Èohere's tone was passive "let me explain." My eyes strayed to his raised hands and I snorted in disbelief. I took a sharp breath, my eyes falling on my white-knuckled hands that were gripping the wooden table a tad bit too hard. I could feel the micro splinters itching on my skin.

He took my silence as a cue for continuation.

"I have received the summons from Meduseld, and I shall be leaving in less than a week. You wanted to go to the golden hall to search for your answers but I find it more sensible if you try your chances in Gondor first." He stopped and stared at me for a while as if asking for my approval to continue. He looked away when I remained stoic. "Rohirrim aren't the people you seek for literature, nor do we pride ourselves on breeding the best scholars. You could travel with me to the Golden Hall and search for your answers but I feel as though it will be futile and nothing but the waste of your time. Gondorians, no matter how stuck up courtiers they might be, are the descendants of Numerons, straight from the house of elves. If you have any chance of finding knowledge as deep and scarce it is in the Great libraries of the old kings. In Meduseld you shall only find books on Rohirric knowledge and our great breeds. Even if you find a great piece, it'll be in Rohirrim and you would not be able to fathom it." I processed the information. Even though I hated to admit, his argument was solid.

"Look, Lanette," he leaned forward on his elbows, the lines of his face softening under the candlelight, "if I had it my way I would have taken you with me. After months I feel responsible for your safety. But even though I want to keep you safe, It is not in my heart to keep you from the family you yearn for. From the friends who are as important to you as the fragments of your own heart." I looked at him then. In such dim lights and if I pretended long enough, I felt as I could see Nick sitting in front of me, counselling me like old times whenever I needed him. I closed my eyes and sighed shortly. I knew that he had a point. I knew he was right but it was hard, hard for me to just go on jumping from one acquaintance in Middle-Earth to another. Every time I left another person behind, it felt as though I was again on that dirt track wearing my jeans and dress shirt, struggling to find my way out of that abandoned area. In a last feeble attempt at retaliation, I said: "Shouldn't it be my choice to make?" Èohere cracked a smile at that, the same trademark smirk he always showed. "I am giving you a choice, go with me to Meduseld or leave for Gondor, choose what you may and I shall be with you in your decision."

I stared at the table as I had nothing more to contribute to the conversation. Èohere studied my face for a long while and then stood up. The chair made a shrieking sound as it moved away. He stretched his arms over his head.

"Do you have any idea about what choice I shall make?" I said as I stood up, ready to retire myself.

"I do not just have the idea, I am pretty sure about your impending decision. After all, Lady Lanette you have never been the one to step down from a decision that is right, no matter how perilous it may seem." I wasn't sure how to take that compliment, so I joked "You seem quite insistent to get rid of me." I had meant that as a joke and could not have suspected the serious look he gave me in return.

"That might just be the last thing that I want." Looking at the serious yet soft expression on his face I wasn't even surprised to find that I felt exactly the same.

* * *

The next three days passed in a blur. Èohere was mostly busy in arranging some important documents and collecting supplies. It looked like he was going to stay in Meduseld for a long time. Grimwyn, after hearing the news, took it upon herself to prepare me for the life in Gondor. She packed a few new dresses, three made up of cotton and one silk, plain but considerably fancy to be worn on better occasions. I wanted to wear pants during the travel but Grimwyn had been strictly against the idea. According to her the people in Gondor weren't as unbiased as the Rohirrim and considering that I hadn't felt the open-mindedness of the Rohirrim, I was scared to meet the people of Gondor. Their women must lead their lives holed up in their rooms making embroidered dresses for the many functions. I had just gone along with everything Grimwyn said just so it wouldn't cause problems for me later on. Although two pairs of my pants and shirts, I had packed under the dresses without her knowledge. After all, I wasn't going to stay in Gondor forever.

Yesterday I was busy setting the dinner when Èohere had come out of his room with a wrapped roll of leather. He extended the package towards me. I wiped my hands on a kitchen towel and moved to take the cloth. The roll opened to show a gleaming metal cover of a sword. I looked at him questioning.

"I found this blade in a cave during my travels. Far north of here." He moved around the table, pulled out the chair and sat on it. The wooden chair creaked under his weight. "It is of elven make, light on the hands but sharp on the foes."

"And so you think that I will be able to use a sword in Gondor?" I snorted incredulously.

"I feel that you would not be staying in Gondor for long," he gave me a pointed look over his cup of water. "You should keep the sword hidden, but near yourself. I would have liked if you learned it a bit more but now it depends on how you utilise it to your advantage." He took another large gulp from the cup and wiped the small beads of sweat from his forehead.

"If the need ever arises." He added as an afterthought.

I sighed inaudibly. I drew the sword and took a long look at it. The silver of the blade gleamed under the dilute rays of the setting sun. The intricate design showed it's remarkable craftsmanship. After turning it over a few times, I put it back in the sheath. I placed it on the kitchen counter and joined Èohere for dinner.

* * *

We left for our journeys together. Èohere insisted on taking me to the outskirts of the next village himself before leaving for Meduseld. He had an acquaintance there, a lady who worked in Gondor and would be leaving Rohan tomorrow. He had given me a tied letter to give to that woman. He said that it'll explain everything and I won't be troubled as much.

Much to my disappointment, I wasn't going to travel on a horse on my way to Gondor. I was supposed to be moving with the caravan and women rode carriages in such situations. I had to cut seven inches of the sides of my dress so that it won't ride up much when I rode the horse behind Èohere.

The journey wasn't that long. We left at dusk and reached the village a little before noon. Èohere slowed the stallion to a trot when we came close enough to see the tops of the houses. He pulled at the rein of his stallion, stopping its walk effectively. I swung down from the horse as graciously as possible with my new dress. Èohere followed after me. I unbuckled my bag from the saddle and swung it over my shoulder. Patting the under pockets of my dress to make sure that I hadn't dropped the letter, I turned to face Èohere. If there was something that I always felt awkward with, then it was saying goodbye to someone, knowing that this goodbye will surely be for long period of time maybe even the whole eternity. I met his eyes and smiled softly. I inclined my head slightly in an effort to show polite thanks or ever-growing respect, I wasn't sure.

"It is the end." I said, crushing my lips together, "thank you Èohere, for all that you did for me." I could only hope that my tone conveyed my sincerest feelings.

"It was nothing, Lanette," he bowed at his waist making this already unsteady moment more tricky with medieval clichés. He continued after he straightened "but as I have already helped you reach here, I hope to one day hear that this one lady Lanette remained successful in finding her answers." I smiled at that.

"And Miss Lanette, do not tell your predicament to anyone unless you grow to really trust them. Not anyone will accept your word as I have."

I nodded at that. I had also given this a lot of thought. Right now, what seemed like the best solution was to say that I lived in Bree or something. Although I was uncomfortable with lying about my whole life, I had to think of what will benefit me or what will cause problems for me at present. And God knows how much problems will arise if they consider me a lying sorceress or some enemy spy of some sort. I shivered at the thought.

Èohere turned to look at the Sun's position. It was noon and estimating from the distance he needed to travel, he had to make haste.

"It is the moment of goodbye, Lanette," he turned around saying "for now at least."

I moved forward to hug him. Judging from the initial tense shoulders, he wasn't expecting this. Couldn't blame him though, with their customs and such. He returned the hug for a moment. We broke away. I inclined my head formally. He put his open hand over his chest and gave a semi-bow. There was so much that I wanted to say. Just the simple things like eat well, rest well, stay out of danger, but at that particular moment I couldn't even open my mouth to utter a single "bye".

He swung himself on the saddle, took the reins to stabilise the stallion. He gave me a long look. From his expression, it felt as though he was also struggling to say something. In the end, he gave me his trademark smirk, raised one hand and snapped the reins.

I stood there only for a small while as his back moved away at a fast pace. It wasn't until I could only see a reflection of him that I felt myself uttering "Goodbye."

I shook my head, smiling at my own tongue-tied moment and then turned to take on my whole new obstacle.

Little did I know that it was the first of many many more to come.

* * *

 ** _To be continued..._**


	13. (PART-I) Chapter 12: Another Beginning

**_Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR._**

 ** _A/N:_** _Thank you again to all the dear readers. To all those who favourited or followed the story, I present my huge thanks. You guys rock!_

 _ **WinnieFawn:**_ _Thank you for the awesome feedback. I hope you enjoy this chapter too. Btw "goodbye is a terrible loss when you don't have that many people to say it to in the first place..." might just become a quote in this story, if that's alright with you._

 _ **Narylfiel:**_ _Glad to be back again :) Thank you for the undying support. Hope you enjoy this chapter too :)_

 _ **LightCDark:**_ _It's always nice to see more people reading and reviewing. I'm glad that you like the story. I'm still paving the way to the main plot so hope you enjoy to the end. Enjoy the chapter :)_

 _ **Dinloth:**_ _Thank you so much. Your review really put me in a good mood. I hope that you enjoy this chapter too :)_

 _ **To all the readers,**_

 _ **Enjoy the Chapter! R &R.**_

* * *

 **Chapter 12: Another Beginning.**

The dry glass glowed golden in the bright hues of the sun. The pleasant scenery along with the balmy breeze of the late summer had a serene effect on the mind. This particular village that I was approaching was a lot smaller than Èohere's but there were acres of farms spread out around it. The village itself was all wood. Even the largest building, most probably the central hall, was made of planks of light oak. I walked for a while, taking my time in reaching the destination. Unlike many other areas, this distinct settlement had no boundaries. No gates to mark the start. Just suddenly the wheat crops ended and the houses began. I wished to say that the town was bursting with life and laughter but it was not. There were only a few people going on about their business, others were probably working in the fields I reasoned. I looked around for a moment to see if there was someone I could ask for help. A few houses away three women stood chatting, baskets of supplies hanging on their arms. There were short giggles of laughter at a few intervals. Tapping the inner pocket of my dress to make sure that I hadn't dropped the letter, I took a long breath and moved towards the women with purpose in my step. They quietened and turned to stare at me just as I stopped beside them. After muttering a few awkward pleasantries I asked them about the location of Èhara, the woman I was searching for. For a moment their eyes showed startled expressions but it was easily covered up once again with pretty smiles although this time with slightly bitter quirk of their lips. That made me realise that this woman I was searching for was yet another outcast. The villagers didn't accept her which made me doubt her utility but as Èohere had told me of her I couldn't complain. It was better to trust his decision. After getting the directions I nodded my head in thanks and went along the path. The houses in this track were a few and considerably smaller ones. They had told me to see the one with black iron ring at front, which by the way was a totally useless explanation as all of the houses seemed to have black rings for knocking. I tried my luck at the second house. The door was opened a moment later by a withering old grandma. Not a pleasant grandma though. Her expression was one of annoyance and distrust seemed to be deeply rooted in those black orbs. The frown on her face added a few more years to her sharp features.

"Are you Èhara-"

"The fourth house on your right." And the door was slammed on my face.

I muttered a hesitant thank you and moved towards the specified house. It was similar to all the others in the lane. Small with probably two rooms and single story. The entire house was built with rough boards of light brown wood. I knocked at the door and waited. Again the door was opened by a woman. This time maybe in her early thirties. Her corn hair pulled back and tied in half. Those doe eyes stared at me curiously. After an initial shy smile, I asked "Miss Èhara?"

She straightened and nodded. "Yes, what can I help you with M'lady?"

I placed my bag on the step and took out the letter from my pocket. Without delay, I extended it towards her. She took one look at the letter and seemed to recognise who wrote it, which made her even more surprised. She took it from my grasp and after sparing another indecipherable look towards me opened the fold. It took her only a few moments to read the note, an indication of her good education. She folded it once more albeit a little slowly this time and moved away from the door.

"Come in, Lady Lanette." She called over her shoulder with a smile. I stalled for a moment, her smile had seemed too forced. Surely Èohere had something on this woman because I could tell that I wasn't welcome here and yet as an act of courtesy she had invited me in. Plastering a small polite smile on my face I grabbed my bag and moved in behind her. She took me to a small room and told me to freshen up in the small bathroom beside it. Then she left me without another moment of pause. I stood still, taking in my surroundings. Finding nothing out of ordinary I moved towards the bath in hopes to rein in my increasing discomfort at my parting with Èohere.

I was washing my face in the small basin when I realised that I had to make a story about my past to make this woman believe me enough to let me tag along, and a pretty probable one at that. I went over all of the little information I had gathered about the life in Middle-Earth. My mind raced with all the possible scenarios I could make and searched for the best one. I was wringing my hands dry on the small towel and solidifying the last of my story when Èhara called me from the common room. I took a sharp breath and slapped lightly at my face to loosen up a little, trying my best to quench my guilt at lying to someone who was going to help me. After a last reminder to myself about the delicacy of the situation, I went into the said room, the confidence in my step surprising to my own self.

We ate in silence for a while. The small wooden table was covered with dishes and plates. The food was simple, as Èhara was obviously not expecting company. But still, it was better than the meals we had on the road in the last few months. There were fresh, soft pieces of sesame bread. A small platter of cream and cooked vegetables with a small bottle of honey. I ate with fervour. After being on road since dawn it was my first meal and a delicious one at that. I took another piece of bread from the basket and placed a small heap of braised vegetables on my plate. Èhara cleared her throat and took a large gulp of mead.

"I offer you my condolences." I looked up at her with surprise, which she took as the consent to continue her talk.

"You are a brave person to continue to fend for yourself, m'lady, even after such tragedy occurred to your family." I swallowed the remaining pieces of the bread and nodded a little uncomfortably. If Èohere was going to make up a story about my past then he should've at least told me. Things could get messy if he had explained one thing and I said another. Looking at Èhara again I found her waiting for my reply.

"Thank you." I said, my voice a little croaky, "I wished to explain it all to you myself but it looks like Èohere already has." I gave her a weak smile.

She maybe took it as criticism towards him and I was definitely surprised to see her jumping in to defend the said man. "No M'lady, it was not Lord Èohere's intention to anger you. He did not tell me anything except for the fact that your family was slaughtered in an orc raid and now you have to adopt a job to fend for yourself!" _Lord Èohere?_ I nearly choked on the water. Looking at her, I nodded once again. Èhara could be easily deciphered, as she had the tendency to display all of her emotions on her face. She was looking at me with a crease in her brow, seemingly contemplating whether to ask me what was on the tip of her tongue or not.

"But how can a lady such as yourself work in the household of another, and as a maid nonetheless." Her voice was light when she made her comment, her eyes zeroed on my face to gauge my expression.

"I'm hardly a lady, Èhara, you can comfortably address me by my name." I passed her an amused smile.

"You are not a lady? M'lady." I shook my head slowly. Did Èohere also write about me being a lady? I resisted the urge to groan.

"My apologies m'lady, your mannerisms are too refined and the way you hold yourself highly, anyone will deduce the same." I only gave an airy chuckle at that. If only she knew all of my mannerisms...

"Just address me as Lane." I said firmly and got up to assemble the plates. As I moved towards the small sink to stack the dishes I was sure I heard her mutter 'What a strange name' under her breath. I smirked slightly, hoping with half an heart that my modern mannerisms won't cause trouble with my to-be-new bosses.

* * *

We started our journey towards Gondor with a small pack of travellers. They were going to pass through the front of the village without cessation. Èhara looked harassed as she tried simultaneously to clean and lock up the house and pack her bags for her journey and stay. Nevertheless we were ready soon enough to join the small party as it moved away from the village. There were a total of six people aside from me and Èhara. Two women, three men and one small girl, not older than ten at any rate. The men rode on their horses and we women adjusted, with no little difficulty, into the sole cart. I would've preferred infinitely to ride a horse or to just walk all the way but giving up in the face of propriety I shut myself up and sat with the women. The journey was long and took us almost four weeks to reach anywhere near Minas Tirith. The jaunt was mostly bleak, without any remarkable incident. On one occasion the women had asked me about my husband, not that there was a husband to tell them of. I wasn't surprised to see their startled and distrustful glances when I told them of my lack of a partner. Even with my story of the loss of my family in my prime and having to work hard for my self did not work to decrease their pensive moods. It was bordering on unbearable for me. On many instances I wanted to just drop the act and give them a long lecture on the virtues of work and responsibilities that these women seemed to lack. I wanted to tell them that there was so much more to life than sitting around being pretty every day just so you could have a good husband when you hit your twenties but knowing that they would think me not right in mind if I tried this, I just rolled my eyes once and settled to look out towards the changing surroundings. Things were tense between me and the party and I couldn't seem to achieve any sort of friendship with Èhara. I hoped day in and out that we reach our destination safely but a little faster and that I won't have problems with the people there. But this sinking feeling in my gut made me register once more that things were easy for me when I came to Middle-Earth. First I had Raforta and Butterbur to help me and then I had Èohere as an awesome companion but now I needed to work and prove my place myself if I wanted someone to trust me. Everyday I thought about how it would've been different had I just opted for comfort and gone with Èohere, and everyday such thoughts caused my heart to sink a bit more. I thought about going back so many times. It wasn't until I could see the huge, tall structure of Minas Tirith looming as a shadow in the distance and the vast plains of Pelennor surrounding it that I realised that I had come too far to go back.

It took us three more days to reach the front gate of Minas Tirith. I had seen many huge and spectacular structures back home but never in my life had I heard of a whole city situated on seven levels. The structure was large enough that it could be seen days before even arriving at the front gate. Huge white marbles constituted in its making. The rays of the sun glinted off of the polished marble giving it even more majestic glow. I looked on with awe as we neared the front gate. It was a huge and heavy structure that seemed to take an entire force to open. There were platoons of soldiers surrounding the entire parameter, their size looking bulkier in their silver armour and chainmail.

"Magnificent, is it not," said Braihūr, one of the men that had accompanied us. I startled to attention at his sudden voice, my eyes snapping towards his face. Noticing belatedly that my mouth had been slightly open for a while now, I cleared my throat and managed a small yes, still in reverence of my surroundings. The creases of his face lightened as he looked on towards his home, making him look considerably younger. The guards stopped us at the gate for only a moment as they exchanged greetings with everyone. Their eyes lingered at my new face and I gave them a small polite smile. One of the guards flicked his hand and a loud creaking sound was heard. The door opened at a slow pace and we were greeted by the hustle and bustle of the city.

We continued moving through the curved roads, twisting and turning to reach the upper levels. It wasn't an easy task to be honest, the bustling crowds on the pleasantly breezy day, halted the roads, the vendors and shops bursting with life and the market brimming with masses. In addition to the horde, the perimeter of the city was also huge, it took a long time to travel through one level to reach the next. There were gates marking the start of each level and as we continued upwards the security got more tense. I later found out that the levels increased with the swell of the classes. The commoner crowd and the markets inhabited the first three levels. The next two with considerably less mass and more posh houses. Our destination was the sixth level, which surprised me for a moment because it would only make it easier for me to have access to the king's library on the seventh level, if our Lord was an influential one. We were stopped at the sixth gate and the guards moved about our cart and checked all the belongings. For a fleeting moment I feared that they will find the sword I had in my bag and sighed in relief as they nodded and the gate was opened indicating us to move on. This level was all chic and deluxe. Huge marble houses were on the left of the boundary wall. Their balconies over shadowing the porches. The large wired gates giving peeks of lavish gardens and beautifully carved entrances. I craned my neck over the side of the cart to get a closer look at the stately houses. The path moving through this level was wider than the previous ones and much more cleaner. There were only a few maids and servants moving about carrying basket or supplies. Looking at them made me wonder if I'll do well in my pending job. I wasn't used to taking orders. Being a surgeon ensured that I always had to find the solution and offer my opinion which was seldom rejected and was always followed on by the interns. I hoped again and again that the owners of the mansion were passive enough to not be bullies because if it came down to that then I didn't know if I would keep my pride and independence buried inside.

We moved on the smooth marble roads until we reached a considerably wider mansion at the middle of the sixth level. The outside of the house was light coloured marble like all of its counterparts. A large black iron gate was barred. One could easily see the lawn from the gaps between the iron rods. This house reminded me of all those large manors we could see on he TV which had those curved and carved gates that could easily be breeched. I never understood why they had such huge gaps in the gates. It was like inviting the thieves to raid their house and these particular ones didn't even have CCTV or electronic alarm system. The gates were opened by the sole guard standing on the inside. He tipped his head as a greeting towards Braihūr and the other men. Then he looked back towards the youngest member of our company and gave a cheerful wave to the young girl. His eyebrow creased for a moment as he took in my presence but then he turned around to do his duty once again. I tried to not show my nerves. If everyone was going to have such a reaction to me when I hadn't even opened my mouth I was not ecstatic to learn what they'll think of the modern mannerisms that seemed rooted deep into my self.

The garden was a total luxury, vines twisted over the boundary walls, weaving and turning, spreading in intricate patterns over the wall. The flower beds bursting with delicate flowers. I loved the way rose bushes spread out along the whole length of the lawn. The grass was lush green and the plants finely trimmed. Seeing roses growing in all their glory brought a smile to my face. The apartment complex I had resided back home had a large frontal lawn. Our gardener had tried his all to find some way to grow roses there but all in vain. It was hilarious to see him caught up in fights with others whenever someone talked about the utility of roses and what a pity it was that he couldn't grow them. Not that it was his fault, the soil inspection team had explained that there was a certain particle in the soil because of which a few species couldn't be grown but Tom, the gardener had never been over that fact. I shook my head, suppressing my smile and focused on my surroundings again.

The front entrance rose up to two steps and then led to a large polished wooden door. Even from afar one could tell that it was the wood of highest quality. We got out of the cart at the entrance and then moved along the slightly narrow stoned path between the mansion and the garden towards the back of the house. The manor was huge, which surprised me as I wasn't sure how large the closed city could've been to accommodate such houses. The fact that such huge halls can be made inside the bounded city at the sixth level and in the Medieval times was, to say the least, awe-inspiring. The lawn was also spread out behind the mansion. At the very back was a delicate looking swing. Ivory covering its ropes and seat. Tiny flowers bloomed on the ropes. It was that sort of swing that you see in Disney movies for all the many nature-loving princesses. The path widened at the back and a small wooden door came into the view. The woman leading the pack was Èhara. She knocked once at the door and entered without pause. I stopped for a moment, trying without luck to smooth out the crinkles on my dress. I brushed a hand through my hair to fix a few small strands that had left the knot on my head. Taking in a large gulp of air I moved inside. Half dreading and half expecting what was yet to come.

* * *

 ** _To be continued..._**


	14. (PART-I) Chapter 13: In Humane

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Lotr.**_

 **A/N:** It took me a long time to write this chapter. Initially I had decided on the ending but halfway through the chapter I was tempted to just break it into two parts but I soon realized it wont be as good. I hope you enjoy reading cuz I surely had fun writing this chapter. And of course, Thank you to all who Favorited or followed, you guys rock.

 _ **Winniefawn:** Thank you so much for the awesome review. I take all of your compliments with a huge smile and _ _a silent promise to do even better lest I disappoint such awesome readers as you! I hope you love this chapter too :)_

 ** _Narylfiel:_** _Thank you! A sooner update, yay! Hope you enjoy this chapter :)_

 ** _To the dear readers,_**

 ** _I hope you enjoy! R &R._**

* * *

 **Chapter 13: In Humane.**

The door opened to reveal the main kitchens of the manor. The cookery, huge to the point that it was almost the size of the small one story houses in the villages, consisted of long counters of polished blue stone. The cabins above and below the left counter were made up of fine panels of dark timbre. A large stone oven was embedded into the front wall just beside the few small hearths. Despite there still being some hours till the evening supper, huge pots were bubbling over the cracking flames. Popping sounds were heard as the condiments and spices cooked over the heated oil. Chefs were bustling about the kitchen making all the haste to finish the many dishes. The aroma of the food spread thickly in the air, the pungent smell of assorted peppers making my nose itch. My eyes swept through the large room taking in the details of the activities happening around me. A large pot bellied man was flattening the dough with all of his strength while shouting orders to the other hassled workers and checking the salt in the various dishes after small intervals. After tasting a dish extended towards him by a small bony man, his face turned into a grimace and he waved the extremely large roller in front of the poor man's face. The small man, who seemed to be in his fifties, listened to the roars with a defeated look on his face. The chef now red in the face, huffed and turned around sharply, taking note of our small company standing there. His face twisted into a look of repugnance at seeing the women. His narrowed eyes softened slightly as his gaze swept over the young girl. Then he turned towards me schooling his face into a slight smile. "A new maid," he drawled lightly and then turned away muttering something that suspiciously sounded like limited utility.

Before any of us could react to the rather irate welcome, the inner double doors on the front wall opened and a lady stepped into the room. Her erect spine, quaintly squared shoulders, folded hands and confident step seemed to alert everyone in the room of her presence. She was old, probably nearing her sixties but swished around the kitchen, checking and prevailing order as if in her immediate youth. Her long gown swayed around as she turned to face our little company. She seemed to consider us for a moment, her icy blue eyes darting over us. She looked imposing with dark graying hair parted in the middle and tied to the nape of her neck in the form of a loose bun. A black shawl covered her bosom and the ends were held regally in front of her. The only thing that seemed a miss was the absence of any jewelry, not even a delicate chain was present on her neck. Had it not been for the common gossip that our Lord was a widower, I would've thought her to be the lady of the manor.

The company dropped into a curtsy just as she turned around to face us and I followed after a moment of hesitation, coming to my senses the moment her eyes made contact with mine. I hoped that my stiff curtsy wasn't that noticeable as I was not used to such obeisance.

"Welcome back," she said stiffly and we straightened, "rest tonight, the coming day you will resume your posts; latest by the first light." Then she clapped her hands once as if signing some sort of silent contract. She turned around and moved to leave. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, glad that at least one person wasn't giving me unwelcome attention. She stopped near the door and inclined her head slightly towards us. "Follow me." We stared at her trying to gauge whom she was referring to. She gave a small impatient click of her tongue and continued forward calling over her shoulder, "I am addressing you, the new girl." After hearing my mention I froze for a moment and then scurried after her hastily, the heavy door shutting after me with a loud click, separating the kitchens from my scrambling eyes.

* * *

"You shall be serving Lady Brinielel as a reserve chamber maid until we find another," She looked at me sideways for a moment, "guileless arrangement. The rest of your duty shall be working for the chief cook." High Miss Terŕeila finished with a curt nod. I accompanied her walk till we reached the small basement quarters. She took out a bunch of heavy keys from the inside pocket of her silk gown and opened the lock to reveal a small single bedded room. A wooden cabinet was placed on the front wall beneath a tiny window which served for ventilation in the murky basement. The roof was low, as beneath this very house was probably the roof of some manor of the fifth level. "Rest now, you need to be assisting the Lady in her chambers four hours after sunrise. A maid shall bring you the dinner." My eyebrows quirked at that. A maid bringing another maid her food? Seemingly recognizing my confusion she lightly clarified, "Keep your leisure for today child, the coming morning shall not make the day easier for you." Miss Terŕeila gave me another fleeting look before turning on her heel and leaving me alone in the darkened room.

I stood staring at the door for a while and then sighed. My bag was still slung over my shoulder and I moved forward to dump it on the bed, a moment later flopping on the stiff mattress myself. I stared up at the ceiling, feeling too exhausted to move. If in California I had jet lag, here in Gondor I was feeling an extreme case of cart lag. The fact that I didn't exactly have a game plan at the moment turned my insides queasy with worry. I wanted to go to the library as soon as possible so that I could find my answers and leave this place by the earliest, which didn't seem entirely possible as the seventh level couldn't be accessed by any random maid especially not the old lore and scrolls. I had to do something auspicious enough to allow me access to the books but still I needed to stay under the radar lest someone finds out my true story. All the irrational fears I would've considered imprudent were now enough to make me sick. I remembered that in the early ages people burnt women accusing them of sorcery. What if something happened or I do something completely unethical according to their standards which would eventually lead to me being under fire.

I stood up abruptly, shaking off such mindless thoughts, after all we were taking about a world in which elves and hobbits existed. I zipped open my bag. It was probably better to arrange my things, hiding a few potential loop holes, before someone comes with my dinner and insists on helping me unpack. Picking up the sword bounded in a roll of thick leather I unwrapped it slowly. Without the thick bounding, the metal cover shined lightly in the dull lamp glow. The soft yet firm hilt felt sizable in my pale hands. I pushed at the scabbard revealing the gleaming silver of the sword. The soft click of steps stopped me from drawing the sword completely. Without a moment's hesitation I moved towards the cupboard, pulled the door open and laid the sword on the wood, covering the whole horizontal length with the leather. I closed the cupboard after making sure that it was all well hidden and padded over to the bed. The door was opened a few moments after a light knock. A woman, looking to be in her late forties, held a goodly tray. She nodded at me with a polite smile and proceeded to place the food on the mattress. Not like she had a better option due to the complete lack of other furniture in the room.

She turned to face me and placed a hand warmly on my arm "A pleasure meeting you, Miss Lanette". I nodded politely at her, silently waiting for her departure. But rather she grabbed my arm and dragged me to the bed. Assembling the bag she set it on floor and took its place. "You should eat before the stew grows cold, it shan't taste as well". I gave a small smile at her affectionate antics."Thank you." My voice was genuine. She patted my folded hands once and then gestured to the food."I shall stay until you're done, after all I am quite sure you cannot navigate your way about." I silently agreed. Without nothing better to say I scooped up the bowl of thick meat stew in my hands. Placing it on my lap, I took the wooden spoon and imbibed a large bite. I was already hungry after the tiring day of travel and after tasting the fantastic food I began eating with fervor. The meat was tender, the sort that seemed to melt into your very mouth, and easily breakable with the spoon. It was marinated well, the flavor coming in strong kicks. Rather than the light watery stew I had eaten in the past, this sauce was thick and spicy. Each bite made me crave for more. Somewhere in between the pleasurable eating I registered the presence of the woman once again. Not wishing to sound rude I commented, "It's delicious." Hoping that she'll understand where I was coming from. To my relief she gave a light chuckle and nodded in understanding. Her light brown eyes sparkled lightly in humor.

"Our chef is one of the best in Gondor;" she commented as I was eating the last of my food. "his cooking always leaves you wanting for more, even if his speech has quite the opposite effect." She added the last part as an afterthought. Her tone was light at the comment easily assuring that it was a joke.

I placed the dishes on the tray and wiped my hands on the napkin.

"Whom are you assigned to?" I looked up at her for a moment.

"I'll be working primarily with the chef but also as the reserve chamber maid for Lady Brinielel." At the lady's name her eyes turned somber, her smile dropping for barely a moment before she regained her composure. I wouldn't have noticed the small reaction of hers had I not been staring at her face at the moment. Unable to hide my curiosity, I furrowed my brow.

"Is there something I should know?"

She looked at me again with a smile, although this time it felt a little fake. Maybe I was imagining the change but every time someone hides a thing from someone, it is natural instinct to doubt that person."No, nothing of importance." She patted my hand again for reassurance. Then looking at my skeptical expression she sighed; "But it might still serve in your favor if you dedicate yourself more to the kitchen chores." I arched my right brow, willing her to elaborate.

"Lady Brineilel is a.. fine lady," That slight hesitation was quite noticeable, "the commanding lady of this manor. She tends to be quite _demanding_ of her servants and doesn't take any mistake favorably". Maybe bossy was the term she was searching for. A long moment stretched between us.

"Have you served as a maid before?" I shook my head. She nodded, exhaling in a disappointed manner "Thought so."

"You aren't well versed in the workings of huge manors, a misunderstanding goes a long way, things sometimes get a bit petty, for the lack of better words. It does not serve in one's favor to do the random chores of your masters, no matter how committed one is." Petty chores? It started to sound too much like Medieval drama; which according to most TV series was an old form of the bachelor. Fights over better marriage options, over dresses and shoes and even God forbid the hand fans. "You look like a intelligent girl, I am confident that you understand what should always be placed as a priority." She said earnestly, a hard look in her previously humorous gaze. It made me wonder to what extent would this pettiness extend to for her to advise me like this. The lady got up and took the tray. She moved swiftly towards the door and stopped for a moment turning to look at me; "I shall be guiding you about the manor next morning, be ready in an hour after the dawn. I shall collect you from this room." I stood up myself and nodded at her politely, giving her a sincere smile I said "I thank you for the meal and the.. guidance, Miss-" I gazed at her expectantly.

"Anaŕiel."

"Miss Anaŕiel." I finished with a shy quirk of my lips. She laughed merrily and swatted her hand in my direction."Hush. It's no problem child, someone needs to guide a fresh mind as yours, now get some rest. Tomorrow won't come across as easy." And she left without further ado. Her steps casting a light sound in the otherwise quiet hallway. I moved quickly towards the door and peeked out towards her moving back.

"Goodnight!" I called after her. I was greeted by another laugh following a jovial Good night to you too! Before she vanished around the corner. The dark hallway suddenly felt too quiet. The only sound arose from the click of my door as I moved in to rest.

* * *

The dawn broke while I laid half awake atop my mattress. I was stressed out for the incoming day, that sort of stress when you have queasiness in the stomach and short intervals of heart pattering unfaithfully in the ribs. I slept fitfully, waking up constantly to look around startled and the flop back onto the bed once again. Needless to say by the time the dong sounded as our wake up call I was even more tired than the night before. I got up with a groan and fixed my hair into a reasonable bun, adjusting the few loose strands behind my ears. Changing my clothes I freshened up in the small bath at the end of the hallway and moved back to my room in case Anaŕiel decided to come down.

She arrival a few minutes later. Her long plain white skirt filtering about and the fluffed long sleeves of her shirt covering the base of her hands. She looked, for the lack of better term, proper. After the few greetings she clapped her hands once and dragged me off to the impending duties.

The day was long, dragged on and tiring mess. I got introduced to the chief chef, who after realizing the likeness of Anaŕiel decided that I wasn't that much of limited utility. Although what Anaŕiel said as a joke about his sharp tongue wasn't exactly a joke anymore. He was genius in his field; maybe that is why everyone seemed to overlook his sarcastic, mostly cutting, remarks. I was introduced to Lady Brinielel who was in our modern language one hot mess, the world-at-my-feet princess. What really was disturbing was the fact that she only acted that way in front of her servants; while in the front of all the proper people she was the completely innocent well bred lady.

Just like that my work in the household of Lord Dervorin started, in the form of a long tiring call.

* * *

"You think that the mess you have made is easy enough to be cleared up with an apology." Lady Brinielel's eyes were piercingly cold, making it seem that this matter was far more intense than just the spillage of wine on her dress. The poor maid shook visibly under such scrutiny, apologizing profusely for the mistake. The lady, previously inhabiting the plush sofa before the cracking fire place, stood up sharply, her luxurious margarita gown setting heavily around her legs. With a sharp swing of her hand she slapped the quivering maid.

I was standing a little sideways holding the ruined silk gown. Seeing her slap the maid caused my temper to flare abruptly, partially because I wasn't expecting that and it was sort of physical abuse and partially because I've had enough of Lady Brinielel bitching around the house, throwing her weight around even if we could do hundreds of times better without her. Without thought I made to move forward but a firm grip of Miss Anaŕiel pushed me backwards, her iron grip never leaving my upper arm. I looked at her out of irritation and she gave me another hard look while holding me in place. She then looked forward resolutely, whispering at me to straighten my expression. I exhaled a long breath trying to quench my anger. The scene before us wasn't exactly making it easier, the maid was now down on her knees, holding the lady's feet and sobbing pathetically. The lady kicked at her face and flicked her hand haughtily, a gesture for the other servants to kick her out. My spine tensed on its own accord. I raised my chin slightly, maybe as a show of defiance, but flinched back to my senses as Anaŕiel pinched my side and gave me a harsh glare which I reciprocated. Another maid came forward and grasped the sobbing girl by her arm and dragged her out of the room. There was a moment of tense silence. I wanted desperately to speak up, to put this girl back in her rightful place but having Anaŕiel by my side prevented me from stepping forward. I was told right into the first week that crossing her would mean my disregard in the whole of Minas Tirith and considering that I didn't want to cross her as much I wanted to punch her flat in the face, I was assured that such a folly could lead to imprisonment or even death in rare cases. The idea was ludicrous to me but with the sincere seriousness I was assured of it made me uncomfortable beyond measure. Then there was also the fact that if I take such a step it will also lead to a punishment for the ones who were given my duty; none other than Anaŕiel and Brilon; the chef. Even in my short stay of two weeks, I had come to like the motherly figure of Anaŕiel and the messy character that was Brilon. Them getting the heat for my folly was something I wanted to avoid as best as I could.

Sizing the moment Anaŕiel stepped forward taking the dress out of my hands. "M'lady I shall take care of the stains. The dress shall be placed in your closet as good as new." Her tone was polite with detectable hint of steel in it. Lady Brinielel raised her chin slightly, looking even more haughty than before. She flicked her hand and settled regally back in the chair. The maids moved in to do her hair as she was still in the process of getting ready. "It does not matter." Her chin was raised disdainfully "I was about to get rid of this." She waved her hand in dismissal. I looked at her incredulously, my eyes narrowing on their own accord. Anaŕiel walked towards the main door on my right and indicated at me to follow her. With another masked look I dropped into a small curtsy and followed her, muttering all the way under my breath.

* * *

I pressed my face against the cold stone wall, slumping down on the small wooden stool. The chefs bustled around me doing the last of their work after the evening meal. The dirty plates, which were not many, were being washed in the large sink. The left over food, huge in its quantity was being distributed to feed the rest of the manor. Slowly the kitchen emptied out and quietened. I groaned softly and massaged my temples, sighing with content as the headache thinned. I was done with my work and Anaŕiel had advised me to rest but as opposed to going to my room I had opted to stay here. The murky air of the dungeon didn't sit well with me and by this time of the night it grew extremely cold and devoid of any human company.

The winter was barely settling in. I was told that the summers here were extreme made even more so by the compressed walls of the city. The winter wasn't that cold as the closed structure of the city provided even a little bit of warmth against the cold biting winds but it felt extremely cold in my room. With no hearth or source of heat the room felt unbearable. Hence my reasoning to stay here in the kitchens, holed up a little sideways from the lightly burning flame of the hearth. The dark of the night had settled in long ago, with the midnight approaching in an hour most of the crowd had departed to their quarters. The main chef, Brilon was putting up some food on three plates. Anaŕiel came in a moment later. She looked at my disheveled self briefly and gave a small laugh before moving in to help Brilon in setting up our food on the large counter. They sat on opposites and I dragged my stool beside Anaŕiel to join them.

One thing that was good about our job was the food, the chefs and servants in the kitchen along with the main servants got to eat whatever the main chef cooked exclusively, which most of the time was something mouth watering. A basket on the left was filled with soft sesame bread. A large platter placed between us, half of it filled with roasted chicken and the rest with charred vegetables and creamy mashed potatoes. I picked up the lemonade jug and poured out three glasses for us before stacking a small mound of veges and potatoes in my plate. Anaŕiel took a large breast piece of the roast and placed half of it on my plate. I thanked her lightly and dug into the aromatic food. We ate in silence for most of the part. Brilon making a few comments here and there with Anaŕiel gossiping about Lady Brinielel's unjust disposal of the maid. I tensed faintly at hearing the story again, especially when Anaŕiel elaborated how foolishly I was going to tackle the problem and Brilon gave me a look of disappointment.

Later, we cleared out the table and washed our dishes, stacking them back into the cupboards. Brilon had made tea, and glad to get my favorite beverage after a long day of work I gladly settled back onto the stool. I sipped the tea, warmth spreading pleasurably through my body.

"Lass, I hope you know that your uncouth behavior won't be considered heroic in this manor." I gave him a long look, tilting my head to the side. "I'm aware Brilon," he nodded in satisfaction, "it doesn't mean that I like it."

"None of us do lass, but that is how it is; the servants don't talk back to the master no matter how are they treated." That made me feel sick to the stomach. I quenched my desire to give him a long lecture on freedom of speech, and sighed lightly into my tea. It didn't, matter if we were the servants who were paid for our work we would still be treated like slaves in this threshold. I was wallowing in pity when Miss Terŕiela decided to join us. She entered the kitchens with a commanding aura. Me and Brilon, Anaŕiel had departed, stood and bowed in respect. She ignored me and gave a small nod to the cook. Without further ado she explained her purpose.

"Master Brilon, you need not prepare food for Lord Dervorin shall be spending the day in Lord Steward's manor." She nodded once and turned to leave before pausing, "Do prepare for the evening tea as it is most probable that one of the Lords shall be joining him."

Brilon sat quietly for a while a slight frown marring his face.

"Who are 'The Lords'? I asked curiously, diverting his attention towards me. He contemplated the answer for a moment. "The highest rank is; of course the Lord Steward Denethor, he rules over Gond-"

"There isn't a king" I asked surprised, interrupting him mid sentence. He looked irritated and when he talked his tone was a bit snappy.

"No, the line of king ended long ago, now the house of stewards rule the land;" He paused for a moment before talking again, slightly unsure of the information he was now sharing, "though there are prophecies about the return of the king." I oohed, liking the suspense a bit more than I should have. Everything he was saying channeled my curiosity.

"What prophecies?" Now he gave me an withering glare. With an annoyed flicker of his hand he snapped.

"Ask someone who believes in them Lass! Do you want to know about the Lords or not?" I moved back a little at his irate behaviour, and then slumped over the counter, looking at him expectantly and silently willing him to continue. He sighed and shook his head lightly, but continued nonetheless.

"Next are his two sons, Lord Boromir and Lord Faramir, the most sought-after bachelors of Minas Tirith-no, the most sought-after bachelors of Gondor and rightfully so. Although Lord Boromir a little more than the other." I couldn't keep quiet for long, I didn't like the show the bachelor back home but now it seemed as though the whole 'ladies fighting for the prince charming' will be more than hilarious to see.

"Why?" I cocked a brow, my head nestled in my arms on the the counter.

"He is the war hero, the one who always leads the conquests, the Leader of warriors whereas Lord Faramir, although he leads his own battle armies, is more of an book-worm, an intellectual." and then adding a bit cheesiness he said, "and every woman likes a bit of muscle more than brain, doesn't she?" I straightened cynically at that, speaking before I realized the words being said.

"Of course not! Give me a smart intellectual over a pea brain muscle man any day!" My cheeks flared at the blunder. 'Pea brain, so authentic' I thought embarrassed. The chef registered my words slowly, his eyes widening at the comparison. Just when I thought that maybe I should apologize, he burst into loud guffaws, slapping his hands to his knees. I was startled for a moment but seeing his laughter gave a small embarrassed laugh. He wiped his eyes looking at me with much more likeness than before.

"Lord Boromir is not exactly Pea brain muscle man, he is an excellent strategist." I spluttered slightly then regaining a bit of my composure I crossed my arms,

"I didn't exactly talk about him, I was generalizing." It was his turn to look incredulous. He rolled his eyes for the effect.

"Ye' lass, you were talking about me." I chucked lightly at his sarcasm.

We sat in comfortable silence for a while as I sipped my cold tea. I asked him a while later, the curiosity from last two weeks gnawing at my insides.

"Lady Brinielel, isn't she too young to be the lady of the house? She's only in her late teens!" I groaned lightly, sick of my new Lady as I asked with little hope. "Isn't there an older sister or something?"

Brilon tensed at that, something that was easy to fathom. I raised an eyebrow. His brows creased, maybe he knew that there was no way I was going to let this slide.

"Lass, you should keep your mouth glued about what I am to tell you." That caught my attention. I leaned forwards on my elbows, nodding enthusiastically.

"Swear on my heart and hope to die." I added for an effect. Although the result was quite opposite as he stared at me as if I had grown horns. He shook his head, muttering under his breath.

"You are a strange lass," he said, staring straight at me as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "anyway, there is an older sister, Lady Cathiel, she resides in the house but" he coughed lightly, looking over towards the door to make sure that no one was listening in, " is more like a captive." My eyes shrunk in question. He gladly elaborated.

"She is in her late twenties and yet did not have the opportunity to marry someone of her status, her sister, who is in her prime and has a bright prospective future likes to harass her, her father is disappointed in her and doesn't talk to her, so now she basically lives as an outcast in the society and even her own house. She rarely comes out of her quarters, and has only two servants about her." My eyes grew wide at every piece of info. I snorted in disbelief, clapping my hands as if I understood his joke but when he remained dead serious I smashed my hands onto the table

"I- what? All just cause of a marriage! That's ludicrous." I ended waving my hands. He sat there staring at me calmly.

"It isn't ludicrous lass, it is what happens in the society every time a woman of class passes her prime."

"Than I deserve to be run down by a _tractor!"_ I was too emotional to notice my use of English. Had I been looking at him, I would've noticed the question in his eyes.

"It is surely a pity," he said a moment later, getting up, "but nothing we can do to change it." Looking out of the window he made a colorful noise.

"Now now Lass, look at the time, we need to be off otherwise tomorrow will be even harder than it already is supposed to be."

"But why? She's still young!" I was still caught up in the information. He looked at me exasperated. He put his palms on my shoulder and dragged me to the door.

"Lass, whatever we feel is not going to change it. Go get some rest and don't think too much into it. Better not speak of it to anyone either, not even Miss Anaŕiel." I opened my mouth to speak but was cut off once again.

"Good night, Lass." He waved his hand and gestured at me to leave.

"Good night." I muttered lightly, frowning as I moved away from the door towards the room.

With my back to him, I failed to catch Brilon's corrugated look directed towards me.

* * *

I stacked the heap of laundered kitchen towels in the lower right cabin and got up with a muffled groan. I looked around as I stretched my arms over my head. Chefs and cooks sat on the last bench, chatting away. The aroma of hot piping tea and freshly baked cookies making my mouth water. I turned to leave, as I still had a lot of chores to do, but Brilon waved me over. I moved towards him expectantly, hoping that he offers me a cup of tea, that I was craving. He smirked lightly as if knowing what I want, and handed me a large tray of tea. The tray had quite the weight due to the assortment of cakes and cookies with pot of hot piping tea, cream and sugar. I groaned in annoyance and he gave me a small flick on the temple

"Now Lass! Take this to Lady Brinielel, she is expecting company."

I tensed lightly at the command, knowing very well that every time I went to serve her I was left as a boiling mess of rage. He gave me hard look, and tapped lightly on my elbow as a warning to stay pleasant.

I padded across the manor, reaching the quarters of Lady Brinielel. Balancing the tray on my hand and a few fingers I turned the knob of the main door lightly and pushed at the large oaken door with my shoulder. The door opened to reveal the huge living room. The large plush chairs and sofas arranged symmetrically around the glass table, the fire large fireplace cracking merrily although no one was present. The door to the bedroom was partially opened and voices sounded from the inside. They took turns in chatting, one was undeniably Èhara and the other being the Lady herself. I placed the tray on the table and massaged my wrists slowly. Then I began setting the table. My closeness to the door made the voices much clearer. For a moment I contemplated whether to inform them of my presence but decided against it. The more time I could spend not facing The lady, the better. I didn't mean to but unconsciously I started listening into their conversation.

"...the herb, it'll flatten the lady's stomach in a day!" Èhara's voice was loud with pleasure. Then a moment later she uttered a hasty apology, no doubt due to some glare from the lady. That made me pause for a moment. An herb that can flatten one's stomach in a day? It was laughable. I was placing the last of the plates on the table when Lady Brinielel's voice sounded, more serious than before

"Make sure that Lady Frinara gets the gift." Èhara made a noose of agreement and stepped outside, tensing when she saw me. Maybe it was the trick of light but for a moment her color seemed paler than before. I nodded at her and indicated to the food, "The chef said to tell him if the Lady needs anything else, I shall be leaving now." By now she seemed to have regained her composure and flickered her hand. I bit my tongue against a biting remark and turned on my heel to leave, thinking all the way that Èohere hadn't judged this woman well.

* * *

Later that noon I was leaning against the counter, sipping a hot mug of tea when Brilon found me. He disapproving gaze swept over me and he shook his head but joined me a moment later, equipped himself with a large mug of green tea. Even if he was the head chef, he wasn't that popular with the general public, especially due to his cutting remarks. We stood in silence for a while, enjoying our hot beverages in the cold air.

"Who is Lady Frinara?" I asked, looking at him sideways. He raised his brows lightly, "Why you ask lass?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "Nothing, really." He stared for a moment and then sighed lightly looking forward, "You're too curious for your own good." I straightened thinking maybe she was another outcast. As if realizing my thoughts he said, "It is not like that lass, she is a respectable lady, in her early twenties, wife to one of the best bachelors after the high Lords." I nodded in understanding, no wonder Lady Brinielel wanted to send her gifts. He looked at the wall, face covered in a frown, as if contemplating whether to share the next piece of information with me, "She'll hopefully be a mother by the start of spring." That was in four months, so it meant that she was five months pregnant. I smiled lightly and then placed my mug on the counter, moving to stack the bunch of plates in the cupboard.

Unconsciously I felt my mind drifting towards Lady Frinara and her friendship with Lady Brinielel. Suddenly I stopped short, my hand quavering in mid-air. I felt as though the air was knocked out of me. The herb, flattening stomach, a day, the pale expression of Ehara, the worried look of Brilon. Then I laughed a bit hysterically, I was overreacting, _I must be_. Lady Brinielel, no matter how much of a bastard she was would never harm a life, would she? My mind drifted back to my first conversation with Anarion. _'a misunderstanding goes a long way, things sometimes get a bit petty'_ , I felt my throat constricting. I got up and located Brilon, leaving my work in the midst. Moving swiftly towards him I grabbed his arm and dragged him to the farthest corner, his protests died down when he saw my serious expression. "Is Lady Frinara some sort of enemy to Lady Brinielel?" He nodded hesitantly, confirming my worst fears. "Lady Frinara married the Lord she had her eyes on, she was not very pleased with their marriage and after the news of the lady's pregnancy..." He trailed off after seeing my troubled expression and flinched when I grabbed his wrists. "Is there a _doctor_...a person who sells medicine near here?" He nodded startled, "Yes there is one on the third level, but Lass-" I cursed at hearing that. I had no time to waste. "At which level is the house of Lady Frinara?" "At the fifth level, the blue stone manor, hard to overlook, but what-" He stopped abruptly as if realizing what I was hinting at. My next sentence was of plea, "Cover for me Brilon, I have no time to waste. Just hope that I am not too late." He nodded seriously, before he could say anything, I was already moving out of the kitchen and towards the main gate. The guard looked surprised but didn't stop me as mostly maids and servants had to go out of the manor for their chores. Just as I was out of the sight of the guard I broke into a sprint. I don't think that I've ever run so pathetically. I ran and then slowed down into a jog and then ran again until I reached the end of the fourth level. I was a panting horribly and had I not been so caught up in the possibility of the death of the small life in lady Frinara's tummy, i would've noticed all the looks and pointing, but at that moment, with my feelings as a doctor on the line, I didn't give a damn. I leaned against the wall and walked out of the fourth level gates. Holding my hand dismissively as one of the guards moved forwards to help me. I moved into he bazaar, looking around for the shop. I asked a few passers-by and they pointed the directions. I thanked them genuinely and moved towards the location as fast as my legs could carry me. Inside the shop an old withering man sat, a set of spectacles balanced on the tip of his nose as he took in my disheveled appearance.

"Do you have a medicine to kill a growing baby?" I asked, not knowing the word for abortion. "He looked surprised, " I do Lady but-" "I want a medicine that prevents that" I cut across him urgently. He stood up and rummaged through a few cabinets as I tapped my foot impatiently. After what seemed like ages he came forth with a small bottle of potion. "10 silver, lass." That was when I realized the error of my ways. I had brought no money. I nearly choked up and started crying right then and there. But I steeled myself, reminding that the life of a kid depended on what happens now. "I don't have the money, but I'll pay you as early as tomorrow, I promise!" He faltered visibly, "Lass...I cannot-" "A child's life is on the line!" and then inhaling quickly, "sign a contract or anything you want, but please give me the medicine." At his hesitation, I nearly screamed, "You're a healer, for God's sake!" He furrowed his brow and then handed the bottle to me, "Remember, by the first light!" I was startled into silence, a second later I started thanking him profusely, bowing a few times.

"What are you waiting for, Lass!"

I turned and sprinted.

* * *

The blue stone manor wasn't hard to find, I had it preserved in my memory from when I first came to Minas Tirith. I got past the guard easily enough, saying that I brought something from Lady Brinielel, he gave a lightly suspicious look at my tattered appearance but let me in. I navigated to the kitchen doors, all the manors seemed to have their kitchen in the back. Without hesitation I opened the door and stepped in. The activity in the kitchen stopped at my arrival. Squaring my shoulders and standing at my full height I called out authoritatively, "Who can take me to Lady Frinara?" They looked around, gobsmacked. "It isn't the time for those looks," I let the urgency seep into my voice, "your lady might be in danger!" Just on cue a maid burst into the kitchens, sobbing hysterically. "The lady-she-she's poisoned!" I cursed loudly and the kitchen burst into activity. In the mayhem I found myself being taken to the Lady's chamber. I entered and moved towards the bed she was laying on, a fever was coming, her body racking with quivers. The maid on her side tried to stop me but with one hard glare she stepped aside. "The lamp!" I ordered and it was brought near us. I opened the eyes, which were growing yellow due to toxins, her mouth was becoming more dry with time. "Is there something that can make her puke all the contents of her stomach." I turned to look at the maid fully, she nodded with a jerk and fled out of the room. I could've pressed the stomach had she not been pregnant. For the time being I took hold of the wet towel pressing it to her warm face. I was feeling dizzy myself, totally lost without proper medicine or equipment but I took in a long breath and held my ground. _'Even if I can't I have to try.'_ I gulped down the emotions. The maid returned a moment later giving a jumbled explanation, "Mix with water prevents the girls from accumulation of fat." In simple words, a medicine to cause bulimia, just fantastic! I mixed a huge spoonful of powder into water and forced it down her throat, the maid moved forward with a small bin. Sure as sun the lady moved to sit up a moment later and puked her guts out. I wiped her face after she collapsed once more and was unconscious in a moment. "Would she have thrown it out?" the maid asked choking up at the end. "We can only hope so." I gave a firm reply, then proceeded to take out the bottle of medicine and give it to her with a bit of water. I sighed as I closed the bottle. The initial adrenaline had washed off, now I realized that there was nothing I could do except for checking for her condition. I felt a little hopeless but stubbornly kept telling myself that it will work. I wiped her skin for a long time hoping to calm down the fever. I felt her forehead and was relieved to see it work even the slightest bit. I was so preoccupied that i did not realize the commotion outside. The door opened loudly and startled me out of my reverie. A tall, handsome man stepped into the room, his expression taught with worry. I stood up and moved away, knowing that this man must be the husband. He sat down beside her and took her pale hands in his palms. I was about to move out of the room when his voice stopped me. "Will she wake up?" I stopped considering the answer for a moment. Truly, I wasn't sure, she might if the toxin was removed during the puking and she might not if the toxin was digested. I was hopeful that she will, the purple poison in her puke was an indication that the poison wasn't digested yet but as for the baby... Looking back at the slumped back of the man, who like all the other lords must have never let his spine curve like that in front of a measly maid, I felt something akin to pity. I schooled my expression and made sure that my voice didn't betray my boiling emotions, "M'lord, I am hopeful. Did you bring any healers?" He nodded weakly, turning his head away from his wife for a moment. "Then come out my lord, it is better that the healers look at her as soon as possible." He looked like he wanted to argue but backed down a bit when he registered that he might just be a hindrance. He got heavily off the bed and moved out of the door, I followed closely behind him and the healers moved in as soon as we stepped out. The next ten minutes were tense. The Lord moved to and fro in anxiety and the tense servants following him with his eyes as if he might burst right there. The healers came out slowly, moving to stand in front of the Lord.

"It would have been dangerous had it not been for the quick action by the Lady," they gestured towards me and I leaned back sighing contently, knowing from experience that such a sentence was followed by good news, "The lady and the child are alright, a little weak but alive nonetheless." Anyone could see the tense atmosphere lifting. The servants gave cheerful whoops and the lord leaned against the wall in relief. "We shall give her a few medicines and then you can meet her." They clarified and moved into the room.

There was silence for a moment before the Lord came to face me. I bowed lightly, considering his rank. "How can I thank you, m'lady?" I looked at him and shrugged, "there's nothing to thank me about, it was the right thing to do." and then my gaze fell on the night's sky outside and the colour drained from my face, "I hope that the lady gets well but I really need to go m'lord." He nodded, his expression understanding, "I heard from the servants, and know who is behind this," in the lamplight his eyes looked positively murderous, "I will be meeting with Lord Dervorin after I see my wife, and I shall talk about your good deed too." He ended as an afterthought. I nodded hastily and moved towards the main door, the servants parting to let me be. Just as I placed my hand on the knob to open it, the Lord addressed me,

"Lady..." he stopped looking at me expectantly, "Lanette",

"Lady Lanette, I am in your debt, there is nothing I can thank you with but I hope you still accept my sincerest feelings." He said and after a moment's hesitation gave a polite bow. All of his servants followed him immediately. My cheeks flared lightly, and I waved my hand awkwardly, saying a polite "There's no need." before leaving.

* * *

I took my time in reaching the manor, dreading what would befall me after crossing Lady Brinielel. But if something like this happened again i was hundred percent sure that I would be doing the same. That small moment of sincerest thanks on the faces of the household left me feeling as if I was in California once more, just coming out of the operation theater to tell them the good news. That little moment made me realize how much I really missed my old life.

I entered the kitchens. The hustle abruptly died down as all of the staff stood staring. My eyes met with Brilon who had a dejected look on his face. I gulped, realizing that Lady Brinielel already knew of the stunt I pulled. Èhara took that moment to come into the kitchen. She wouldn't meet my eyes but informed me that Lady wanted to meet me at this instant. I followed silently, the slumped shoulders of the lord, the quavering body of the Lady, the pale and stricken looks of the maids filling me with quiet rage. I barely masked my trembling lip and angry red eyes. The Lady was sitting on the same posh sofa as before. She stood sharply as I came in and with a few quick steps reached me, her expression one of controlled rage. I let out my own hot white rage into my face. When she spoke her voice was exceeding in octaves.

"How dare you cross me maid! Do you realize that those who take me as their enemy don't survive here, especially not a lowly kitchen maid as you." She moved even closer, her next word spitting on my face, "You think that your heroics will be sung here, no wench, I will make sure that you pay what you deserve." I was already reaching my breaking point with her and this spit was just setting fire to my already boiling rage. I squared my shoulders and straightened my spine, when I spoke my voice was that of cold, threatening anger, "I don't care what you do, wench. I have never liked bullies and you're just going over board. I don't care how many times you act like a whiny bastard doing your petty crimes, let it be a hundred or let it be a thousand, I will always stand in your damn way!" I finished angrily.

Before I could move further I felt the stinging sharpness of a slap on my cheek, my face moving sideways. Before she brought down her other hand I grabbed her wrist and squeezed hard, "Do not even!" My tone contained a harsh warning.

Our fight was broken when Lord Dervorin decided to join us. With commanding authority he ordered him to be left alone with his daughter. With another withering look at each other , I let her wrist go and moved out without even a curtsy to the lord. "Miss Lanette," he addressed me, his dark eyes boring into mine, "I am going to have a word with you too, wait in my study." With a curt nod I departed, leaving the messed up family to straighten their values.

* * *

Anaŕiel joined me in the walk to the study. The study was on the base floor right wing so we had to pass through a large number of hallways. People constantly stopped to mutter behind their hands and stare. The news of my fight had already spread. Anaŕiel walked beside me in silence, not once telling me that I had had done something stupid. Her right hand was lightly placed on my elbow as she steered me towards the destination. Unable to take the silence anymore I said, "Anaŕiel, you told me the first day that I need to know when to stop and I-"

"I know child." Her gaze was soft, "You're foolish but brave for taking such a risk. I'm proud that I was the one who got your duty." She cupped my face with motherly affection and shooed me into the study, herself standing outside. I blinked back the tears that threatened to fall, the stay in Gondor was turning out too taxing for me to bear. I looked outside the window, willing my emotions to calm down.

A long hour passed before Lord Dervorin stepped into the study. I had been leaning against the wall and straightened once he arrived. He gave me a fleeting look and sat on the main chair behind the table, looking every bit imposing with his regal clothing and mannerisms. He stared me down for a while. I thought to back down, but stood my ground knowing that things might be worse if they get hold of my fear.

"I heard the tale from Lord Rameron, Why did you do that?" That was unexpected, I was steeling myself for bashing and yet...

His eyes betrayed no emotion. I furrowed my brow.

"I knew what was about to happen, I couldn't possibly have stood aside and let it unfold." He leaned on his elbows, looking at me straight in the eyes.

"It had no relation to you so why?" I spluttered for a moment.

"It- because it was inhumane!" My voice was rising in its pitch. I inhaled sharply and clasped my hands.

"I don't care if you punish me or kick me out but I will stand by the fact that I was- I am right." My voice caught in my throat. He stared for another long moment. His gaze gauging my expression and then he straightened.

"Your punishment won't be kicking you out, you have made an enemy of my daughter and for that you are going to suffer by her hands. I will have it so you still work in my house-"

"No." He looked startled for a fleeting moment before masking his emotions.

"No?" He asked for confirmation.

"I'll put it bluntly m'lord, I don't have a death wish." I said slowly. His eyebrows were raised by now. A moment later he broke into a large smile, an amused chuckle escaping his lips.

"A strange maid you are Lady Lanette." There was a small spark of humor in his eyes. My mouth curled into a smirk.

"It is even stranger that you call a maid a lady." My tone was light. He turned serious again and clasping his hands on the desk.

"I believe that ranks are not born into but earned." I couldn't help but let the sarcasm slip.

"Quite different you are from your daughter." A moment later I realized the error of my words. No matter what, Lord Dervorin was still essentially a lord.

"Sorry" I mumbled. This time he let his emotions slip into the facade. Suddenly he looked years older than before. His sigh was one of a tired man, the one on whom the world has never been kind. He rubbed a hand on his face dragging it through his small beard.

"No, Lady Lanette, you speak the truth. Even if I am the father, it hurts me to admit that my daughter has fallen too low." I stood still, not knowing what to say. He continued at my silence. His gaze one of a plead.

"And as a father I ask you to remain working here, not as a maid, but a Lady companion of my eldest daughter, Cathiel, I am certain you have already heard the rumors." How can I say no when he had asked me so sincerely? I groaned in audibly.

"I do but why?" I dead panned.

"She is the elder of my two daughters, the society has forsaken her and she has withdrawn from me, as a father it hurts me plainly." I was still skeptical.

"I'm sorry but where do I fit in here?" He looked straight into my eyes and said with confidence that surprised even myself.

"I feel as though my daughter has much to learn from you."

"I can't-" My protests died on my tongue as he called in Miss Anaŕiel.

"Lady Anaŕiel, I have decided on her post, please help her in settling." she wasn't fortunate enough in hiding her startled expression.

"Post, M'lord." He nodded.

"As the Lady companion of Cathiel." Anaŕiel opened and closed her mouth twice, looking totally lost. The male servant of Lord Dervorin's quarters inturrupted us mid conversation. He gave an apologetic look towards us. He bowed swiftly, talking mid-bow,

"M'lord, Lord Boromir is here to see you." That seemed to change the atmosphere real quick. Lord Dervorin stood up and clasped his hands in the front. His previously slouched expression turning into a regal one. He flicked his hand at the servant, raising his chin,

"What are you waiting for? Send him in." he looked at Anaŕiel, "Prepare refreshments." She gave a small curtsy.

"Yes, m'lord." Then placing a hand on my elbow she whispered with urgency,

"Stand to the side." and we did, standing side ways so we can make our escape just after the Lord enters.

Lord Boromir came in with a definite aura. His shoulders set yet loose, hand clasped to the back, head held high. His royal blue embroidered over shirt, showed off his majestic upbringing yet the taught muscles, visible lightly under his clothes, and the calm yet bold gaze with which he took in his surroundings spoke of the warrior in him. One can tell why he was a sought after bachelor. Aside from his rank and repute, his finely chiseled features could surely be considered handsome. His dark hair falling a little above his shoulders moved lightly at his nod. His silver eyes took in every crook and corner of the study in one calculating look, then his eyes fell on us. Anaŕiel bowed immediately and I seeing someone of such high class for the first time and still being effected by the recent events returned his gaze confidently until both the other parties spoke simultaneously,

"Welcome Lord Boromir, please have a seat." Lord Dervorin extended his arms to greet the man. A polite smile on both of their faces.

"Come on there's work to be done." Anaŕiel touched my elbow and broke me out of the trance. Giving a hasty curtsy, I turned to follow her.

This encounter, although little it was, will come to both of us as a significant moment later in our lives but for now, in the hurricane of today's activities, I felt it the easiest to forget about the silver gaze of one lord Boromir.

* * *

 _ **To be continued...**_


	15. (PART-I) Chapter 14: Lady Cathiel

**A/N: I do not own LOTR.**

 ** _Thank you to all of you guys who favourited or followed the fic. You all are awesome!_**

 ** _Winniefawn:_** _I hope that you love this chapter as much as you did the last one! ENJOY :)_

 ** _La Femme Absurde:_** _I'm glad that you're still sticking around. I hope you enjoy the chapter :)_

 ** _Moonbeam178:_** _Thank you so much! Hope you enjoy this chapter too :)_

 ** _LightCDark:_** _Karma biting back Brinielel sounds tempting... Thank you! I hope you enjoy this chapter too :)_

 ** _Myharlequinromance321:_** _It's always flattering to see new people enjoying the story. Thank you so much for the best wishes! Hope you enjoy the chapter and best wishes to you too :)_

 ** _Katriella_** ** _Rosewood:_** _I want to write Eohere again too! So glad you liked the story. Hope you enjoy the chapter too :)_

 **Timeline: A few important points:**

Lotr doesn't exist in Lanette's world and even if you want it to exist then Lanette is ignorant to its presence (which is extremely surprising as Lanette is portrayed as an avid reader and the fact that she doesn't know about one of the most famous series as well... ) That is why I decided on the non-existence of the books as Lanette will not be a character with foreknowledge.

Lanette is a general surgeon, born and living in California, USA. Although she studied MBBS and specialisation in England. Therefore she is able to be a practising surgeon at the age of 27.

 **The timeline is roughly like this,**

-She arrives in Middle-Earth at the end of October, 3016

-She stays in Bree for four months, (Nov, Dec, Jan, Feb and a bit of March)

-Meets Èohere a week into March, 3017

-Travels with him for almost 5 months, (March, April, May, June, July and a bit of August.)

-Stays in Rohan for 2 weeks until the end of August.

-Leaves for Gondor travels the whole Sept and reaches at the start of Oct.

-Meets Cathiel in November.

I hope it covers any questions you might have. If any confusions feel free to ask me. With that done,

 ** _Enjoy the chapter! RR._**

* * *

 **Chapter#14: Lady Cathiel.**

Sheets of rain poured down, sounding off of the hard marble of Minas Tirith. The howling winds cracked across the darkened night; the black riotous yet haunted. Trees whipped around furiously, their tops dancing to the howls. With every howl the windows rattled and doors smashed before they quietened to give a eerie gloom. The streets were empty, the few guards rushing into the shelter to protect themselves, although the soldiers still stood taught beyond the walls, facing the roaring winds of Pelennor with nothing but their steel wills.

The manors were quietened. Almost everyone had retired to their beds hours ago before this storm started deep into the night. The Lord Dervorin's manor, in particular, showed the few darkened balconies at the front. The lamps illuminating the entrance flickered and dimmed. The iron gate rattled against the chain, it's noise echoing across the quiet of the house. The swing whipped around, its branch creaking loudly.

The darkened path was interrupted, as above the kitchens, on the right corner, a small crown glass showed orange hue on the inside. Although it was dim enough to be neglected by any onlooker.

A gush of wind blew across the Pelennor and the window broke free of its bind. The wood creaked as it unbolted. A wave of cold wind entered the room and the candle sitting on the small wooden flickered and dimmed before blowing out and plunging the room into dark.

I sighed in annoyance. Getting up and shutting the small leather book with a snap, I picked up the candle stand. 'Just when I was about to know what he found in the cave!' I groaned. I padded my way across the new room, stumbling into the bedpost and then into the shelf. Navigating through my hands I pulled open the door stepping into the posh hallway. Lantern sticks lighted up the whole corridor. All the rooms were closed and locked as I was the only resident in this part of the manor. I took down a lantern and moved inside, not wanting to stay out here alone in the horrific weather. I stood for a moment at the entrance and took in my surroundings. It was more than twice the size of my previous room, which was no wonder as my previous room became too crowded if more than three people stood in it simultaneously. The bed was in the middle of the length, pressed to the side wall. Bed sheets were rich satin, the blue contrasting with the polished brown of the posts. It was a little bigger than single ones, maybe somewhere in between the medium range. A large wooden cabinet was placed across from it. The round coffee table was placed in front of the large window with two chairs surrounding it. What I really loved about this room was the fireplace (although I had no firewood yet to make any use of it) and the small plush carpet in front of it. A shelf occupied the right of the door but it was empty aside from a small candle stand. It was still a little ambiguous for me to be posted as a Lady companion of Lady Cathiel. Yesterday night was a flurry of activity and today I was transferred to this room. I had thought that I was chambermaid of the lady but Anaŕiel had been amused and explained to me that a lady companion accompanies her lady where ever and acts as an adviser, sometimes even a friend. By the time I transferred my little assortment of belongings and had gotten a round of these halls along with the outskirts of the Lady's quarters it had already been growing dark and dusty. Anaŕiel had assured me that I will get to meet Lady Cathiel tomorrow and had shooed me out of the kitchens and into my lonely room. Soon after sleep evaded me, the roaring weather making it impossible to be at rest. With nothing better to do, I had picked up the sole leather bounded novel placed on the lonely shelf. It didn't take me long to get engrossed in it, although due to the fact that I had not read for months it was a little difficult to make out the words.

I placed the lantern on the table and situated myself back on the seat. Looking out of the window my eyes met with nothing but dark. I tried to look around but gave up after a moment and returned to my book, not noticing as the hours flew by.

The morning dawned with a greyish hue, the clouds still surrounding the margin. I was woken two hours later by a maid knocking shyly on the door. I had gone to sleep a little before dawn and was not exactly in an optimum condition to meet the Lady and making an impression. After the fourth knock, I had dragged myself out of the bed. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes I creaked open the door. I was greeted by the sight of a petite maid holding a steel bowl of warm water. A towel was draped on her right arm. She did a slight curtsy. "M'Lady, I have brought the water for you." Her voice was timid. I was already tired and after the events, I was not exactly trusting of anyone in this household aside from Anaŕiel and Brilon. Biting back a sarcastic remark I murmured incoherently in English and opened the door wider, plastering a small smile on my face. She shuffled into the room, her dark eyes curious at my language and her brown ponytail swaying behind her. I instructed her to place the bowl on the table. I washed my face and hands in the basin and then proceeded to brush my teeth with the paste that was so common in this city, all the while waiting for the maid to leave. She stood at the corner with her head bowed down. Her petite frame looked timid in this slouched position.

"You can leave if you have any more work to do." I offered lightly as I took the towel from her extended arms and dried my arms.

She looked up at me with wide eyes, "I am assigned to you, my lady."

My head snapped up from the towel and I stared at her incredulously. "Why would I have a maid?" I asked, my brow furrowing.

"You're the lady companion of Lady Cathiel." She paused for a moment, "It is the first time there has been a lady companion in our household in the past twenty years, M'lady."

"That is...different" I countered, not knowing what to comment at this piece of information. "but I still don't need someone working for me, I can do it on my own. I'm still a servant like you." I said in reassurance.

She stared at me with wide eyes, "No m'lady! A lady companion is not a servant. You're now a lady of a station in this house, just like Miss Terŕiela." It was now my turn to stare at her in disbelief. "Why didn't anyone inform me of this?" I complained about a groan. I turned around to take my dress out of the cupboard all the while trying to come up with some sort of game plan. Nothing came to mind at that instant. I chewed on my lip and cursed softly, Too much for keeping a low profile.

I munched on the piece of toast, my body slouched in annoyance. People flurried around me performing the many tasks. Aroma of roasted meat spread in the kitchen, the spices making my mouth water. Shaking away the trance I looked around in boredom. I had nagged at Anaŕiel for a whole of forty minutes for some sort of work. She had sighed and given me a light smirk before shooing me towards the counter to take my breakfast. I wasn't used to being this free for years now. Back home I had managed my apartment along with my job, making free time a luxury. Even here I've always had some sort of job or work. Other times I was busy travelling or studying. And now, since the morning, whenever I tried to do some even minute task myself the girl, Bnaŕia had looked mortified. A while ago I was folding some of my clothes when she had come into the room bearing firewood. One look at me and she had dropped the wood rushing forward to snatch away the laundry. She had given me a look and explained in a timid voice how things would be difficult for her if High Miss or God forbid Lady Brinielel saw me doing my work. At the mention of Lady I had tensed visibly and handed her the task without another word. Knowing what she did to Lord Rameron's wife I didn't want to take the chance. If I had thought yesterday that Lord Dervorin gave her some sort of punishment for her petty acts I couldn't have been more wrong. She was again up to flaunt around in the morning and even dining with the Lord who was engaged in polite conversation with his daughter. It made me realize how much she had everyone wrapped around her fingers. What she said was done and no matter how dangerous the results no one dared to speak up against her. I wondered again what had really happened to Lady Cathiel for her to live her life holed up without human interaction. Surely marriage wouldn't..couldn't have been the real factor.

I was startled out of my reverie by Bnaŕia as she came to stand beside me, her posture sloughing and submissive. I gave her a thoughtful look. There she was, yet another mystery I couldn't figure out. Why was she so timid? Surely this wasn't because it was thought pretty for women to quieten in submission these days. Or maybe because life wasn't that big of a success for a woman showing signs of intelligence and leadership. Or maybe I just wanted to hate such farcical ideas that seemed to be deeply rooted in the brains of the locality. My expression was cynical as I turned my head towards my cup. I drowned the tea in two large sips and pushed the stool inside the counter as I got up. My attention was focused upon Bnaŕia. She looked up from beneath her lashes "M'lady" she sounded, "Lady Cathiel has invited you to join her for the noon tea." As she finished her eyes strayed towards my empty cup. She furrowed her brow before looking at me apologetically, "I can tell Lady Cathiel that you've just had your tea-" I shrugged, stopping her successfully "No need, The Lady of the manor has invited me, it is extremely impolite to decline her, besides" I walked around the counter and looked back at her rushing figure, "tea is life." I didn't wait to see what her reaction would be, walking purposefully towards the impending meeting.

I knocked at the polished oak twice before the door was opened by a short plump woman. Her, surprisingly, corn hair were tied back loosely and her white skirt fell with light waves to the floor. A distrustful look flashed across her face before she opened the double doors wider to let me and an awed Bnaŕia in.

The inside of the room was wide, furnished in a similar fashion to that of Lady Brinielel although much bleak. A wide fireplace was crackling across the room and in front of it, a Lady was occupying one of the seats, a large number of refreshments and tea placed in front of her as she waited patiently while staring into the fire. The room was doused in an orange hue and the outside light was blocked with heavy velvet curtains. I moved towards the lady, straining my eyes to get a better look at her in the dimly lit room. The lady turned to face me the moment I stepped closer. Her violet gown swept around her feet and a fringe of her black hair escaped from the thin headpiece. Her hazel eyes met mine for a fleeting moment before she drew them away. When she got up her shoulders were bent humbly, not at all what I expected from a lady of her status.

I situated myself on the plush single sitter after a curtsy. The Lady herself became comfortable and nodded towards her maid. In a moment Bnaŕia was led to the adjoining room. I watched her being led away with discomfort. Why did she even bother? Not like there was something that Bnaŕia would be able to chatter away, she wasn't just suited for social gossiping.

"It makes me glad to make your acquaintance, Lady Lanette. I have heard a lot about you." My eyes snapped towards her face. I gave a smile dipping my head lightly.

"Not at all." A tense moment stretched on. My gaze swept once again across the room and then fell upon the masked expressions of the lady. "Although you're not at all like what I thought," I added instinctively. Which proved to be a mistake as the lady's maid, who chose that moment to step back into the room, snapped towards me. She was visibly angered.

"Why? Are you going to go and gossip with Lady Brinielel that her sister is not a threat to her in her holed up position!". My patience was thinning at this horrible atmosphere. I tilted my head and gave her a cold look.

"I never said that. If there is one thing I can assure you then it is that I won't be going around twittering about you," I scoffed, "especially not to Lady Brinielel." The maid looked like she wanted to say something again. Lady Cathiel looked up at the maid and she quietened, biting her lip and giving me a glare. I turned my attention back towards the lady, who was once again gazing at her folded hands on her lap.

"I know that you are not comfortable with me around and if you want then I'll come around the least I possibly can." I sighed softly, "I won't take it personally as I believe that you have the reason to doubt other's intentions."

The lady looked at my face to judge my expression. I made sure to keep as monotone as possible, after all, she was still the bloodline of Lady Brinielel. It was strange that I didn't even seem to get along with one of the two ladies of the household. Lady Cathiel nodded with slight hesitation.

"You can join me whenever you want Lady Lanette," her eyes snapped up to the maid as if asking for confirmation, "although you might find it a waste of time as there will not be anything to interest you here."

"I'll judge that for myself."

Another moment of silence. I gazed at the crackling fire. The hot red flames making different patterns. It was mesmerizing to gaze into a fire like that and to forget all about the present and wallow in the happenings of yesterday.

The maid came into my vision as she poured out two cups of tea. She put them on the china saucers and looked up at me,

"Would you like some sugar?"

"A cube, please." I accepted the cup with a murmured thanks. I drowned it as fast as possible without seeming rude. I couldn't think of anything to chat about and the lady didn't seem like she wanted to make the effort, staring into her tea as she sat. I placed the cup on the table and swept my eyes across the room. The lady was lost in her own world and the maid still staring holes into my skull. I took that as a cue to leave. I got up swiftly and bowed a curtsy,

"I shall be leaving now. My room's in the parallel hallway if you need my company." I added the last part lightly, hoping that she won't exactly want my company. The dull atmosphere had already caused my mood to go down the gutter.

"Ah! It was a pleasure, Lady Lanette." Lady Cathiel's voice was devoid of any pleasure she said that she had felt on my company.

"Of course not! The pleasure was all mine." I replied dully before moving swiftly away and out of the room. A distressed Bnaŕia scrambling after my quick stride.

Three days passed in a similar fashion. I got up and dressed every day, with no little help from Bnaŕia and went to sit with the lady for fifteen minutes. Even those minutes were spent sitting idly and sipping on some warm tea, the lady staring into the fire more and more frequently. The rest of my day was passed sitting bored in the kitchen during work hours and chatting with Anaŕiel and Brilon late into the night. I tried a few times to go out and walk a little but the continually decreasing temperature made it hard to be out and about wearing just a dress. If I thought about it, I could've just asked for some new clothes to be made but I was already getting paid for a job I wasn't properly doing so I just kept quiet and let the time flow.

I was putting on my shoes waiting for Bnaŕia to be done with her little chores. She always insisted on following me around and I obliged politely as I had no other company. Her timid self-made for a better company than the boredom I felt in Lady Cathiel's quarters. The most progress we had made until now was me asking whether she likes coffee or not, which she responded with a small quirk of her nose and a shake of her head. After that, I had just left her to her own devices. It was proving to be extremely useless whenever I tried to converse with her. So by the second day, I had stopped trying and now was waiting for her to initiate the talk. Maybe she'll get tired of my continuous company and open up a little. I wanted to get along with her. Not just cause it was my job but also because I did not have time to just go around living around comfortably. These days I was even tenser and I desperately wanted to do something to make Lady Cathiel realize that I wasn't here to be a hassle to her. I needed to befriend her as she was now my only hope for any answers. With so much free time on my hands, I had been reminiscent too much in the past. I realized yesterday that it was November already, a year had passed since I had stepped into this odd life. The fact had brought tears and I had spent the rest of the night crying softly into my pillow. Did one year mean that everyone back home already believes that I am dead? With every passing day, I felt the little spark of confidence fading. Every day the thoughts of being stuck in this world, so unlike my home, for eternity solidified. Every day I felt my mood growing worse. I was growing irate and snappish because of the bottled up anxiety. I had no one to share my fears, my concerns with. At least no one who knows where I really am from. Every day I thought about the far gone possibility of the road to Rohan. What if I had stuck with Èohere? At least I would've had someone to share my burdens with. I felt anguished, scared, disappointed and hurt. Maybe many other emotions too that I wasn't able to describe. But most importantly I felt alone. Alone in this constricting society and petty feuds. Alone in a country, I knew nothing about and among people I couldn't really be honest too. Alone in facing the problems that weren't related to me and trying desperately to solve someone else's complications when I can't even begin to think of my own ones. Just simply and complexlyalone.

In my dark and gloomy mood, I failed to notice the concerned glances of Bnaŕia or the troubled expressions of Anaŕiel or even the soft unusual concern of Brilon. Maybe I could've shared my burdens with them but I didn't. I did not want to go around telling something as far-fetched as my story. So I stayed quiet and spent my days wallowing in self-pity.

I got up and walked towards the door just as Bnaŕia came to stand beside me., done with her chores. The walk to the Lady's quarters was quiet. Bnaŕia being the quiet person she was rarely initiated conversation and I being too lost these days didn't try to bother. I stopped to compose myself outside the oak doors and exhaled a tired breath. I knocked twice before moving inside. The room was always like a painting drawn on a canvas. The only thing that was ever different was the lady's dress or hairstyle. The pose, the tea, the cakes, the roaring fireplace and the cynical expression of Naimĺa was exactly the same every day. The same old and boring routine.

I gave a curtsy to the lady and sat on my designated chair. Naimĺa served the tea as we exchanged a few pleasantries and then our voices faded into silence as we sipped on the tea, staring at the burning amber.

My gaze swept into the room after a while of stillness and fell upon the wall mirror on the side. I stared at my own reflection wondering how can I change so much in appearance than my previous self and yet remain exactly the same. My dark brown hair was tied in a ponytail, which now reached almost to my half back due to the courtesy of Bnaŕia. My almond brown orbs stared back at me tiredly, the bags under them becoming prominent due to the lack of proper sleep. The dark green colour of my dress contrasted with my skin, which previously being tanned for a few months due to the travels was now gradually turning pale, back to the original colour. My expression was one of distress and no matter how monotone I tried to appear it remained the same.

"Lady Lanette," I startled back to the present at the sudden sound of Lady Cathiel's voice. Her tone seemed hesitant as she looked up at me from beneath her long lashes. I turned towards her in question. She inhaled sharply and sat with her back tense.

"Why did you do it?" I raised a brow in question.

"What did I do m'lady?"

"Helping Lady Asteìla, Lord Rameron's wife." I sighed in exasperation. I was already tired of answering the same question over and over again.

"I knew what was about to happen," I met her eyes, "there was no way I could've turned a cold shoulder against someone's life." She returned the gaze. Her expression was one of confusion.

"You do not know whether they deserved the pain or not." I considered my answer. I truly didn't know at that time but still-

"I didn't at first but-" My tone was dubious, "-but now I'm quite sure they didn't. No one does, unless they killed someone or caused the death of someone, they don't deserve the same pain."

There was a tense silence. I shifted on my seat, turning to face the lady fully.

"You were just a maid. You could've been sentenced to death." I stared at her incredulously.

"I don't believe that," she opened her mouth to counter it but I continued, "and it has already transpired, there's nothing I or you can say or do to change it." She stared at me for a long moment before giving a small nod. For the first time in the last four days, I saw her lips curling into a small smile.

"You are a strange lady." I couldn't help but laugh at that. If I got a dollar for every time someone found my totally normal antics, in my opinion, strange I'll soon be becoming a millionaire.

"So are you," I replied lightly, not wishing the suddenly good atmosphere to shatter. Lady Cathiel smiled again and looked into the flame, settling into silence once again.

I snuggled back into the thick woollen comforter and mumbled a grateful thanks to Bnaŕia who was poking a rod into the gradually rising flame. Sleep had again evaded me for the most part of the night and I had an extremely irate day. Making an excuse for my throbbing head I had settled into the bed once again just as the sun was setting and the biting winds started blowing at the edge of the day. I wasn't exactly sleepy but I felt too cold in my cotton dress, which was now looking to be very improper in the mid of November, and the warm fireplace and soft wool of the oversheets had looked to be too comforting to resist. I stared out of the window as Bnaŕia shuffled around the room taking care of even the minute details. Before she herself settled on the small chair and warmed her hands on the flame. A knock on the door startled her out of her thoughts and she stood up abruptly to open the door. I looked over my shoulder to see Naimĺa standing before the door holding a paper wrapped large package. Her disapproval was imminent and her eyes swiftly took in the room before locating me and dropping into a stiff curtsy. I sat up slowly, more out of curiosity than anything else.

Bnaŕia looked back at me and I nodded to let her in. Grudgingly I threw off the covers and shivered as the cold air from the open door made contact with my skin. I swung my legs to the side and got up.

"M'lady, Lady Cathiel has sent this to you," I was surprised. After that little chat we haven't really talked although her attitude towards me had warmed a little and in many instances, I had her found her looking at me with a thoughtful expression.

"Lady Cathiel walks in the Gardens on the seventh level, sometimes, at the midnight. She wants you to join her today."

"She goes out of the house?" The maid rolled her eyes.

"She can't just live holed up in her room for years." She replied, "She just avoids the human company." I nodded and mumbled a small I'd love to! before Naimĺa swiftly dropped into a curtsy and moved out of the room. I was sure that my face was lit by a goofy smile because when I looked up I saw Bnaŕia smiling at me with huge joy mirroring my own. I couldn't help but let that small spark of hope be ignited again. Maybe, just maybe, I really will be able to find out what I am looking for.

I sighed and pulled the thick royal blue woollen coat around myself. My breath puffed into the foggy night as I waited in front of the gates of the seventh level for Lady Cathiel to arrive. The three guards eyed me with suspicion and I gave them an innocent smile before turning my waiting gaze towards the upcoming path. After almost ten minutes a sole figure came into view. The face covered by the shadow of the fancy hood and the dark skirt of the dress trailing a few inches behind the woman. The guards looked back and forth between me and the gradually approaching Lady Cathiel before realization dawned on them. They stood stiffly and gave a deep bow just as the Lady came to join us. She gave a small nod before moving into the gates and I followed her.

My eyes went around bewitched by the royal facade of the seventh level, so unlike and yet the same to the other levels. It was richly decorated by benches and decorative statues and fountains leading up to the great entrance. We turned a little before the entrance and headed towards the houses of healing and the gardens before it. The healing houses, which I had to visibly stop myself from exploring, were submerged in darkness only a few rooms lighted by the orange hues of fires. We turned to the left and headed into the gardens through the twisting and turning paths until we reached a small fountain in front of an ivy decorated bench. The Lady moved over and sat on the seat before gesturing to me to do the same.

We sat in silence for a while. I stared at the lush gardens taking in the serene beauty with awe. The fountain sparkled against the deep dark. The drop splashing around like crystals. The ivy twisted and turned around the polished marble forming intricate patterns. The-

"Lady Lanette," I tore my gaze away from the natural beauty and looked at Lady Cathiel in question. "why did my father want you to become my Lady companion?" I shrugged and looked back at the fountain. I had no answer for that as even I was wondering why. "He said that he feels you have much to learn." I cut out the from me part, not wanting to sound rude just yet. She stared at me for elaboration. I sighed and stared away. Quite ironic that the whole weeks I had been looking at her and she was looking away and now our positions seemed to be reversed. I just couldn't meet her eyes and even I did not know why. "He cares for you," I spoke softly, staring into the hazel orbs. Her eyes quirked in question, "Your father, I meant to say." She gave a scoffing sound and tensed. I wanted to make her believe that because I had seen that tired old man filled with regret a few days back. "He does, you know."

She took in my expression and then gave a mirthless laugh, shaking her head. Her black fringes bounced around as her head became free of the hood. "Then you don't know how many times he had forsaken me, Lady Lanette. For if you did you wouldn't be saying that." I quietened at that. The lady's tone was full of emotion, too deep to not indulge the listener. I remembered back to when Brilon had saidher father is embarrassed by her.. and wondered if the father really cared as I thought. Then why hadn't Brilon phrased his words well? "There is a ball soon," Her tone was now soft, more composed than before, "I got an invitation, like always," I coked my head to the side, facing her with almost my whole front to listen intently, "and also a note from my father saying not to attend as he cannot deal with the embarrassment." She finished looking at my incredulous expression. Was the father as much of a snake as his daughter was? Everything pointed to that but I couldn't shake that image of her father in his study from my mind. All that emotion had seemed too real for my comfort. I opened my mouth but was cut off by a small raise of her hand, "It was always like this, for the past many years." She faced the bubbling water. "Now tell me, Lady Lanette, if my father finds me to be dismay, enough to not want me to indulge in society, what does everyone else finds me to be?" I had nothing to say, "Maybe a disappointment, a hag or a waste of good money." She finished softly and wrung her hands in her lap. From the corner of my sight, I saw a lone tear leaving her left eye and falling into her lap. I inhaled sharply and placed my elbows on my knees and sitting in a slouched position. "A Lady who just disappeared from the eye or a lady with a severe lack of self-confidence, maybe?" I replied after a moment. She looked up to meet my eyes and I held the gaze wanting to validate a point. "Lady Cathiel, from what I see there is no reason for you to stay holed up in your house. You are perfectly capable of making decisions for yourself." I exhaled in disappointment, "it is your life. You deserve to make yourself happy." Lady Cathiel smiled softly, "And how can I do that Lady Lanette? How can I make myself happy when the world doesn't want me to? When the only label I have left is a failure? A hag? A disgrace?"

"Go to the ball!" I blurted out. We both sat in startled silence.

"Do what, Lady Lanette?"

I inhaled sharply, the idea of making more and more sense in my mind. "Go to the ball with confidence. Prove to them that you are not disappointed in yourself. Prove that it's your life and only you out of all the people in Gondor can have a say in it!" She stood up incredulously and moved to stand in front of the fountain. From that angle, it was easy to see the paling expression and tightened hands. "You want me to just barge into a party? What makes you think that my father shall take me?" Her tone was growing scathing. She took a step forward and stared at me with a cynical expression. "Would you beg him to?" and then she gave a light laugh, "or are you going to give a report back to my father how I am beginning to lose my mind in that cage! So that he can dispose of me in a moment. Or better! are you going to gossip to Brinielel so that she destroys the little authority I have left?!" Her tirade ended as a shriek. She leaned back at the fountain, visibly taxed at the breakdown. I stood up and took a few steps forward, stopping a little distance away to give her space. "Lady Cathiel, I am your lady companion, not Lord Dervorin's or God forbid Lady Brinielel." I took another step forward, "Whatever you and I talk about stays between us, that is what I can assure you of!" She looked up from beneath her wet lashes, "I cross my heart and hope to die." I had meant that as a joke but in the situation, my tone came out as a true promise more than a light-hearted comment. "What is your reason to help me?" I smiled, "So maybe we can both help each other against our demons?"

"Do you think it will work?" She asked timidly, "Going to the ball, I meant to say." I chewed on my lip contemplating my answer, "Honestly, I don't know. But I feel that if you don't help yourself no one else can." She exhaled softly. Leaving her leaning position she stood straight, looking more the lady she was than she ever had. "Father and Lady Brinielel will never agree to this." She said as we were moving back to the mansion. I looked at her sideways and smirked, "Who said that they need to know?" Even from beneath the velvet hood I could feel her incredulous look. She settled to shaking her head in exasperation and a small sigh.

In this little hour, we had become more friends than we could ever have been in that stuffy tea time.

"Honestly, you'll rock forest green," I said again making Naimĺa shoot me another glare. "I feel that my Lady looks best in Violet." She ground out. "But she always wears violet," I whined looking up at her. "She should not even go to the ball Lady Lanette. It is the worst idea you as her Lady companion could've come up with!" She snapped back.

"Quieten Naimĺa." The lady replied from the front of the room as she swings around in her dark green gown. "It is my decision and the way you are yelling every one we are hiding this endeavour from shall find out before tonight." She moved to the back of the screen to change into her less fine dress and I turned back to the delicious custard pie I was previously devoted to.

The lady looked much healthier these days than she had done a week before during our talk. We had become fast friends in the time while planning her grand entry to the November ball, which was occurring in honour of some sort of victory Lord Boromir and to a small extent Lord Faramir had brought home. We had agreed, even Naimĺa, on the point that it should be kept from anyone other than ourselves lest someone makes things hard for us. The ball was happening tonight and there was this sort of nervous and tangible energy around the room. No one knew the outcome but I was sure this night would turn out great for Cathiel.

She emerged a while later in her violet gown and swept into her seat as regally as possible. We sat in silence for a few minutes enjoying the warm tea and then chatted away about all the little topics until the sun began setting and Naimĺa called Cathiel to get ready. I gave her hand a small squeeze and whispered encouragement before leaving my room praying constantly that it will all end well.

I was woken from my deep slumber by the bang of my room's door and a frazzled Bnaŕia rushing in. I sat up and slowly rubbed the sleep from my eyes. She gestured around vaguely and mumbled incoherently. I swung my legs out of the comfort and stood up. I moved towards her with a filled glass of water from her side table. With a strict remark for her to sit, I waited for her to calm down before asking for the situation.

"Lady Cathiel she- It was a disaster- thrown out..." and then she promptly burst into tears. I should've stopped there to calm the little girl down but hearing that something had happened to Cathiel on a ball that had insisted for her to attend made my insides grow cold. The next thing I fathomed was me running through the grand hallway until I reached her rooms and burst through the doors. I saw Cathiel sitting on the carpeted floor near the crackling fireplace and Naimĺa holding her shaking shoulders. I quenched the sudden guilt at her broken image and stepped forward, the door closing behind me with a crisp sound. It alerted Naimĺa, who looked up from comforting Cathiel to my halted steps in front of them. I couldn't have prepared myself for the rage that entered her body right then. She sprang up to her feet and with two angry steps covered the distance towards me. "You!" Her fingers poked at my shoulder blades, "I told you that it'll end in a disaster. Told you to keep out of things you do not know about! But did you?" She grabbed my chin and sharply turned it to face Cathiel, "Look! Is this what you call a success? This is what I warned you against!" Cathiel took that moment to look at me. Her reddening eyes glazed with tears as she stared at my brown ones, I barely registered Naimĺa's voice, which had now grown soft due to tiredness, "Do you have nothing left to say?" Cathiel stared for an answer, her eyes searching mine. As if waiting for my mouth to form answers on its own accord, as it always did, but now I just stared at her helplessly with nothing left to say. "I-" I cut myself off and broke away from the gaze. At that moment I knew I had disappointed the only women who wanted my help. The guilt was running deep and whatever Brinielel had said days ago about me not knowing a thing about court came crashing back. I knew that this time, those tears were not exactly the fault of the Gondorian society that I doubted but the fault of my own false confidence and assurance. If I knew nothing then I should've just shut up and lived quietly. When I saved Lady Asteìla it had been due to pure chance not due to my own hands. I shouldn't have expected anything to turn out perfectly, after all, no matter how much it seemed to be, this was not a fairy tale but real authentic life in which my decisions can make or breaks others along with me. Overwhelmed, I dropped into a swift curtsy and left through the door. The last sound I heard being a quenched sob of Cathiel.

I laid restless facing the canopy of the bed. The cold winds blew outside seemingly seeping into the thick walls of the house. I got up along with the quilt and dragged it with me towards the crackling flame to get a bit of warmth. Soon I was lost staring into the deep red.

Last two days had been a long guilt trip. I've, rightfully, kicked myself for a mistake and had gone to apologize to Cathiel the very next morning but Naimĺa had been the one to answer the door and after a few scathing remarks, she had slammed the door on my face. With no other choice, I had come back and hoped against hope that she'll allow me to at least say a well placed sorry to Cathiel but to no avail which had led to me being angry as to why she was getting between our own matter until I heard the whole ordeal through Anaŕiel.

"I heard that it was fine for the first few hours into the ball," Anaŕiel said, stroking my hair as I sniffled with my head in her lap. "After the initial shock, everyone welcomed her, albeit hesitating, which was, of course, going to happen. She even got to chat and dance with a few men, it seems. Until when the toast was going to be taken, a few guards came in and caught her by the arms to drag her out. It imparted no little shock to the audience as it was highly improper but it seemed that Lady Radina, a close relative of Lord Denethor had pleaded to him to have such a sight removed from the hall. She accused the Lady Cathiel of threatening her and flirting with her spouse and many Ladies had seconded the notion." I leaned up and turned to stare at Anaŕiel cynically, "Cathiel would ne-" Anaŕiel dragged my head back to her lap and tucked a few strands behind my ear, "Child! How many times do I have to tell you? The court is run by the powerful. No matter how absurd that sounds, it the supreme say it, it is not absurd." I choked back a sob, "How is the life here so unfair? Is there no freedom?". She gave a soft sigh, "People who have freedom make the most mistakes because they learn practically in their life. In the court, those who leave any black mark of their lives opened don't survive, as people who love freedom do a lot." A moment of silence stretched between home, "Back in my worl- in my home, I had never experienced such pettiness. I had the freedom to live as I wanted, do what I wanted as long as I don't disappoint my parents I was happy. It is so sad to see everyone living their lives for someone else's eyes here." "Your home seems too good a place." Anaŕiel replied softly, "Yes, yes it was. Too good that I didn't appreciate it until I lost it." I said, wetting Anaŕiel's skirt with my wounded tears.

I tightened the covers around me just as the door opened. Knowing that it must be Bnaŕia, I didn't bother to look stood in front of the door for many minutes until I finally snapped and looked up to reprimand her. I stopped short. Cathiel and a very displeased Naimĺa stood before the closed door. Snapping out of the reverie I hastily made to stand up but stopped as Cathiel held up her hand. She came forward until she was standing facing me and sat down on the plush carpet. Her hands were folded in her lap and her skirt spread around her, dark green just like the fateful day. Her posture as regal as a lady of her status should have.

"Naimĺa, get tea for Lanette and me." Although her tone was still as soft and humble as before. "But-" She shot her a look and Naimĺa quietened. With another cynical but less angry look at me, she swept out of the room after a curtsy.

"Lady Cathiel-" I started after a few minutes of silence. "So I am a Lady once again?" I quieted. She sighed lightly.

"You were right," I looked at her in question, this time meeting her eyes. "This was something I had to do to save myself." I sat up straight looking at her with incredulity. "But what happened to yo-"

"That was inevitable." I chuckled in disbelief. "Inevitable?" I scoffed, "You were devastated."

"I said that it was inevitable, not that it didn't hurt me." I stared at her to elaborate which she didn't and then looked away to stare at the fire.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled later. "I-"

"Don't." my eyes snapped towards her. She held my gaze and then shuffled forward to clutch my hands in hers. "I don't want to hear your apology when what you said was right." I opened my mouth to disagree but she continued without breath,

"For the first time in last many years, I realized that people do not believe me to be a disgrace. It is only the clique of the friends of Brinielel that caused the misfortune."

"But the misfortune was too embarrassing!" I blurted out. She contemplated it for a moment. "You were kicked out!" I added instinctively. "I wasn't kicked out!" I raised a brow, "I walked out myself. It is true that the guards came but Lord Boromir politely came to my rescue and asked me if I would like to leave which I did!" I gasped in disbelief. "That son of a- He asked you to leave! On the basis of a complete lie. What a great commander he must make!" She swatted at my hands, "What language! He did it politely, at least." We stared at one another and then promptly burst into laughter. We were still cracking up, on things that weren't funny enough to be laughing about (maybe we lost a few screws in the past few dramatic days), when Naimĺa came back with Bnaŕia. Her eyes swept over us and when I was expecting a scathing tirade her eyes took in the pure joy on Cathiel's face and for just a faint second I saw them soften before she saw me noticing and tried to harden her expression but to no avail. I gave her a small smile and murmured a sorry which she accepted flustered.

I sipped on my tea as I listened to the pure joyful experience Cathiel was sharing

"-after years I danced and drank good red wine. Laughed among the new company and felt pretty in my old dress! I was truly mad at you for the first day but when the blind anger wore off I realized how truthful you were. Thank you so much, Lanette!" She smiled which I reflected. "Well, I really thought that I had led you astray for the first day. But now I am so glad that you finally seem to come out of your shell!"

"Although," she gave a light laugh, "I won't do that again." I raised a brow. "Why? Because you finally can?" My tone was sarcastic. She shrunk her eyes and inhaled. "Do you think I can? I mean the rumour-"

"Who cares?" I rolled my eyes and placed the empty cup on the table, "if you cared about the rumours then you shouldn't have gone to the ball." She still looked torn. "Look Cathiel, That day you quenched so many rumours. Like the ones of your disfigurement. What if another rumour circulates. Everyone knows you don't come out of the house, even if Lord Denethor didn't, they won't believe it." Her expression turned a bit sad, "Lanette, when the guards came in to drag me out, I first looked for my father. I-" She inhaled sharply, "I thought that he'll help but when I found him and I looked into his eyes, he just shook his head and turned away pretending as if he hadn't seen me. As if I didn't exist and turning away will make me go away. It really hurt." Her eyes glazed over before she gave a mirthless laugh. "I should've known." A few days back I would've been double minded. I would have still believed that he cared for his daughter but now looking at the hurt on Cathiel's face I only felt a surge of anger. How many double-faced snakes would I face? Did he only assign me to Cathiel so something I do embarrass her? I scoffed at the thought making everyone look at me.

"So we should prove to him that turning away won't make you go away." She raised her brow. "How can I Lanette? I don't even want to see his face." I smirked as I looked back as Bnaŕia, who after seeing my expression shrunk her eyes in silent question. "I heard that there is going to be a winter festival in a few days." Cathiel gave a laugh in disbelief and Naimĺa choked on thin air. "I don't think that's a good idea." Bnaŕia, for the first time in two weeks, commented incredulously. Just as I straightened to reply Cathiel's voice interrupted from behind, "Well I think that's a great idea!" My head snapped towards her mischievous expression and I laughed, "I second that!" I raised my hand to the effect and the room burst into laughter, although Naimĺa and Bnaŕia were more exasperated than mirthful.

As I looked into the lively look of Cathiel I wondered how had all the ladies of clique managed to keep such a lively soul under bounds. I asked Naimĺa the same thing when I was going back to my rooms and she accompanied me on my request. "She would still have been under bounds, Lady Lanette. Had it not been for you."

"Me?" I questioned curiously. She looked to the front not wanting to meet my eye.

"You have that quality m'lady, the one that inspires confidence and loyalty without a word." I bit my lip, not knowing how to reply. Never had I ever heard someone say something so deep about me. "It makes me wonder," I gazed at her sideways, "what was the atmosphere you were brought up in to have such open ideas about life? From where did you learn such confidence and attained such smarts?" I looked back at the front. "I was born in a society very different from this," I mumbled softly before quickening my step. I knew that if I strayed too long on such a topic I shall be cornered where I wouldn't be able to answer anymore.

* * *

 ** _To be continued..._**


	16. (PART-I) Chapter 15: The Festival

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR.

 **A/N:** I sincerely thank you for waiting so patiently. Recently I have been so busy with schedules and a few family gatherings that I couldn't take time to write the whole chapter. I apologise for being a sucky updater.

 ** _Faye50free:_** _When I saw your review I was really excited because you were also the first person to review my first ever fanfic. Your review really brought a huge smile on my face. I am extremely flattered that you find my story good enough. I hope you enjoy reading the future chapters too! Stay Happy :)_

 ** _LightsCDark:_** _It is really always awesome to see the readers felling connected with the character's emotions. I have the side story of Cathiel planned out in my mind, and of all the other characters I am currently writing. Hope you enjoy the future chapters too! Keep smiling :)_

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 ** _HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY! R &R._**

* * *

 ** _Chapter 15:_** _The Festival._

"...take care to properly cover the pastry," Brilon shouted across the kitchen and turned towards me to continue our talk before he saw the small stable boy leaning over the boiling pot. He whirled back. "You Lad! run along. I don't want to see you here without being properly washed." The startled boy looked down at his mud-caked shoes in embarrassment.

"I said run along boy!" and in a moment the boy vanished from sight. Brilon twisted back with a frown and wiped the beads of sweat rolling from his forehead, quite an amazing feat in such cold weather. He looked over just as I finished the last of my tea in a large gulp, the hot fluid scorching my insides.

"You come down to the kitchens too often for a lady. People will think that your lavish room is somehow lacking" he said with a click of his tongue.

"I mean it does lack comfort" I commented as I leaned back from the counter, "it's too posh for my lonely self... but Enough of that! Oh so benevolent! You were explaining about the festival." His gaze swept through the working of the kitchens. Satisfied with the order, he frowned back at me.

"You were the one who said a few days ago Lass 'Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit' have you forgotten it already as you seem to be using it a lot these days." I snorted into the water I was drinking. A passing maid, hearing the undignified snort, looked at me with startled eyes. "But it is a great form of amusement." I smirked at Brilon. He muttered something under his breath but continued his previous explanation.

"It is to celebrate the coming of winter," he explained, "A prayer to hope that the winter passes peacefully without any tormenting nights or storms." I wanted to differ from his opinion and the opinion of all those who prepared me by saying that the winter in Gondor wasn't cold enough. Even the fireplaces weren't that effective against the biting cold. I was already beginning to miss internal heating systems of houses. Here the stone walls rarely acted as insulators. I was pitiful of the people that lived in the dungeons without any proper means to keep warm.

Shaking away the thoughts, I listened back into the conversation. "It's full of laughter and happiness and romance," he paused to scoff at the thought, "too pitiful seeing all the unwed ladies being chased after and the many fitting men being ogled at." I listened with amusement, instinctively making hilarious scenarios in my head. "The people have become too thick, immersed in their luxuriant lives." He finished speaking to pop a small tart into his mouth.

"It is but for a day!" I interjected, "and I have not seen people being as care free as you like to make out." He seemed to ponder over his words.

"It is the cause of War Lass!" His voice was a low murmur when he finally commented as if he didn't want anyone to over hear his words.

"The war?" I whispered back and leaned forward on the counter to listen well.

"The battles with Mordor has caused all this distress." He said and then stopped as he motioned me over to the back of the large room beside the fire. In contrast to the bustle on the other end this one was surprisingly empty, maybe because it was a relaxing place and in the presence of the hawkish eyes of Brilon, no one wanted to take the lash so early in the morning.

"Why are we on a war with Mordor? Can't we have something like a truce with their people?" I asked just as I sat down and adjusted my skirt. As I looked up I noticed his incredulous expression. Nothing could have prepared me for his harsh tone. "Lass! It is Mordor! Why would we make truce with Orcs?" I gasped startled. "What do you mean? Are there only orcs in Mordor?" I asked. He leaned back as if to gauge whether I was joking or not. For a moment his expression turned sour and contemplating as if he wasn't sure what to make of my self. I cleared my throat in an effort to get back attention, my heart drowning a bit when I realized that if I kept this up even Brilon wouldn't accept my made up story. He turned his eyes away, looking over the counters to the other edge of the room. It could've been taken as alertness towards the kitchen but the non moving blacks of his eyes suggested something else. I spared another look at his tense shoulders.

"I am sorry Brilon," He raised a brow at my meek sound, still looking forward, "I'm not sure if I was being insensitive..." My voice trailed off after a moment. He gave a scoff, which by his look was directed at some of his own thoughts. "Nah Lass!" he said as turned to face me, all the signs of the previous anguish masked from his face. "Me was telling you, ah yes- Mordor," he continued, "it is governed by orcs. Their armies have intensified in the past years and now Gondor is at constant war with them. They say a past Lord has roused again." He looked back at the front wall, "It is why the people are gloomy. Never is it easy to say goodbye to the ones you love and for the sake of war... it becomes even harder." A moment of silence stretched between us. I stared at my wrung hands.

A while later just as I got up to leave, a reaching hand of Brilon stopped me, "Lass," he murmured, high enough for me to hear, "I hope that a day comes when you trust someone here enough to tell them the truth about your past. No matter how hard trust seems to you this day." I looked at him startled and he met my eyes with such a knowing look that it made my heart squeeze in my chest. With nothing better to do, I gave a laugh in disbelief and turned to walk away, all the while ignoring Anaria's concern about my gradually paling complexion and a pair of burning eyes on my rear.

* * *

"M'Lady," Bnaŕia's voice snapped me out of the increasingly depressing tale of "Thee a flower that wilts; among the petals, thy fell."

"Lady Lanette asks you to inform her of the dress you will wear to the festival, she says that it needs to be stitched and sewn in just a few days." I placed the edge of my little finger inside the book and closed it to give her my attention.

"I'm not sure whether I'll go or not," I replied. Bnaŕia looked surprised at the answer.

"You need to M'Lady." She said and moved forward a few steps. Her voice, for the first time, conveyed a hint of furry, a sign that she wanted to validate her point. I raised a brow at that and settled more snugly into my chair in front of the fire place.

"Would it be thought inappropriate for me to bunk it up?" I asked her. At her confused expression, I rectified, silently making a point to drop out any figures of speech that seem to be inappropriate in these times, although at most times differentiation between such speech seemed impossible to me. What I thought was cool was not so much. "I mean, to not go?"

She slouched in front of my chair, "Of course m'lady, people will talk against both m'lady and Lady Cathiel if you don't!" she whined. I rolled my eyes. So this was the real problem.

"That doesn't matter," I said, moving to open my book, "I don't think that they exactly love any of us even now." Bnaŕia's pale hand softly closed the book again, forcing me to look up at her.

"M'lady pardon me for being rude but it is the early days of Lady Cathiel marking her lost place again in the society.", she inhaled sharply, "You will need to be there with her."

"I don't know-" I started.

"You shall love it m'lady." Bnaŕia cut in. Her voice was trembling a little and her face flushed red. The sparkle in her eyes showed off her excitement, "It is one of the days when you can see the beauty of the grey skies against the grand marble of Minas Tirith.", she sighed softly, a smile quirked at her lips and she looked beyond as if imagining it all playing in front of her. It was a good change to see her talk so passionately about something. I placed the book at the side and listened to her tirade, "They say m'lady that if you look right enough you can see the top of the city merging into the heavenly skies."

"Have you ever seen it? The way you describe it?" I asked. My mind trailed back to all the skyscrapers back home. How would Bnaŕia feel if she ever saw such huge buildings rising even above the clouds? I smiled in nostalgia.

A little of the light seemed to fade from her face, "I haven't been so lucky yet m'lady but maybe this year!" Her voice was filled with thick emotion as she finished. She seemed to love this festival a lot, for whatever reason, and I hoped that whatever thought it was that made her come out of her timid self for even a small while stuck with her forever or even solidified into something even better.

"I hope you do.", I said with a smile, "I'll go with Lady Cathiel but only for a while, not exactly feeling social these days." It seemed to satisfy her and she got up to straighten her dress and stand in a more respectful pose.

"M'lady what shall I answer to Lady Cathiel about your dress?" She asked a moment later.

"What am I supposed to say. Please ask her to keep it simple and warm. Dark colours will be awesome." I replied opening the page and finding the lost line.

"Maybe amethyst in colour?" she supplied. I looked up and squinted my eyes in thought.

"The dark purple one?", I asked, "Yes m'lady."

"If you say so..." I was unsure of the colour as I didn't frequent it.

"I'm sure that it'll suit you m'lady!" She said smiling as if reading my uncertainty from expressions.

"What ever you say." I replied and shook my head in amusement before returning to the love of the lady painter of the first age and the tragedies that followed her throughout the course.

* * *

"It has come to my notice that you are quite an avid reader, Lanette," Cathiel said as we paced across the gardens of the houses of healing late into the night. The sparkle of the full moon illuminated the path enough for us to walk comfortably. I turned my head to face her,

"I do love a good book," I answered after a bit.

"Then you shall love the great library," she replied with a smile, "it has the greatest collection of lore and books in all of Middle-Earth!" she stopped and turned towards me. I could feel the love that she had for her city from many of her talks. A pity is that she had to fore sake it for many years.

"So I've heard.", I said, but then my face turned sour as I remembered the complications due to which I haven't been able to start my hunt yet. "But I can't exactly enter it, you need to belong to a great station if you want to.", my tone was complaining and I tried to wrap the anguish in a quick laugh.

"Ah. I had forgotten. It's been a long while since I last frequented it." Cathiel said nodding. She started to walk down the path back towards the home and I followed beside her.

"I do miss it though.", she sighed as we reached the gate adjoining the sixth and seventh levels. She clapped her hands once and turned to me in excitement, "How about we go there tomorrow eve, it shall serve for the pleasure of us both." I couldn't have hidden the smile that came along with those words even if I wanted to. Finally! I felt a spark of hope warming my insides. Maybe, just maybe...

"Truly! can we?" I asked, my voice loud with pleasure.

"Of course. There never has been a problem before, there won't be now.", she seemed to portray the same excitement that I was feeling, just for different reasons.

"Wow, that's awesome! Truly thank you." I said and squeezed her hands in mine once before entering the path that led to the back door of the mansion. She gave a small laugh, "and now you are making me wonder why you want to see it so passionately."

I chose not to answer. Giving a light laugh I exchanged greetings with her and departed towards my room.

I was unbuckling the warm cloak and was about to situate myself in front of the fireplace with a warm blanket when Bnaŕia came into the room. I looked up surprised at her knock and soft voice as it was way past midnight at that point. "M'lady," she greeted, dropping into a swift curtsy. I placed the cloak around the chair and moved forward to grab the blanket. "What is it Bnaŕia?" I asked from across the room, "why come here so late? Could you not sleep well?". She came forward and took the blanket from my hands. "Not at all, m'lady," she replied, "when you were out walking with Lady Lanette, Lord Dervorin requested your presence." I raised a brow at that. "Why would Lord Dervorin want to see me so late at night?" I wondered out loud, looking at her curiously, "I don't know m'lady but he is waiting for you yet, in his study. It would not favour you to be so late!" I groaned and squeezed my hands over my shoulders in order to release the tender tiredness. "But I don't want to meet him," I said making a face. I looked at Bnaŕia when she made a sound of protest. "Don't you remember what he did to Cathiel at the party?" I countered. Then made a scoffing sound, "I might just lose my temper if I meet him! He is just so fake." Bnaŕia's expression turned troubled and she whined lightly, "No no milady you must not say something like that about him! He is still a Lord of high station. Besides it would not be good for you to behave with him in this way.". She spoke the truth and it made me vexed. I murmured incoherently and went to don a shawl on top of the dress. It was too cold to walk out and about without proper cover. "Come on." I told Bnaŕia and exited my room.

I walked through the hallways slowly enough that it took us almost ten minutes to reach the study on the lower level. Inhaling sharply I took time to collect myself before knocking on the wooden oak. A crisp 'come in!' served as cue. Bnaŕia stopped at the entrance and I opened the door and stepped into the room. It was still as vast and furnished as I remembered. Lord Dervorin sat on the chair with even more grace than previously. I gave a curtsy and moved forward to stand before the table at his motion. "Sit Lady Lanette." his voice was polite yet commanding. With a single distasteful glance at his face I sat on the plush seat at the right. Straightening my shoulders I glanced up to meet his eyes. His face was adorned with a mix of amusement and happiness, or so it seemed.

"Not even one week with my daughter and you did enough to make her visit a royal ball. It seems that I was right about you Lady Lanette.", he said. I couldn't help but cut in.

"A visit that caused her much embarrassment, you mean, and a look into the face of a father who- once again, refused to help her.", my tone was cutting as I replied. His face turned hard in just a moment. Sitting up straighter, he clasped his hands in front of him on the table.

"Do you even realize what you are saying, Lady Lanette? In front of whom?", he said, his voice which previously seemed friendly now was masked with a hint of hardness.

"Yes, of course I do!", I said, my voice rising in contempt "How can you even face me after that? God forbid how will you ever face Cathiel. All the week I told her again and again that she had a misunderstanding with you and that you still cared for her and then she needs you and you don't help her!" I slammed my hands on the table, half standing up. He recoiled back clearly startled.

"That's enough-", he started but I wasn't finished.

"No, it is not enough! You sat with such pessimism in front of me and asked me to help her and the next day you turn away from her. Are they not double standards?", my voice dropped incredulously as I remembered his plead made weeks ago.

"Lady Lanette!", this time his voice was hard and loud enough to reverberate across the study. The barely concealed fury in his face made me flinch back to reality. I was yelling at a man who is a Lord here, a leader of the battle victories and one of the few top lords of the court. I snapped back to present, no matter what I still had no power above him whereas he could make sure that I never wear or eat something again. I gulped, silently cursing myself and sat again slowly, making sure to face him.

"You should not speak of the matter you know nothing of! Just because I gave you enough lease to be a Lady companion does not mean that I shall overlook all of what you do or say. Such insolence!" he said, considerably more collected now. He inhaled for a moment and the got up. His seat made a sharp sound. Going to the front he pulled open the window that overlooked the garden. Cold biting air, smelling of fresh flowers invaded the room in just a few gusts. I drew the shawl around me tightly in an effort to block the cold. I looked up as he spoke, his back towards me.

"Years ago, Lady Cathiel had angered the oldest daughter of Lord Malvelig, the Lady Estaria, look at what it made of her now. She has the power to destroy a person's standing in society.", he said.

"Are you not a top-notch Lord too?", I asked now growing confused. He turned to face me and clasped his hands at the back. He inclined his head.

"It is the benevolence of Lord Stewart. Still, Lord Malvelig is the right hand of Lord Stewart, if I go against him I destroy the fates of my whole family. As much as it breaks my heart, that is why I did not say anything.", he replied.

"But I thought that Lady Brinielel was the one who staged this.", I stood slowly, now even my voice was a great sign of my confusion.

"What is even much torturous is that my second daughter follows all that Lady Estaria does. I wasn't heeding of it when this started but now my daughter has committed enough sins to destroy her own life if they get revealed.", he said, dragging a hand through his hair in frustration. His actions were disconcerting to see even for me. For a moment he was the calm collected lord, the next he is commanding man worth of all the battle titles and he next he is a tired man who is stranded without a choice.

"Who'll-", I started. He raised a hand to effectively cut me off.

"Even if my daughter believes that Lady Estaria favours her, she does not. If I speak out of line she shall not wait to end her the way she did to Cathiel.", he said, his voice showing that he wasn't backing away from his decision. I stared at him incredulously. So to save Brinielel he can throw away everything? He seemed to read my mind.

"Lady Lanette, how can I possibly see both of my daughters being victim to the same situation.", he asked.

"So you'll just forsake Cathiel? To save Brinielel! How is that just?", I spluttered over my words. He seemed to consider it for a moment.

"If I would have wanted to forsake her I would not have chosen a Lady companion, as there hasn't been one in past many summers.", he finally said sitting back and leaning in the chair. I laughed in disbelief, not knowing what to make of that.

"What can I possibly do?", I asked. I truly didn't know how could I make their problems go away when I had my own to worry about.

"Just what you have been doing Lady Lanette.", he replied. "You have done in little more than a week what no one's been able to do in years."

"I didn't exactly do anything.", I told him slightly irate. It felt these days as everyone was making up something that I didn't even do. It was the choice of Cathiel to move on herself, all I did was listen to her tirade.

"Sometimes all a person needs is an excuse to let go.", he replied with a smile as if he knew how frustrated I was with the situation. I scoffed and looked away.

"So glad to be that excuse." I murmured sarcastically. We sat in silence for a while. I looked at his shelf, trying to read the titles of books in hopes to find something that might help me. It had become more of a habit by then, to stare at things in hopes they give me the clues to go back.

"It makes me glad to think of that Lady Lanette. I hope that the future brings better days for my daughters and yourself. I long to see my family joined again.", he finally said getting up. I got up from my seat and inclined my head in respect. After listening to him I once again couldn't think of him in a bad light. He had his reasons. I nearly laughed out loud at my own line of thought. Just a few days back I had agreed whole heartily to everything Naimĺa and Cathiel said about him and now...

"Aren't you one sweet talker...", I couldn't help but murmur as I dropped into a curtsy.

"Lady Lanette?", he asked. I didn't realize that maybe he still was paying me attention and looked at him startled.

"I said, that's sweet.", I said in a pathetic attempt to cover up, which he thankfully accepted as he beamed at me.

"I heard about my daughter's will to go to the festival, and I hope that you plan to accompany her.", he added just as I was about to leave. I made a 180 and stared at him.

"How can you know?"

"Lady Lanette, I am the master of the mansion. No one enters or leaves the house without my knowledge, be it be the first light of morning or deep darkness of the night. In the light of this, I shall just inform you that no one here plans a thing I do not know of.", he replied in amusement at my spooked expression. I made a strangled sound.

"Well, that's hella creepy.", I replied. His brow furrowed in question at my language.

"Lady Lanette?"

"I mean- wow what a hobby.", I couldn't help the sarcasm that seeped into my voice and then proceeded to look at him wondering if I had again talked inappropriately.

"I need to m'lady.", he said giving a bark of laughter.

"I'm sure you do.", I said, nodding my head. I took my leave, leaving behind an amused Lord Dervorin and wondering how to tackle the situation when Cathiel would inevitably wonder why I wasn't against her father anymore, and over one night that is. I sighed tiredly as I got back to my room. My stay in Gondor was getting more tangled and complex by the day.

* * *

The next morning I got up later than usual, due to the late night business yesterday. I swiftly dressed and with a quick sip of morning tea, skipping the breakfast I went to join Cathiel for our escapade to the library. She greeted me with a smile just as I reached the hallway outside her room. From the dark flowy dress and the embroider cloak she seemed ready to leave. "Lanette," she greeted with a nod, "and here I was thinking that you had changed your mind." she said. We started walking to the lower levels, pointedly ignoring the looks of all the servants. After the incident she hadn't been out of her quarters except for the nightly walks. People were still not used to her presence in open air. Naimĺa and Bnaŕia trailed a few feet behind us. "Of course not!" I replied laughingly. "The excitement of yesterday haven't quite worn off yet." I waved my hand dismissively. She turned her face towards me, "What excitement?". Had I not had all the years of dealing with surprising ordeals of the patients I would've choked on my own spit. In sudden panic, I looked towards the houses. A moment later I stared back at her. "What else? The walk last night." She nodded slightly but didn't get a chance to reply as we reached the gates of the seventh level. The guards, used to Lady Cathiel's night adventures weren't lucky enough to hide their surprised expressions at her arrival so early in the morning. They bowed at the waist and straightened at her motion. "MiLady, what purpose brings you 'ere at this light?", one of them asked politely. Cathiel gave a little smile and told them of her will to go to the library. They couldn't refuse and without hesitation drew away their spears and opened the heavy iron bars. We walked in silence. I was seeing this part of the seventh level for the first time, so kept quiet, taking in all the finely crafted details of the pillars. The great tapestries adorning the grand hallway. My eyes swept across the area to see many servants stopping to whisper behind their hands. Meeting our eyes they hastily bowed before moving away. My eyes went to Cathiel. Her head was slightly sagged, but still she kept her shoulders straight with grace. Her eyes were taking in the view with a barely masked longing which made my heart reach out to her. In that moment I realized that maybe my affinity with her was because I believed that she had also lost her way and didn't know how to get it back, just as I visualised myself these days.

We turned a right to come still in front of one of the largest doors I had seen in Gondor. Extending up to the roof of the palace, the great polished wood was carved with the finest craftsmanship one could ever imagine. I would have stood there to gawk for a long while had Cathiel not moved forward and inside, the guards opening the door for her. I followed closely behind her. The inside of the library was even grander, if that was even possible. Rows upon rows of huge shelves arranged in orderly fashion across the hall. It wasn't as big as some of the modern libraries in Earth but still, according to the standard of education I was coming to see here, this was a damn large achievement. The centre of the hall was lined with round tables and chairs. On the very front was a huge desk with an old man sitting at the middle. His long white beard was extending below the desk and his back was hunched over scattered pieces of parchment. At the sound of the door he looked up slowly. I could see the shakiness of his self as we got closer. He squinted his eyes at us, "Children, how can I help you both?", His voice was kindly in fashion. "Just as you've always done us favours Master Forlong, I hope you can continue to do so in the future.", Cathiel replied. at the sound of her voice he gasped and leaned forward. "By my beard! My child Cathiel is it you?", he asked tenderly. "It has been long, Master Forlong.", she smiled.

"Too long, my child, too long." His attention turned towards me and I gave him a polite nod, feeling a bit uncomfortable under his squinting eyes. "This, Master Forlong," Cathiel said, putting a hand on my arm, "is my lady companion and a good friend Lady Lanette."

"Good to meet you."

"I don't believe I have seen you before m'lady."

"Yes, uh," I cleared my throat before continuing, "I'm new in town." He gave me a thoughtful look and turned to Cathiel. "Are you here for a book or just to meet this poor old man?" he asked with a twinkle in his eyes. "A little bit of both, maybe, but Lady Lanette was quite impatient to visit the library hence I decided to visit." He turned towards me, "Like to read my lady?"

I nodded, "It is nice to read a good book once in a while." I replied. He smiled at the words. "Then go along my ladies, see what you want and read what you may. Ask me for help if you can't find what you need."

"Thank you, Master Forlong," Cathiel made to move away before stopping again, "Oh! master Forlong, I might not be able to come here as frequent but if Lady Lanette comes could you please allow her to read the books she pleases." I stared at him expectantly. "If you my child asks for a favour how can I refuse." Cathiel gave a laugh and moved along motioning to me over her shoulder.

* * *

 _'The tales of the great Tarannon', 'The bard of Anduin', 'The siege of North men' 'The might of Hyarmendacil', 'Invasions of Wainriders'._ My fingers drifted upon the many titles.

"Anything worthwhile yet?", Cathiel who was calmly reading a novel at the nearest table asked, closing her book. "Not yet." I murmured before stretching my back and starting the hunt again. In the past two days I had found about twenty huge volumes that might have any clues. My search had now became a great source of curiosity for Cathiel, as anyone with a working mind can look at me and tell that I wasn't just searching through thousands of titles just for fun. 'It has turned dark Lanette," Cathiel said, getting up to leave. "You should come back early, tomorrow we need to be ready for the festival." She came to stand beside me. I turned over the book in my hands, _'The war with the horse lords.'_

"I'll come back later," I told her, smiling lightly, "you should go to rest. Tomorrow is your second grand entry remember? You need to calm your nerves."

"What is the most surprising is that I feel at peace. The festival shall be in the presence of the public hence they can't pull anything petty. The people might be superstitious but they are fair.", she said and gathered her belongings. "Naimĺa!" she called softly and the said woman appeared a moment later. Just before taking her leave she turned towards me, "I shall not ask you to forsake whatever you are doing so passionately, but I do hope you take enough rest to be yourself the coming morn'." I laughed lightly and shooed them both away with a promise to take the designated rest.

* * *

I turned the last pages of the eighth book and slammed it shut with a slam. Four hours of constant flipping through these volumes and nothing worth enough for me to stop and read. I looked out of the window,. The dark had grown deeper, without the moonlight the gardens outside appeared to be almost haunted. I buried my head in my arms in disappointment. Two days in and I had not even searched enough. If I kept going like this it shall take me no less than a few years before I search this whole library well enough. The thought itself was quite depressing. Remembering the promise with Cathiel I took hold of three next volumes and placed all the others back in the shelf. I ticked off the names I had already looked into from the list and tucked it into the top most book. With a fleeting glance at the table and satisfaction with the order, I walked towards the front of the library. Master Forlong looked up at my approaching figure and shook his head incredulously at seeing the thick bindings in my arms. "Child, you have been taxing yourself too much for it to be a light read.", I shook my head lightly and placed the books in front of him. "You do realize that it could lead you into trouble if one of the Lords find a mere Lady companion looking into the great lore of battle?" he asked with a furrow in his brow.

"This is precisely why I trust you to not say anything," I said and sighed softly at his exasperated expression. "I need to Master Forlong."

"I hope that it is of the utmost importance child." He quietly reprimanded. I nodded in confirmation and waited patiently as he wrote the book numbers in his thick register. "Where are the quills?", he said looking from above his glasses. I groaned in annoyance. "Oh shoot! I'll get them at once." I said before leaving for the table I had previously occupied. Finding the quills lying on the floor, I picked them up and slowly moved back, trying to stifle the ever emerging yawns. I had just reached the last shelves before the doors of the library clicked open. "My Lord Boromir! Such a pleasant surprise." Came the voice of Master Forlong. I halted in my steps and hid behind the nearest shelf. I had been warned by Cathiel the very first day that studies for the ladies was only thought well until the cheap romantic thrills. A woman searching about the ancient wars and battle strategies would not be taken well. Especially someone who wasn't even allowed here alone in the first place. I had been lucky enough to avoid any of the Lords that came into the library in the past two days as they waited for Master Forlong to bring them the books. Just my luck that I had to come across the most respected Lord when I was breaking at least four of their moral codes. I cursed lightly and bent quietly. With just one shelf separating me and the two men I could hear all their words quite well. "It has come to my notice that you have been retiring from the library later than usual." Came the voice of who could only be Lord Boromir.

"Just a little work my lord," Forlong replied. It was quiet for a moment and I suddenly wanted to see what was happening. Quenching my desire, I reprimanded myself. It seemed that I wanted to dig my own grave as early as possible.

" 'The might of Hyarmendacil', 'Battle won: The first age', 'To win the leagues'... Has some battle commander been here?"

"No my lord."

"Then why the books?" the Lord's voice had an edge to it.

"Just for leisure reading, my lord." Forlong's voice was becoming strained.

"For leisure reading?" Lord Boromir repeated incredulously, "for whom did they serve as pleasure?" A moment of thick silence hung across the library. I chewed my bottom lip in anxiousness. "Master Forlong, according to my guards only two ladies have been frequenting this area for the past few days. I do not want to hear the Lords complaining about your lack of care for customs and traditions." he said, his commanding voice reverberating across the hall. "I shall take care to not displease my lord. Can I ask what you really are here for, milord?". For a moment I thought that maybe Lord Boromir would laugh it off, what else could he visit the library for except for information. But when he spoke his voice was lower than before but with much steel. I strained myself to hear his next words. "I hear much darkness these days, Master Forlong, people whispering in the halls, in the court, in the balls... The times are dark and hopeless enough to conspire in desperation."

"My lord!" Master cried, "That would be treason. In all the eighty years of my life I had only lived to serve this country! It is the worst strike to see my lord's suspicion upon myself." his voice broke at the end. Another silence. Then a deep chuckle. "Of course Master, the day is not soon to come when I shall have my suspicions set upon you. I trust your decisions and know that whatever you do is for our service alone. I come here to inform you Master Forlong what my most trusted men should know." A relieved sigh. Another laugh. The beating of my heart. I inhaled once in an effort to cool down. Indirectly it seemed to me as if Lord Boromir was ay first warning Master Forlong against providing us with literature. They talked for a few more moments. The Lord did not say anything more to strain Master Forlong and before long he left asking Master to close the library and go to rest sooner, in heed of his declining health.

A few minutes after the sharp clang of the door I emerged from behind the shelf, trying in vain to smooth out the wrinkles from the skirt. Master Forlong gave me an ironic look from beneath the glasses. "Child-", he started, looking once at the books and then towards my face. "Please this once!", I pleaded. He sighed and with another un sure look extended two of the three volumes towards me. I gave him a grateful smile and with a few words of farewell went out of the library.

I had just turned onto the last parallel hallway leading to the outside gardens when I met with the back of Lady Brinielel. Making a quick turn I swiftly moved back to the right hallway and pressed my back against the cold stone wall. 'What great luck!' I thought exasperatedly, 'First Lord Boromir and now her!'. I looked down at the two thick volumes held in my arms and shook my head with a quiet curse. If Lady Brinielel sees me right now, she'll not even spare a moment to tear me down right here in the hallway, especially when I had the books signing my own fate. The sound of footsteps moved closer to the turn and I pressed myself as back as possible could, with the speed of a snail I started moving parallel to the front wall in an effort to get away. I gave up as I looked to right, my plan didn't exactly seem probable as this hallway extended far beyond the opening door and getting deeper into the seventh level could mean me getting lost in this huge area along with the books a good Lady doesn't read, which shall potentially get not only me but my partners in crime, Cathiel and Master Forlong into trouble.

"My lady it is too dark now, the midnight had passed a few minutes ago, we should go back. It is not proper.", came the whining voice of Èhara. "Quiet!", Brinielel hissed, "Lord Boromir shall turn this hallway at any moment. It is a great chance for lifting myself up in his eyes."

"But-", quietened abruptly.

"Oh my Lord Boromir! What a coincidence!" cried, someone. It took me a moment to realise that this voice was of none other than Brinielel just overly sweet. "Lady Brinielel, the pleasure is all mine." Lord Boromir greeted in a polite voice.

My poor self pressed up against the wall started shaking. I stuffed my fingers into my mouth in an effort to keep quiet.

"What is a Lady like you doing so late here in the hallway, without a companion?", Lord Boromir extended the conversation.

"Oh my Lord!", Brinielel cried sweetly. From her tone I could just imagine her batting her eyes in front of the Lord, which was infinitely disgusting as she was ten years younger than me and even more so from the Lord. "We had a company of Ladies in the eve', yet coming here I saw a poor boy and couldn't help but drag him to the houses of healing." Yeah as if! I nearly snorted at the far-fetched tale, "I was just tucking him to bed and lost track of time." A Lady who can't even tuck her socks in her fancy shoes tucking a poor boy into the bed, I suppressed the urge to jump out and own her up to her petty doings. "A lady of your station shouldn't walk this late alone," came the voice of Lord Boromir. Honestly what was the big deal? Her house was legitimately just ten minutes of leisure walking away. "I shall accompany you my lady." he finished and I nearly protested out loud. How was I supposed to get home escaping both of them if they were going in the same direction. I stood there groaning at my fate as Lord Boromir and Lady Brinielel left leaving behind a flurry of giggles and sloppy flattery (from the lady). I peeked slightly from behind the wall to see Lady Brinielel clinging at the Lord's arm and batting her lashes up at him prettily, just as they went out into the dark gardens.

I waited for ten minutes exactly before moving out into the gardens myself. Walking briskly I weaved my way up to the gate of the seventh level and waited patiently for Lord Boromir to return, so I could leave unnoticed. My arms ached badly because constant holding of the books. After a long while the Lord returned, walking back into the courtyard. I walked half in the shadows so I could pass unnoticed in the clear yard. Lord Boromir with the warrior's instinct took in his surroundings in a heartbeat. As I passed him he halted and I could hear him turning but before he could call to stop me a guard came up to inform him of something. Taking my chance I didn't stop and soon was out of the gates and half jogging down the path to mansion.

* * *

The next day dawned bright, for a winter day that is. The sun was out in all it's glory, not that warm but still taming the biting winds a bit. I was shaken awake by Bnaŕia who, for all the love of the festival insisted that I had to get ready at nine in the morning even if the festival really was going to begin at about four in the afternoon. I got into the dark purple velvet dress and groaned softly as the warm fabric settled against my skin. Bnaŕia insisted on making a better style as compared to my previously simple buns and knots. She weaved a braid into the back and tied such a smooth bun that I had to wow over it for a while. I put in the jewel fitted earrings and necklace borrowed from Cathiel. They were little droplets of Amethyst lined with softly shining silver. Not flashy but graceful enough to make a statement. The makeup in Middle-Earth, was the all organic face powders and blushes and liquid lipsticks. After much hassle with Bnaŕia I put on the pale lip colour. She didn't understand why I didn't want to powder my face and I wasted ten times in vain telling her about foundation before I realised that I was speaking out of my turn. Hastily covering up the conversation I got up from the dresser. Maybe it was the all organic diet or the infinitely fresh air and water, this one year in Middle-Earth had changed my skin. Pimples were now an old talk and I hadn't had such clear skin in a long while. "You look beautiful, m'lady", said Bnaŕia, done with fluffing out my skirt and looking quite pleased with her choice of colour. I looked once more into my reflection in the mirror. One thing that I had to give to Middle-Earth was all the pretty parties and balls that to me seemed straight out of the fairy tales. I silently vowed to let all the worries go for at least today, and enjoy myself to the fullest. After all every one needed a Good Friday night after a long week especially if the week was as long as mine.

I went to meet Cathiel in her quarters a little before four. She stood facing the mirror and squeezing her hands in anticipation. Her royal blue gown trailed a few inches behind her. Her hair was tied in golden wires and her self was adorned with graceful jewellery.

We left for the festival a few minutes after four. The walk was pretty peaceful as most of the city was already down to celebrate. Many people on our way stopped to stare at Cathiel and I was proud to see her handling it all smoothly. Particularly it was awesome to see her smile when one particular group of passing ladies gushed about her gorgeous appearance behind their hands. We could hear the rowdiness of the last three levels at even the start of the fourth one.

From the edge of the third floor to the start of the first the whole area was filled with colourful stalls and people. The rambunctious crowds laughing and chatting over the pints of drinks. The women gushing about the stalls. The children running about the crowded streets. It was all so beautiful that for a while I managed to forget every one of my worries. Me and Cathiel went about the stalls like silly little girls, cracking up at our own jokes and buying all the many shiny trinkets which we, most probably would regret buying tomorrow. We enjoyed ourselves to the fullest and in such open environment people didn't even pay that much heed to the second grand entry of Cathiel. By the time we had managed to tour all the three levels and found a suitable eating place on the second one night had already grown dark. Naimĺa stared exasperatedly at the many bags we were armed with and Bnaŕia in her uplifted mood laughed and patted her back. We all ate a hearty meal of roasted chicken and kebabs with the traditional rice dishes. And then washed it all down with a good warm mug of tea.

"M'lady we should go back now.", Naimĺa said a while later and we all agreed, now tired after all the excitement. The crowds had dwindled considerably in the past hour and now most of the rowdiness was from the small bunks and houses on the lowest level. I got up and gathered my bags. Then I remembered that elaborate leather map of Gondor I had seen in a vendor a little ways back, "Oh! I'll catch up with you guys. I have to buy something a little way. Move on I'll get to you."

"Shall I come with you, my lady?" Bnaŕia asked.

"No need," I replied hurriedly. Bnaŕia took hold of the bags with a promise to leave them at my bed and I departed in the search of the stall I had seen. The map was extremely elaborate but old and murky. It's age didn't really matter to me if it was exact enough. I twisted and turned to pass through the blebs of crowd still occupying the first level. To my great disappointment the man had already cleared the stall and had left. I looked around the area to see if he was here somewhere but to no avail. Sighing lightly I leaned against the marble wall. Just as I was about to leave for the mansion a man stopped me, "Lady, Is there something that is bothering you?". I looked at the side to see a middle-aged man standing there in his old tattered clothing. Despite his shabby appearance he smiled brightly at me. "I was just wondering where the man who sold the antiques here a while ago..." I trailed off looking at him expectantly. "Ah that man! In fact my lady he was not the owner of the stall, was just commissioning to sale those goods. If you're looking for the real salesman you can find him through this alley," he gestured to a thin, dark alleyway at the side. "But m'lady," his expression turned troubled, "they say that he is a man you want to avoid. People who meet him live their lives holed up in despair." The man stepped forward and murmured lowly, so that only I could hear, "they say he can tell the future accurately." I stared at him incredulously and then broke into a laugh. I could believe many things but what I truly couldn't believe was the ability of telling future accurately. I have always believed that fate is always full of twists and turns and my current experience had just validated the point. "Tis' is not a laughing matter My lady." I nodded, trying to keep the amusement from my face. "Down this alleyway? Straight ahead?" I finally asked. The man looked as if I had spouted a few additional heads when I overlooked his spooks, and told me the location with an exasperated shake of his head.

I walked down the lonely alley, weaving my way deeper into the city until I reached an old tavern with the sign of 'Famous Antiquity'. Sparing a single look at the cobweb covered stand I knocked at the door. I waited for a while before a muffled sound gave the permission for entrance. I opened the creaking door and moved in quietly. The door shut behind me with a crisp clang and I gasped whirling around and coming face to face with a gypsy. His burly stature easily towered over me and instinctively I moved back a few steps. He clicked his tongue once and moved forward towards the scattered desk. My eyes had a hard time following him in the scarcely illuminated room. The whole room was covered in dark and rusty objects, with not even enough space to walk properly. I stepped back just to stumble into a rusty trunk. The man pulled at the chair and sat down, successfully drawing my eyes back to himself. I gulped at seeing his heavy shadowed figure slouched over the table. Maybe coming here wasn't such a great idea. I shivering lightly. 'Should leave here as soon as possible', I thought remembering that none of the people except for that Shabby man knew where I actually was. "I am here to buy a map," I started after clearing my throat. "What is the hurry Lady Lanette? Sit! aren't you curious about what I can tell you?" 'Sit down my as-', My line of sarcastic thoughts ended abruptly. I could literally feel my heart sinking in my chest. A chill ran down my spine. My name...How could he possibly know my name? I gulped and stepped back. My instincts were telling me to turn and run but I stayed rooted inside the room. My legs felt glued on their own accord. Before I could function any proper thoughts, the crystal ball at his side erupted into light. Had you told me two years ago that in a year or so I shall be standing in the tavern of a man with such an aura about him that seemed to depress my very thoughts and will look at a crystal ball erupting into white magic, I would've laughed right at your face and would've probably dropped you off at the nearest mental institution but now here in Middle-Earth, a world that believed and somehow also thrived on magic, while feeling, sensing it all, watching this witch-craft, playing out right in front of me felt like I was seeing orcs all over again. That desperation, anger, anxiety and dark raw fear that felt as if about to claw out my very insides was all real. I wasn't living a fairy tale, I was living my own real life, a life that was possible of getting killed and lost and it was the reality that scared me the most , in forest in front of orcs and in this very room in front of this powerful man, that I could die right here right now without anyone knowing and no one will know what to do with me because _I just didn't belong here._ The next scene was possibly one of the most horrific I had ever seen and a scene that I would not soon forget. The man touched the ball and spasms moved through his body, his blacks had already rolled to the back of his eyes. He should've been unconscious or something but what truly terrified me was his maniac laugh that reverberated across the tavern. My back collided with the door and I desperately tried at it but it seemed jammed. With my heart in my throat and helplessness seeping through my muscles I choked on my spit, trying to delete the horrific image. Suddenly his deep voice vibrated across the room:

 ** _O' wondrous lady with a lost purpose!_**

 ** _The heir of passers of the forbidden barrier,_**

 ** _Thee roam'd far and wide to find the healer's touch,_**

 ** _The success of thyself was written among trials._**

 ** _Passing through the frost and the land of Eorl,_**

 ** _Reaching the majestic bearing of men, in search of long lost lore,_**

 ** _Defeated by the purpose engraved in thy's fate,_**

 ** _Thee shall travel west to the night of despair,_**

 ** _Only to find the cause, thee shall return to this lair._**

 ** _Through water, fire, darkness and storm,_**

 ** _In the company of those who shall forever be known,_**

 ** _Thee shall fight for what will become scarce in this land,_**

 ** _Fulfilling the prophecy that was once recited by the grand!_**

A gust of air passed through the room and the door opened with a bang. I fell down the few steps and hurried to scramble onto my feet. My legs were wobbling, whole body wrecking with shivers. I turned towards the alley, in my desperation not knowing whether I was going right or wrong, I sprinted with all the strength I had left with me. Sprinted until I had weaved and turned into the city deep enough for the little moonlight to stop illuminating the alleys. Sprinted until my shivering and tearful self couldn't stand any more. I ran until I collapsed against a cold wall in a dark unknown alley but sadly that prophecy that man had recited stayed rooted in my mind, vibrating clearly in my ears the whole night.

* * *

 _ **To be continued...**_


	17. (PART-I) Chapter 16: The Aftermath

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR.**

 **A/N:** I have been dealing with a shot of writer's block and couldn't manage this chapter until yesterday. So hope you bear with me. Sorry for being a sucky updater. Hope Y'all are having a good day :)

 _ **Guest:** Your comment made me go back and check all the vocabulary and I am quite embarrassed to say that there were a lot of mistakes I had previously overlooked. I have corrected most, (I think) but if there are any left feel free to tell me._

 ** _Spriggan:_** _Thank you so much. Although it is a late update but I hope that you still enjoy and appreciate the story :)_

 ** _Katriella Rosewood:_** _Thank you for reading and taking the time to review. I appreciate it a lot. I love seeing people taking interest in the story. Enjoy :)_

 ** _Winniefawn:_** _Thank you so much. You flatter me :) Enjoy this chapter as well!_

 _To all of you guys who favourited or followed, thank you! You guys rock._

 _ **HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY! RR.**_

* * *

 **Ch 16: The Aftermath.**

The dark void of the night's sky gradually dawned into a greyish dusk. The sun's blaze was masked behind the weeping cold of the clouds, but as if realizing the day's start, the birds flew over the horizons just to sit at the bleak crooks and corners in search of food. Their chirping echoing in the shadowy alleyways deep into the heart of Minas Tirith.

I sat with my knees drawn to myself, arms tightly wrapped around my legs in an effort to quench the shivering, which at first developed due to the raging emotions and was now turning worse with the growing cold. I sniffled once and gritted my teeth as the biting winds rustled across my face. Even though I was sitting slumped in an alley, knowing that everyone back at the mansion would be turning inside out in worry, I couldn't bring myself to get up and walk, as if my mind and soul weren't corresponding to my body. The encounter last night had shaken me through the core. The deep magic had troubled my mind into reminiscing my past with the prophecy echoing as a warning in the back of my mind. I found myself sitting in that dark lane for hours on the end, remembering all the happenings of my past home with a deep rooted ache in my heart and unshed tears wetting the lashes. And now I sat there, at the dawn of the new day, spent in all my energy, and hoping my best to forget what I saw. I didn't even know why I was effected that much. After all, it could be just an scam, an old man scaring and worrying people with his empty words and yet... my mind strayed back to last night. I remembered the power in his self, the strength in his words and the confidence in his ways. I did not know what magic was, but if down the path someone asked me to describe it I knew that this was how I would. As deep, clawing sensation that brought out all the fears once buried in the depths of one's heart. Yes that was what magic was.

In my trance I felt my mind drifting away from the present.

* * *

 _I stared at Nathan. He rubbed his hand at the back of his head and turned to smile, albeit sheepishly. My eyes narrowed on their own accord as I gave an incredulous laugh. "Really Nathan!" my voice felt shrill to my own ears. He held up his hands in defeat and shook his head, "In my defence-"_

 _"Do not even!", I snapped cutting across him, "I knew that you are direction-ally challenged but even after twenty one years, your directional uncertainty still leaves me gobsmacked." I huffed and walked to the nearest tree to drop my bag before moving to the edge off the dark cliff in an effort to gauge the situation this late into the night._

 _"I'm NOT direction-ally challenged," he replied making a face, "and besides you should've gotten a better map!"_

 _"Map!", I turned in anger, "how was I supposed to know that you will lead us that deep into the forest that GPS won't even work?"_

 _"Come on! You've known me for years. We both know that following me was not the best idea."_

 _"But the only one we had!" I said cutting across him. I looked back at the steep fall, my eyes meeting with oblivion in the deep dark. The moon light could light the area so much and my torch light couldn't navigate the end well enough. Nathan moved around turning the stones and finding the driest place to sit._

 _"Honestly," I said as I turned around to join him on the floor near our bags, "I swear to God Nathan if your stupid stunt effects my grades-"_

 _He snorted, "Com'on Gal, we both know that Mr. Kingsley has a soft spot for his class toppers. We both are fine." I scoffed at that but didn't reply, as I knew that he was right. "But still," I continued, "what are we going to here" I gestured around the forest, "in the middle of nowhere so late? With one scary fall right in front of us."_

 _He contemplated the situation. "It isn't as if we can navigate about so late," he said slowly,_

 _"Not like you can navigate about even in the bright morning or even under the influence of holy light." I murmured sarcastically. He spared an annoyed look at me,_

 _"So have fun staying in the middle of forest in the middle of night." his tone was mocking._

 _I groaned loudly, slopping onto the ground. "I don't even like the wilderness!" I moaned disappointed, flapping my arms about._

 _"What a great 22 old you are," he replied in amusement and flopped beside me._

 _"Says the guy who still fights over Kindle Joy."_

 _"Do not question me about my Kindle Joys."_

 _I laughed at his mock seriousness and he grinned back at me. We descended into silence._

 _I didn't know when I fell asleep but when I came to again, the sky was still as dark as before and Nathan sat slumped against the tree playing Candy Crush on his phone. "Done with the sticky level?" I asked yawning. I got up and stretched before coming to sit with him. I leaned over his shoulder as his finger tapped across his phone. We sat like that for a while before he became bored and turned it off._

 _"Lane," he said after a while. I hummed in response while closing my eyes against the cool summer breeze. "you know that I will always be there for you? right." I creaked my eyes open. "Someone's becoming philosophical." I laughed. He looked up at the fading constellations. "No really." he said, "you do know that, right?"_

 _I stared at his face to gauge what he was thinking. "I know Nat," I replied after a while, my tone had grown soft. "I hope you know the same."_

 _"I thought about that tonight," he continued with a smile, "The way Me, you and Louis promised each other and now we do not even know where or how he is." He inhaled sharply. "I hope that we do not end up like that." he finished looking at me from the corner of his eyes._

 _"We won't," I replied surely, "Those promises were of children. Our promises today, as mock adults, wouldn't be as easy to forget."_

 _"Suppose if we do forget."_

 _I started at him. He looked back, "I just want to say that if we don't stay in contact due to some reason, I want us to look at something and still remember each other." he continued, passionate for what ever reason, "Like constellations or something."_

 _I snorted in disbelief, "Now you're making me wonder what happened."_

 _"Why? It's extremely probable."_

 _"It's extremely CHEESY." I replied, "But if that's how you wanna be, then constellations fade with the night."_

 _"So what do you suppose?"_

 _I looked around and my eyes ended up meeting with the dim orange hue of the dusk. "Sun!" I said._

 _He looked surprised, "But the sun also fades with the night."_

 _I rolled my eyes. "Come on Nat! The sun doesn't fade, it just moves away. Also, the moon is also illuminated by it so if we see the moon we can still remember the promise."_

 _He gave a resounding chuckle. "Fine then! I hope Lane, that if and when we separate due to reasons, we can look at the sun at remember our old promise to stay strong, forever!" He raised his fist and I, after a moment's hesitation bumped mine against his. "That's so cheesy." I cringed but in my heart, which I would've never quite admitted to someone, I felt warmth and comfort, knowing that this person whom I have seen growing up from a scrawny kid into a fine young man would always be there for me._

* * *

Now that I sat there hunched in the alleyway I looked up instinctively towards the sky, at the sun behind those thunderous clouds. 'What shall I do Nat?' I thought desperately, 'I never thought that I wouldn't be able to see the sun anymore.'

In my stupor I didn't quite fathom when I got up and started moving aimlessly in the alleyways. Wandering for a while in the never-ending maze of intricate Marble in the heart of Minas Tirith I stopped besides a small tap. I stared at the water, dripping drop after drop into the light green mould flourishing at the side wall. The biting cold of the day was slightly unbearable in my posh dress and with my mind already switched off...

I jerked around with a gasp, coming to my lost senses as a large bucket dropped from the above window just beside me. My head snapped above to see a kid peeking his head out of the window, smiling down at me in mischief. A moment later loud voices were raised inside the house before a string of embarrassed apologies came from a youthful woman. I waved my hand dismissively, not enough enthusiastic to be angry just yet. Although it was quite bad mannered attitude, it did good enough in snapping me out of my half consciousness. I stared at the bucket and then in an moment of impulse turned on the tap. It gushed out in the form of freezing cold water that tinted my already pale hand in a yellowish glint. I splashed the water on my face, feeling it's coldness awakening my senses back into function. Water dripping from my face I looked at the sky. I knew that by now Bnaria and Anariel and even Brilon would be going faint with worry and I had no cell or means to message them about my safety. Cursing lightly I started on my way again, still with a heavy heart but mind working enough to know where I was going.

* * *

"You mean to say that you merely lost your way?!" Anaŕiel's shriek disrupted the awkward silence of the room once again. Looking at her once again I found that in the few months of knowing her I had never seen her so out of control as in that moment. She exhaled sharply and pushed the few escaping strands back from her face. As if not knowing what to do anymore she wiped her already clean hands on her apron and turned away in clear disapproval. Cathiel the ever composed, put a lone hand on her arm in a silent command and turned towards me.

"Are you really well?" she asked. Her eyes bore into mine and in silent understanding stemming from our hasty friendship she ordered Naimĺa and Anaŕiel to bring me breakfast and instructed Bnaŕia to make up the bed for rest. After a long two hours of constant questioning and incredulous expressions of Anaŕiel and my constantly worsening headache I was finally left alone, albeit haltingly, to compensate my lost sleep.

Though I didn't get much sleep, I was glad to finally be in a warm blanket with a cosy fire burning a little sideways. My aching limbs felt like lead after my short nap and I passed upon any thought of getting up and going to the kitchens, even though I missed Brilon's sarcastic and Anaŕiel's incredulous concern. I tossed and turned in the sheets, my mind in an constant overdrive still thinking of all what has happened leading up to this point and dreading what more was to come.

* * *

I curled my hair around my fingers absently as my mind again drifted back to the supposed prophecy. Even though I didn't remember the whole wording I could still recite the meaning of the sentences. In an moment of impulse I got up and rummaged through the side table drawer for ink and paper. I walked towards the fire place and sat in front of it to get light as well as warmth. and then I started to write what ever I remembered yet of the prophecy. After a long hour I held up the wet ink of the paper in front of me. The shadow of the words from the scratchy paper casted a hue on the back wall. I reread what I had wrote again and again until I thought I had made up the meaning of a few verses. I was sure that passing through frost meant the misty mountains because it was only after that frost we had passed through Rohan, the land of Eorlings. If I made the majestic bearing of men to be Gondor, which was the only probable situation as I had come here in the search of lore, then I had two verses to make sense of in this long gibberish. But even these two sentences made me realise that that old man was not any blabbering fool but he might, just might, have really known what he was saying. After all people only go mad from imagining the things that had a semblance of truth.

I was about to get up in disappointment when my mind made a slight stringing contact in the prophecy. I reread the line again and again feeling a surge of misplaced hope. The heir of passers... that could only mean one thing. There had been more people like me before. Maybe my insistence to find anything about those men will pay off soon. After all if I really believed in this piece, then how could I not believe in those promised by its words. I reread it again hoping to find anything more to fire up the smoking embers in my heart. My eyes stopped at the last line. The prophecy recited by the grand... Oh! How could I have been so blind. There was this big clue all along. If I could just know the prophecy!

I scrambled to my feet and pulled out the warm woollen shawl from the closet. By the darkness and the quiet atmosphere of the mansion, I could tell that it was way into the night but I prayed again and again that the library would still be open and Master Forlong would be there to help me. The door opened with a click that seemed to echo in the dark carpeted hallway. I poked my head out to see if someone was here, for if Bnaŕia or Naimĺa or God forbid Anaŕiel saw me right now they wouldn't let me go alone. I clutched the scroll with my gradually whitening knuckles and started to walk down the hallway. Walking down Cathiel's side of the mansion was easy as there weren't any servants close by.

Somehow, weaving my way across the many hallways, making sure to only pass by the servants who Anaŕiel and Brilon don't contact that often, I made my way towards the front door of the mansion. The two guards that stood by nearly drew their swords as I interrupted their joyous conversation. They returned to their sides embarrassed and thankfully opened the door without questions at my raised brow. The walk to the upper levels was quiet as this level was most often uncrowded and so late into the night no one was wandering about. The guards, used to mine and Cathiel nightly ventures simply opened the gates to let me pass. I walked across the more quiet and less populated parts of the main level to reach the library for everyone knew how fast news travelled from the whispers of one servant to the ears of other. The candles in the library burned low and casted a bright orange shadow across the grand room. The domed ceiling still was darkened to the height. Master Forlong, hunched over scattered scrolls in intense study, startled into present at the sound of the door. He looked at my approaching figure over his thick rimmed glasses. "Here you are child!", he said straightening with difficulty, "and I was wondering why have you not visited to continue your hunt after the festival." A shadow passed through my face, and he looked surprised for a fleeting moment. "Why such an expression, child?" he asked as I came to stand by the desk. I looked at him thoughtfully and for a moment I didn't want to express my desire and to hide the prophecy. That heavy moment passed and I bashed myself silently, knowing that there was no running from it when I was getting this close to find the reasons. I drew the folded and crunched paper from my shawl and straightened it on the table in front of him. He gave me a look before pushing up his spectacles and squinting at my poor handwriting.

"I want to know if you can tell me anything about it.", I said, leaning over the counter and looking at his face to gauge his expressions.

"It seems random to me, child, but," he murmured pushing his spectators up his nose, a moment later he extended it towards me, "By my beard child! What is this nonsense?" I furrowed my brow in question, leaning away and grasping the paper to look at it.

"Well, that was exactly what I wanted to ask..."

"Who gave you this? Were you scammed at the festival, weren't you?" his voice was mocking that faded into silence at my stony look.

"It was a man, burly large tall head shaved," I said sighing, "he had this... power coming from him, deep dark... magic, I think." I finished uncertainly.

"Magic?"

"Yes, magic." I replied nodding my head in confirmation. He stood a little straighter and staring at me for a moment returned to his previous chores. I hesitated for a moment wondering if I should just leave. But my curiosity won over all of the second thoughts. I extended my arm and placed the paper on front of him again.

"I don't know much about him but I need to know about this. I gave it a lot of thought but it doesn't seem like a scam. How could he have known who I was?" All of the reasoning about his knowledge of my adventure came to naught. If he had just mentioned Rohan then it might have been a scam as everyone knew me to be coming from the Rohan but no one except for Anaŕiel and Brilon not even Cathiel knew about my story of my family.' Ehara did.' my mind screamed but I quenched the thought because Ehara and Lady Brinielel will ever soil their dresses by the dirt of first level's slums. Master Forlong eyed me , his brows raised in silent question.

"More specifically do you know about this part." I continued, gesturing to the last line and reading it aloud. "The prophecy recited by the grand."

He placed his shaking fingers on the sentence and tapped twice for confirmation, "Yes this one. I feel uneasy about this."

He leaned over the paper to get a better view. I stared at the top of his balding silver head as he murmured it aloud, lost in thought, "The prophecy... Grand... Was there a prophecy ever?" After what felt to be an eon he leaned back and picked up the paper. His eyes were taking in the prophecy more seriously than before and for a fleeting moment I thought I saw his shoulders tense although it could've just been my imaginations.

"Stay here child, give me a moment.", he said hastily before moving to the back of the huge polished desk. He opened the door at the back and vanished into the darkness with a loud snap of the oak. I sighed lightly and leaned my back against the table. I felt my eyes wandering across the library and they fell upon a nearby table on which the candle was yet burning. I spared a glance at the back door and feeling no movement I walked towards the table containing filled parchments and opened volumes. The quill still lightly wet rested on a half-written parchment with the pot of black ink resting sideways. Someone was engaged in quite a study here and not even long ago. My eyes snapped towards the door suddenly dreading if the man came by just now.

I moved back before touching anything and stood beside the counter, flipping through the few books present there. The back door opened after a long time with a snap. Master Forlong, white in the face emerged a moment later with nothing but the parchment. He walked forward briskly and came to stand before me all the while staring at the back door, as if dreading it to open.

"Child! Did you say that that man seemed to have magic?", his voice was low and rushed as he spoke. I nodded my head, for I could call that power nothing but magic if there existed.

"Did he have a gash starting from his upper neck? Did you get to see it child?" he asked again. 'A gash?' my thoughts went back to the night. I thought for a while. In the flickering candle flame he was shadowed in his robes but... an image flashed through my mind of him passing by the candles, a red wound peeking from his collar.

"I... I think so.,... Maybe yes he did." I said. Master Forlong inhaled sharply, his eyes widening in realization. I felt my muscles stiffen as I saw the deep faint fear in those orbs.

"Pack your bags child you need to leave. I shall arrange something so that you can safely venture out of Gondor," he said, coming out from behind the desk. My head whirled towards him.

"What? No! Why should I?" He turned to consider me for a moment. When he spoke his voice was calculated

"Child If this is true then I cannot take the chance. Consider it for your own safety." For the first time I felt as though calling me a child was mocking in its own way. I gave an incredulous laugh, turning my head away before fixing him with a glare.

"What safety? No Master Forlong I'll absolutely not leave unless you tell me the reason." I said firmly. He sighed in a tired manner, as though he was regretting to ever see this moment. He place his old wrinkled hand on the crook of my elbow and said lightly, taking into account the still front door.

"Not here child. Not here." I stared at him incredulously and before I could open my mouth to protest he took a paper from the desk and scribbled a few sentences on it. He pushed the paper into my hands and closed my fist, effectively crumbling it.

"Take this, Go to this man and he shall have the knowledge." I stared at the paper. Thousand thoughts running through my frenzied mind. He seemed to understand my jumbled thoughts as his expression softened into the same old compassionate master.

"Child take my heed and not come to see me ever again." I would've been offended had his voice not been so concerned and caring. Nevertheless I stared at him in disbelief

"Why? What if I need the library-"

"I can assure you that you would not." he said and with such conviction that I stopped mid-sentence. A heavy feeling settled into the pit of my stomach.

"What will he tell me? Who is he? Why are you so scared?" I asked desperately hoping for answers but Master just shook his head,

"There are countless questions that cannot be answered yet but child I hope that whatever you find it may help you in whatever you are so desperately searching for. May you also have the strength to do what you must." I exhaled sharply not believing my ears. I hardly had patience talk and yet he insisted on long sentences that mean nothing to me yet.

"Do what? Master Forlong don't talk in riddles please!" He unheeded my request and turned to walk behind the table. He stared at me from the back of it.

"I shall pretend that this conversation never happened child, For your own sake and for mine own. Now leave before someone finds you here at this hour." I considered sticking around and demanding a few answers. Where was he sending me? Why I had to find this guy? Who was this guy anyway? What did he know? Why should I leave? So many questions but as I looked into the tense shoulders and resolute eyes of the Master I knew that asking him more wold do me no good. He didn't want to be caught up in whatever this mess was and I couldn't possibly drag him into it. I sighed once and turned to leave.

"Good bye Master Forlong."

I reached the door and knocked on it to open, I heard his voice drifting up to me, low as if he wasn't sure that he wanted me to hear but I did anyway feeling a bit nauseous as I digested his words.

"Remember that everyone doesn't have the same circumstances. What you must do might be something no other can." The doors shut behind me with a snap and the words of master Forlong faded to the back of my consciousness.

* * *

"Mesnaldian...", I murmured, leaning back in the chair. The slip of paper crumbled in my hands as I gave up once again. It has been a whole day after the meeting with Master Forlong, and as of yet I was still making up my mind whether to visit this man or not... Which was an exceptionally useless thought as I knew I would be going to pay this person a visit anyway, and the sooner the better. Bnaŕia who was before busy stacking the laundry in the shelves, stopped as she passed by me. I looked back to see her gaze fixed on the paper.

"Mesnaldian?" she murmured lost in thought. The laundry bucket in her arms slipped a bit and she flexed her arms to hold it up tighter. Her brown orbs turned towards me, "Why would my lady want to do anything with Mesnaldian?" she asked finally, her head turned to the side.

"Do you know about Mesnaldian?" I asked raising a brow.

"Of course my lady," she replied, "almost all of the Minas Tirith knows Mesnaldian. He is after all one of the greatest scholars of these times."

"A scholar?" I asked and she nodded in confirmation, her two pigtails bouncing with her head.

"Do you know where he can be found?" I asked a moment later. She stared at me without an answer and then as if coming to terms with an internal battle she said,

"I'll take you there my lady."

I hummed in confirmation and she seeing no further response left with a troubled stare.

* * *

"My lady are you sure that I should not come in with you?" Bnaŕia asked for the nth time as I knocked on the wooden door of the famous literary house of Mesnaldian.

"I'm sure Bnaŕia."

She inhaled sharply, "But my-" she was abruptly cut off as the door opened to show a man almost similar in appearance to that of Master Forlong, albeit a decade younger. "Mr. Mesnaldian? It's me Lanette, lady Lanette." I could see the realisation dawning in his eyes and the swirl of questions that were left unasked as he invited me inside. The door closed and the troubled face of Bnaŕia vanished behind the polished oak.

The inside was stacked with scrolls and papers and volumes above volumes of thick books. The curtains were drawn to allow the morning light to enter the large room. Mister Mesnaldian gestured to an old wooden chair and situated himself before me.

"I shall get to the point as you must be busy." I said as soon as he sat down, my gaze flickering over to the stack of unwritten scrolls on the table. "What is this all about the prophecy? Who were the grand? Is this even right or just..?" I trailed off waiting for his reply.

"Actually Lady Lanette, there once was a prophecy, but time has passed and eras have changed and progressed and a lot of lore was lost. We do not know what the prophecy was and in that front I can not possibly help you much-"

I inhaled sharply, "But-"

" _Much_ being the keyword Lady Lanette," he continued cutting over my words. "But what I can tell you is that this prophecy was once written to proclaim the return of the king. No one knew at that time, for the kings still ruled strong in this land and it was thought to be just something made up by the ancient foretells. Now when we are faced by such an adversity we know not how to deal with it."

We sat there for a moment as I digested his words.

"Then you do not know what I am supposed to do."

"I am afraid not milady." he replied, inclining his head, "but there is one thing I must warn you about. If what you describe is true then the man you saw was the exiled apprentice of ancient fore-tellers, there are not many in Middle Earth that have the power or the will to see the future. He is one of the few who can and if he is the one who told you..." Mr. Mesnaldian exhaled once and looked out of the large window as if reminiscing something from long ago. He looked back after a moment with a seriousness I hadn't seen in him before. "You must know by now that the court is a ruthless place. Words get twisted and things first started with hope end at despair. If someone else finds out what the prophecy was, it will not be wrong to say that it shall cause the demise of not only you but also those who associate themselves with you."

"Then what-"

"You should leave and travel to search for what this really means," he replied cutting across my tirade once again. My brow furrowed in barely concealed annoyance.

"Leave? Mr. Mesnaldian. I do not think that you know but I have already travelled far and wide to get here and for what? Only to be sent back to the place where I started?" I knew that my voice was rising with my frustration but I couldn't bring myself to care. "Where do you want me to go now? Isengard? Mordor? Straight into the pits of fire to burn away once and for all?" I finished harshly and Mr. Mesnaldian leaned back in chair unaffected. He was lost in thought as he stared into the burning embers and then got up to move around the desk. He rummaged around as if to search for something and returned with an old scroll. He extended it towards me over the small coffee table as he took his designated seat. I opened it only to see the map of Middle Earth. I looked up at him in question.

"Do you see Rivendell, my lady?"

He asked and I nodded, my eyes straying over to the marked area near Bree. "The last homely house of Middle Earth. You'll be welcome there."

"You want me to go all the way over there?" I asked incredulously.

"Of course my lady." he replied, then looking over his glasses in a knowing way he continued, "for any other lady I wouldn't have but you are not exactly what you want us to believe Lady Lanette, are you?" I raised a brow, willing him to elaborate.

"Lanette is a unique name, my lady. What are the origins of such a name?" he asked mockingly as if not expecting an answer. Which he expected right as I didn't have one either.

' _American in origin Mr Mesnaldian_ ' I thought irately but in fact just gave an incredulous laugh pointedly looking out of the window.

"Lady Lanette," he continued extending the conversation. This time though his tone was much kinder as he spoke. "Rivendell is the home of Lord Elrond one of the greatest scholars and warriors of Middle Earth. I do not advise you to go there just for sport Lady Lanette. I say so because if there is someone who can help you in Middle Earth it is probably him and his family. And taking into account all the areas inhabited by the elves Rivendell is the one and only choice."

"But how can I go? I hardly know how to navigate about Mr. Mesnaldian!" I asked in disappointment. Going back all the way to the start? Passing through the Misty mountains again? and the orcs? I shuddered at the mere thought.

"The is a small caravan leaving for a village in San Gebir. I can arrange so you are taken with them but after that, it is all dependant on you," he replied searching my gaze for an answer.

On my own? My breath nearly got caught in my throat. "When are they leaving?"

"In three days Lady Lanette," he replied and looking at my obvious distress he continued, "it is you choice to make lady Lanette, no one shall force you." I nodded, knowing his words to be true. The image of my family flashed across my mind and the memories I still remembered of mom, dad, my sister, nick,... "No, I will go." I felt myself saying before my mind could form a proper thought. "Yes," I said nodding in confirmation, "Yes I'll leave."

He looked surprised for a moment. A smile broke out on his face as he replied, "I shall inform you of all the arrangements lady Lanette."

I nodded, and inclined my head in thanks, "I appreciate it Mr Mesnaldian." He laughed at that.

"Believe me, my lady, a few months later you won't."

And how true his words were, I knew not that day.

* * *

I paced across my room lost in my own world. Cathiel had caught up with a fever and cold just after the festival and thus was now resting resulting in the so much free time on my hands. My mind was furiously going over all the various ways I could leave with or without telling anyone. I groaned at the lack of time for the promised caravan was leaving tomorrow at dawn. The past two days after talk seemed to fly by, first in denial and the second in hypertension. Now as I was coming to my senses I knew that I had to do something and quick. Thus it lead to me pacing in my room in the middle of the night.

The sheer panic that Master Forlong had went into knowing that the prophecy was linked with the return of the king left me stranded for I knew not what anyone's reaction would be if this talk gets out. I had asked Bnaŕia bout the personality that was Lord Denethor and she had looked lost about what to answer so was Naimĺa as she and Bnaŕia both were maids and were not let into higher news. This led to my one and only source Brilon as Anaŕiel hated me probing into problems that were not mine own, as she believed so for 'she had seen many people destroyed as they came across some delicate information, she cares for you so' Brilon had said. He had thought over his answer for a long time, as the dinner bubbled over the stew and I was done with my dinner. He had said that he was being led astray as the times were, or so he hears. But if I considered it... then it was only a fact that he would not be happy with the return of whoever and however this king was going to return. I couldn't help but perceive him in a bad light even if I had not seen him for if anyone was going to be killing me off here it will be him. But 'Who would have an ill will against you Lanette!' I thought in anguish. Except for all the people who wanted lady fudalis dead and Cathiel holed up in her rooms never to see the light of day again. I grabbed my hair in frustration, totally lost on what I should do.

If I go to Lord Dervorin now, if I were able to meet him on such short notice, he'll want a proper reason to why I should leave so suddenly and my leave from not just his manor but from Gondor will be no less suspicious to a warrior like him in the time of such despair. I made another turn in frustration.

I cannot possibly tell Cathiel for she would also want me to explain everything to her which, I did not know why, but didn't want to tell her. Letting Anaŕiel or Brilon in my secret was a good choice as they'll help me sneak out without drawing attention in my cloak and travel attire but if something goes wrong they'll be called into account with no one to protect them from the wrath of High Lady Terŕiela. Who ever left was Bnaŕia, which was the worst choice as she'll be surely devastated and would try to stop me all she can probably leading into someone to find out about it. But if I tell her than Anaŕiel will be sure to keep her safe...

I groaned once again and crashed ungraciously onto my bed my mind staying in an overdrive the whole night without a proper decision and a half-assed plan of telling Bnaŕia with a letter and a quiet hope that things shall remain down for the whole day.

I got up again a little before dawn and took out my bag from the bottom of the cabinet. Moving to the door I made sure it was locked before coming to pack my supplies. Seeing the breeches and shirts made a little spark rise in my chest. The same excitement I got when I was first going to travel with Èohere, only this time the uncertainty was double fold made even more so with knowing that even if I leave with the caravan I will inevitably be left to my own devices. the thought itself was quite depressing for I knew that even those months of travel with Èohere had not made me adept for the harsh wilderness that was Middle Earth and the recently posh environment with a handy maid and well cooked delicious food with water present at all times have rusted the little bit of ranger cosplay I could fool myself into. I took out the clothes and put them in the bag along with the little pouch of money Lord Dervorin's household had bestowed upon me, which was quite ironically heavier than the pouch I had saved up in Bree after all those months of labour.

My fingers hastily stopped as I took the slightly uplifted edge of the cupboards layered base. Instinctively I looked behind myself even though I knew that there was no one about and took out the well-hidden leather scab. The gleaming sword, as it slivered out of its cover, felt foreign to my hands. I slashed it about a few times, my heart sinking a bit as I took in my rusty movements. I belatedly realised that I maybe should've practiced within confines of my locked room in these past months. With a heavy sigh I placed the blade safely beneath my clothes and tied the bad with a tight knot. I placed it back into the cupboard and wandered back to my bed in an effort to get a bit of sleep.

In the morning, the first chore I did was to visit Cathiel. I sat there unusually long, chattering gibberish until she herself laughed at my absolute meshed up self. I was glad though that she didn't read much into it and took it as an effort to amuse her bed ridden self. I realized, getting up that there was just so much I could talk to her about, so much that I needed to explain to her and I knew also that leaving so suddenly, without explanation, even when she was ill was going to hurt her a lot. I silently cursed myself for making her believe that I was so honest and real with her and that I was going to stand by her in every time of need when I was not.

I walked around the manor aimlessly for most of the noon, sometimes chattering with Brilon and sometimes with Anaŕiel. I savoured Brilon's cooking of the noon and the evening in an absolute manner and drank tea, which I would not be able to get on the road more than three times. I didn't miss the suspicious looks of Brilon and at his inquiry I waved it off, blaming on Cathiel's illness contributing to so much free time I had.

The night dawned extremely early for my tastes, and my discomfort increased immensely. It was noticed by Bnaŕia who buzzed around me worried until I shooed her off to aid Naimĺa with her chores. She left haltingly, throwing looks at my face and trying to gauge my expression and for once I was proud of my passive face despite my increasing restlessness. If Èohere was here now he would look once at my stiff shoulders and would gauge that something was wrong, but there was no one here with the ranger's instinct and a warrior's senses and it acted to my advantage.

I sat near the buzzing fire, savouring the warmth. The increasing cold also made me worrisome. In California the coldest temperature mostly hovered around 15C, my days in Europe should have contributed to me becoming a little resistant to this weather but a lifetime of staying near coast was totally paying off as I shivered whenever there was the least bit of snow fall. Going out in such weather brought back the thoughts of the horrendous days of misty mountains. Thinking about going through those mountains in winter and alone at that... I shivered unceremoniously at the mere thought and concentrated back on the task at hand.

I was busy writing letters to various people I've come to associate myself with. For Cathiel a letter of apology for not notifying and for zero explanation. For Naimĺa a short note of encouragement. For Brilon, a letter filled with appreciation of his cooking and validating his suspicions in the most unclear way I could think of. For Anaŕiel a thanks for all what she had done for me till now, and a sorry for leaving her hanging like that. For Bnaŕia... an appreciation, a thanks, an apology. If I say the truth, out of all the people I had grown the most accustomed to her. Her quiet presence, her helping hands, her concerned demeanour, her full of life and youth expressions. I felt the worst leaving her behind like this and just to not get her into any trouble I decided on not telling her, for if the news of why I actually went away got out somehow, the ones helping me were sure to answer to the Lords. I knew she'll be devastated if she were made to. A petite soul she was, who hated any human interaction with people she was not very accustomed to.

I groaned throwing back my head. It hit the hard wood of the chair and I sat there rubbing on it.

After a while, I got up, sealed the scrolls and set them in the drawer, out of first sight but easy enough to find once they start looking.

Bnaŕia came once again and I sat to chat with her, knowing not how time passed and before we knew it, it was way past midnight. Only a few hours before I had to leave and find that place on the first level. Taking into account that it took more than an hour to reach the first level on foot and the possibility that it may take me almost half an hour to find the place in an unknown are at the peak of night. I had only two hours left by the time I had waved Bnaŕia off to her bed. I rummaged around the room and put a few more usage items in my bag. Lots of thick sheets of cloth for monthly usage, a few chew sticks to last a while. I dropped the paste as there was not going to be much time for such luxuries.

Dressing in a plain dress I waited impatiently, trying in vain to pass the hours. The matter of no food pressed at the back of my mind and I waved it off as I decided to nick something from the kitchens on the way, as they were deserted this time of the night.

Finally, as it was time, I opened the lock at my door with my trembling hands and looked both ways before leaving my room. I wanted to stand there and give it a last look but with the terror of being caught stilling my throat, I tightened the travel cloak around my shoulders and gave a disdainful look to my travel boots.

I was turning around the corner at the end of the stir when hushed voices floated up to my ears. "Lady Lanette."

"That is the one, yes, Lady Lanette."

"Get her then."

With my heart in my throat I ducked back around the corner and with all the haste moved around the next as I heard faint steps going up. The bag made an faint click and I in all my frenzy hoped that the click was as inaudible as I wanted it to be. I put a hand to suppress a gasp and turned around to follow the path down the sub alley. My mind whirled to find why and how they had found out. With a flash I remembered the piece of paper with the prophecy I had taken with myself to see Mr Mesnaldian. Had he not kept it and given it back to me? I nearly groaned out loud at my ignorance. Of course he would have given it back to me, after all he had no reason to keep it. How vain I've been, digging my grave myself!

Just a few paces down was another turn after which a few more corners before I got to the small path that led clearly to the back kitchen.

I turned just to come face to face with Lady Brinielel, alone standing leaning cross the wall as if she knew I as going to cross here. With my heart in my throat I made a wide turn, knowing that there was no way she had not seen me but still hoping that by some miracle she'll pretend to not see me. Her firm hand on my arm stopped me and I whirled around, a thousand excuses coming to my mind but none leaving the tongue. She rolled her eyes in her vanity and put a hand on her lips before dragging the startled me swiftly down the corridor leading to another.

"What?" I found myself muttering as I walked half willingly behind her. I knew that this path led to the back kitchen. Had she already placed her people there to catch me? I dug my heels into the carpet until the resistance caused her to stop, before wrenching my fingers away from her grasp.

"Lady Brinielel," I said, my cold tone made harsh by my clenched teeth, "it would be better for both of us if you just pretend you haven't seen me and let me leave."

"So you can run into the very people that are after you?" she mocked turning towards me.

"and you're here to protect me?" I said incredulously before giving a light chuckle.

She tensed for a moment, before turning to face me completely, so that her eyes bore into mine seriously.

"That is precisely why I am here Lady Lanette," she said finally, moving forward to come to a stand just before me.

I raised a brow in disbelief, "I do not know what game you are playing Lady Brinielel," I said as I stepped forward myself, coming to a stop just before her, "but I do not have the time nor the patience."

A look of contempt passed across her features as she stared me down, "Believe me lady Lanette this is not something I like doing nor something I wish to do."

"And yet you're standing here." I pointed out.

"My reasons are mine alone lady Lanette," she spoke finally, "I wish not to expose more than I should but what I can tell you is that Lady Estaria has been extremely displeased." she looked over her shoulder to check and continued, in a whisper "you've angered her and I can tell that if you do not follow me now the people will catch you. She might have already spread whispers about you in court and if people took her seriously then she might become the hero after capturing you."

"How can her people come to this manor?"

"Her people can go everywhere she wants. It is not the world how you believe it to be Lady Lanette." She started waking and I fell into step with her as we rounded another corner, "Why are you helping me?" I asked, not trusting her completely but knowing that she won't let me walk away now. If I could just get to the back doors then escape will be easy.

"I do not like you lade Lanette," she said, looking disdainfully towards me as I muttered 'Same', "but if there is one woman I hate the guts of, it is Lady Estaria."

"You're lucky in such a respect.", she said after a while. I looked at her from the corner of my eye, trying to gauge her expression. Beneath those vain lashes were eyes sure in their ways, and what I first took as arrogance now revealed to be an unbidden strength hidden beneath the pride.

"You nearly caused the death of two people, _Murdered two people_ , and now you're pretending to be nice?" I whispered harshly, looking both ways before turning the corner with her. If I had not been staring at her so intensely I would've missed the tightness of her shoulders.

"I know you shall not believe me now Lady Lanette, let's not waste our time on chatter."

"Try me," I replied, successfully making her head turn towards me. Her eyes met with mine only for a moment before she looked towards the front.

"It was Lady Estaria, Ehara mixed the teas during her walk."

"But she told you about belly flattening!" She stared at me for a moment her eyes silently accusing of eavesdropping. I stared resolutely back.

"It was belly flattening herb, Lady Lanette, I told her, again and again, to use it after her pregnancy not during it. The lady herself asked me for it."

"Then why would she blame you."

"She had got the brain a size of a pea, so does her husband. How do you think he knew of the news so early while in court?"

I stared at her wide-eyed, "Did Lady Estaria? That-"

I stopped abruptly as we heard noises down the next turn. Lady Brinielel motioned me to stop and squaring her shoulders rounded the corner. There were a few minutes long conversation that involved a lot of flirting and what seemed to be a very new face of Brinielel. I waited with drawn breath as the men saying their regards and trusting her blindly went the opposite way.

With Lady Brinielel's deception the way to kitchens was very safe. We both entered the darkened area and moved swiftly towards the back door. While passing a shelf Brinielel handed me a package. "I know you have not packed food Lady Lanette." was her only explanation.

As I stood outside the door awkwardly, I went over all the previous expressions I had for her and as I saw her standing there looking both sides hastily and waiting for me to leave safely I felt my prejudices melting away.

"Why do you put up such an act before your father and Cathiel?" I asked, not able to suppress my curiosity. She looked a bit annoyed.

"I said my reasons are mine alone, Lady Lanette and don't you have to leave. You're already behind on your time."

"I think," I continued, dismissing her talk, "that you don't really trust the strength of your family, that is why maybe you resort to such masks."

"You know not Lady Lanette," she gritted out a moment later, she bowed head shadowed in the dark, "what it is like to be a part of such back stabbing court. You should be glad that you lived so far away that you're still naive about such issues."

I laughed at that, not willing to argue with her anymore. But just as I was turning to leave I heard her assuring me that she'll hold off the guards. I heard my voice drifting away before I fathomed what I was saying, "Maybe Lady Brinielel you're being too pessimistic. After all, you won't find the kindness in this world until you yourself are not the same."

I was rewarded with an 'or not' an I walked down the path and out of the strangely empty gate post.

* * *

It took me a long time to reach the lowest level. true to her promise there was no guard wandering about the sixth floor, which led me to wonder just how much influential Lady Brinielel was.

I jogged down the first level, passing the covered vendors and locked shops as I searched for the sigh of 'Cleric Tailors' around there. True to my prediction I wandered around for more than half an hour and disrupted the rest of several street bumps before I came to the shop, crowded outside by four men, chatting on their respective horses.

At my appearance they quietened and one of them yelled "The Lady Mr. Mesnaldian said?" I nodded once and handed them my bag as they had instructed so they could tie it across the horse. My gaze finally fell upon the small covered cart and I remembered the time a few months back when I had travelled on one same as this. I hoped now that there were few women so that at least there could be a little comfort.

"What we may call you milady?" , one considerably young sounding lad asked as it was too dark to make out the youthfulness of their faces.

'Not lady for starters' I nearly said out loud before reigning myself back into the social cues. "Lanette," I yelled back, "Lady Lanette."

"Just Lady Lanette? No family to speak of?" murmured one of the other men before quieting with an audible ouch.

I shook my head and without further ado climbed into the cart, trying my best not to disturb the other two sleeping women. It was a relief to see only two of them as there was considerably more space to claim. I adjusted myself as the cart jolted into a start and the women jerked into an half-awareness before drifting off again. I did not have the heart to look out of the cart before we had left the Main magnificent gates lest someone finds me and drags me back. But I creaked open the cloth as the gates thudded behind me and the cart moved swiftly away from the tall structure. I leaned back a moment later my heart heavy with regret at not saying goodbye at least.

There was no comfort, not in my heart at leaving behind the people so abruptly, nor in my mind, as I couldn't fathom what was yet to come and not even bodily as the cart jolted over the rocky path.

* * *

 _ **To be continued...**_


	18. (PART-I) Chapter 17: Back Again

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR.**

 **A/N:** As the session is drawing to an end I am caught up in all the studies, tests and exams. That sounds too much like an excuse so I'll try to put up the next chapter sooner. Sorry for being a sucky updater. Hope Y'all are having a good day :)

 _ **Kid-Kun:** The main characters will be coming around soon enough. Thankyou. Even though it is a late update I hope you still enjoy :)_

 ** _Ness Rosethorn:_** _Well I have to say that I am extremely flattered. I hope you continue to enjoy the story and all the (many) places Lanette goes to!_

 ** _Winniefawn:_** _Thank you so much for your constant support! Have to say that I appreciate it a lot. Enjoy this chapter as well!_

 _To all of you guys who favourited or followed, thank you! You guys rock._

 _ **HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY! R &R.**_

* * *

 **Chapter 17: Back Again.**

"Pardon my intrusion, Lady Lanette." Gilwen's voice floated over the loud rhythmic clangour of the hooves as the caravan drifted over the Northern lands of Rohan.

"I find it questionable, that a lady of such a station as you would not have a companion so late in her years. A lady as beautiful and accomplished that is."

The green fields drifted past us, the faint rays of the sun illuminating the grass in a golden hue. My eyes narrowed at her piteous attempt to gauge at an answer from me with misplaced flattery. 'Accomplished?' I felt my insides quench with contempt. By this supposed influence she meant my station at Lord Dervorin's house. Would she still think me accomplished if she realises that I was a surgeon back home, not a lady to be waited upon? That I did my job, earned my keep, did my chores and lived in an independent apartment far from a male protector? I kept my gaze focused on the venture and tried to shake off any sense of disdain before turning to reply to her, my face carefully deferential. It was surprising how my year worth of stay in Middle Earth had helped me learn the cunning art of con which the rest twenty-seven years had not taught me. I tilted my head to a side, staring into her hazel orbs, my own brown ones hard in their essence. I gave a light chuckle a moment later, uttering a small ' _I guess so_ ' before turning to my previous hobby. With a slight sense of amusement, I took in the incredulous frown marring her doll-like face at my dismissal of her words. I paid her no more heed as she turned to whisper furiously, gossiping with her friend Oýna, her previously honeyed tone shifting to scath. Pretending to not mind the abusive words she said as they should have not reached my ears had I not been sitting in the small cart with her. Barely stopping myself from calling her out on her hypocrisy I frowned when she warned Oýna against my intentions for I had done nothing, yet, to validate it. My hesitant friendship with the males of our company did nothing but to fuel the misplaced scorn, and I sighed in disappointment at the young women of this era and world. I should not have judged before, after all I lived in the twenty-first century and it was quite an time for liberation, but seeing the marriage, money and power fixed dementia of most young Ladies it was no wonder that I found it far easier to befriend the males in this world.

I looked at the backs of Melvig, and Gilliard as the rode in front atop their war stallions. Or maybe that view of mine was also inapt due to Èohere. Even through the sceptical friendship, I could feel the reservations and discomfort radiating from them in my presence. My brow furrowed as I remembered the dinner from a week back when I was bold and uncaring enough to give my opinion of war and bloodshed, which in my observation hung as a heavy worry in the back of their minds and the pits of their hearts for not even a fool could deny the growing shadow of death and decay across the lands, and the surprised if not irate expressions of the three men that had followed my intrusion in their speeches of gal and glory did nothing but to fuel my disappointment. My desire of leaving this wretched place became much more magnified that ever before.

Later that night I sat awake in the cart, my eyes closed in an attempt to feign sleep as I focused on the periodic breathing of the sleeping girls in an effort to do so myself. After an hour worth of attempt, I gave up and stood, to leave the cart. I moved with caution as to not disturb the sleeping girls, although I knew that I needn't worry because nearly a month in their presence was enough to know that even a storm would have difficulty shaking them awake from their slumber. As I stepped out of the cart, my ridding boots, another cause of ridicule in these times, made a click with the wooden step of the cart and I cursed looking up suddenly. To my chagrin and discomfort, all three males of our company enjoyed sleep. I thought this ridiculous for our company was large enough to gather an audience. Even with the two people that were me and Èohere, he had insisted on keeping watch, although I had with great difficulty made sure that we shifted the watch at night. Here were these three men who slept comfortably in such dire times and those who did not even stir at the click of my boots. I shook my head while passing their figures before moving to the other side of the cart, far from their and the girl's eyes. I sat on a log under the dark solace of a large growing tree, whose old branches stood erect and strong as the grew into one another.

Once again I felt my thoughts drifting to the ones I shouldn't have. To those thoughts that made my heart feel heavy with anxiousness and misery, and made I will falter ever so slightly as I tuned into those deep whispers of my mind.

"Who are they that you would go to such lengths for them?" The voice of Oýna, purely curious, echoed in my mind.

"But are they looking for you as much as you are them?" She had replied once I had told her that it was, in fact, my family that I was searching for, although she was not aware of the extent of my search she knew that it was not the first time I was travelling in this world. For unlike the unceasing comments of Gilwen and Oýna I had remained tightly lipped about any ire I must have felt due to the sore journey.

"I had a brother," she said later that night when Gilwen was deep into her sleep and we both were sitting under the deep blue of the sky fading against starry shine, beside the peaceful flow of a nearby stream. The moon was full that day, making it possible for me to see her conflicted expression as if her eyes lulled over whether to share the information or not.

"He went for a patrol five years ago, a small one, and when the party returned from the scouting he was not among them. I remember it still, as though it was yesterday when the captain told of the sudden ambush and of his missing self." She swallowed and I kept my stare fixed on the illuminated water, my shoulders tense as I listened to her words, posing neutrality as my heart sunk. "He came back two years later. We were happy on seeing him again, yes, but it was different. He had lived as a rogue for years and when he returned he was not the same man as before, nor were we the same people he left behind. We did not know of the change in ourselves for we lived in each other's presence for that time but he did, and he had no qualms in pointing that out." My gaze shifted over to her distant eyes, unseeing even when they were fixated on the water. She sighed, carefully weighing her next words and her voice was impassive as she uttered them quietly as if willing the wind to carry away her sinful thoughts before they even reached my ears. "He had problem adjusting to the life before, for in those years he had learned much more than the thick walls of Minas Tirith taught him in decades," I swallowed thickly for I found that applicable to even myself, "to make things short, that became problematic, not only for him but for us as well, and I not once but many times," her eyes shifted to her lap in guilt, "whished that he had not come back." and as I heard those words, all the burning desire turned cold, as my heart seemed to fall into the deep pit of my stomach.

As I sat beneath the shadow of the tree I wrapped my arms around my legs. Hugging them to my chest for a source of comfort. Hoping against hope that they have not yet given up on me when I was going to such lengths to see them once more.

Only one look. One gaze. One moment. One word. Of appreciation. Of love. Of desperation. Maybe, only maybe that is all I need to be at peace with myself.

* * *

I waved my hand dismissively, cutting off their half-hearted protests.

"I'll be fine, I have to leave soon. There is no need for such formality as you all must be tired too." I said, heaving my bag across my shoulder and nearly wincing as the scab of the sword dug into my back. Gilwen looked forward not meeting my eyes and Oýna stood a little to the side, her eyes down cast in sadness at our parting. I gave the company of five people a small smile and inclined my head, "Thank you for bearing with me. I appreciate that you all took me with you when you had no need to."

There were murmurs of, _of_ _course not,_ and _let us not part ways,_ but as I looked at their faces, I could tell that I had already overstayed my welcome. Now that we were in the village they had promised. They were to go to their respective houses. I gave another smile before clasping Oýna, the only sincere person, on the arm and turned my back on them with greetings. I walked without even a backward glance until I had walked around the corner and stopped, smiling lightly at the dark alley way from whence I came.

I walked around the village, the dark of the night making it hard for me to navigate about until I reached the path that could only be regarded as the main street, for it was lighted much more than any other I had seen in this scarce place. I entered the less populated inn, for I did not wish to draw much attention to myself and was surprised to find only the old, weary bartender standing behind the counter. He did not seem aware of my presence and I followed his gaze to find where he looked so ruefully, only to see the opposite basking in light and. life. My eyes snapped back to his care worn face and I felt a surge of pity as he wiped his face with a napkin, his hands shaking with age. At that age, people should be living home in peace with their children and grandchildren and, in this age and era, maybe even their children too. Not staring into abyss wondering how to eat bread three times a day. His slouched back, tensed at hearing my steps and he looked at my figure, his face plastered with a polite smile, although his hope could be seen from his desperate eyes. I placed my bag on the counter, "How much price for a room?" I asked.

"One silver for a day, Miss." My brow raised in surprise.

"One silver?' My tone was incredulous. It was almost amusing as his hands shot forward towards mine as if he were to beg me. At my sudden cold expression, he stopped his wrinkled hand's inches from mine.

"Miss, you can give half of the price," he said, wiping his brow in nervousness. I gave a light chuckle at that. One silver was such a low price. I knew Butterbur to cost at least 8 times more for his cheapest rooms. The old man looked surprised at my sudden amusement but chose to stay silent.

"I need a room for almost five hours," I said, counting the time left till dawn, "and a nice meal for tonight." He nodded his head eagerly so I continued, "I'll give you 3 pieces." He looked towards me with no small amount of amazement, and for a first time since coming from Bree, I felt that maybe I was truly helping someone in their need. Oh how much had I forgotten about my job, and how much I missed it!

"Oh," I continued as I sat on the table he pulled out the chair from, grabbing his attention before he buzzed into the kitchens in his haste to comfort his customer. "I'll give you twenty pieces if you arrange bread, cold meat and a lot of beef jerky for my travel." Had he held something at that moment, he must have dropped it, for I could see that he barely contained his pure joy at my words and nearly crumbled to the ground in happiness.

I shook my head at his retreating figure before smiling contently into my hands and looking out of the window towards the inn the was staring so melancholy at, tired and hoping for a warm meal and comforting sleep. My last for many many months to come.

* * *

I woke with a start at the knock on the inn door, and barely dragged myself out of the bed. I opened the door up to a crack and saw an equally old woman standing outside. Her hair was pulled from her face and held in a motherly bun. Her face despite being wrinkled with age and circumstance was kind and affectionate still.

"Your food is prepared miss, so is your breakfast, I have also drawn a bath for you in the room down the hall for it is nearing dawn and you wished to leave before the first rays of sun."

I nodded and smile in thanks and she went away.

It took me only a small while to bathe, I changed into the shirt and breeches, which while not being even a bit as comfortable as daily jeans, were at least practical for travel, strapped the sword to my hip and wore my cloak, sighing in contentment as the thick wool settled about my shoulders blocking the cold.

If the hosts found my attire inappropriate, they were not willing to voice their opinions or even show a shred of some discomfort. I ate the breakfast, assembled the things, paid the hosts and with a smile and a wave left the inn. The last thing I saw as the inn disappeared from view were the loving expressions of that old couple towards each other, their happiness at their earning evident from their smiles. I walked up to the Northern end of the village. As I had not lived here long enough I passed beyond the houses without a second thought. My boots echoing in the void of the streets.

It wasn't until the first rays of sun started illuminating the dirt path and the wind hissed through the small grass, shaking off any warmth that might be imparted from the feeble light, and the tops of the wooden houses were nothing but darkened blobs, did I look back. I stopped after a while when the sun had fully dawned and its rays were moulding the cold bite of the December winds, to fully stare. The village disappearing in the wake of my steps. And as I moved forward, I felt my hand clenching tightly at the strap of my backpack instinctively, reflecting the unsettled emotions I felt.

It was maybe only right that I moved towards a new start, in the same way, I had had my first start, alone, helplessly waging forward with no future in sight.

* * *

I nearly jumped out of my skin once again as thunder roared above. The storm was up on the plains of North-Eastern Rohan in all its fury and rain poured to the ground in sheets of water. It splashed on the ground with a loud platter. The wind hissed furiously through the muddy plains and wet grass and the trees whipped around in turbulence, their branches colliding in their rave.

I wiped my wet hand on my face in a vain effort to clear my view. With a gasp, I whirled to the side as one particularly strong gush of wind and liquid flew past making my soaked hair slap onto my face's side.

Coming to the river in this weather had been nothing short of a folly, for now, I could not navigate my way back to the tree, underneath which I had placed my belongings. My heart drained quite effectively after coming to the realisation that in this horrendous weather my bag, my clothes, my belongings and most importantly even the food will be soaked.

It had already been a challenge for me to find food on the road after the first three weeks when even the stale bread had finished and I as left with only the beef jerky, which I had to save for my time in the mountains. I had lived on wild berries and fruits and the few pieces of cold ham for the past many days and had already felt myself weaken and my strength vanishing. Just when I had decided to rest a little extra and search for more food in these plains, the river little ways to the distance lifting up my hopes, this scavengous storm had descended and I had to come back to safety lest I drown in the roaring waves.

I ran a hand through my hair effectively plastering all the strands back to the head and proceeded to walk towards the tree with half-lidded eyes. I had to stop after many intervals, just to gather my strength of waging forward in such a downpour and to gauge my surroundings. I was sure that I'd end up dead if someone decided to attack me today for my already shabby skills were decreased to none in such a situation.

I shivered instinctively, my cold and gradually paling hands shaking like the leaves in the autumn wind and I hugged my arms close to my body, my cold and damp cloak and clothes increasing my discomfort.

With difficulty I reached the tree, only to drop in its whirling shade, pressing my back against its trunk and drawing my hands and knees close to my chest. My shaking hands fumbled with the zip of the leather bag, and I opened it only to be rewarded with a soggy mess of clothes, items and food. I took out a wet piece of jerky and with an effort started to chew on it, for in such cold I needed every strength possible in my body. If I didn't die of an attack possible, It was highly likely that I will of the cold.

Raymond's condition, Arthritis, Norovirus... all kinds of diseases were coming to my mind as I sat hunched in the downpour trying with all my will to keep my consciousness. I breathed out, my breath becoming puffy even in the moist of the night. My body shook uncontrollably and no matter how much I tried to keep the coldness at bay, there was no escaping the heavy rain. My best shot was to wait until the storm settled down enough for me to navigate about.

This near Fangorn there were not any human populations and the prospect of not knowing how to overcome such an ordeal alone made me frightened beyond words.

In the wake of my ever increasing nerves, I sat there until the down pour decreased in its magnitude before fading away into a little drizzle at the break of the day. The dark clouds still hung deep in the sky and the rays of the sun fighting to break free from the charcoal. The day started in all the shades of grey with no signs of the clouds leaving any time soon. I had drifted off into unconsciousness, a little before the end of the storm, having no more strength to bear the biting cold and heavy down pour, and now as my eyes drifted open and I took about the muddy, clayed grounds did I feel a sense of forfeit. The coldness, before which was moist with the rain, now felt sharp and biting my still damp clothes. I got up with difficulty and moved my limbs to get rid of the numb. The shivering hadn't stilled and I felt cold from deep within.

It wasn't even five hours since I had started back on the road when, still downing my wet and dirty clothes with my bag hung on my shoulder, the moisture dripping onto the ground. It was an attempt to keep warm, no doubt. If there was to be no warmth from the ecosystem them maybe my own system would contribute had it not been for what I dreaded.

Not halfway across the Limlight, I felt the gravity of my actions as I coughed harshly, the utter cold making my lungs ache rashly. I felt my face burning with fever. My legs deep into the water wobbled uncontrollably whenever I took forward another step. With every bit of strength left in my being, I somehow managed to cross the river. What had initially taken me and Èohere only an hour to cross took me more than four and by the time I reached the other side, what little was left of the sun's warmth was already beginning to vanish. I crawled a little ways from the river. By that time I already was not in my consciousness, the headache hammered my head, the fever burned my body, the shivers racking furiously, and whatever little strength was left faded as I retched empty the contents of my stomach.

In a haze, I remembered pushing away the hair from my face and reaching my hands into the backpack to take out a sponge cloth. Maybe I had crawled back to the river in my desperation, maybe I had wet the cloth and had placed in on my temples. Maybe I really had gargled in the running water but I wasn't sure because in those moments the world swirled around me in all its colours and I felt a lone tear escaping my eye when I could see nothing but the fading grey and growing dark before losing myself completely.

I faded in and out of consciousness for many times after that. Those fleeting moments felt still like a far away dream as the memories and colours blurred into an horrifying mess. First I woke up when the dark had settled and owls were hooting. My side was soaked by the waves from the river and I tried my best to move but ended up fading again. The second time I woke up shivering, the water on my side causing my fever to shoot up so high that I wasn't sure that I could survive this day. My eyes were met with the clear blue of the sky and I wondered that whether it was the next morning or has many days passed for the sky to dawn like this. With shaking body I shifted to my front and pushed with my arms in an effort to get up only to fall back on the ground. The mud marred my face and blurred my eyes and I felt sickly and achy with only a few turns to drag myself away from the river water and a little nearer to my bag. I was reminded of my unwanted fasting as I hardly reached my hands towards the bag. The scene blurred in and out and I tried my best to focus. My head throbbed, my body ached and trembled and my attempt remained futile as I went into unconsciousness again. The third time, I barely woke up. The sky was still blue and yet the ground seemed dryer and the air warmer and it was enough to make me realise that it was not the same morning anymore. I closed my eyes, willing the pain to go away, silent tears burning at the back of my eyes and my throat becoming choked with emotion. Maybe I cried or Maybe I didn't. Maybe I was audible in my sorrow maybe I wasn't. In that moment I had no means to know, for when I laid there on the solid ground my body remained unresponsive to my bleak consciousness. I knew that it was the lack of nutrition and the remnant fever. Sluggishly but like a ray of hope in the dark tunnel I remembered the small pouch that contained my belongings from Earth. My phone, my earrings, a necklace, mint gums, if they were still intact and... Panadol. I nearly cried out loud in happiness and I would've done so had I had the power to do so. I had not taken those pills in over an year, maybe they've gone bad but who cared. I knew that after such absence of modern medicine even Panadol would have great effect on my fever taken immune system. I fumbled though the pockets. Even my turn to the side caused an inevitable sort of pain. I pulled out a piece of beef jerky and that pouch. Combining every ounce of strength I slit my arms and legs on the ground and got on the fours before sitting up completely. The sudden blurriness and nausea came expected and I closed my eyes until I calmed enough to think straight. I silently berated myself for it later, I was a doctor for God's sake! Why hadn't I paid heed to the symptoms when they had started to appear. Why hadn't I taken precaution?

It took me a long time to chew on that jerky and many times I felt like throwing up, grossed at the bland taste but held it in, for I knew how dangerous it could be to eat expired medicine and on an empty stomach! No.

I fell back my head colliding with the soft leather of my bag after taking the medicine. I had already used up too much of my strength. The fever had not subsidised yet, it still burned in all its fury but the shivering had grown mild since I had something in my stomach as a source of strength. I wasn't sure until the fever truly died down but I didn't fear for my life at that moment, knowing that if I survived this day then I might pull through. Having these thoughts I drifted into a deep sleep.

I woke up later in the noon. Maybe on the same day may be the next or maybe even more than that. I had no phone, no watch not technology so I couldn't tell.

My body still ached, in areas and joints I was never sure could hurt this badly but as I moved my hand to feel my grimy forehead I was glad to find the fever already gone. The shakiness too had subdued and I only found weakness and aches to be the major problem.

My eyes focused on the shaded sky and I closed my eyes in anguish. I needed to move on before another storm decides to hit this place. I was already too much behind on schedule. If I couldn't travel through the plains of Rohan alone then what chance did I have of passing through the misty mountains and the valleys and dales to reach Rivendell. I needed to buck up already. A year ago there was Èohere to save me in trouble and now I had to depend upon myself. Had I not always prided myself on being an independent modern woman who could take care of herself with no one's help? If so then these were the days to prove it.

I rolled to my front and pressured myself onto the fours before getting up on wobbly legs. I stretched a few stiff muscles, wincing in agony before covering the few feet to the bag. Thankfully most of the stuff had dried completely. Even though the bag was caked with dried mud, the clothes inside were not in that bad a condition. The rain that had seeped into the bag had been fresh natural water, and what else had I expected in purely organic surroundings.

I spent the next many hours wading through the river to find fish, making up a fire (while wishing again and again that I had matches), eating to my fill and then dipping into the cold river to clean off all the weeks of grime the best I could. The water was a sharp contrast against my warm skin but I was more worried about hygiene than anything else so I held in the shrieks as I made contact with it. Even though I would've loved any help, I did not want anyone to walk by or ride by now, while I was still bathing. I dried myself with light clothes and wore the cleanest ones I could find, and by the time I had finished strapping the sword to my hip I was already too exhausted to even stand. I sat beside the fire as the darkness descended and mulled over whether I should leave or rest again. Even though I had wasted enough time, I knew that it would be even greater a folly to walk just the day my body had come back to normal. And passing through middle earth plains at night? Nuh uh. Hence I laid down my bag and a sheet on the ground beside the fire and fell asleep, feeling content with the warmth of the fire after so many days of biting cold.

* * *

I trudged through the knee depth snow, panting and swearing profusely with every step. It had been almost four months since my fever had quelled. I had spared no time idling, for I knew that the areas beside the Fangorn were overridden with Orcs. I had been lucky on the plains of Rohan for the RiddelMark seemed to be doing a well job but now that I was beyond the plains and even passed the area between Lothrien and Fangorn I needed to be on guard. The last time I had the fortune of meeting with those foul creatures was when we were near the misty mountains. Thus my day while climbing the mountains were filled with caution and no little amount of dread. I slept less, made no effort for a fire, survived on beef jerky all the way and bore the freezing cold and aching joints with muffled groan. Once or twice I had nearly lost my mind, when the winds were extremely sharp and the snow stormed down and nearly buried me whole into the wet coldness, I had screamed loudly, stomping and roaring like a child whose candy was taken. Was I embarrassed? No I wasn't because if it had been anyone else in that situation they would've done the same. If not, then they were just basically a better person than I was.

I stepped onto the large jutting rock, grabbing the sharp ends with my hand and jerking my legs to get rid of the accumulated snow. Two more rocks on the left, one on the right and a ten feet drop below, how charming. I stepped onto the lone rock for it was much closer and easier to climb down than the other two options. I panted as my feet made contact with the snow again.

The descent was way easier than the climb, I wasn't someone with much stamina and I knew that being in such a situation where I needed to not just cover the distance but also climb up and down was disadvantageous to me, and I couldn't help but feel excited as I knew that just a few days and then again these peaks would be an old tale. I looked over the jutted peak, in all the various directions, the plains and plateaus spread out far and streams felt as though thin strands of thread waving in the wind. It was truly a beautiful sight.

* * *

I jumped down the rock and made a show of landing, my face bursting with relief and happiness. I gave a mock bow to no one in particular (do not judge me, living alone for months on end tends to do that) and looked at my green surroundings. I was finally beyond the mountains, with twice as much time as it took Èohere and me but still, I was done with those horrific mountains and terrible weather. I made a small pact in my heart to never travel these ranges again, especially not in winter. 'Not like I was going to.' I thought hopefully, going to Lord Elrond might bear fruits and I just might...! I shrugged away such thoughts and started walking again.

During the six months of my travels, the winter had dawned into flowery spring. The month of May dawned with a warm breeze and floral grounds. The area beneath the mountains was fertile, with varieties of shrubs, herbs and trees growing in all their might. The tendrils stretched over the growing branches which moved lightly in the warm spring breeze. The summer was dawning, slowly showing its wonder over the breath taking the beauty of spring. Birds chirped on the branches, feeding their young ones. It was a scene worth watching. With my renewed spirit I glanced around, walking peacefully over the green cliffs.

I took to the path near the misty mountains, not steering that far to have even a little semblance of direction. I was uneasy about being in the open too and hoped that the uneven cliffs and green plateaus would provide enough cover.

Rivendell, according to the ancient map, was nearly a month's worth of peaceful walk from Glanduin.

It took me a whole of four weeks to travel to the near perimeter of Rivendell, the journey was quite peaceful and I had strayed too long near Hollin. Mesmerised beyond wonder by the hollow beauty of those beautiful ruins. They still seemed to shimmer lightly, when the sun shined just right and they rays fell on them at the best angle. Maybe it was a fragment of my imagination or maybe it was the little sprinkle of whatever magic was left over even after decades of its abandonment. It made me wonder, what Rivendell, which was still inhabited by those elves would look like. A place of unrivalled beauty, no doubt.

* * *

I squatted down to pack the rest of the food that I had gathered today, a few herbs that I had grown accustomed to and the fruits that grew on the hill slopes. I steered clear of any mushroom in my way, for I knew not if it was edible. My beef jerky, even the mound I had repacked in a small village at the end of Rohan, had finished a few days ago and I was living on a bare minimum with only a few munches a day. I tried my best to ignore my growling stomach and reminded myself profusely that it was just a few day struggle before I reached Rivendell and can eat pure, freshly cooked, edible food. I tied shut my bag and adjusted my sword as it was stabbing my side before getting up. I hauled up the bag and adjusted the cloak around so it covered my bag with me and drew down the hood. I had decided to travel even in the night, so I could cover the most distance I possibly can. If I only slept when necessary, my journey would be shortened further. I stepped forward on the rocky path near the stream coming from the misty mountains. The spring worked in my favour and the temperature caused the snow to melt and numerous new streams to flow down after small intervals. To say the least I didn't need to worry much about water as I needed to worry about food.

Above the splashing brook I heard the dragging of steps behind me. I froze, ducking behind the jutting rock and peeked out towards the source. My blood froze as my incredulous gaze made contact with monstrous purple flesh. I gasped and pressed myself into the rock, not feeling under the fear the way the hard surface bruised my skin. I pressed a hand firmly on my mouth to suppress any sound that comes out and closed my eyes in an effort to compose myself. My heart was gradually sinking and my body raked in the coldness of my fear. As if my mind had stopped working for I couldn't fathom a single sound thought. A cold numbness seemed to jam my brain. I gulped down a shallow breath and peeked out again. A few yards separating us. Five of them. Five big, monstrous, torturing, vile creatures I can't possibly win against. I knew that I was done for as soon as they found about my presence. The most probable situation was that I took advantage of these jutting rocks and the dark of the night and make an escape. I shakily stepped forward softly pressing my boots down to not make any noise. Those orcs laughed loudly, a deafening sound that caused an involuntary shiver to run down my spine. Another step, a rock in the path screeched. I froze again, waiting with bated breath. Their commotion continued as previous. I nearly cried with relief. Another step. And another. and another. And one more. I continued slowly, softly, shaking fearfully in my boots and my ears strained to hear another bit of sound. Any disruption in their talks that could inform me of my presence. I was astounded and relieved to find none as I took another step forward. I had put a little space between us. Two or so meters or so. Not much and I knew that they could still pounce on me lest I make a mistake.

I stepped to the left, under the last rock that dropped five feet to the shy grass. It was the end of the rock patch that extended from the misty mountains and again the continuity of the green plateau of from Hollin. I squatted at the edge and put my hand on the ground, gripping it too hard for comfort, but with the amount of adrenaline pushing through my veins I hardly felt it cutting into my pale hands. I jumped down keeping my weight on my hands and made a soft landing. I let the rocky surface go and pressed my cold hands together, holding in a wince when the cuts were pressed. I turned around. Coming face to face with the back of another Orc. At my loud gasp it turned, it's yellow eyes gleaming horrifyingly from the shadowed face. I didn't knew how, I didn't knew why but the next thing I felt was my hands pulling out the polished sword with a clang and the same shaky hands pushing the tip of the blade into its heart. It was like my mind had stopped for a moment, my body moving on its own accord. The next thing I knew was that my whole body pressed against the vibrating sword embedded in the creature as sticky blood gushed out from the wound. The orc spluttered in its own blood and I shivered like a leaf as the drops from its spit marred my face. It moved to make a sound but couldn't as it's body went numb against my cold fingers. It sagged on the sword and I felt the edge of it tearing even more skin as the whole weight of the dead orc leaned on the blade inside of it. With a horrified gasp it pulled out the sword, my throat closing up as I felt the flesh ripping and bone cracking. The body fell with an audible thud and my head snapped backwards to see the orcs a few meters behind. One of them turned to stare at the perimeter while the others continued their jabs. My sword shook in my hands and I felt bile rising in my throat. A look at the dead creature at my feet made tears prickle at the corners of my eyes. The fear of being caught, the adrenaline rushing through my veins and my painfully beating heart reminded me of only one thing. I needed to escape, and so I did.

I ran. Ran as fast and as far as I could. My legs strained at running so fast. Faster than I ever had in my life. I kept running. The only sound I heard was the blood rushing in my ears and the loud thump of my heart. By the time the orcs got about to realise that something was wrong and came to see their dead companion, I had already covered enough distance that the audible clicks of my steps evaded their ears. I ran for a long time, or maybe it seemed like a long time. I wasn't woke enough to know.

 _Dead_. I thought. Their companion was dead. By my hands. The realisation hit me like a canon, staggering my overridden mind in its magnitude. I, Lanette Anderson, A doctor, a surgeon, a healer, has just killed something. Something that lived, breathed and formulated thoughts. I had pushed a dagger in its heart. My eyes collided with the dark sticky substance on my hands, the gleaming edge of the sword that was dripping with the same fluid and I felt my insides quench at realising that it was blood. _Blood_.

Blood of not someone I saved but of someone I killed.

I stumbled on a tree stump and collided with the hard ground, my shaky movements coming to an abrupt halt. The sword scattered a little to the side and I stared at it.

My face was pressed against the ground. I closed my eyes. _It was an orc, not a person._ I reasoned. It was a vile _vile_ creature that had probably tortured many and would do the same to many more if left alive.

No matter what I said, I still felt dirty.

 _Eohere had killed five in front of you and you hadn't batted an eye!_ my mind screamed.

 _It was something to bedone. Either you or that orc, only one could have survived. Be glad that it was you. Be selfish, it is not something to be guilty about._ I reasoned with my conscience.

Later, when I was mindful enough to think clearly I got up only to run again, for the fear that they might be following me was not yet subdued. I ran and the jogged and walked until I was not breathless anymore to only run again. I did not stop to rest until I finally collapsed. I skidded on the ground, the hardness of it bruising my front. and gagged the mouthful of dust. As if someone had hit me on the back of my head, in my head ache, the feverishness, the bruises I became unconscious.

When I woke up the first rays of the sun were illuminating the green grass. The scene of the soft grass stretching miles and miles over the soft cut of cliffs would've been gorgeous too see had I not been a state already. I closed my eyes with a gasp when I saw my hands covered in black blood. I took a while to steady myself, trying to subdue the tears that prickled at the corner of my eyes and the guilt that seemed to eat up my heart.

For the first time, I felt a deep repulsive disgust for the life in Middle earth. And for the hundredth time, I realised why I wasn't suited for this life.

* * *

The next days were spent in moving towards Rivendell, for my previous encounter had made me anxious and in my fidgetiness, I didn't have the heart to rest. The journey to Rivendell which was to end in one week seemed a little longer for I had steered towards the Bruinel. I couldn't walk anymore with the blood marring my flesh and took a long dip into the river. The water washed over my clothed body and when I came out the air chilled my dripping clothes. I didn't care much and after adorning my boots went on my way to cover the rest of the distance. I had known since the first day that my stay in middle Earth was changing me but it was now I realised that it wasn't changing me as much as it was destroying me. I had never known depression before but now I was sure that this anxiousness that pressed at my chest, the dark twist in my mind and the heavy heart that was begging to cry were nothing if not it.

It took me two days to walk towards the ford and I continued without stopping. I was surviving on the bare minimum and if I didn't get to Rivendell soon, I didn't know if I'd live to see the future.

I was stepping down from the green plateau in the moorland when I heard the hooves thumping behind me. My heart sank before I even got a chance to see who was behind. 'Not again" I thought mournfully as the horses circled me. I felt fear seize my heart when they circled the diameter around me, at least six of them. A sharp edge of spear extended towards my neck and I stumbled backwards at feeling the cold metal, only to come to an abrupt halt as I felt another digging into my back.

I looked up at the armoured figures, too tall and too refined to be orcs. Their soft features were masked by their headset, and their hair fell in undisturbed waves behind. Their tall, lean bodies majestic in their glow.

"What purpose does a lady have in these land, alone in such times?" the leader of the pack questioned as he took off his helmet. I felt my breath catching in my throat as I saw his face, his voice falling like a soft melody to my ears. I could only say that they were beautiful. Just that. As if that simple word would explain what I saw.

They were beautiful. _Perfectly, breathtakingly, unimaginably, achingly beautiful..._

* * *

 _ **To be continued...**_


	19. (PART-I) Chapter 18: Rivendell

**A/N:** OMG! 11 FAVOURITES AND 19 FOLLOWS FOR THIS UPDATE? I'm literally bursting with happiness. Thank you to all you lovelies *heart**heart*

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 ** _nananatz : _**_Thanks a lot! Hope you continue loving and supporting the story! Enjoy :)_

 _ **Dr Zimmerman:**_ **:** _I'm so glad that you do not find her character annoying but actually like it. Hope that you continue to enjoy the story! :)_

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 ** _ENJOY THE CHAPTER. Please R &R._**

* * *

 **Chapter 18: Rivendell.**

"What purpose does a woman has in these lands, alone, in such dire times?" the voice of the per- _elf_ , that could only be the leader, fell like melody to my ears. In that trance I gaped open-mouthed at their beauty. Even as much as I tried, my mouth would not just make any words. My throat felt parched.

"Miss," the voice sounded again, this time the beauty of it barely masked the hard edge to it. I snapped back to my senses and my eyes focused on his face. One flickering gaze towards the sword barely touching my neck made me take an unconscious step backwards, only to come to an abrupt halt as I felt another cut into my shirt's back. I tensed considerably and judging by their expressions they could tell. The sword recoiled a few inches and let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. The leader still stared continuously, with an unflinching and steady gaze.

I cleared my throat to get a semblance of composure, "I was here to go to Rivendell." I finally said. The silence that ensued with my words made me uncomfortable. I shifted on my feet but paused mid move as I saw the knuckles of the leader turn white against the sword, although it remained at its place. There were no signs of anger or frustration from his face, and I could go as far as to say that I had not seen someone maintain such a pleasantly passive expression before.

At their silence I became anxious, stumbling over my explanation. It would be a cheap lie to say that their pristine, equanimous and majestic presence wasn't contributing to my fidgeting. I could only hope that the heat rising in my neck didn't extend to my face. My gaze dropped to the ground for a moment as I tried to regain my poise.

"I mean- _like_ going to _talk_ with Lord Elrond." In my haste I didn't realise the English words that had slipped past until it was too late.

The leader's eyebrows furrowed. His grip on the sword tightened. Inhaling a sharp breath, I cursed myself silently before trying again

"I didn't mean to say it like that. I mean that I must meet Lord Elrond. That is why I was going to Rivendell."

"The language that you used my lady, what tribe does it belong to?"

"Tribe?" I couldn't help the scepticism that seeped into my voice. English was a tribal language, really? Did I seriously just hear that.

"It is not a tribal language and one of the few reasons that I have meet with Lord Elrond." I turned my head to look at the rest of them before staring at him again.

He opened his mouth to say something before his gaze focused on an incoming figure beyond him and the sword in his hand turned lax. The rest of them also turned to form a wide arc on his both sides and I was left standing in the path of whoever was approaching. The incoming stallion slowed down near us and passed me by to meet with the leader. I stumbled backwards, dodging myself against that big beast. The elf of the horse considered me through a side glance and I was left struck at the uncanny resemblance between him and the leader. He wasn't dressed for battle and adorned robes, that were extremely fine and well made. His charcoal gaze snapped to the leader's identical one. There seemed to be a quiet understanding passed between those eyes, the visitor said something, in a language so alien and melodic while it nearly left me gasping.

 _"Lord Father has requested your presence, we should travel with haste, there is much to discuss."_

Whatever was said was understood. The leader nodded, once, and then his gaze snapped towards mine as if contemplating what to do with me. At his suspicion, I let all the desperation and tiredness to seep into my face. My lips twitched in a want to give a big long speech on why I was standing here, in front of such fictional creatures, dressed in an extremely inappropriate manner (according to their standards), looking like a ugly fly in front of their out of this world beauty but rather I bit my tongue muttering to myself, 'Not like I can harm them with all those big weapons they've got here.'

"I shall be the judge of that Miss." The leader said, and I felt my brow furrowing before I comprehend that he was referring to my mutter. Half ashamed at being heard and half creeped out at their ability to do so I shifted my stare to the extended hand. He looked at my waist pointedly and my eyes shifted to my sword.

I nearly snorted and unstrapped it. " _Yeah,_ right _bro_ right." I breathed out before handing it to him. He merely raised a brow at my use of English, yet again. I wasn't sure what it was. Maybe I truly had lost my mind living alone for so long or maybe I had snapped after my long desertion of my mother tongue. Or maybe I was just frustrated in their presence as they were not like the ones I had thought. But I seemed to be using English quite a Lot without any notice.

The leader gestured to his sub ordinate and that elf steered his horse towards me. Looking at his face and then at the pale hand extended towards me I laughed inwardly. Santa got the shorter end of the stick when the elves were being distributed. Had Julia been here right now she would surely have made an inappropriate joke on their oozing attraction by now.

I grasped the long fingers and was pulled up onto the horse back. The elf trudged forward the horse. I felt the wind rush onto my face and ducked my head behind the rider. The rhythmic gallop of the horse made me relax into its back and I nearly leaned forward in my sleep.

There was just something so peaceful, something so extremely _tranquil_ about the elves. Even the horse seemed to connect with them for they seemed to glide over the foothills rather than the bumpy, sore rides I remembered from a year prior.

I took the time to stare about the landscape, feeling at peace. Maybe because I had never seen the blooming beauty of the foothills in the spring, I felt transfixed by the flora. The grass, becoming a lush green with every trot seemed to lay into a cushioned bed. Various plants, appearing in clusters blossomed with large flowers, their petals still radiant with dew.

We sped across the land in silence, for a few hours before we came across the path that narrowed and twisted across the steep foothill. The hill shadowed the berm and hid the view beyond. The horse slowed to a trot as we moved beyond the lean track.

The view that greeted us made me gasp so loud that the leader's face nearly snapped towards mine. About a mile from our spot on the hill, the valley of Rivendell resided in all its glory. I leaned towards the side to get a better view at the approaching dale. In a moment of serenity, I felt my eyes glazing. My lips parted with a loud breath of amazement as I took in my surroundings. For truly how such a place of timeless beauty could exist in this world overrun by orcs and caught up in the mindsets of the ancient days?

The nature seemed to be one with the dale, the grass greener, fresher. The flowers in florescence and exhibiting the colours so vibrant as if their petals were made from the richest velvet that could be found. The vines twisted intricately over the buildings, stretching far and wide. They crooked and turned on the pillars as if someone had taken time to care for every single strand of the vine that extended from the ground towards the blue depth of the sky. Birds chirped, hidden in their nests in the lush thickness of the trees. Their leaves were vivid and from far not even a single yellowed one could be seen decaying. It truly felt as if the very nature had a pulse that beat thinly in the lush gardens beneath the strikes of hooves and with the take of every breath.

The waterfalls shimmered in the diluted rays of the sun. The light looked to be just right and caused the whole dale to shimmer in the same magic that I had been transfixed by in Hollin.

The architecture was another thing to be amazed by. Wide marble pillars rose from the ground and extended towards the height of the tallest buildings. Stone houses and villas, made in purely Victorian style increased the grace of the scene.

The whole area gave a different, a nearly _magical_ vibe. As if this scene was not meant for the eyes of mere mortals of flesh and bone. Instinctively my gaze shifted towards the pack I was riding with. Even after coming back from battle the grace and poise still clung strongly to their posture, their appearance still seemed perfect.

It made sense then that such dignified creatures would inhabit a valley of a magnificence to rival their own. For that little moment, as I gazed upon the valley, I felt light, peaceful even, as if all the troubles and difficulties I was dealing with were nothing more that the fragments of my imagination. And those were now, in front of these sights, lost in the very depths of my mind.

In my days in Middle-Earth, if I'll ever live to tell this tale of mine then I probably shall always remember Rivendell as that, unearthly, unapologetically appealing. A place of breath-taking grace it was, Rivendell, _Imladris_ , and the one place in whole of this continent that had the ability to make or break my future with its foresight.

* * *

The horses glided over the smooth marble bridge and came to a halt at a circular opening just wide enough to be harbouring this company. Everyone sledded from their horse in one swift motion, their elegance once again left me gaping. If I could just come down from a horse with a part of this ease...

My eyes snapped towards the elf sitting in front of me. His face was bent lightly backwards, and I realised that he was waiting for me to get off.

I felt my cheeks redden in embarrassment and I swung myself over the horse. My feet collided with the marble floor with enough force to leave me staggering and I winced as a bolt of pain shot through my ankles. The elf barely masked his amusement as he slid over the horse. I watched his movements with no little amount of contempt.

Another elf came forward a moment later and the reins were thrusted onto their hands with the exchange of a few greeting in the same language. I furrowed my brow. Not understanding anything again still left me uncomfortable for the memories of my first few months still reigned supreme in my mind. The elf cut short the conversation with a small smile and a nod before asking me to follow him.

The next few minutes were passed in walking towards the back of the circular opening, along a winding path down wards. There was no conversation, for the elf himself was a quiet soul and I, being too fascinated by the nature preferred to gaze around in approval.

Later, as we came to the guest halls, I was passed onto a lady elf who was the keeper of those rooms. I controlled my features quite poorly at seeing the fairer of the fair. If I thought that male elves were cat walk model worthy. Then this elleth was just drop dead gorgeous. In presence of them both I felt conscious of my grimy, dirt laden lesser self. I fidgeted quite visibly and enclosed my hands in front of myself to hide the layers of dirt inside the nails.

The elf left with the barest quirk of his lips in my direction and the elleth turned her soft smile on me. Her lips curled, and her eyes shimmered lightly at the impact. Her dark hair cascaded down her back in nothing short of _glamorous_ waves. Those types of waves for which you must prepare for days for. Like shampooing and conditioning and moisturising the hair for a whole week before straightening the knots and flyaway before curling again. That sort of hard work that lasted for just one night out. Yeah, she was pulling off those hair naturally and the only thought that went through my mind was: ' _Spare my broken self-esteem._ ' Did I think, myself to be hideous or ugly? God no. I was just pleasant to look at. Not drop dead gorgeous but not too hideously disfigured to gag at. Just a normal, white, dark haired twenty-eight years old human. But standing in front of these elves, I was sure that even Miss World would feel neglected.

The elleth led me through the hallways into a large bathroom. For the first time in my stay in Middle Earth I had seen such a lavish bath. The elleth moved forward to open a tap, _a tap_! and hot piping water streamed out of the nozzle. At my gobsmacked expression she gave a light laugh and said something about being more advanced than mortals. What she didn't realise was that it was not because I was seeing such architecture for the first time that I was surprised, hell I had seen greater and better ones in my time, (modern plumbing anyone?) but the fact that I was seeing such structure for the first time in _Middle Earth_ that left me amazed.

"I shall see for a dress to fit you, Miss." her voice floated over, effectively breaking myself from my musings. I nearly blanched at the word dress. Not again. My gaze turned towards her and I bit at my lip struggling to find appropriate words without beings too rude. She gave my expression a searching gaze and then what seemed to be understanding dawned in her features.

"You wish for the same garb that you don?" she inquired. I was surprised by her judgement but smiled nonetheless and shook my head, maybe a little too eagerly. There came her tinkering laugh again.

"If it won't be inappropriate..." I trailed off, trying to gauge her expression.

"No not inappropriate, Miss. There certainly are a few maidens who prefer the garb. Few and far in-between but present nonetheless." Pant wearing elves? Should I have just steered towards Rivendell on my first trip rather than Rohan?

"I shall, see what I can do," she replied, "but till I return, Miss." She gestured vaguely about her, "I feel that you crave this much more that the rest." I gave a light laugh and shook my head. The hot water steamed fresh and inviting, just ready for me to wade in and relax all my sore muscles.

The elleth by then had left and I heard the faint click of the closing door before stripping bare. The warm yet fresh spring air collided with my sweaty skin pleasantly tingling across my body. My clothes pooled at my legs and I did not bother folding them or placing them neatly and in my eagerness waded straight into the large pool. The hot water pooled around my skin and with satisfaction I saw all the dirt and grime floating with the running water to the opposite drain. Utilizing the soaps and lotions I scrubbed my body until nothing, but raw red skin peaked from beneath and the dirt was washed down the drain before closing the water and settling down in the warmth. My newly washed scalp felt cool and my hair light after ridding them of all the oils and grime that seemed to be embedded in each pore. I closed eyes and leaned against the marble that was warmed by the heat of the water.

For a long time, I stayed in the pool, sometimes floating and sometimes swimming across the surface, my skin had turned sinewy long ago, but I stayed in waiting for the elleth to return with the clothes. I must have drifted off sometime for the faint click of the door arose me and I turned to look at the approaching figure. She set the clothes on the uplift and turned around. Unconsciously I sunk a little deeper into the water due to my nakedness.

"I shall wait outside, Miss..." for the first time her voice drifted off while talking to me and one look at her expectant gaze made me realise that she was waiting for me to fill in.

"Lanette- but you could just call me lane"

"Miss Lane" she said, her brow twitched a little as if to frown but she didn't. Maybe these elves don't even frown. It was a little unnerving to see that. As I was sure that with every word they I displayed a variety of expressions but here they were with their perfect impassivity.

I came out from the pool after the door shut behind her soundless steps. Drying myself, I thanked my stars when I saw the firm cotton undergarments, quite like that of Bree but of better quality (Well duh. Elf made?). The corset that I had initially been given in Gondor was what could only be any woman's worst nightmare. Having to continue those three old garments from Bree was a terror. I donned the trousers and moaned softly as the soft fabric settled across my legs. The shirt was a female musketeer style and the small flare of it reached my mid-thigh. I turned around to pick up the previously discarded clothes to find none of them there. Feeling the embarrassment rise in my cheeks I realized that the elleth must have taken them, those messy, grubby clothes that no one should touch except for me. Walking across the room, I opened the door to leave. She stood outside, her long silhouette leaning across the front pillar. She seemed to be alert to my presence even before I opened the doors which made me wonder how much their pointed ears could hear as compared to a normal man. It was quite embarrassing, if I thought of it, that I only knew what elves did in the old wars of Middle-Earth from the texts I had read in Gondor and nothing at all of them, their workings, their life. Just looking at them had left me staggering and I was sure that many things in future would also affect me the same.

We walked in silence for a long time, until we reached another hallway parallel to one of their mesmerising gardens. The doors were built periodically on the wall proving the rooms to be of equal lengths. She stopped to open the way to a room and ushered me inside with a soft hand on my back. The room was beautiful (It looked by now that even if they lead me to some gory dungeons they would still look pretty in this environment). A large window, with soft cream curtains opened out to the backside gardens. The room was furnished well, being nice but not overly crowded with unnecessariness. My gaze went to my old bad placed on the small coffee table that the elf had taken with him. Beside it was a tray of food. Now after being on the road eating nothing but jerky and herbs and catched tid bids, anything washed well and cooked properly with salt and pepper would have tasted like heaven and the food placed on that tray was nothing short of mouth-watering. It was all vegetables and fruit (those perfectly plumb apples), a few blobs of creamy cheese and freshly cooked bread. I felt my feet carrying me to food on their own and I nearly extended my hands but stopped, a question hammering in my mind. The elleth, who was standing by the door seemed to sense my hesitation and moved forward to sit on the twin chair before gesturing myself to one.

"Eat Miss Lane, I am sure you would be hungry after being on the road for so long." she said, her pale hand gestured to the food before pouring out two glasses of whatever was in that jug.

"Why are you doing this?" I blurted out, my eyes darting between her pale hands and the food before coming to rest on her face. Her hands stopped mid-way and she turned her questioning gaze on me. "Doing what Miss lane?", her tone sounded purely curious. "If you do not like the food I am sure I can arrange for something else." I shook my head firmly,

"The food looks amazing right now, but I meant not it," I looked at the food with a small curve of my lips before turning back to her, "Why are you treating me so nicely? I mean not that I don't appreciate it" I quickly added, not wanting to hurt her good intentions, "the leader seemed suspicious of me, so I thought that I'll be like thrown into the dungeons or something..." I trailed off with an awkward laugh. There was silence for a moment before she gave a small laugh. Her silvery voice rang in my ears, "You are not a threat to us Miss Lane until you prove so otherwise." Her tone was decisive and she gestured to the food a bit firmly this time, "You look like you haven't eaten in days Miss, It'll do you good to do so now, to your fill." I faintly murmured true before taking the bread and splattering it with the cheese.

After I was done eating, the elleth got up with the dishes and moved towards the door, just before she opened it she stopped and turned to face me, "As for the leader, it is by his, Lord Eladdan's, order that we have been taking care of you. For this is the Imladris, the last homely home of the elves and Miss Lane, for as long as you stay in these halls you shall be treated as our fine guest." She inclined her head with a smile,

"I appreciate it," I said after a moment of silence, "I can't thank you enough."

"Miss Lane, it would be in your favour if you don't wander far from your room alone, lest you could not find the way back to your rooms." I nodded, knowing my not so much sense of direction. "If you wish to explore you can call me at any time."

"I would but I," I replied, getting up and pushing the chair back into its place, "but I don't know your name." This time it was mine expectant gaze on her.

"Calyniel" she replied and left with a click of the door. I stared at the door for a moment, repeating her name (that she said so elvishly that it was hard for me to pronounce it, if that even made any sense) until I finally got the hang of it. Unconsciously my eyes drifted over to the bed lined with soft mattress and what looked to be the silkiest sheets ever. Letting go of my thoughts and purpose for a while and jumped on the bed, relishing the way its softness cupped my body. Before long, my eyes drifted shut under the soft breeze from the partially opened window. The slight flutter of the curtain being the last thing I saw.

* * *

I woke up sometime along the end of the day, stretching and yawning as I struggled out of the bed and padded over to the window. The sun was setting along a hue of oranges and purples. The natural beauty combined with the serenity of Rivendell was just breath taking. There was a bowl of water placed in the corner, beside it was all the things I would need to freshen up, a soap, a towel, a brush with a bit of paste and even a comb.

Finishing my daily routine, I furrowed my brow when I saw food on the table. From the cold bread I could tell that it had been here a while, but I had only gone to sleep a hour ago, then?

The doors opened after a knock and Calyniel stepped through. Looking at me she gave what could only be a relieved smile. "You are awake, Miss Lane. I was worried if you had fallen ill." she said putting a few changes of the clothes like the ones I wore on the shelve. At my questioning gaze she laughed, "Seems like you are not aware." She came to sit beside me on the table and put her head on her wrist. "You have been asleep for a whole day Miss." I choked on the sip of water I took and with a silent amused look she passed me a bit of sugar.

"A whole day!?" I spluttered.

She just opened her mouth to reply when a knock sounded on the door, "A moment, Miss" she said and moved to open it. For a few minutes there were faint voices and from the back of her head it looked like someone was telling her something. I shrugged turning my head back to the food, my stomach grumbling at the sight. Having a fine breakfast of fruits, salad, some cheese and bread with two glasses of juice I was knocked out. Couldn't even get up from the chair but the food has been so appetizing...

She returned and looked at my slouched self with a smile, "It seems as the food was to your liking, Miss lane"

"It was just _Wow_ , I've been like living on bland jerky for a while...", I replied turning my head to look at her, "Oh and you can drop the miss."

Her brow furrowed, "Drop the Miss?" One look at her made me fathom that she quite didn't understand, "I mean like, you can just call me Lane or Lanette, no miss."

"If that is what you wish.", I gave her a small smile.

There was silence for a moment, "I shall wait outside Lanette, Lord Elladan has asked for your presence to the dinner." That made me perk up,

"Like the leader I met before?" I asked. Her brow creased at the strange sentence but she just nodded mutely before breathing a small laugh, "Yes, the same leader although it will be preferable if you call him appropriately." I got up amused by thought of his face if I called him the 'the stuck-up leader' in front of all,

"Of course, Calyniel."

She left the room, and I dressed into the fresh clothes brought to me. It was still mind blogging how she found such perfectly fitting clothes so easily. My hands twitched towards my waist before grasping that the sword was in the hands of this Lord Elladan. 'I'lI have to ask him for it' I thought frowning. It wasn't that clean with spots and orc blood on it. I still hadn't had the heart to clean it but after a day of rest and food maybe I was coming back into the right state of mind and accepting what I had already done.

Sighing at how complicated my life had already become, I opened the door to leave, sparing one last look behind me to see if I had forgotten something, I fell into step with Calyniel. On the way there was a large mirror adorning the wall, unconsciously I stopped to stare at my reflection that was so different, yet so similar to my old self. My skin wasn't tanned for the days of the summer were yet dawning. My hair had grown a little more than halfway down my back, the chopped ends growing into better shape. 'Should've put them up in a bun or a knot' I thought, not liking the way the split ends grazed at my lower back. My eyes were the ones that left me staggered, they were different (If that even made any sense). Even after my sometimes childish and sarcastic remarks and modern antics, I saw a seriousness in them, _a maturity_ , that I had never felt before. 'Having to run for your life and killing a living being tends to do that to one' I thought dryly, my face twisted, ' and also losing whatever one holds dear' a small voice in my back nagged. A hand on my arm made my attention divert to Calyniel and she for a moment seemed surprised at the array of emotions running through my eyes.

"Your soul is not at peace, mellon nin", she stated it more of as a fact than anything else. I swallowed thickly and plastered a smile on my face before walking again, "Come on, we don't want to be late? Now do we?" She seemed to be thinking something and with a last lingering look at my face fell into step with me.

* * *

Calyniel knocked once on the heavy polished oak. A faint 'come in' was heard and she pointed me inside.

My brow furrowed lightly, "Are you not coming?" She just shook her head once and with a faint murmur of some pending duty she left the area. My hand hesitated on the door knob, for I wasn't sure about what that leader could talk about. The sobriety in his eyes, was a little disconcerting.

I pushed open the door to reveal a study, furnished to obtain a balance between the lavish beauty and homely atmosphere. There were shelves of books crafted on the very walls, even one of them had not an empty space to accommodate anything else. The large desk, made from the best timber, was placed before the huge window. The lush greens and billowing streams could be seen from my spot. It was an ideal place to sit down with a warm cup of tea and a good old book, while the diluted days formed a soft blurred glow on the paper.

My admiring gaze came to an abrupt halt as my gaze met with the tall posture of the leader. I raked my brain to remember his name, as a show of polite Courtesy for it was he who asked for me to be taken care of. 'Lord Elladian or Elladan?' My musings were cut short by his resonant timbre.

"I see that you are well rested, Miss Lanette", I nodded lightly, giving him a small smile of gratitude.

"I did. Thank you for it all." I gestured vaguely, and he nodded before coming around the desk to stand in front of me. I felt discontented, for even though Calyniel's steps were light they had a feeling, but he was so light on his feet that he might have floated over here for all I cared. He was dressed regally, his battle armour disregarded in the place of those fine robes and leggings he now wore. His collar was high, the edges of which were embroidered with gold thread. His leggings were finely pressed, and the leather boots shined from beneath. Long hair tied half in a band were left loose to cascade down his back. His silver eyes still bore with the maturity and solemnity way beyond the years shown from his youthful face. I wasn't a fan of men with long hair, preferring the short fashions of the modern day and time but Damn... he was still beautiful.

The Lord stopped a few steps from me and I craned my neck to look at his above six feet height. "There is a tale Miss Lanette, a lore of ancient times, which I feel that you must be made aware of," his gaze bore into mine as his voice floated across the room. My face couldn't hide the incredulity I felt at his will to tell a 'tale' to me. I had asked to meet Lord Elrond with all urgency and had gotten my hopes up that maybe he was going to introduce me to his father but here he was, calling me down to this lavish study to _tell a tale_. Now don't get me wrong, I was fully aware of the station that lord Elrond held as the leader of his people and of this civilization of elves, and by the great knowledge associated with him it seemed that he was much more than just a Lord of a valley. But never the less he was the only hope I had, of going back to my old life, to my home, to my family... and thus for that very moment I would act selfish, waiting impatiently to meet with that Lord.

Lord Elladan merely raised a brow at my expression and continued as if he never noticed it, "Not to delve into the deep details, for they would require an age to be told. The glorious and agonising days of the past yet are not lost to our kind." He stepped back a step and took the seat in the high chair of the desk, gesturing me towards his front. He continued even before I had a chance of settling into my given seat,

"The first age of this world was marked with much battle, kin slaying among those of our kind and the greater ones. Among them was the dark elf, Eöl, the master craftsman of old times. From his hands were crafted the swords Anguriel and Anglachel." He paused for a moment, his eyes unfocused and head turned lightly to the side as if reminiscing something from his past.

In my impatience I broke in, "Yes, that's good and all but why am I getting the privilege of such a story?"

His eyes turned sharply towards my face, his eyes roaming to gauge my expression, "For his weapons, above all the others had the ability bonded by the curses." He said, his tone suggesting that I he believed me to follow him down the line of his talk. But to his incredulity and my amusement he was abashed at my totally clueless expression.

"He once created a weapon, for the greatest healer in the halls of King Thingol, Nimrolel. It was said that he, Nimrolel had the purest essence of the starlight and his hands were made to only heal the wounds, not to inflict them." His hands clasped nobly in front of him, "Such abilities lead to one's downfall and even when Eöl insisted on the sword to be a pure gift for his service, he had bound it with a curse so powerful that it was unbreakable except by his hands or those of the Maia. The curse was to kill his first living being by that very sword and once it took affect the blood of hundreds would taint the gleam of the hilt." I inhaled sharply. His eyes took on a new sobriety, one not of seriousness but of command, "Five are to carry on this curse, one of them to be not our own. All of them would be renowned healers of their time and four of them had already passed."

He got up from his seat. Pacing across the room he emerged with the familiar scab of my sword, "This is what I meant to warn you about Miss Lanette. This sword, no matter how it came by your hands is not yours to take. All those whose destiny had not aligned with it had died before inflicting the first wound on the battle field. This is how it has survived such long eons. For it is to be only for the hands of the renowned. If you continue with this, I am afraid, your end shall be of your own making."

The words rang in my head as I stared at him in disbelief. Suddenly that scene flashed across my eyes. My first killing, _a living creature_ , surely an orc would be considered one. My hands trembled, and I held them together to quench the sudden, overpowering dread in my stomach.

The way my hand had moved so fast, as if it wasn't in my control. I had doubted my luck again but now...

"But..." My throat constricted, and I gulped.

"Do not despair, Miss Lanette. I shall provide you with a well enough-"

"What if I had already killed with it?" My sharp sentence cut across his mellow tone. For a moment there was deadly silence and then he moved across the desk to stand in front of me, "You did what?" His tone had taken a different tone, the characteristic voice of the elves was added with a deadly undertone.

"Before coming here, I met orcs on the way and I tried to escape and killed one and," by then I was mostly babbling, "I knew that it wasn't possible to move that quickly for me, but I did not give it much thought." His face went totally slack before he tightened his jaw. He looked totally pissed. But the look lasted for only a moment before his face was passive again.

"That is not probable, Miss, for I have not yet heard the tales of a famous woman healer in present times."

He waited for an answer, as if asking me to elaborate. His tone was sharper this time around.

"Are you claiming yourself to be one?"

I thought about it. _Was I?_ True, that I was a surgeon in my world, and that I had not only done medical but also specialisation. But in this day and age... I knew nothing about the herbs, the pastes, the plants, the before modern science treatment. What was a healer if they knew not how to even treat the smallest wound? Surely, I couldn't call myself one. At that very moment I realized that the little confidence about my skills that I had was nothing if not misplaced. I knew nothing, not even in that front.

I closed my eyes and when I replied my voice was not more than a dejected whisper.

"I'm not."

His eyes showed triumph, as if proving me wrong was right.

"Then Miss Lanette you expect me to believe-"

"It is the truth whether you believe it or not." I cut across him, my gaze sharp and unyielding. He stepped forward, his hands clasped at his back. Until there were only a few inches between us. The expression he gave me then was nothing but thunderous, assertive.

"Tell me Miss Lanette, who exactly are you?"

I blinked twice, taking an abrupt step back. The way he phrased it made me think that he knew. As if those eyes could look into my very soul.

"I-" I stuttered, gulping thickly.

"Enough Elladan."

Both of us turned at once. The soft yet authoritative voice floated over the room. An elf, bearing resemblance to Lord Elladan entered the study. If I thought that Elladan posessed grace, then this elf took the very award. He seemed to glide across the room. And yet his presence spoke nothing less that royalty. He face was older, and his eyes bore a look of someone that had seen things more than a simple brain can decipher.

"This is no way to treat a lady, no less a guest." His eyebrow was raised, and a small smile graced his features as his eyes made contact with mine.

Lord Elladan bowed respectfully.

" _Ada_ " he said, in that beautiful language of theirs.

He took a look at my haggard face and then turned to speak to Lord Elladan.

"I wish to have a conversation with our friend here, if you'll excuse us." Lord Elladan looked as if he wanted to complain but he bit his tongue and with a departing nod he left the room. His burning gaze leaving holes in the side of my face.

The new comer stepped forward, before taking the seat around the small coffee table. As opposed to the main chair at the back of the desk. He gestured to his twin chair.

"Sit Lady Lanette,"

I sat slowly, keeping my eyes fixed on his face, still a little bit shaken at the previous encounter.

"I have heard lot about you." That drew my attention. A scowl made its way into my face. As if gauging my very thoughts, he said,

"Elrond at your service."

I tensed looking at him in a new light. Truly, this person seemed enlightened enough to help me. Suddenly my stomach clenched in nervousness.

"Ah, um good to meet you." I said with a dry mouth. I stumbled over my words and my gaze fell to my lap for a moment, in an effort to compose myself. It took every fibre in my body not to just kneel and beg him to send me back.

"I take it that you're satisfied with the hospitality." His voice was extremely friendly, soothing even. Looking at his face I felt myself relaxing a little. His presence was contagious.

"Of course! I'm really-um- thankful."

There was silence and I took that as a cue to talk.

"I needed to ask you something, I mean that I think you're the only one who can help me."

"So, I have heard." He replied. My eyebrows raised.

"You have?" He nodded once, and realisation struck me,

"Ah from lord Elladan." I said, relaxing back into the chair.

"I shall answer your questions Lady Lanette, for I know that you must be brimming with ones, but first let me ask you, do you miss your home?"

The question was totally unexpected. It fell like bomb to my ears and the smile was wiped from my face. One look at his face told me he knew. _He knew_.

"I what?" I stumbled over my words. He knew. He knew but. But _how!?_

"Do you miss the land you left behind?" He asked further. His mellow voice even softer, tilted in what seemed to be sadness.

"I- how?"

He stopped, to look at me truly. "I have seen much Lady Lanette and heard much and even now, I know more than it seems."

"But-"

"I have for seen things about you," he cut across me, "things that I yet not understand." My back tensed, seen?

"Seen? What-" I started, my voice sounded like a hollow gasp. A moment later reality struck me, and my voice appeared trembling when I next spoke, "You can see the future?"

He tilted his head to the side as if considering my words. A small smile graced his lips.

"You may call it that."

My thoughts shifted to that horrifying prophecy I had head. The weight of his words felt like ice cold water.

"Then the prophecy I heard that, was that also?" I murmured, more to myself than to his. Bit that couldn't be true. It just made no sense!

"Prophecy-" Lord Elrond started to say, but I cut across him in a rush.

"There was this man, he had a tattoo on his neck, all the scholars seemed to know who he was..."

Realisation dawned on his face. For once he looked a bit troubled.

"I see. "he said after a moment. His dulcet voice previously soft with concern now appeared hard. "May I ask what he said?"

"I- I'll try, but I think that I don't know it all well enough."

His gaze again softened, "Try Lady Lanette, even if you feel that you do not know, a foretell about one's own fate is not forgotten easily."

I raked my brain for it. And to my surprise I truly could remember it. Like words printed on the back of my mind.

" _O' wondrous lady with a lost purpose!_

 _The heir of passers of the forbidden barrier,_

 _Thee roam'd far and wide to find the healer's touch,_

 _The success of thyself was written among trials._

 _Passing through the frost and the land of Eorl,_

 _Reaching the majestic bearing of men, in search of long lost lore,_

 _Defeated by the purpose engraved in thy's fate,_

 _Thee shall travel west to the night of despair,_

 _Only to find the cause, thee shall return to this lair._

 _Through water, fire, darkness and storm,_

 _In the company of those who shall forever be known,_

 _Thee shall fight for what will become scarce in this land,_

 _Fulfilling the prophecy that was once recited by the grand!_

He leaned back on his chair. His eyes stared away from me and out of the window. There was a long moment of silence during which I fidgeted impatiently in my seat. I wanted to say something but the look on his face made me want to not disturb him. When he spoke, his voice was soft with understanding, as if he was appreciating me.

"Seems like you made the choice."

I furrowed my brows, choice, I didn't know what he was on about. And by then I was beginning to wish that he was straightforward and didn't speak in so many riddles.

"What choice?" I asked haltingly,

"Not to go back to your home."

I recoiled back as if slapped.

"What? No!"

"That is why I am here. I want to go back. There's no way I've gone through all that only to stay. No." I said, my voice loud with disbelief. Lord Elrond stared back into my incredulous eyes patiently, still firm in his words.

"The prophecy tells of your decision, so does your fate that is now adhered with your sword, Agnaria."

It was such nonsense. I snorted looking away, my face crunching in despair, "I-"

"And yet," he continued, holding his held up to cut my tirade off, "I see a choice of paths before you."

"You do?"

"I saw you, Lady Lanette, reunited with those you love." Relief washed unbidden over me, and I nearly stood and jumped in my excitement. At last! Maybe all the dangers I had undertaken will bear some fruit and I'll go back to my home after all.

"You did!" My voice loud with pleasure. For a moment I was lost in my own victory until my eyes took in his look. The extreme joy in me faded at seeing his stony expression.

"And yet, that reunion bought you much grief"

I looked at him in question. Why would I be grieved if I got what I wanted?

"There are conditions, Milady, to every bit of magic performed. And the one force that brought you here was caused by the imbalance of dark and light in this world."

"Will I have to fulfil something to go back? Tell me and I will." The desperation seeped into my voice and by now I was leaning at the edge of my seat almost to fall off. It felt like all those years of travelling my success was just within my grasp and yet...it was constantly slipping away. I was too close to it and yet so far that it made no sense.

Lord Elrond spared a look at my care worn face before he got up and walked to the window. His hands were still clasped behind him, but his gaze was unfocused. I nearly jumped at his voice after a long while of silence.

"I understand your desperation, but it shall be in your favour if you listen to my talk." he said, inclining his head towards the right. His back was still turned, and I could only guess the expression on his face. His hair turned like a waterfall at his movements.

I wanted to speak, to ask him to tell me what I wanted. The last thing I wanted was someone who would extend the talk by some sort of talk or tale. I opened my mouth to speak and he turned to look at me then. His eyes bore into mine and there was a certain amount of deepness in them that I yielded. My eyes dropped to my lap as I gulped down the disappointment. Winning over Lord Elrond was like winning over your Grandparents about a talk of their own life, it was nearly impossible. He knew too much and could see even more. I couldn't take the chance of not knowing the details when he insisted on them so much.

He walked back to his seat. There was a certain uncertainty in his expression, only for a fleeting moment, as if he was double guessing what he was about to tell me. It was for such a short moment that it made even me doubt whether I had seen it, or my eyes were just playing a game. But if there had been something Lord Elrond was unsure about... I felt rocks settling into my stomach.

"There was a man before you, of conditions same as your own." he said. My eyes snapped up to his. I sat there wide eyed in disbelief. Was this common? but how?

"It was eons ago, back in the second age. When i still hadn't been the lord of Imladris." Second age? I raked my brain to find what it was and nearly choked on my spit. It was like thousands of years ago! Not possible that this Lord was alive then. What complete utter nonsense.

"You were alive then?" I still asked him, more out of amusement for an answer than anything else.

"We elves are what you might call, immortal and do not die unless inflicted by a fatal flesh wound." I recoiled back at his tone, disbelief marring my face. The way he had said it had been so natural, just like yeah so, we are immortal what? He didn't seem fazed by my incredulous self and continued with the same sobriety.

"He desired the same as you, my lady, and for that he came before those powers he shouldn't have. He too was met with a condition. A dark spell my lady, the one that desired him to bring his own share of despair to this world."

I couldn't say that I liked where this was going.

"What despair?" I breathed out, my brow furrowing instinctively. Lord Elrond breathed out, a sigh full of sorrow that made my heart fall to the pit of my stomach.

"Dark magic requires such hatred in one's own soul and that spell required the death of ten he would come to love the most in this world, then and only then would he be able to go back."

I flinched back as if slapped. Gasping, my desperate eyes searched his for some kind of prank, some amusement, some joke. I found none. Leaning back on the chair I closed my eyes. In the back of my mind I realised that I was beginning to tremble, but it was a minor detail at that point.

"Death?" even my voice trembled. My words came out as a gasp, stumbling over one another.

"Yes, my lady, death. Your ancestor activated the spell not knowing the condition, and the goblins promised him ten years before his departure."

 _Ten years_? I had changed unknowingly in only a year and half. Ten years was like the making of a very new person.

"He waited for ten years?"

Lord Elrond gave a smile, a rueful one at that. As if he reminisced the days before him. As if he were there.

"He waited for three before finding out the conditions."

"How did he-"

"He fell in love."

That little fact felt nothing short of a blow. I closed my eyes to compose myself. My heart burned a little, pained for the one that came before me.

"Did..." I said, stumbling a bit, "Did that person?" My sentence finished as a wish to not be true. It was cruel, it was too cruel. I couldn't have borne it if the one person that made me feel right in this world was to die by a fate signed by my own hands.

"She did die, in the most torturous way, right in front of him." By now every word that came out of Lord Elrond's mouth felt like a curse. A start of something even more worse to come. My throat felt closed, and tears welled unbidden in my eyes. I looked away, blinking rapidly to not lose composure right in front of him. The previous days had been hard, and this little talk felt even longer eternity.

"How-"

"During an orc siege."

I looked away. A thick silence settled into the room. A tense silence.

"He turned to elves then, begging for help."

"Did you?" I asked, looking at him. I couldn't help but judge him for whatever he was about to say.

"We couldn't.", My disappointed gaze fell to my lap, "There is some magic in this world Lady Lanette, that binds with the very fate of a man." He phrased it in a way that spoke 'We tried our best, but it wasn't best enough' and I couldn't resent him for it.

"Then what did he do?"

"He tried to live away from civilization. So, he wouldn't have to be the death bearer."

That idea made me perk up, it was a good one. A little ray of hope entered me then.

"So, did it work?"

"There was a village he frequented, only to get a few necessities, once a few months.", I nodded, listening intently to his words, "That curse caused the death of the man, who provided him with those things."

Looking down with a gasp, yet another, I clasped my trembling hands together. A voice in my head wanted him to stop because a little part of me could already tell where this was going. A major part of me wanted it to not go there.

"Then came the news of the death of his friends and people that took care of him in this world."

Another heavy silence settled, one that no one made the attempt to break. I took it as a cue to calm myself. One look at Lord Elrond told me that he was not yet finished. I closed my eyes willing to gather courage to initiate further talk.

"What, what happened?"

He came back to us. We made a spell for him that faded his very soul"

I closed my eyes. My expression shifted and even my lip quivered. I dreaded the words that fell from my lips because I was not only asking for what happened to my ancestor but also what could potentially be my fate.

"He died?"

"No, he still roams this land. But none can see him, for his life is barely leaning in his soul. He became formless, soulless and cursed himself to the deepest depths of darkness to forget it all."

Until then I had no courage to even look up at his face. Right now, I was weak, weaker than I had ever been before, and it scared me. No _, it terrified me._

"It worked for him, for there were no more deaths." Lord Elrond's voice cut over my tired mind. The way he stated the phrase was like a fact. A fact that made me resent him.

"Hence I give you a choice Lady Lanette." My increasingly incredulous stare settled over him. Quenching the deepest desire to laugh at the choice, I bit my tongue to let him talk,

"For the spell is now also known by our kind."

My eyes flashed at those words, and the whole year of hardships came bombarding to me. For nothing, I thought bitterly.

"Is there even a choice?", I couldn't help but snap. My eyes were already swimming with tears, and I continued.

"How can you ask me to?"

"You can, but it will be on your conscience.", he said, staring back with wisdom.

I looked down, my neck bowed in defeat. I felt cold. Raforta, Eohere, Cathiel, Butterbur,... all of the people that had helped me while not even knowing the truth about me. How can I stab them all in the back? And even if I did. _Ten Years_. They would not accept the woman I would've become by then. I wouldn't be Lanette Anderson, General Surgeon any more. I would be the Lanette Anderson that had lived through the civilization that would never accept me as their own, without destroying whom I prided myself to be completely. I felt the world spin out of focus. The tears that had before threatened to fall, shrunk back. I felt cold, dry, a biting sensation engulfed my brain. The choice, was no choice at all. I was stuck here, forever and ever. The magnitude of the realisation nearly broke me. Stumbling to my feet, I took two steps backward.

"I- No.", my voice was strained, strained with an effort to not let myself break. Not here. Not now.

"Is there no other way?", I murmured, poking at the fire that had already extinguished. Hoping to find just a little spark to make it brighter again.

"Please tell me that there is!"

"There isn't Lady Lanette."

"Tell me, of your choice Lady Lanette, for your fate still hangs on a light string.", he said, standing up and extending a scroll towards me. The label on it was written in English. 'Whoever comes after me', It was what my ancestor wrote. A parting advice.

"When I make a choice?" I thought that I needed time. I was desperately telling myself that I did. I can be selfish. I can. I can.

"It shall be sealed, not to be turned back."

"I think- I think that" I can be selfish. I thought once again. A small part of my mind screamed in collusion with that though. And then, as if the very heavens wanted to torture me, the faces of all those selfless people who had helped me here flashed before my eyes. The next words made me choke.

"The choice was already made for me."

My fate truly was sealed.

I stumbled backwards, dashing blindly for the door,

"Lady Lanette," I heard the mellow voice drifting over to me. His tone mourned my loss, "when you want to, you know where to find me."

I struggled with the knob and opened it with enough force that it collided with the wall beside it. There were a few people waiting in the frontal lawn, Lord Elladan among them. The all turned abruptly at my arrival, and their gaze widened at my view. I would've looked a complete sight too. With my trembling body, quivering lip, disheveled hair, paling complexing and gasping breaths. With the tears threatening to fall and the world swimming before me I did the one thing that came to my mind.

I ran. Ran until I could feel stinging sensation in my legs, and the sharp pain in my lungs. Ran until I collapsed on the rocky pathway winding across the mountain. Ran until the lights of Rivendell were not more than small blobs at my back. Until I fell and let out all the emotions welling in my body.

I would've been surprised too, had I been in my right mind. Because, those howling gasps, torturous cries and heart wrenching shouts were not mine. They couldn't possibly have been. I couldn't cry like that.

The sad truth was, _that they were._

* * *

 ** _To be continued..._**


	20. (PART-I) Chapter 19: Let it go

**A/N:** Let me just take a moment to say sorry to all the dear readers. I was so busy with tests and schedules (finals are just around the corner!) that I couldn't find enough time to post this chapter. I sincerely thank you all for waiting patiently.

 **Thank you to all who favourite-ed or followed the fic :) And also to all those who took time to read. You guys rock! 3**

 _ **MissCallaLilly:** I'm really flattered you think that! Sorry for the late update but still, enjoy!_

 ** _LisbethMegalomania:_** _Thank you :) Hope you enjoy this chapter as well!_

 _ **Zentangledfox15:** I was a little surprised (but no little amount of pleased) when I saw a series of reviews left by you. It's great to know what part of the chapter actually connects with your readers :) Hope you enjoy!_

 ** _JJAndrews:_** _Thank you so much for the appreciation :) It's nice to know that the OC's likeable (the biggest challenge I've faced yet) and people like to read the story. Hope you enjoy this snippet as well!_

 ** _Winter Kiss:_** _It's not soon but... I hope you still love it!_

 ** _ruler of the cold:_** _Continuing! Your review pushed me to finish the last bit of the chapter. Hope you enjoy this as well :) Ps. sorry for not getting the name right, my computer just knows not how to accept dots between the name. It goes all gaga, Lol._

 ** _ENJOY THE CHAPTER. Please R &R._**

* * *

 **Chapter 19: Let it go.**

The stormy clouds whirled across the plain, far off from my hunched figure but close enough that I felt the dirt shift beneath me. Unfocused gaze roamed across the deep dome of the sky, the brown orbs colliding with the never-ending height. The wind picked up its magnitude, the clouds were travelling towards the west, towards the Darkness deep-rooted in these lands. Quite fitting it was, actually, for such horrendous weather was fated only for the destroyers. The weather should have been damp, cold even in the wake of such vapours but I still sat in the faint warmth and fresh breeze of Rivendell. A weather magically associated with the area a few yards from me.

The wind picked up some magnitude and my slow gaze was dragged towards the slowly moving clouds. The trees nearby, maybe in the front or the back, I wasn't focusing enough to fathom, creaked at the pressure. In the back of my mind, a voice told me to get up, to move from here because sitting here, as the rain would surely bombard on the earth, will not be in anyone's disfavour except me. It was shut quite abruptly, the sound that is, with a single question that reigned in my tired mind. _What is the point?_

It was quite surprising to think that all the vigour in me that previously reigned supreme was now sucked out of my very bones. The only reason for which I had wasted almost two years of my life was gone, vanished like vapours in thin air. It wasn't just the fact that I couldn't go back to the world where I belonged in, where I could live properly. The world that I knew about, that was familiar that was my very home. What also tore my insides was the fact that my whole family, my friends, my colleagues, my acquaintances everyone from my previous days. They were all gone. I couldn't meet them again. Even though I was alive, but for them, I must be pretty much dead. It was the pain and hurt of losing everyone I held dear simultaneously that poked at my heart. It was cold, insufferable, unnerving...

Unconsciously my arms tightened around my quivering knees. My hair flapped in the wind but the cold felt like nothing with my increasing discomfort. Maybe I was truly realising for the first time why they said that people who are discontented with the world become frigid and austere of those around them, Because of their irreparable heartache. It isn't because they become cold and unbearable it is because maybe they cannot feel anything anymore. It's like the rest of the world was just a passing frenzy, lost in the back of their minds. It felt the same to me at the moment, the piercing cold that pressed at my mind was the same jamming sensation, but I couldn't call myself aloof from the world just yet for there were too many emotions clashing in my mind at that moment.

I closed my eyes, inhaling a deep breath. Subconsciously I began identifying them, all the feeling that seemed to be stabbing at my heart.

Anger. It was the first thing my mind made out to be. Anger at the unfairness. Anger at my predicament. Anger at the world I was sitting in. At the world that I had yearned to go back to. At all the people I had left behind. And complete and utter rage at my misleading fate.

Fear. fear of knowing that I could never be truly adapted to my surroundings. That in the end when it will truly matter I won't be able to make my place in the world. Fear of how to survive in a world that completely clashed with my own upbringing and morals and left everything I once held to be true as nothing more than the dust filtering through the hand or the ice crunching beneath the feet. Totally and utterly useless.

Pain. It was engulfing, wrapping and twisting around my mind and burning across the pain and slashing at my heart. Pain that-

I gasped, blinking away the thoughts. My thoughts were in an override, mixing and clashing in my mind until I couldn't form another straight thought.

I closed my eyes, maybe to block my thoughts or to calm my emotions. It was becoming hard to tell my own actions apart. It might be better, I realised, if I did not think of all the feelings I was facing at that moment.. thinking about it solidified, carved it into my consciousness until I faced the reality of my predicament. And if there was one thing that I was still running away from then maybe it was facing the truth. _I couldn't_ , I didn't want to and even if I did I wasn't able to. My mental capacity just faced a full stop there. I stared again, at the moving clouds as they engulfed the blue depth of the sky into their grey hues. They seemed to suck away the very colour of the land causing shadows to form under the fading colours. The hues twisted and turned, cooling around the gay brightness of nature until the only thing I could fathom was painted in black and white.

My musings were cut off by the crisp snap of a stone rolling off the path. I tensed when I realised that the sound just came from beside my spot. For the first time, my mind steered clear enough for me to make out the shadow of a man, over my profile. Looking up I was met with the same face with whom I had arrived in Rivendell. The elf whose name I wasn't even aware of. My mind screamed at me to ask about his presence there but in the light of recent events, I was too sluggish, too passive to make my body and mind connect. As if every part of my body had a mind and life of its own. Working and hurting separately.

His eyes took in the surrounding in one swift gaze, my haggard appearance, the rocky pathway, the impending downpour and the misty vale below before he dropped on the ground beside me. I tensed then, not wanting anybody to intervene in my private moment. I looked at him sideways, at his arm resting on his knee and his leg extended before him and a string of envy passed my mind at his relaxed posture. Shifting my gaze to the front, I opted to pretend as if he were not present.

"You should leave here.", his voice nearly made me snap out of my sentimental reverie. Looking at him from the corner of my eye, I chose not to answer. The reason I was alone at such a moment, in such a significant turning point in my life, was that I didn't want others to console me, or pity me or even try to be nice. Because even if I was turning into a douche, I did not have the patience nor the heart to deal with anyone from Middle-Earth. The anger surging in my veins was ready to burst out and this man-elf right here was just calling for it.

Waiting for his leave, my anger sparked when he continued to stare at me with that passive expression. I turned my gaze away, having no confidence to look into his knowing eyes. Elves were complex like that, having centuries of knowledge and the wisdom of ages hidden behind their youthful appearance.

"Maybe _you_ should leave," I said, looking below, beyond the valley towards the greenish hue darkening the far path. He shifted, turning his front so that he could easily see the side of my face without craning his neck. He followed my gaze towards the darkening path and a soft sigh escaped him.

"A storm is coming," he said, his tone told me that he wasn't merely gesturing to the impending tycoon.

"Can't be bigger than the fucking storm raging in me right now." I murmured, tightening my arms around my knees. It was meant for myself but I remembered their super hearing abilities and the frustration sparked in me once more. If this elf really knew how to gauge the situation then he will not mention it. I felt like he wouldn't, he seemed to be able to read one's heart...

"It shall pass" Scratch that. Reading one's heart my foot. He couldn't even see my increasing irritation or even if he did he was pretending not to notice such blatant emotion. This day was turning out to be the best one of my life.

For the first time since he had intruded upon my mopping, I turned to face him fully. Putting a hand on the rocky back and the other at my hip, I squeezed both of my hands, in an effort to calm down and not to knock this elf right off this mountain, no matter how tempting it might be. Although I felt the rock cutting into my palm, I could tell by the vein throbbing at the base of my neck that all the efforts of calming myself were just crap.

" _Pass?_ " My voice was dripping with scepticism as I glared at the side of his face. He turned to look at me. Until we both were facing each other. My glare still rested on his face, that was distant against the whirling dust of the rising wind. A hint of compassion reflected from his face as he spoke his next words.

"Yes, you shall learn to live your life here."

I snorted. The sound faded as the wind picked up its magnitude. The dust caused me to squeeze my eyes shut. For a long moment, there was silence. Partly because I wished the wind to settle down and partly because I didn't know what to say.

"Maybe I don't want to learn to live at the age of nearly twenty-nine." I finally broke the quiet, wiping a tired hand across my face. With a start, I realised that my hands were shaking. It took large effort to even raise my arm. Funny, how I felt the life sucked out of me. I sighed, closing my eyes and leaning back at the rocky mountain and loosened my arms. I felt a bit weak, the world spun and it felt better to just block the view out.

"Really?" His dubious voice cut across my musings. I inhaled a sharp breath. The emotions seemed stuck in my throat. I might have appreciated his concern some other day but at that particular moment it just made me frustrated and angry and all the emotions that I wanted to keep locked up in my heart just seemed to break away. Like a dam, whose thin walls no longer supported the cracks.

"Yes really!", I snapped, my voice hissing in barely controlled rage. I could tell that he was not expecting this anger. For his detached expression slipped away for a moment into a look of a startled man before that darned careful mask adorned his features yet again. I inhaled sharply, grabbing a large piece of rock with my right hand. I pressed at it and the pain helped to wash away the anger, even if just a little. "Look I know you're here to help but you're really pissing me off right now-"

His gaze turned startled once more, and at his quick look at my pants, I was left many things including incredulous.

"Not literally pissing. Angering me, I meant..." I supplied and his posture relaxed a bit. On top of all this infuriating talk, I had to spell out my meaning for him too? Nuh-Uh.

"You know what, just leave me alone." There it was, yet another tired plead.

A long moment passed. He stayed at his place. Looked like he wasn't leaving anytime soon. I sighed. If previous lives existed then I must have been a pretty shitty person for Karma to hit me like this. Was I suddenly starting to believe in previous life? More than one life? What was I even thinking about?

"There is a storm coming."

For a moment I tensed. Was he just arrogant bordering on misplaced confidence or just plain stupid? Did he just casually repeat a comment, even though I was waiting for him to leave?

"Are you serious right now?"

"The clouds-"

"I know about the damn clouds!" I cried, throwing the large stone across the valley in exasperation, "and I know that there is literally a storm coming"

I took another sharp breath, "But unless you want a figurative one to rain on you right now, leave here."

"It always passes." Yet. Again his tone spoke of my delirium rather than the arriving storm. It was proving to be extremely exhausting to keep up with his changing thoughts.

Still, I scoffed at his words. Last time I checked, he had not space travelled into a whole new dimension.

"How would you know."

He considered my words for a moment. And then after almost an hour of sitting here with him, I saw his posture slacken as a sigh reverberated from him.

"I don't know, and will not pretend to know the extent of your pain, Lady Lanette,", he said, his voice held a conviction which I didn't understand, or ' _didn't want to understand?'_ I asked myself before his voice pulled me out of my musings, yet again, "but I have always admired one thing in man, and that is their ability to surge through the hardships and conquer their heartbreak"

It was surprising to see such softness in his tone, and as his glazed eyes stared down the valley I wondered what loss he had suffered to be sitting here and wanting me to manoeuvre through it with such stubbornness.

"Elves fade, when inflicted with such a situation, and yet here I see you sitting depressed and yet still, somehow, you have that will to live behind the veil of your boiling emotions."

His eyes stared at mine, and I couldn't look away. Because at that moment it was not about the challenge, it was something of a deeper understanding that seemed to exist between us even though I knew nothing about him and neither him my true story. Funny, how fate ties such peculiar knots.

"A will of fire that still burns."

"That is why come to Rivendell Lady Lanette, for if we cannot do much at least we can help you accommodate a little to this world around you, to start over a life that is still young." I looked away. Something stuck in my throat and the tears that had been burning for a while now threatened to fall.

Was it truly it? Were the days of my old life just gone like that? Vanished like a vapour in the storm, leaving no sign behind? Was I supposed to accept this so easily? Accept the fact that I am not to meet my family, my friends, my colleagues, _the people I loved?_ Hell, I'd be happy even to meet the people who annoyed the hell out of me. All of these sentiments were just because I wanted so desperately to go back. So severely wanted this all to end as one heck of a dream. To wake up in my old comfortable bed and find the wind filtering through my drawn curtain. To wake up to that annoying sound of the alarm, only to snooze it off again.

I wanted to get up like I did before. Get that work clothes on and rush through the house taking a cup of steaming tea and munching on a rolled toast. I wanted to drive my car across the lanes and to go into that huge hospital. I wanted to sit behind my desk as I checked the patients. Stand in the operating room to feel that need to save a life. And then after all that, I wanted to go out to party with my friends. Or to go back to my parent's place to crash their dinner and then sleep in my old, childhood room, that despite all the years was still as it was. And now, suddenly, to accept that I have to be here forever, no _no_ , I couldn't possibly do that.,

"It doesn't work like that, It isn't so damn easy." I gritted out,

"That is why I said that you can do it."

That single sentence felt like a slap to me. I whirled around to face him, just as a raindrop fell on my eyelash. Finally, the water descended.

"I-"

"You've been doing it for last year," he said, cutting across my plea. He was right, just when I wanted him to be wrong. God, why?

"That's right but" I stopped, considering whether I wanted to venture there. All the thoughts of constraint flew out of the window as a lone tear escaped my left eye and mixed with the layers of rain.

"It hurts so damn much.", I gasped, closing my eyes to let the rain wash over my face. I was shivering all over, from cold or sadness I wasn't sure. "I never thought that everything I knew about, _I held dear_ , would just be snatched away in a moment"

The tears wouldn't stop now. They mixed with the raindrops falling on my face and soaked my clothes. In some unconscious part of my mind, I wondered if he would leave as the storm was only going to grow stronger but he stayed there, sitting relaxed as the rain poured over him, not making a single movement of displeasure. At that moment I was thankful. No matter how much I had cursed at him, irritated him and asked him to leave, he was still there. Maybe, just maybe the one thing that I felt strongly about this world was the sentiments of the people. Their morals might be old and shabby but they weren't dishonourable. So I looked at him sideways, his figure blurred in the wake of my tears and the I sniffled before pouring out all that I was thinking, feeling and regretting now.

"There wasn't even a chance for a goodbye, because we were supposed to be meeting this Sunday at a barbecue but it didn't happen"

"This mother's day, my sister told me that our mother had seen this diamond ring in the store and that she wanted it but I went to a conference and forgot to give it to her and I still," the words stuck in my throat, "still hadn't given it to her."

The rain washed the mud, down the mountain. Its magnitude increased to the point that I couldn't see one metre ahead of me. It splashed on my body yet I still felt numb. I should've felt the stinging pain and yet I didn't. _I couldn't_.

"Last month my father reprimanded me when I had added too much sugar in his coffee. But I was tired after my night shift and had told him that he was never happy with me."

That look on his face when I had uttered those words. The look that I had disregarded that day because I was so tired and couldn't think straight. Now It haunted me.

"To think about it, I hadn't made him another cup since then."

I had never been expressive with my feelings. And saying those three simple words to my family felt so cheesy and left me embarrassed. It was the same with all four of us. But now, I wanted nothing more to hug them and say 'I love you, Mom, Dad, my sister, _I love you all so much that it hurts_.'

What would I do to have my mom's arms around me as she pulled me to sleep? As she told me how annoying her children were and when I would say but you still adore us she would sigh and look at us both with such love that thinking about it now shattered my heart.

"I was so scared coming here," I continued, wiping a hand across my face, "I hate this world and all its morals and values because I know that I have never even thought of the things this world so readily accepts" How would I live here. As a woman. As a working, career woman. What would I do? Who would listen to me when I would say that I wanted to be on the road. I could fool people for a few years but I could not change their minds forever. What would happen when I would be old and lonely,? What about now? Would anyone sincerely care?

"The only thing that held me until now was the fact that in the end, I will be able to go back but now..." Now, that dream was gone. Burned down. Never to spark hope again. The world felt closing around me. The rain seemed to be drowning and I gasped, not remembering how to breathe. The shadows closed in on me and when I cried out in pain and anger. The elf looked at me. He seemed to take in my desperation as if it harmed his own soul.

"I don't know what I am supposed to do" my whisper was carried away by the wind. The howling roars of the air wiped out my soft plea as it floated from my mouth and vanished before me. And yet he heard it sitting beside me and a lone tear left his eye. I wondered minutely if I had renewed some memories that were left to be buried. Some heartache that should have been left cold.

"I was the same age as you Lady Lanette when my parents sailed to Valinor."

Valinor. I raked my tired brain. Nothing. I remembered nothing. "In the immortal lives of elves, one is still considered a youngster after a few centuries."

I listened to him. Without making a sound because something told me that this plea was begging to be heard but never was. That he wanted to pour out his anguish but never could. What better place was to say it, than in the company of a person that had just stripped their emotions bare in front of you. I realised then, why people said that the quickest and strongest bonds were created over mutual empathy.

"I didn't know what to do either, for they were the only family I had at that time, it took me a while and help from a lot of my fellows to finally let go but I did it."

It didn't look like he had moved on. Our eyes me for a moment and he seemed to understand my silent question because his gaze met with the rocky path beneath us. The passive mask of the elves was gone. Left with the pain and anger that left him alive and so very humane. I let it go. Somethings are just better left unsaid.

There was a long silence. I wiped another hand across my eyes to wipe off the tears. They were swollen and most probably red. My hair plastered across my face and neck and my clothes soaked against my body. What a pretty sight I must look like.

My gaze wandered over to the left side of the valley and even under the hollering rain I could make out the soft warm glow of Rivendell. The storm didn't descend there. It felt serene against the weather outside. Just like the storm that raged on me was nothing for the people here. How apt.

The elf broke the silence again. This time his shaking voice had calmed to the point of previous detachment but his expression remained troubled.

"I won't dare to compare my situation with yours, for living in a world entirely parallel to the one you were born in must be inexplicable,"

You have no idea boy, I sighed, listening to what he had to say.

"Still," his voice held a new persuasion, "Still, you can move on and carve out a path in the barren life of this era"

"Why do you even," I inhaled sharply before continuing, "even care?"

There, the question that I had asked every person that I had come across in this world. Why do they care? and care for a stranger. _Just why?_

He seemed to contemplate the answer. Because maybe we both knew how much this answer mattered. To me, to him. For my new beginning, for the new life, I was about to undertake.

"I felt your bravery," I felt a similar smirk pulling at my lips. The same bravery, that I couldn't see but somehow they did. What absolute rubbish, "no one can survive for so long in an entirely different situation but you did, moving across the world in these dark times only to find your purpose."

"Not everyone is able to do that." Yeah right. I turned away uttering a small scoff and a smile pulled at his face. Maybe he was expecting my incredulity.

We sat there for a long while. The silence reigning between us was thick but both of us had enough thoughts to not bother.

The rain washed down and dimmed to a slight drizzle. I shivered and sniffled, this time against the freezing cold and the throb inside my head increased until I groaned in pain. The elf took one look and me and got up. His fine robes soaked fully and sagging across his shoulders. He extended one arm and his hand looked pale and cold but still somehow, clean of the grime. I stared at the extended fingers and the at his bent figure until he sighed. He closed his fingers before extending them again. In the same way, he had done just yesterday when we had arrived. How the situation has changed in one night.

"Sometimes it is nice to accept a friendly hand" he commented and I grasped his hand and he pulled me up. Looking at him sideways, I chose not to answer.

* * *

The next two days passed while sleeping.

It must sound impossible but that's how it was. I got back with the elf, whose name I still wasn't aware of, and went straight to my rooms. Keeping my head down, I passed through the hallways, ignoring any person I came across until, in my haste, I collided with the impatient figure of Lord Elladan, waiting outside the door. I looked up then and whatever he was going to say died on his tongue as he took in my haggard appearance.

"I-" he halted, his gaze flickering to the scroll in his hands and somewhere in my mind I registered it to be of the one who came before me. Without a word, I snatched it out of his hands and moved to the rooms. He opened his mouth to say something but couldn't so as I smashed the door with a small nod of acknowledgement. The knocking stopped abruptly at the click of the lock.

I wouldn't say that talking to that elf didn't help. It did, but maybe only for that moment as the rain pattered down on us. The grief I felt went way deeper and was not something to be washed away with just one talk. With my soaked clothes, I fell onto the bed not even thinking for one moment that maybe I needed to change.

Then I did the one thing I always did when dealing with my problems. I slept.

In my defence, I went to sleep in the afternoon, so it wasn't surprising that I woke up the next day. It was early dawn and the diluted rays of the sun collided with the thick fabric of the curtain causing patterns all over the room. I didn't have the strength nor the heart to get up. I felt drained, to the last drop of strength and the throbbing in my head made me groan out loud. I had no modern medicine and if I were to stop this increasing migraine I would have to move out of this little sanctuary and talk to others while the treated me as something fragile enough to break in this pitiful condition of mine. Finding no other path, I closed my eyes again.

When I woke up again, it was already deep into the night. The soft, yet persistent knocking on my door continued for another moment before the person behind the door uttered a sigh. Then there was silence. 'Maybe they have left', I thought, my mind cloudy and blank as I tried to blink away the sleep but what could I say about the elves. Their steps were so silent that I wouldn't even know if someone was pacing out there.

I tried to get up but to no avail. My body felt stiff against the mattress and wouldn't move. I tried wriggling my fingers and realised that they were numb. By that time, had I been in my right mind, my medical instincts would have kicked in because numb body after sleeping was not a good sign any day. And yet there I laid, giving up on making my fingers move as I stared at the canopy of the bed. The mud from yesterday caked my body and the dryness felt uncomfortable and-

My thoughts were cut off by yet another knock and a soft "Lanette" made me fathom the presence of Calyniel, and so I tried my best to make my body move until I could get up effectively. But rather than opening the door and assuring her, I threw off my sticky boots and the over shirt before turning away from the door and laying down again.

I was surprised that I could even sleep by then. Although, sleeping was not how I would describe the next hours until the dawn. It was more of like a cinema, a tape going on in my head reminding me of all the things that were, that are, and what could've been. I saw them on the wall facing me and I closed my eyes in an effort to cancel them out only to see them printed on my lids.

'Hallucinations due to hunger' Some part of me said, but the said hallucinations cancelled that small voice of maturity and sense until I was again rendered as useless and petty as a child throwing a tantrum. How nice.

* * *

 _"Get Doctor Garcia now!" I yelled at the passing nurse as we dragged the stretcher to the emergency operation theatre. Taking another swift look at the bleeding patient, I got on the stretcher myself to press his profusely bleeding wound. The damage to his liver was severe and with the huge amount of outward bleeding and internal rupture, it was a miracle that he hadn't died yet._

 _We got to the operating room in haste and the staff had laid out the surgical equipment. I got off the stretcher after asking the resident to hold the pressure on his abdomen. Taking the clothes, I changed and cleaned in all the haste._

 _An impatient sigh escaped me as I looked at the clock. The patient was dying and Dr Garcia was not here! I raged inside. Again I cursed the hierarchy of the hospital. I had gotten my specialisation from the UK and had passed the National exam back here in California and yet the director still had to approve my Attending Physician promotion. Because my medical knowledge wasn't enough based on my "British" studies. I couldn't exactly blame them too, having saved half of the years it took in America. Still, passing the exam with flying colours surely meant that I deserved it. Being the general surgeon I was, I couldn't blame them for putting me in the emergency ward but still, my application of the trauma surgeon passed my head as I instructed the anaesthesia to be given and laid out the mechanisms that would be needed for the impending surgery._

 _The residents followed politely, having a series of successful operations under one's belt and being called the new ace of the hospital (After the talented, handsome, polite and genius Doctor James Garcia, that is) helped the matters but right now as the agonising clock ticked above us I felt anxiousness taking over my bones as I tapped my feet waiting for Dr. outside the ward. My arms strained to withhold them at sixty degrees (in an effort to not get them dirty after cleaning) I craned my neck to look at the deserted hallway. Being a fellow was agonising like that. It was a big operation, one that couldn't be undertaken without a senior and the only senior at duty today was Dr Garcia, who at this time might be busy with some other operation._

 _I cursed lightly, moving into the room to observe the CT and FAST that had just come out. The symptoms were severe and it would be appreciated if the doctor could-_

 _"Dr Lanette, the symptoms!" Doctor Garcia swept inside the room. His operating suit on and gloves still bloodied from the previous operation._

 _My instincts kicked in and I placed the scans on the small table beside him._

 _"CT and Fast came out. Grade 3 haemorrhage. The liver is damaged and there seems to be a graze to the pancreas. Autophagy may occur, yet has not started. Peripheral hypo-perfusion is severe. The patient is in a state of severe shock. Capillary refill is slow and is the major cause right now." I said putting on my own gloves as I moved to stand in my position._

 _"Vitals?" he asked, putting on new gloves provided by the nearby nurse._

 _"Blood pressure decreased by 28, rapidly decreasing. Heart rate is too rapid. Cardiac arrest may occur. Mental shock is severe."_

 _"Put up intravenous fluid. See the blood group and give his blood."_

 _"Done sir."_

 _"Nice. We'll do a laparoscopy and if the need arises we'll move to surgery." I stiffened at the order. I had just prepared everyone for direct surgery and here..._

 _"But Dr Garcia isn't it better to have immediate surgery." I supplied. In my anxiousness, I failed to see the stiffness of his expression and the silent sighs of the nurses. Dr Garcia's cold gaze rested on me for only a moment before he muttered a "Move!" to get us to work. Looks like we have to go that way. I put my little idea in the back of my mind and smiled in triumph as the treatment ended successfully._

 _Three days passed in a flurry of work and family gathering and the next time I got to the hospital to perform another critical surgery, I was told that the said surgery, of my month old patient, was to progress without me._

 _"What do you mean I am not to do it!" I asked the startled young nurse, my voice taking a harsh undertone. I had treated that patient for a full month. It was so unprofessional to take my right like that. Yes, the surgery was no doubt critical but unless it had taken even critical undertone and another attending physician was required there was no way I was not to perform it._

 _Nurse Jane, a motherly old lady, seeing my increasing frustration took her seat behind the counter, shooing the young nurse onto her way. Seeing the creases on her cocoa face I quietened a little, hoping that she would elaborate._

 _"Doctor Garcia himself requested someone else to perform the surgery with him."_

 _"He specified by name?" I asked, my heart sinking a bit. There were five fellows in our year and six attending physicians. One of each physician, except for the senior Dr Watson, was to take a fellow under their wing for a few months. The doctors hadn't specified anyone yet, but everyone knew that the best shot they had was to work under the young ace, Dr James Garcia. Not only the age gap won't be of a generation, making communication easier, but also everyone in the prestigious hospital agreed, proudly and sometimes begrudgingly, that he was a jewel among the stones in the medical field. Being under his wing was actually a big score. Dr Garcia had not till now asked specifically for someone but if he had now..._

 _Nurse Jane looked uncomfortable at that. For a moment her gaze dropped to her lap before moving up to meet mine._

 _"He specified that he did not want to work with you, Dr Anderson." I took a moment to decipher the blow._

 _"What?" I asked, my heart sinking in my chest, "Why?"_

 _No doctor has yet specified their fellows but everyone was trying to make a subtle impression. If Dr Garcia himself has requested me to be removed then all those extra operations had just gone down the drain._

 _"I think that he is not happy Dr Anderson," Nurse Jane continued and my eyes shifted back to her. Because the only fellow on duty now aside from you is Dr Julia Longfellow and he preferred her over you."_

 _Now that was a huge blow to my pride. Everyone knew that Dr Julia had become a fellow because of her connections. There are two major chains of hospitals. Dr Julia being heir to the one and our hospital is the part of another. Just to say the directors were quite chummy with each other and it hadn't taken long for her to become a fellow._

 _I knew that it was wrong to judge based on family connections and I truly had believed, even if for a short while, that behind the bitchy facade was hiding a talented surgeon. Well, until I had seen her vomit all over the place when I had undertaken an operation with her as a resident. Or when she had been disgusted to give first aid to anyone who was not good looking in her books. Or when a patient had nearly died because she couldn't be bothered with 'one patient too long'._

 _If Dr Garcia truly didn't want me there than I had messed up real bad._

 _My phone tinged with a notification. Trying to hide my ever increasing disappointment, I gulped when I saw the said man's message. It was short and strict, quite apt with his persona_

 _'Dr Anderson meet me in my office. Now."_

 _I walked towards his room, unconsciously fixing my coat and brushing off imagined dust, all the while trying to remember what I had done. His office seemed demeaning and I knocked twice before I heard his approval. Inside Dr, Garcia was overlooking files, piled neatly on his desk. Vaguely he gestured to the seat in front of his desk and I took it, without uttering a word until he talked._

 _"I'll get to the point Dr Anderson," he said, leaning forward on the seat with his hands clasped firmly in front of him. "What you did in operation theatre a few days ago. Did you understand the complexity of your words?"_

 _I raked my brain furiously about what I had done. In situations like these, it was in your goodwill if you said that you did remember and was extremely sorry but I just looked down at my hand clasped in my lap._

 _"You do not even know what I am referring to, do you?"_

 _"I'm sorry." I uttered, swallowing to keep my voice steady._

 _"For what?" he prodded. His eyebrow was raised and he wanted to know what I was sorry for. Even I did not know what I was to be sorry for. I had checked the vitals, considered the scans and had waited for the operation and... wait._

 _I tensed as I remembered my unasked opinion and the glare I had received in return. I knew that I shouldn't have spoken out of turn like that but if Dr Garcia was holding a grudge because of that, then he really was an extremely petty man._

 _"I'm sorry for speaking out of my turn," I said. Looking up to assess his expression. My syllables rolled out slowly as if gauging his reaction to my speech. For a moment he looked surprised but that look was gone so fast that I thought to have imagined it._

 _"So you do know it." he contemplated for a moment, "but you still don't know what was truly wrong."_

 _I looked down again. Being humble was the only thing that was going to work for me now, it seemed._

 _"Tell me, Dr Anderson. If you were a resident or even a nurse and you saw a fellow, during a critical operation having a disagreement with the Doctor in charge, what will you think."_

 _Then it clicked. My face flushed with embarrassment._

 _"Either the Doctor in charge is not right and if he doesn't consider the opinion then he is too arrogant to take one."_

 _"Or." he prodded further, my blunt sentence wasn't bothering him._

 _"Or the Fellow thinks too highly of herself and maybe doesn't know how to deal with operations."_

 _He leaned back, satisfied._

 _"I like opinions of others working with me and I mostly ask for it. During a critical operation, the whole team has to work efficiently. You thought about the second path but so did I and in my mind, the first one came out better. If I had been unsure, I am not arrogant enough, to not ask opinions."_

 _I nodded. Now my simple words seemed far from what I had initially thought them to be. Simple, that is._

 _"I can work with a Dr. that doesn't know how to hold a scalpel but I cannot work with a Doctor who can cause discord within the team at a critical point."_

 _"I understand. I'll be careful." I said. Hopefully, this will be now resolved._

 _"No. You won't be careful," he replied with an affirmative that made me look up._

 _"Find it." he ended as if in dismissal._

 _"Find it?" I asked, glued to my seat. Dr Garcia wasn't going to let this go and now he was talking in riddles._

 _"Find what, Doctor?"_

 _"No matter how much of an ace you are Dr Anderson. In the end, it will be useless if you do not let out your anxiety. We both know, as medical staff, what role psychological health plays in one's efficiency."_

 _Mental health? Now it was about my mental health. I must have gaped in indignation because I heard him chuckle._

 _"You took my words the wrong way Doctor," he replied, an amused smirk curling across his face, "I'm not raising concerns about your mental health." Even his tone was now amused. He was always serious and now he got amusement out of teasing. What a jerk- I meant What a senior._

 _"I meant," he turned serious once more, "our job is an anxious one. It is impossible to be at ease when knowing that a single mistake can cost someone's life."_

 _I nodded in affirmation. After these years I was sure that the knots in my shoulders had become permanent. "It is the job of a Doctor to second guess himself, to think of all the alternate ways and then making a decision based on one's own conscience. It turns out to be a cause of ever-increasing anxiety."_

 _But still what was it? What was I supposed to find?_

 _"Everyone should have an outlet for such anxiety. If it coils inside someone. It could lead to inefficient work. Every senior has one. Even if it's crying it still works,"_

 _"sometimes," he added as an afterthought._

 _Oh. An outlet. I nodded instinctively. I wondered what he had as an outlet and then quenched the thought. Professionalism._

 _"I can tell that you do not have one. It'll be better for you to find one."_

 _I sensed the dismissal. I got up from my seat and nodded._

 _"I'll try to find it." He nodded and uttered a nice before concentrating back on the files. I reached the door when I heard him say, "There is an operation this Thursday. You better have an outlet by then. Or I'll call Dr Julia again."_

 _I couldn't help the smile. I was on track for the under-wing position again. The passing workers held me from performing a happy dance. Or else I would've busted out that Gangnam style._

 _XxxxX_

 _I washed my hands up til my elbows, carefully, getting ready for the upcoming operation. Dr Garcia, dressed in his own operating suit came around the corner. We exchanged greetings as he set about to wash his arms too. The vitals had been already discussed._

 _"Did you find it?" My gaze shifted towards him. Of course, I knew what he was talking about._

 _"I did."_

 _He raised a brow, waiting for me to continue. I felt my cheeks reddening so I ducked to the side to dry my arms._

 _"I watched lion king."_

 _There it was, the booming laugh._

 _I remembered the cuts on his hands after the operation he had performed two days ago and a little bit of prodding led me to find out that he preferred rock climbing._

 _"At least I won't fall off to my death." I supplied, looking pointedly at his recently healed cuts._

 _I was rewarded with a gobsmacked expression. It was now my laughter that reverberated off the walls._

* * *

I didn't even know why that memory came to be. Maybe because it made me laugh then or maybe because in the coming year I had developed more of a friendly relation with Dr Garcia, whom I later came to call James. But it made me think for a moment. Find something, huh? What can I do James? There ain't no lion king here.

* * *

 _"Hey. 'Zup." I snapped out of my review. Turning around, I was met with a very smiley and very tanned (not that I'm complaining) Dr James Garcia._

 _"Did you just say 'Zup'?" I asked, moving around the bed to take the coffee he had bought. One sip. It was actually tea. I murmured thanks._

 _"I knew it wasn't a nice phrase but I had to try it, so what better place than with a friend."_

 _"A cool-headed, nice and smart friend, you mean." I waggled my brows and he uttered a laugh._

 _"How's it going Dr Lanette, now that you're a full-time physician."_

 _"In sleeplessness." Not even joking_

 _He nodded once. Then his haze switched to the file I was reviewing and the patient on the bed in general ward._

 _"Aren't the vitals right?" I nodded, "Then what's with him?"_

 _I sighed, rubbing a hand across my brow, "It is more of a psychological problem. Dr Kate said that he will wake up only if he wants to... If that makes any sense."_

 _"That how mental health works."_

 _"Poor thing. He has no family." My gaze went to his youthful face now pale and sickly. Only 21 this poor boy._

 _"No friends. no one to return to. Maybe that's why..." I trailed off. James looked contemplating as we turned the corner and walled to his office._

 _I sat on the chair, and was about to ask about his vacation when he cut me,_

 _"Do you really think that Lane" I scrunched my brows._

 _"That one lives for their loved ones?" he supplied, sitting across me._

 _"Doesn't everyone?" I said, my tone taking on a matter of fact tone, "I mean why would one live if they have no one to be with them truly. It'll be too lonely and hard..." I trailed off. My heart wasn't truthfully one with what I had just said._

 _"Think of it like this. If somehow everyone you love, your parent, your friends die," he raised both hands when I opened my mouth to interrupt, "I said suppose. Would you kill yourself too?"_

 _"Of course not!" I scoffed. "It would be hard, yes but I wouldn't kill myself."_

 _"Why?_

 _"Because it's my life-" I chuckled then. He wanted me to say that._

 _"See, No one lives for others. One lives for themselves. Because it's their life and they do not want to throw it away."_

 _I nodded, a soft smile taking its place on my face._

 _"We only live for ourselves. Our loved ones make life worth smiling."_

 _"Right. I understand."_

 _"Enough of that," he said waving a hand, suddenly embarrassed about his deep observations, "Now, you have to hear this. The other day..."_

 _And then I tuned into his story, the conversation moving to the back of my mind as he told of his week in Hawaii._

* * *

My body felt weak still. And I wanted to turn to the other side but somehow I couldn't move. There was it again, that nagging voice in the back of my mind. The memories stopped after that and like a trance, I felt a line repeating,

 _"No one lives for others. They live for themselves. Because it is their life and they do not feel like throwing it away."_

'But,' my heart argued, 'it wasn't the same. I had lost everything.'

'Not yourself,' the voice echoed again, 'you have yourself.'

Suddenly things felt clearer, the more I tuned onto the sensible part of my mind the more I felt my previously bombarding sentiments arranging, 'Weren't you always about being alone and independent. What now?'

'But.' My heart interrupted once again, not willing to let go.

'Get up! Lanette Anderson. You have to get up for yourself.'

"I have no one here!" I snapped out loud. I truly was going mad, arguing with myself and all that. Taking a calming breath I closed my eyes once more and as if the sane part of me was being sarcastic I remembered the words.

 _"_ _I hope you know that I am always going to be here if you come back."_ Raforta's motherly expression as she held me in that parting hug.

 _"That might just be the last thing that I want."_ Eohere's soft expression as he uttered those words.

 _"I hope that a day comes when you trust someone here enough to tell them the truth about your past. No matter how hard trust seems to you this day."_ Brilon's words that I knew truly meant that he would be there to trust me if I chose it.

 _"You have that quality m'lady, the one that inspires confidence and loyalty without a word."_ Naimla's trusting words despite her closed personality.

It was not just the words that made me forget, for a small moment, the grief that was eating at me, but those expressions.

Raforta's warmth. Butterbur's kindness. Eohere's selflessness. Lord Dervorin's trust. Lady Cathiel's reliance. Lady Brinielel's help. Anariel's concern. Bnaria's support. Brilon's help. Naimla's unsaid thanks. Even Calyniel's friendship.

I had done nothing to deserve any of it but I still had it. Their faith, compassion and consolation at every turn of my way.

 _Why did they?_ Then I heard that voice again. The previous strong conviction melted into a deep sincerity,

'Because in the end, despite all differences and divergence, _they are still human._ '

'So get up Lanette.' That voice, who in reality was I myself, said,

'Get up and show this world that yes a woman can carve out a legacy of her own. A woman can live by herself, fend for herself, live _for_ herself. Get up because you do not want to end like this.'

Then I did. I struggled to my feet, overcame the weakness and walked to the window. With a sharp tug, the curtain recoiled, giving view to the soft light of dawn filtering across the scenery.

I stared at the serene environment. The storm inside of me raging more and more until I released a tortured gasp.

Selfish? I wasn't enough to destroy numerous lives to live one. But for me, now, it was important more than ever to stand on my own two feet.

I will carve a life in a world I wasn't supposed to be in. What brought me here was fate but what made me move was my own will. And now, I will latch onto that one little piece of string to navigate through this ocean of doubt.

Why? There was only one simple answer. Because I wanted to _live_. In the purest sense of that word. I wanted to live, to the fullest. To be one day old and weak, lying on a bed and to look back with a soft smile at a life well lived. Not a life left abandoned.

So, as I stood gazing at the sun rising above the clouds, I wiped the tear escaping my eye. For the life I had cried two years over, there won't be any more of those, _Not now not ever._

 ** _To be continued..._**

* * *

 ** _A/N:_** _Even though it might seem that there was no real progress in this chapter but in my mind, it is extremely important to make Lanette move on. Because I consider that there won't be any real use of her talents if half of the time she will be crying over something unattainable. If that makes any sense._

 _ ******I want to change the SUMMARY of the story as it is taking a different turn than the one I had written in those 300 or so words. If anyone has any IDEAS please contact me. I suck at those summaries. It'll be of great help and I'll credit the person :)******_

 ** _The next chapter won't be until the mid to end of JUNE. My finals are fast approaching and it is extremely important for me to focus on them. There won't be any nice chapters if I wrote with all the tension I have right now. I hope you all understand. Till then, Ciao bella and of course bello!_**


	21. (PART-I)Chapter 20: End of the Beginning

**A/N:** Thank you so much, guys, for sticking around although it has been a while since I have updated a chapter. This one was written in series as I am still dealing with a shot of writer's block and am not sure how it turned out. But still, I hope you guys enjoy it. _I'd love to hear from you so leave a review._

 _ **JJAndrews:** Thank you so much for the review. That was a really deep way of putting it tho, Glad you enjoyed it. Hope you love this chapter too._

 _ **Ncori:** Your review really warmed up my heart. I had never thought that this story of mine will be liked so much by someone and hearing your views on it was really, really sweet! Hope you like this chapter too :)_

 _ **ZentangledFox15:** Thank you so much for such a detailed review! It really put a huge smile on my face. Thank you again! and hope you enjoy this chapter too:)_

 _ **DrZimmerman:** Thank you so much! Hope you enjoy this chapter too :)_

 ** _HOPE YOU ALL ENJOY! R &R._**

* * *

 **Chapter 20: The end of the Beginning.**

A raven flew along the horizon, swaying against the mellow breeze of Rivendell as the first light of the day filtered across the dale. The warm glow of sun imparted a placid shine to the scenery, its radiance pleasant against the sweltering heat of the outside world. Inhaling another sharp breath, I willed myself to move. I turned on my heel and the sudden movement made the room swirl in an array of ambiguous colours. I remembered with sudden clarity my effort to starve myself and knew that I had to eat something. I grasped the panel of the window, leaning my back and closing my eyes in an effort to calm down this sensation. After another ragged breath, I stood straight.

Looking around the room my eyes fell on the last of the clean clothes I had and with a reminder to wash the dirty pair I was wearing currently and the one I had changed out of a few days ago, I grabbed this one. The lock of the door opened with a sharp click and I winced at the creak of the door, suddenly wanting to isolate myself again. I shook my head at the chaos of my own thoughts and ignoring the grumbling of the stomach started to walk to the bath. I closed the door after me, ensuring a lock before opening the tap. The slightly warm water felt pleasing to the cold and sweaty touch of my palm and I sighed in pleasure before stripping bare and letting the water run over me. The washing away of the grime felt heavenly but the weakness in my limbs reminded me no to stay too long. Giving up on soaking in the bath I settled for that sort of shower and came out soon to dry and dress. I folded my clothes and looked around to find a basket having my previous ones and threw them in there making a mental note to come and take them just as I eat something.

I padded across the large bathroom and opened the door. The simple movements seemed to be too much and the made my head spin and my limbs tremble. I leaned on the closed door for a moment to regain my strength, no matter how little there was to retrieve. I pushed myself from the door and walked down towards my room. The mirror at the junction of the hallways made me stop abruptly. It took me a moment to fathom that the person staring back at me was actually me myself. My hair was unkempt from not brushing in so long and they hung in a wet tangled mess on my back, a few stray strands escaping to frame my pale face. My eyes were red, puffy and swollen, there were circles beneath them from the lack of nutrition. I was thinner than before, the defeated set of my shoulders causing a lump in my throat. The brown orbs stared back at me and with a ragged breath, I took in the hollowness in my gaze.

In a moment of impulse, I pressed my hands at my cheeks, reminding myself of the promise I had made not even an hour ago. A promise to live. And thus I felt the lump melting away as I saw a strange sort of conviction burning beneath the ocean of distress. That single string of fire burning away in those brown orbs and I felt my shoulders straighten. I will mask all that insecurity behind that strong set of my jaw and the masked expression if only to give hope to myself.

In a sudden attack of weakness, I saw the world go black and I shut my eyes putting my hands on my knees. My heartbeat sped up and I took one too many breaths to calm myself down. It was not the time to contemplate, first I had to survive. I leaned across the wall and pressing my side to it started walking slowly down the hallway. Just one more turn and I will be in my room. My steps were irregular and jerky and my hand trembled even though they were pressed against the wall for support. I felt another round of blackness as I turned the corner and not feeling the strength to take one more step, I slid down to the floor.

My ragged gasps were not enough to mask the sound of disbelief I heard and my eyes flew open. I registered the face of Calyniel as it loomed in front of me. She made me stand to lean on her for support and guided me down my room to the coffee table. With no little sense of gratitude, I saw the tray of food along with a steaming mug of what seemed to be coffee. Sparing another glance at her worried expression, I began to eat. My hands worked with fervour at the meal in front of me and during my spree, I somehow registered the sigh of relief emitting from the person before me. Had I looked up I would have caught the smile breaking across her worried features but I was too busy devouring what was in front of me to notice. Although my stomach lurched at the sudden assault I felt my vision clearing of the blackness and I registered my surrounding more acutely, finally feeling my senses renewed as I finished with the food.

I chanced a look at Calyniel. The pleasant smile on her face masked the worry reflected from her eyes. I could see the alertness in her stance and the hand that twitched on the table as if she was wondering when I will finally faint. The worry, care and support that I had procured till now was the reality, a fact that filled me with sudden warmth. I had already set up my mind and I was going to fulfil that determination.

I placed one pale hand over hers, shaking her from her slight stupor. A question filtered through her eyes but she remained quiet. I appreciated the sense she had of the situation and gave a small smile.

"It'll be alright," my voice was soft, as if moulding itself with the serenity of my surroundings, "I'll be alright."

Now I only had to realise the conviction in my voice into substantiality.

* * *

Once. Twice. The stone skipped on the water three times before befalling poor fate. Angling down to pick another one, I slumped on the boulder and shifted my wrist. It made a record of five skips before sinking to the bottom. Uttering a dismayed sigh I fell on my back. Not a good idea while sitting on the boulder, for now, I was in a 90-degree position, with my legs raised to the sky. My locks stuck to the cool dampness of the grass, their mangled ends prickling the exposed skin of the neck. I raised one hand, sighing softly as the fingers treading through them released some stiffness. The sky above me was clear, too clear for my tastes, not even a speck of white cloud could be seen. The depth drawing and sucking my mind into its soothing quiet. I usually was not a fan of the chirpiness of the morning air, but in the subdue calm of Rivendell, I simply couldn't mind such natural luxuries. These unknown pleasures masking my worries and plans until for a moment I could pretend to be alone in the world with just my surroundings as my companion.

The pleasures were undeniable- Or not. I thought, sitting abruptly as a bird went down its business near my face, missing by just a few inches. "Fuck!" I groaned jerking abruptly and pushing my legs to the side to maintain my balance.

A soft laugh erupted from behind me and my head turned so fast that I had to groan as a wave of pain hit my neck.

"Your agility would be quite useless if you had to groan at your stiff muscles every time you made a move." Drawled a familiar voice, laced with amusement and underlying disapproval.

I fixed him with my own stare. "So can we get to the fact that this is the third time you've stalked me."

I was awarded by a charming curve of his lips before he sat on the boulder. I leaned back on my hands to look at him.

"It could hardly be called stalking," his voice was soft, complementing his serene surroundings. He pondered a few moments before fixing me with his amused orbs. "though if it were then maybe twice not thrice, Miss." The last word drawled out as if in mocking and I gaped at his change in moods. How could he be an elf and still so different from the sheer kindness of elves with his defiant attitude? His eyebrow arched finely as he struggled with his smirk. "After meeting with Lord Elladan I'm surprised at your reaction to me." Looking at him I feigned innocence, "Why! Lord Elladan is quite the gentleman- I mean gentle-elf." His mouth twitched and for a moment he looked as if thinking of another retort before he leaned forward and clasped his knees.

"Mockery hardly becomes you, Lanette."

"Arrogance hardy becomes you, melon nin" I parroted, marvelling at the twitch in his brow at my high pitched tone.

I fell on my back, taking care to steer clear of the bird droppings. With both of my pants down at the laundromat, I could hardly change before tomorrow and I didn't particularly relish the idea of a huge stain on my back for a whole day.

The silence was companionable, despite the fact that this was the third time I had ever met him. Looking back at his figure, now shifted towards the waterfall, I felt the gratification that one can only feel in the company of an old friend. How he did that, was beyond me.

We sat in that silence for a while. I closed my eyes, admiring the soft caress of the wind across my skin. The summer in Rivendell was nothing short of a mild breezy spring, with the variety of vegetation growing along the ground and the breathtaking flora blooming in abundance, their fragrance calming on the nerves. What I remembered of Bree was nothing short of torture. With all the moisture, drinking and weed, the bar was impossible to stand in. The sweaty, wet dresses clinging to the skin flashed across my mind and I wrinkled my nose feeling serene as my loose shirt allowed the flow of the wind across the skin.

Looking back at my companion, I coked my head to the side.

"How exactly did you find me, Filvendor?" my voice was soft, wanting to converse but too lazy to delve deeper. A look flashed through his eyes, too quick for me to decipher. His gaze turned sly as he looked down at my sprawled figure.

"There are not many in the solemn peace of Imladris that cause a commotion when they walk." I nearly huffed at the tease in his voice. The melodic tone of his voice was tilted in amusement and I had learned from just one meeting with him two days ago that he was a tease jumping on his prey with practised ease. It was nice tho, seeing as he was so different from the concerned motherly looks that I had come to hate in only the week I was associated with them. I settled for shaking my head in exasperation, in hopes to convey my annoyance although there was no feeling behind it. I rolled onto my feet, brushing off the grass and stretching. I could feel his questioning look on me as I stripped off my boots and padded to the waterfall. It wasn't long before he joined me, the cool water pleasant against our feet.

"You're already aware of my name, although I don't remember enlightening you during our little ramble on the pathway." I looked at him from the corner of my eye and then shrugged. It wasn't as if no one could have told me his name.

"Calyniel was eager to say." I must've grimaced seeing as his contemplating look was on me. Recently the names of my well-wishers left a bitter taste in my mouth. He seemed to understand, as is eyes flickered in sympathy. I looked at him sharply and he realised my silent plea as the sympathy was quickly blacked out. I was glad that he chose not to mention my feelings. "How is it?" he inquired, more about the general coping with the people rather than the emotions. I opened my mouth to reply but the words felt closed in my throat, a similar sinking sensation deep in my chest. I ran my tongue across my dry lips,

"It's... fine." he would be a fool to not pick up the hesitation in my voice. His gaze flickered towards mine but he remained silent. A warm breeze filtered across and I closed my eyes to feel it as Ipondered over the truth.

"Stuffy, I'll say.", after a while, knowing for a fact that he was wanted me to speak my mind. It was the same with him last time, with his friendly and teasing demeanour he kept up a front while coaxing me to tell him the details. And for that I was thankful. Immensely, to have someone to share with. "Everyone I come across is on their guard. Those looks, murmurs, apologies..." I trailed off struggling to find the right words. I sighed and grabbed a stone to skip across the turbulent water. It sank horribly.

"It feels as if they think I'll..." I murmured, my gaze fixed on the water. What did it feel like? I wondered. The first time Calyniel had greeted me with the worried gaze and motherly affection it was appreciated. That day I could not even walk properly, much less converse. It was a good feeling to have the caring presence around. The first time I had a walk through Rivendell, I had felt no less than a clown show, with all those looks directed at me. By the third day, I had been left shell-shocked when Calyniel had refused to leave me with my breakfast even though she was clearly needed elsewhere. It wasn't her insistence itself that was shocking it was the fact that her gaze had flickered briefly to the knife in my hands and then to my wrists. The look was fleeting, easily overlooked if one was not staring at her. I had been livid at her train of thought but had tried to explain the best to her that I wanted to _Live_ , not to die by my own hands. Maybe because of the rage in my tone or the determined set of my shoulders I had seen a brief flicker of acceptance. I was given my space but more often than not I found some elf or elleth conveniently present when I was walking somewhere alone. It also made me wonder if Lord Elrond had found something in the prophecy to make me worthy of this attention. I had mentioned this to Filvendor once and he had just shrugged his shoulders, "You are the wielder of Agnaria, one of the greatest craftsmanship of all ages. That is enough to warrant his curiosity. Don't you think?" he had said and I had agreed wholeheartedly still wondering at the amicability of the situation.

"Break on a moment's notice?" his voice pulled me out of my reverie. It took me a moment to realise that he was completing my previous sentence.

"Yes!", I said, my voice rising in frustration, "As if.. as if I'm really fragile and depressed."

"They're not wrong Lanette." I turned towards him sharply. He was looking towards the front, away from me.

"You do look the part."

"I'm not-" Sighing he fixed me with his stare, the blue of his orbs narrowed in contemplation.

"I know that you're not. That you're trudging forward despite the many difficulties but you look the part." The tone of his sentence suggested a big 'but' that he hadn't expressed and yet I could feel.

"Your body is weak, still nourishing itself on the lost nutrients. Not just during those three days but even due to you minimal diet in the previous months." For a moment I thought about remaining quiet, agreeing with the truth in his words. My diet had been imbalanced for so long and recently I have been feeling signs of growing weakness but the way things were currently going it wouldn't be long before I would be healed.

"It's nothing to be worried about, tho." my tone was nothing short of a whisper as I sighed, my shoulders slouching in defeat.

"That is not what worries us, Lanette." It made me perk up and I looked at his figure from the corner of my eye,

"It's your spirit, your aura of life that has weakened during the course of the past week. The loss and grief of such magnitude is not something healed so easily." That had hit home. I shifted uncomfortably, turning my face to look at the top of the hill as the water gushed down from it. Just because I was too passive these days did not mean I wasn't trying. Just that this dull ache in my chest didn't seem to be settling anytime soon, no matter how many times I would tell myself to move on. I had made a promise with myself and I had no intention to go back on it. Although I knew that not dealing with anything was just another way of giving up, I couldn't bring myself to take the first trudge into this new life. Basically, because I did not know what that step was supposed to be.

Filvendon looked at my scrunched face and I found the weight of a hand on my shoulder. Looking up I saw a genuine smile extended on his face. One that softened his features and crinkled his eyes. One that comforted me in a way I wasn't sure possible.

"It'll take time but one day it'll be fine. They'll realise it soon." Coming from his mouth, I knew it was bound to be true. Still, I shrugged, getting up and drying my feet.

"I feel at a loss," I said, later as we were walking back towards the valley. He stayed quiet turning his head towards me, an indication that he was listening.

"A loss of what to do. Where to start? How to cope?" I was stating my earlier confusion. It was less of confusion and more of a predicament as to what I was supposed to do. I had once heard that every little thing starts because one takes a step forward towards it. nothing comes by itself. It is that one step that triggers the chain of reactions we call life. But right now, in this peaceful valley by the name of Imladris I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do. What does the prophecy say? Why do I have Agnaria, when I know not how to wield it properly? Why was I going round and round but most importantly what was I supposed to do so that all the things will be clear as day?

And now while walking with the one person I had come to trust the most in such a short span, the one I could sometimes see the reflections of me in, I hoped for answers. The answers that had once spurred me to move from Bree, go around the world and return to this magical bearing of elves. Those were the ones I needed, perhaps, to do what I was supposed to do.

"I feel like I must make the first move. Take an initial leap to make it all work out but I'm not sure what it is that I'm supposed to do."

Filvendor contemplated my words. His eyes were far and unfocused. I slowed down my walk to match his steps as he seemed to be slowing down himself.

"Do you believe in fate, Lanette?" The question was so unexpected but so inevitable that it threw me for a loop. Unconsciously, my steps slowed before coming to and halt as I stared at this back. He didn't seem to be turning around any time now. Fate, I thought, chewing at my lower lip. I had thought about it a little since I had a lot of time these days for contemplating life and choices. I had thought perhaps, this all that is happening in life, maybe it could be called fate. I had thought about it without reaching a probable conclusion because at that moment I wasn't exactly sure what was it. Something that governed our life or something that shaped our life according to our decisions? Something that spurred us to act or something that was spurred by us into action? Just what was it? The Fate that played the key role in our existence?

He was still waiting for an answer as I looked up. Somehow beneath the general grace of his figure, I could see the shoulders tense in anticipation. I chewed on my lip as I thought of the answer, my mind ending in a blank. Such a small question but still enough to render one speechless.

"I should," I started, my voice dropped in hesitation. "I mean because of all the prophecies and the described fate and such, but I sometimes struggle with the concept."

He remained quiet for a moment as if wondering what to say. I took two steps, stopping by his side.

"I believe that it shall be the torch to guide you," he said, a playful smile playing by his lips contrasting with the centuries of knowledge in his now solemn eyes. He looked forward again and I rushed to catch up with his sudden pace. We walked in silence until we reached my quarters. His words played in my mind and I wondered what he meant by it. I turned to thank him for his company when he said,

"Fate is not merely sitting around and waiting for your life to play out. It is the courage and will to do what you may, to your full capacity and then wait for your work to bear fruit." I raised a brow at his explanation. Every time I met with this elf, I was left with more things to ponder about,

"To follow down the path carved by your own heart, that is what shall be the end to your worries."

"Do what I wanna do? huh." I murmured, the words calming me more than I thought. Were all my worries just a matter of over-thinking? Was I just to be myself and do what I want to do? Was it always this easy?

"It'll all work out in the end," I said. A small quirk of my lips followed. His eyes narrowed in question.

"Do you believe that?" and just like that the first smile in a week was dropped. I lowered my eyes to the floor, trailing the crack on the marble.

"I'm still trying to." and I truly felt that I was.

* * *

I turned around the corner only to come to another long winding hallway. Huffing I stomped down the path, my steps echoing loudly in my wake. According to Calyniel, the laundromat was somewhere along the lower level of the area. Now if only I could come across a staircase or something, I thought only to bristle in exasperation. It wouldn't take a genius to realise that I was lost in the great maze of halls.

I turned around another corner and another and then another until I reached a crossway. Turning right I reached a beautiful archway leading to a terrace. The balcony was unlike those I have seen, with it's dome ceiling raising above and the marbled floor carved beautifully making a splendid piece of art. There was a large round table in the middle with a chair pushed back and variety of scrolls scattered about. Feeling as if I was intrusing I traced back my steps.

I was about to leave when a mop of curly brown hair peeked from behind the table, their back towards me and hunched over their work. I thought to leave without disturbance but something about their stature caught my eye. That something, noticeably, being their height. I took a step around the table only to stop midway as they perked up at the sound of my steps. I shoved down the guilty feeling of having to disturb the work they seemed so engrossed in and swallowed thickly as two pairs of deep brown eyes settled over me peeking from behind glasses on an old wrinkled face.

"Um." I started applauding myself on the eloquence, "I'm sorry to intrude but do you know where the laundromat is?" The furrow of the brow and the faraway look of thought was wiped out as a warm smile settled on the face. The wrinkles intensified to show a lifetime of good humour.

"Oh! It's right around the corner, down a staircase, then a left, a right, another staircase and a little walk across the courtyard." I blinked once and then twice before finally making out a strained smile. What was that right and left and two right down the yard?

"...I see." I said nodding in thanks, "Thank you very much."

Turning to leave I paused near the door, a faint blush creeping up my neck. Actually I hadn't gotten anything and still, something about this...person reminded me of grandparents turning their disapproving gaze from above their glasses to stare at children for being fools. I twisted on my ankle and wrung my hands at front. A shy smile caught up to my face.

"Actually, could you repeat that?" His eyes twinkled in amusement as if he had been expecting such a reply. Then he waved his hand, small and pudgy and sauntered over to the large desk.

"Don't mind, child, it will be of no use."

"I'm sorry?" I asked, confused by his turn of words.

"The master walked by a few minutes before, I highly doubt that you shall find it open." Oh. Dang.

I had really wanted to take a nice long soaking bath with the lavender oil Calyniel had spared for me today.

"I-" I hesitated, chewing on my lip.

"Is master the only person who runs the laundromat. I mean no aides?" Logically there must be a few aides at least. Rivendell was by no means a small valley and even if there was another laundromat running on the far eastern side, still only one elf running for half the valley was sort of unbelievable.

"No, child, no!" the man replied, sifting through the papers and suddenly coming to halt as he surveyed something from the top of his glasses, then he turned towards me, a pleasant smile still warming his face, "It is Thursday. They only return clothes today. I hear master's son was called for something by the Lord." and then as if looking for any witness he continued in a whisper, "Seems quite scandalous actually." before swatting his arm and laughing it off, leaving me a bit speechless.

He padded over to the other side, looking at the book he was working on and turned after a moment, as I shifted on my feet waiting for his sentence to be completed.

"So he shall be the only person there," he said as if suddenly realising my presence.

"I see..." I murmured, my plans for the nice bath squashed quite horribly. With nothing to do the next few hours until the lunch with Filvendor, I felt quite lost. Maybe I should visit the waterfall, although I had been spending a whole lot of time lying there...

"Um, anyways thanks for the time Mr..." I trailed off waiting for his cue.

"Bilbo. Bilbo Baggins." recognition passed through my brain and I smiled at him. So this was the famous hobbit of Rivendell.

"Mr Baggins," I said politely inclining my head. He waved off the formality, his gaze fixed on something over the paper and by now I was itching to peek over. I saw his eyes shift towards mine briefly,

"No, no, Just call be Bilbo." and then he went to the staring contest. I took two discreet steps to the left so I would be able to watch the object of his scrutiny if I tiptoed a bit.

"As you wish ." I murmured, coking my head to the side as I made out the drawing of Minas Tirith.

"And you must be Lady Lanette," he replied, turning his head sideways towards mine. I smiled politely,

"Yes, that's me. Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too, child!" he laughed, the sound jovial against the tranquillity of the surroundings.

"Is that Gondor?" I said, a moment later as I wondered whether I should take my leave and how to do it without sounding rude. His eyes snapped towards mine and this time I was under the scrutiny of his gaze as if he was wondering why I haven't left yet. I was wondering that myself, a faint colour rising in my cheeks in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, I was just wondering if you've been there." I finished lamely with a slight hand gesture that ended with my hand hanging limply.

"I haven't," he replied a moment later, a slight longing buried in his voice. Longing to see the parts of the world which can only be obtained by an adventurous soul. I would know, I thought, because half of my family had the same passion. "Although a man on my journey had been the native. I find it hard to write about cultures I have not seen personally." A writer? That was a bit new but seeing as his speech was so nice and comforting maybe it wasn't so much of a shock. I smiled at the frown on his face,

"Oh. There is nothing much. I assure you." I said my tone light as my eyes took in the detailed sketch of Minas Tirith, its grand structure rising magnificently and captured in a beautiful detail.

"Have you been to Gondor?" I shifted my gaze back to my companion and nodded in confirmation. Quite the busy days those have been. Full of work, responsibilities, cares and...hope. My eyes closed for a fraction on the last word. The words that had previously ignited a fire now cold and hollow.

"I stayed there for a few months before coming to Rivendell," I confirmed and stepped forward as he motioned me towards the table. His eyes were now filled with a light of curiosity,

"Oh, my! What an adventure you must've had!"

I nearly laughed at the childlike wonder that found its way in the deep quiver of his voice.

"It was pretty decent." He turned his gaze towards me and stared up with his short stature,

"Say, child, can you spare me a bit of your time?" It was a bit sudden and I looked at him in astonishment. He smiled the same warm smile that made me relax as easily as being in the company of old friends.

"It's awfully boring here sometimes but a bit of fresh company is bound to liven up the things."

I shifted my eyes to the large volume he was writing. I was admittedly curious which was surely reflected by my stance but seeing as I had initially encroached upon his work I smiled down at him, in what I hoped was politeness,

"I don't want to intrude." He waved off that remark without another thought as he moved around turning the papers and clearing the table before dragging the chair towards the opposite ends and waving off my tries to help.

"No, no child. It's a personal request." and then he turned towards me as if remembering something just yet.

"And you haven't had your second breakfast yet, right?"

"My what?" I blinked at him.

"Oh, you poor soul. Haven't yet been introduced to the joy of life. Let me ask the chef. Those macarons..." and he went out of the door, down the hallway all the while muttering to himself and leaving me gobsmacked in the balcony.

* * *

"You didn't!" I gasped, my hand flying to my mouth to prevent crumbs from flying out as I listened to Bilbo's tale. To his credit, he had returned a few minutes later with a large tray filled with bakery goodness and a fresh pot of tea. It had been albeit four hours previously and the bakeries were now cold but no less delicious. My hand played with the many cookies on my plate, which Bilbo had insisted on filling every half an hour with a comment about my pale expression and tired bags. And seeing his enthusiasm I hadn't had the heart to tell him about the sugar rush I was probably on right now.

Instead, I listened to the tale of his masquerades and adventures with the company of Thorin Oakenshield, a character I would've loved to meet had he been alive yet.

Bilbo had initially had me recount my tale of Gondor, in hopes to find the true inspiration for his writing. I hoped that I was helpful as I saw his eyes twinkle merrily as I told him of the festival I had attended giving me his rapt attention. One thing had led to another and this is how I found myself hours later, listening in amusement to his tale of the (failed) conversation with the dragon, which ended with a far off look of loss that made me bow my head for I knew that look all too well. He snapped out of it as I argued about the talking powers of a dragon his voice insisting but still light and jovial,

"I certainly did child! A wholesome and cruel creature it was with fangs sharp enough to cut glass and scales acute enough to wound with a whip."

I laughed once more as he recounted his tale of some troublesome children back home, as he called them and I told him of my own escapades back home although they were not as dangerous or as adventurous as his, they still served to our amusement and I realised right there that speaking with Bilbo about home had reduced the pain to a dull ache of memories, pleasant and sad but not fatal.

We sat in companionable silence for a while as I sipped on my cold tea, trying not to gag at the ruined flavour.

"You're different lass," Bilbo said a moment later as I got up, brushing off the crumbs, and raised an eyebrow at the sudden observation which I supposed couldn't be helped when you speak to an only human in the land of elves and only modern woman at that I thought, my lips curling into a smirk, "a nice company to be had about oneself." he continued in a pleased and welcoming voice. I gave him my own smile before pushing the chair back into the table.

"I should leave now. Have already taken up too much of your time." I said remembering the lunch with Filvendor, hoping that I wasn't late yet.

"That is what I should say! I had an awfully pleasant time in your company."

"Me too," I replied, my voice loading with genuine pleasure for truly his company had lightened my mood that had been sour for too long now.

"Hopefully I'll get to see more of you around, aye lass?" he asked his eyes crinkling in question and I gave an enthusiastic nod.

"Hopefully!" I replied twirling on my feet to give him a wave before disappearing down the corridor with a pleasant warmth in my chest and a sweet taste in my mouth.

* * *

"Do you wish to accompany me?" Filvendor, currently looking through the large tomb of elvish mumbled, his concentration set on the book in front of him. I looked up from the delicious pastry I was currently picking apart at his concentrated look. His furrowed brow and intense complementation made me start. I couldn't be imagining voices now could I be? With perfect sleep, healthy meals and morning yoga (the habit I had picked up after roasting my mind over contemplation of my situation had helped soothe my mind, thus the newly found habit.)

"Where?" I said, more to be cautious than meaning the question. His lips curved into a smirk quickly replaced with stoicism as he leaned forward on his designated seat.

"For a little masquerade around the Eastern plateaus, maybe even venturing into Bree." My head snapped towards his in a moment of incredulity as the weight of his words settled over me. I couldn't help the rush of inexplicable joy that I felt, smiling a toothy grin in his direction.

"Bree? Are you serious?" I was rewarded only with a nod from him. I felt jittery suddenly having an urge to get to my feet. It was no secret that my life in Bree, those first few months of my arrival had been the most peaceful of all the months I had spent here. Looking back to those light and carefree nights I really wanted to visit even if only to taste Raforta's cooking and Butterbur's lame jokes again. Still, there weren't many elves venturing into Bree and I stopped to stare at Filvendor, causing a raised eyebrow out of him.

"But!" I asked, my voice laced with incredulity, "But why?" I really hoped that the answer was favourable to me and that it won't cause some unexpected trouble-

"Lord Elladan sends scouts about the area, ever so often-" Well, don't mind then, I thought as I heard his words. My last encounter with him was nothing less than a spat, a spat over my own abilities that had left me staggered. He was a jerk, that's for sure but there was a sense of authority and leadership in his stance that spoke of his title and something buried in his eyes that could make one's skin crawl in fear, even if his voice was carefully bordered on tranquil and passivity of the elvish race. I've come across a few elves here in Rivendell but rather than the monotonous features there had been some emotions carefully hidden but still sprayed beneath the surface but with Lord, Elladan...his eyes were a little too cold and commanding. Too unfriendly for my liking and I was sure that I had hit off with him on the wrong foot. Me getting tangled up in a mess was sure to act in my disfavour.

"If it's for scouting and Lord Elladan put you up to it then asking me to come along isn't the best idea you've come across." His eyebrow twitched as I cut off his sentence monotony and I hastily apologised.

"Okay, sorry. You were saying."

He took a deep breath which to my chagrin was bordering dangerously on an impatient sigh.

"I've got some... business there. It is pretty harmless for I'm not ordered to scout otherwise I wouldn't have considered such an option." His slight hesitation with the word business didn't go unnoticed but I chose to not voice my concern as I stared towards him from the corner of my eye. If he thinks it's harmless then... but one can never know with him and business, really?

"Really." I had voiced out my thought, I realised as my own voice rang in my ears.

"Really." he parroted, a noticeably annoying habit he had picked up in the last few days.

"I-" I started a thousand thoughts running through my mind but I squashed them as an oversight. These days I was just overthinking too much, maybe something spontaneous was what I needed? It was decided "I would love to!"

"Thank you so much Filvendor!" I said turning towards him, letting my eyes speak for my honesty. He looked away, the subduction on his face as he tried to keep the smile off his face which was betrayed by the slight curve of his lips.

"I expect you to be ready by dawn, it's better to leave at the first light," he replied, going back to the book in his hand.

"You got it," I replied with enough enthusiasm to make him twitch. "Tho, I should think of a gift for Raforta, at least."

"Spice" replied Filvendor, "Take a bag of spice," he said and ducked just as a quill flew towards his face for his ridiculous suggestion.

* * *

Ok maybe not so ridiculous, I thought as I saw him take out two horses from the stable because in that little time and with limited (read: no) money my options were also limited but there was an elf coming with me so maybe her quenching her curiosity would be the gift enough. I smirked lightly, ducking my head behind the horse to hide it before I got up, stumbling and fumbling and pretending to ignore the snort from behind me.

We started on our journey at a fast pace which was reduced to an unseemly trod just as we went out of the vicinity of Rivendell. I shifted on my seat in impatience casting yet another glance at the serene expression of Filvendor. Deciding that we've had enough I turned towards him, the reigns of the horse grasped lightly in my left hand.

"Shouldn't we pick up the pace?" I asked my voice bordering on a snap. It was a due reaction from trotting for the past hour when we could've already travelled about thrice the distance.

"I quite like the serenity of our natural environment." he said turning towards me and his expression similar to a 'don't you agree?'. Which I did not agree with the still and hot wind beating at my face and the shirt clinging to my body with the profusion of sweat.

"No, I-" I started to reply but stopped as he came to a halt. His shoulders tensed and there was an alertness to his stance that made my skin crawl. With my eyes glued to his figure I barely made out his shout to lean left as the first orc came into my line of vision, making my stomach drop like a stone, heavy and uncomfortable in my gut.

The arrow whizzed past my ear, missing its target by mere inches as it curved into an arch and embedded the ground behind me. Filvendor had jumped into action before I could even formulate a coherent thought. His arm reached for a dagger and with a swift flick, the weapon was thrown. The next thing I saw was the corpse of the archer(the only one in their pack, as far as I could see) falling with a thud. He steered his horse towards the left. Seeing the pack moving towards him he landed on his feet before drawing his sword. My stallion neighed uncontrollably, stomping its feet in the face of the new threat. I got off before I could be thrown on the ground. I cursed as I drew the long knife, its weight feeling foreign in my hands. I had no idea how to use the weapon that could be my lifeline. It was short and curved suitable for close combat and looking at the bulky figures engaged in battle I was sure I wanted to avoid just that. My gaze sought out Filvendor who moved with the grace that could only be associated with the elvish blood running in his veins. His movements were agile and swift, slashing down his opponents with a cold commandment, barely blinking a lash. From the corner of my eye, I saw two others approaching me. I shifted the weight on my feet, took off the bag and moved away from the commotion. Desperately I rummaged into it, hands grasping at the bag of exotic spices meant for Raforta, although I was sure that after this encounter our path will be retraced. The guards had to be informed. Orcs this close to Rivendell was surely a bad news.

I threw the bag on the ground, the string of the spice pouch lose beneath my fingers and grasped the knife parallel across my arm. The orcs fastened their steps lunging for my front. I moved to the left dodging the heavy attack of the first. Twirling a bit and emerging from behind I slashed my knife at the second's arm just as the other one turned around. The cut wasn't deep but it was enough to cause hesitation on his part. The first orc, took that moment to lunge with his sword and I flicked the string of the pouch. The pouch opened towards its eyes and I only heard the cry of agony as I ducked to the right. Grasping the opportunity I slashed at its shin, cutting the flesh deep to the bone. I jerked the blade and stumbled on my feet, taking in the movement of the second orc from the corner of my eye. I barely ducked as it came barrelling towards me which might not have been the best option as the sword grazed my shoulder. With the adrenaline rushing through my veins and the heart-pounding painfully in the ribs, it came as an instinct to ignore the pain. Taking my chance I dug the knife in its hip and rolled to the side. The knife dragged across the flesh, cutting into the meat. Standing up behind him I raised the knife above my head and impaled his chest with all my might. The sickening smell of blood oozed out, the sticky substance seeping into my hands. I blinked twice, the moment of hesitation cut short as the first orc came forward. His left leg was immobilized, slowing down his movements enough to let me pull the knife out. The knife slipped out of my bloody hands. My mind went into an overdrive. I knew that I couldn't possibly pick up the knife. Grasping onto the straws my arms reached out grabbing the falling orc by the shoulders and twirling to the front pushed it with all my strength. The momentum of the incoming orc caused him to impale his own comrade. The sword came out of the other end of the chest and I scrambled for my own knife to take advantage of the moment of immobilization. Looking at the orc whose hands bend around the hilt to draw the sword from the right, I rushed to the left and spiked his neck. The blood gushed out making me gasp in terror as I took a step away from the falling bodies. The knife still jutted out from its neck as it fell on top of the other dead orc.

With no other immediate threat, I turned to look at Filvendor killing the last of the standing orc. Relief at his alive figure was immediate and engulfing as I stumbled towards him. His bloody sword was held limply in his hand as he bent down to retrieve a dagger, dragging it across the grass to clean off the blood. I was just a few steps away when suddenly his shoulders stiffened. The next thing I saw was the flick of his wrist as the dagger rushed towards the stumbling archer. I watched in horror, my body still in fear and blood cold in my veins as he turned only to stumble backward at the force of the arrow sticking just beneath his shoulder.

'At least it was shoulder' I thought, in a moment of relief which was quickly stashed at his stumble. Rushing to his side I grasped at his other arm, roving a critical eye over the wound. If the arrowhead was long then maybe... No, I shook my head. It had to be thin. If the arrowhead had penetrated the jugular vein then his arm would not survive by the time we reach Rivendell.

Don't strain on it.' I murmured, instructing him to hold his weight as I plucked the arrow that had missed me a few minutes ago. I nearly sighed in relief as I compared it to the length embedded in his shoulder. "We can get back to Rivendell, and I can treat you," I said, contemplating on the procedure. He whistled to call his horse, his face contorting as he stumbled forward. I knew that the pain would be unbearable but the way he was stumbling about. "Shards," he croaked, closing his eyes for a moment. "It has glass shards joined to its front." It took me a moment to digest the news. If the shards were small enough and could penetrate the bloodstream. My face paled at the realisation.

"We have to leave." my tone was becoming high with a sense of urgency. "We got here in an hour, on a normal pace. What if we race towards it?"

His face nestled into the horse's coat to stabilise himself. "He can get us there in twenty, no fifteen minutes." I furrowed my brow, not voicing the concern I was feeling. The bumps and furrows in the road could cause the arrow to penetrate deeper, the wound will be worse by the time we reach Rivendell but if I took out the arrow now, the bleeding will surely lead to his death, not counting the shards that will remain in his flesh. The arrow had missed its mark by a centimetre, a centimetre that can easily be replaced during our journey.

I shifted my gaze to his stumbling figure, "Can you get on the horse?" He didn't need to be told twice as he jumped on the horse, his previously elegant movements bumpy and shaking. I grabbed his arm to prevent him from falling and got up behind him. My arms snaked on his sides, one grabbing the reign and with the other putting my hand onto the unpenetrated part on the arrowhead. His hiss of agony was expected but my hand remained. "Sorry, but this is the chance I have to take." I murmured against his back.

"Get us home, Mellon nin. Get us home!" His voice, no more than a whisper, was laced with agony. The horse seemed to understand the desperation of its master because it ran like there was no tomorrow.

* * *

His pace sharpened and the sound of feet hitting the floor snapped all the elves into action. Their gaze flickered to his impatient stroll as they tightened their packs on horses. He could understand their unease at his anger but with the danger of orcs this close to Rivendell he wanted to be about and moving. When it came to those vile creatures there was nothing that could pacify his nerves. With an impatient click of his tongue, he turned to fix his sharp gaze onto the newest recruit approaching from the hill. "Where is he?" his voice was calm betraying the anger building up inside his bones at the tardiness of their specified healer. The recruit cast a wary glance towards him before snapping into attention. "Lord Elrond is with the healers, something about a new medicinal paste..." he trailed off at the narrowing of Lord Elladan's gaze, "They'll be here in less than ten minutes." he finished, giving a bow and placing the bag of Elndior, the healer and walked to stand beside his horse.

Lord Elladan cast a furtive glance at the small balcony that acted as their storage house his gaze snapping to the cot resting in the middle, the same cot that had seen the blood of too many of his comrades in recent times. His musings were cut short due to a yell from outside and with the agility and grace built into him from centuries he moved outside. All of his men were ready with their swords and he cast his eyes towards the small blob that was approaching, wondering for a moment at the confidence of the intruder.

This all was cut short, although, as the horse neared enough for their eyes to make out the slumped figure embraced in a pair of arms. He snapped to attention as it drew near snapping instructions and wandering with dread at the paleness of his friend. He opened his mouth to set instruction before a voice beat him to it, the distinct tone of Lady Lanette loud and clear above the ruckus as she descended from the horse covered in bruises and blood but casting a worried gaze over to Filvendor as they hurried him to the cot.

"Is there a healer here?" she asked, her hands already moving around to examine the wound as my lieutenant with his basic knowledge moved forward towards her. He drew her back expecting grief and panic from her eyes instead freezing as they saw cold command and authority as she demanded them to follow her lead, which everyone did, knowing from experience that such looks didn't lie.

It is then he wondered whether all that she had said previously while looking into his eyes with the fire of honesty and determination had been a lie and he couldn't help the sour taste that observation left in his mouth.

* * *

"Get me those!" I said, my voice bordering on a yell. The elves rushed him to the cot and I washed my hands from the water offered by an elf with enough sense to gauge the needs. Looking at the bag I was left hesitant. There was a small knife for surgeries (I hoped) but there was contained a large array of needles some even curved from the front. A scalpel, a tong and small pieces of metal string gave me a nearly perceptible sense of relief.

I turned on hearing his whimper, time was already running out. But the risk of surgery unsanitized was too much. "Alcohol," I asked, "Do you guys have alcohol?" Elladan was left speechless for a moment. "No, Lady Lanette, we do not indulge in such pleasures on-" His voice was cut off as a bottle of liquor was thrust into my face. The look on his face turned stony but I was glad that he refrained from talking probably from the rush of relief I felt. I washed my hands, dipped a clean handkerchief and handed it to the elf on my right, the same one who had been helping along. "I have the knowledge, but just basics," he said as if reading the question presented in my eyes. "Then you know what to do," I replied, my voice taking on the crisp demeanour I usually used during surgery. A self-defense mechanism to not get too involved.

"Shouldn't you wait for a professional-" Elladan started but was cut off by a simple condescending "Out!" from me. He didn't move but his mouth clamped shut, the lines of his face hardening in emotion.

Taking the scalpel and knife I positioned them on the top of the wound. "Grasp the shaft," I instructed, "pull it out at the first opening, do not let it sink." From the corner of my eye, I saw the nod before the knife cut into the flesh above the arrowhead. I pulled apart the side by the scalpel and he pulled out the arrow, smoothly enough to make me realise that it was not the first time. The curse that left his lips was unexpected and my gaze shifted to the shards glued to the top half of the arrowhead. "Is any piece out?" I asked, shifting to get the twister. "One. Maybe two I think." Instructing his to hold the opening I shifted closer to the wound, the shard of the glass lying tantalizingly over the torn flesh, just above the large vessel glinting in the newly found light. I shifted the forceps and saw the elf's hands twitching in hesitancy, reflecting my own jumbled feelings. If I pressed it down rather than taking it out, it could be bad, bad enough for us to resort to gruesome measures. The tongs reached just above the glass as a spurt of blood splashed on our faces. I cursed just barely, keeping my position undeterred. With a light hand, I squeezed the instrument and took out the shard. A relief of sigh nearly escaped me before my eye made out a smaller piece, barely visible but stuck behind the tissue nonetheless. The elf seemed to have noticed my gaze as a sharp breath escaped him. "You can't!" he said and as if the world itself agreed with him, another spurt of blood splashed over. Blood during operations was never a good sign. Blood after bleeding for nearly 20 minutes was always a bad sign. I took in a breath to calm the nerves that were nearly getting frazzled and said with a conviction and authority that contrasted the helplessness I was feeling inside, "We can!"

I shifted over to let some light in that range and took the chance to delve to take the piece. Everyone watched with bated breath or maybe it was just me with my breath struck somewhere my throat as I hooked the piece in the curved needle and willed it not to fall, thanking all my stars when it safely fell on the side plate with its counterpart.

There was no time for celebrating as his vitals were already in a disarray. "We need to stitch him up," I murmured thinking of the way to do this without suture. Was I really willing to take the chance with the thread? "Fire!" came a voice rushed from the doorway. I looked up to see another elf joining us in the room and from his stance, he must have been the healer. "Are you going to perform cauterization?"

He nodded and I bit my lip, knowing that with these limited resources it was the best way. "We only need to cauterize the small portion of tissue directly affected by the arrow, to prevent the internal bleeding, the rest can be healed with stitches," I said, moving around to let him take a look. I wasn't even going to wonder at the fire that appeared at a moment's notice and gulped as the scalpel heated over the flame. Filvendor was not exactly unconscious and there were no analgesics available to relieve his pain right now. I nearly gulped at the twitch of his fingers as the hot scalpel made contact with his skin, the loss of blood preventing a huge reaction but my profession forced me to assess over the situation with a stoicism that even I felt proud of. I cast a critical look over the thread and needle he had brought, their size and material too uncanny for my liking but now was not a time for contemplation, it was a time to trust the judgment of the healer more advanced in his time than me. With a swift thrust, the thread passed through the needle and without missing a beat I stitched up his wound, my hands calm with every suture. The whole ordeal was over before we knew it and I cast a worried hand over his wrist to check the pulse, finding it too irregular for my liking. His face was pale, even too pale for elves and his body had a certain quiver to it. "Something to fight the pain, and infection," I murmured, knowing that the healer will hear my words.

"Rest assured Lady Lanette," came his voice, soothing and melodic in the wake of my pounding heart and irregular breath. "I shall make sure he lives, you have done enough to ensure his survival." I cast a hesitant look over the pale figure but moved away dutifully as the healer came around the bed to paste up the herbs I knew nothing about. Seeing him at work I relented, it wasn't as if I knew anything about the medicine. It was time to sit back and let the professional do his duty peacefully, I had done all that I possibly could've. I was just glad rhat he was sure enough that he would live. It was all the confirmation I required right now.

I turned, only to come face to face with Lord Elladan. His face was unreadable as ever and there were serene surroundings to him that made the hair on my neck stand up, Although the same quality in the other elves left me speechless with awe, his strong personality left me speechless in fear and apprehension. He wordlessly led me outside, letting my half partner tend to the few wounds I had received. The cuts and bruises, the pain of which was previously masked by the adrenaline pumping through my veins were becoming magnified as the effect wore off.

It wasn't until the elves were bustling about and Lord Elrond had arrived to take a look, commanding the elves with ease of a practised leader that I was left alone with Lord Elladan. I stared at the flora blooming on the horizon, too tired and achy to begin a conversation.

"I see that you are not a lady of your words?" came his soft voice, cutting like steel through my musings. I turned my head towards him, my eyes roving over his features. His face was calm, serene even, betraying nothing of his emotions. "What?" I asked, not quite registering his meaning. His eyes shifted towards me, two pale orbs that were laking of the soft care of the elven race.

"You said that you were not practised in the medicinal arts." The realisation dawned on my face as our previous conversation flashed through my mind. I turned my head away, uttering a soft sigh. "I didn't lie, Lord Elladan," I started mashing up the grass under my feet, "I'm a _doctor_ ," I said, looking up into his eyes, letting my honesty be self-explanatory through my eyes, "not a healer of Middle-Earth."

He contemplated my answer with the same blank look and I almost turned away before that commanding voice spoke from behind me.

"Then Lady Lanette," said the voice of Lord Elrond, "is it not time that you became both?"

The sudden tensing of my shoulders spoke for itself. A hesitant smile found its way on my face as I turned back to face him. My mind was in an overdrive, my conversation with Filvendor replaying through. I had wanted a starting point, something to point at the start of the journey I was going to partake in and what better way to start it than the field that can become my biggest asset in survival.

Therefore, when I turned my face towards Lord Elrond, my eyes spoke for themselves as I thought, 'Not a bad idea, Lord Elrond.'

'Not a bad idea at all!'

* * *

 _ **To be continued...**_


	22. (PART-I) Chapter 21: Seasons

**A/N:** Okay so this chapter is a bit later than I usually upload but to compensate my laziness I made it the largest chapter of the whole story. It would've been larger but somehow I felt that I needed to end it right there, to hit a milestone.

One more thing to note. The italics in sentences is mostly Lanette speaking English but the italics used in her thoughts are to validate the point. I'm sure that it'll be easy to know for you all when English is being used and when words are being pressurized.

 _ **Dr Zimmerman:** Your wish will be mostly granted in the next chapter! Hope you read on and love it like always :)_

 ** _Thornbiter:_** _Reviews like yours truly bring a smile to my face. Hope you keep loving it now that it's gonna pick up pace :)_

 ** _Crazysister101:_** _Thank you so much. Your review really spurred me to finish the last of the chapter, edit and post it in the span of a single day. So thanks! Hope you enjoy it!_

 ** _Thank You to all those who have taken the time to review, favourite and follow. You guys are really awesome. Have a nice day :)_**

 ** _Hope you enjoy! R &R._**

* * *

 **Chapter 21: Seasons.**

"...which in the end led to cauterizing being the only option left suitable." I stared at the open tomb before me while running all the possible ways through my head. My frustration rose when most of the solutions ended in a blank. Till now the operations that I had thought to be the easiest ones of the bunch were not applicable in these times. There were too many factors, interlinked characters and dubious variables that brought life to the complex knowledge of modern days. I had realised too soon that surgery, while not being a new complexity to Middle Earth was still a crisis case as most of the operations required basic knowledge that we got from the machines and computers in the modern times and even after all that, if somehow, my knowledge itself provided a good closure, there was absolutely nothing to battle the blood loss except for high iron nutrition and medicines. Most of the surgeries I knew were impossible (or possible with a very low success rate) without blood transfusion and modern analgesics and antiseptics. Both of these situations were impossible with the current information and data. Things like these were really making me see how all the sciences were interconnected to form one complex interweb and I was finding it difficult to explain the physics of the machines even to myself.

It wasn't exactly my fault, I thought as I rolled open the scroll on the intricacies of cauterization. I hadn't exactly learned physics and engineering or something remotely related to those topics since high school finals and God knows how much I wished for a memory good enough to remember that much.

"How were you aware of cauterization, Lady Lanette." Lord Elrond said as I shifted my eyes towards his back. He disappeared down an aisle of books and returned a moment later with two additions, "As it is not similar in your language ." he finished fixing me with a stare.

I grinned a bit, my mind wandering to my time in the great library of Gondor where I had been too disappointed for a day and had given up the history to get a light read. Somehow that light read translated in my mind as accounts of medicine and surgery.

Lord Elrond seemed to understand the sheepish expression and a smile graced his lips as he took a seat before me. He set down the books and I twisted their covers to take a look, before nodding in approval. Just as I got up to leave something made me hesitate for a moment. Something that had been perhaps in the back of my mind since my days in Bree.

"Although Lord Elrond," I finally asked, my hands pilling up the books to be taken with me to my room, "I wonder how I learned westron so easily?"

In my defence it was quite uncanny how I was proficient in the language I knew nothing about, in a few months and now I barely had any difficulty in the area. It might just have been a simple learning as I've always found languages easy to understand but in such a short amount of time? It was ambiguous, to be honest.

For a moment I thought that he would laugh off my concern but he just straightened his posture and clasped his hands behind him.

"This is where I cannot impart my knowledge." he finally replied, "As of yet." and I gave him a small nod of thanks, wondering what he meant by that.

Walking down the hallway I moved towards the railing, smiling at the flourishing allure of Lord Elrond's lawn. I slowed down my steps to bask in the quiet but stopped as I saw Filvendor leaning nearby. He must have heard the indignant gasp escaping me as I bounded towards him, for a barely concealed look of amusement passed his face. It was fleeting, though and eluded him as my finger probed into his chest not far from his wound. "You!" I half shrieked.

"Me!" he replied, copying my halting speech as he turned his toothy grin down to stare at me and for the umpteenth time I marvelled at his above six feet height. Placing my feet back to look at him and making sure that my frown conveyed my disapproval, I grabbed his wrist to check his pulse, hoping that he wasn't just acting tough. The regular and even calming rhythm of his heart was uncalled for and I shifted my fingers to his neck, missing the way his eyes flickered at our proximity.

A moment of silence stretched as I felt his slightly abrupt beating beneath my fingertips and looked up to frown at him, disregarding our closeness and placing his safe arm on my shoulder, if he needed to walk. Perhaps the extended period of straining himself was leading to the irregularity in his breathing.

My musing was cut short as he uttered a bemused laugh before his arm wound out of my shoulder to ruffle the knot I had on top of my head and I swatted his arm away, half amused by his antics and half irate when the strands broke free to frame my face, the ones that just couldn't stick behind the ear.

"I'd walk," he said hiding his smirk at the glare I was issuing the fringe and I turned the gaze towards him.

"Are you kidding with me?" I replied, placing my hands on the hips, " The healer was kind enough to inform me that there were traces of poison in the arrow and now here you are bounding about!" I couldn't hide the tone of worry seeping into my voice as I remembered his pale slack figure from only a day before. It was to be expected that I would worry about his carefree attitude when he could've died just yesterday.

His eyes softened a fraction and as his free arm wrapped around my shoulder to give it a squeeze.

"I'm not exactly bounding about." His tone was light and somehow I couldn't appreciate his aloofness.

"You get my meaning-"

"It's fine!" His voice was high and I stared at him gobsmacked and amused because in all the time I had been here I was sure that elves couldn't raise their voices. He looked sheepish not a moment later as a passerby cast a worried gaze in incredulity and I fought to hide my smirk at the embarrassed quirk of his lips. He looked down at me as if to say that it had been the first time he had ever had such an outburst but faltered as I coked my head to the side feigning innocence. He sighed at the light dancing amusedly in my eyes and turned ruefully to the front. "I've had worse." He murmured and before I could be concerned for his tendency to end up in such situations he turned his cheeky grin down towards me. " And it was awfully boring being in bed for a whole day."

I raised a brow, in what I wanted to be elegant mocking and made an incredulous sound, promptly ruining the effect.

"Was it now? I thought a _very sweet lady_ was pampering you." I said, wagging my brows suggestively. The flustered and to an extent wary look I received made me realise that I was way before my time and I was heartened to find that the previously sharp pang of loneliness and heartache at a life lost too soon had dulled to the sweet tanginess of pleasurable memories and that observation brought a smile to my face.

Filvendor, although having the decency to look embarrassed turned towards me seriously,

"Yes. Lady Astaria was too kind." I hesitated at the polite tone wondering if I was wrongly reading the signs. I truly had believed yesterday from Astaria's possessiveness that she was his _something_. He seemed to understand my question as he shook his head and breathed out a "No. It is not like it seems." and I was surprised at the tight edges around his mouth. And then, as if that moment was a play of my mind his eyes were again jovial as they twinkled down at me.

"I think I'm used to your spontaneous personality."

"Everyone else seems a bit too polite to me now."

"Is there some dirty secret about you that I'm not privy to?" I asked a moment later as we turned left from the hallway and into the open of the valley.

"Like you have no friends out here, boy." I elaborated as I rushed to catch up with his fast pace, "You can't possibly have been a loner for what three hundred years."

"Three hundred." He murmured, lips curling into another smirk his eyes turned to me, "My Lady, I'm a few months over an aeon."

He paused to laugh as I choked after an indignant sound

"What?!"

"But you said that you were like what two hundred no- _a thousand years_." I stumbled over my words. Instinctively my eyes turned towards his to catch any semblance of being so advanced in years but nothing struck me. His face was youthful, pure and unblemished and the hardened lines of his jaw showed off his maturity. At the most, I could see that he looked to be in his late twenties or early thirties if I extend it a bit, _but an aeon?_ I was rendered speechless, "Man you're old!"

"No you're just too young Lanette," he replied, shaking his head and trying to stop the growing smirk at my disbelief.

"Come on!" I whined in reply, "I'm not young I'm nearing my thirties and we die when we're like seventy, above if we're lucky, who knows." I finished flapping my arms just to see his stride slowing down until he was just standing motionless a few steps back. The previous light was washed out and in its place was that unreadable expression that left me anxious,

"That just leaves you with forty."

I pondered over his words and the pang that I felt while wondering how it felt to him was real. Immortality was scary, I supposed. To have to see the people you love and associate with leaving one after the other, growing old and helpless with dementia while you retain your youthful power enough to see them fall. It was also exhilarating thinking about the ability to live for so long, the ability to see the rise and fall of empires, the conflicts and wars, the ever-changing customs evolving in front of your own two orbs but awfully lonely to be the one left standing while all else became buried in the lake of quicksand.

I gulped, looking back at him and the smile that graced my face felt hollow even to myself. Placing a hand on his arm I pulled him down the path,

"Hey, don't be a killjoy." I said but somehow my voice was soft lacking the rebuke I wanted to be there, "I ain't going anywhere right now. Live in the moment and _all that jazz!_ " I continued and he remained silent during our tread. The silence that was once effortless and companionable felt tangible and tense and I changed our path from his assigned rooms in the hospital to the great dining hall,

"Come on, if you're that well then lets detour to the hall I'm starving!" What I didn't expect was his hand to slip into my own and halting my descend down the courtyard. I looked from my interlocked fingers to his clenched jaw and moved a step back, casting a quizzical look at his face.

"You're wrong Lanette." I wanted to see what he meant, and the only way to tell what he meant was by looking into his eyes, now if he would just stop staring at the ivy twirling along the barrier and look down at my eye level it'll be swell.

"I've had friends centuries ago, three of them." My expression at his carefully masked one was nothing short of an 'oh!' and I realised that perhaps I had treaded into a topic that I shouldn't have. Judging by the clenching of his jaw it seemed as if he had trouble deciding what to tell me and just as I opened my mouth to tell him 'to take it easy and that he doesn't need to', he continued, his blue eyes flickering to my own dark ones and a look of loneliness and longing passed through them leaving me transfixed at the intensity of his gaze, "One of them died, two sailed in heartbreak."

"Oh" I wondered at my sudden inability to form words but as I looked up into his hooded eyes my mouth felt too dry and my mind ended in a blank. He continued, shifting on his feet and instinctively my palm squeezed his own, entangled in mine.

"I sometimes wonder if I was a bad one." he murmured,

"A bad friend I meant." He looked at our entangled fingers and at the guilt, in his eyes, I felt repentant for making him remember something that brought to him such a heartbreak.

"Whether I wronged them by not fading for them"

Looking at his rueful expression I wondered what I should do but as his eyes made contact with mine and I saw all that longing and isolation fighting with his general happiness I felt my arms circling around his sides as I pressed the side of my cheek to his chest. I felt him tense at the sudden contact but soon his own arms twisted around my waist and the chin descended on the top of my head.

"I don't know about elves much but still Filvendor," I murmured against his torso, knowing that he could hear me, "I'm pretty sure that when you love someone you want them to live, being happy and healthy."

I shifted when his arms tightened a bit and raised my head to look at his own bowed one. From such a proximity I could see the flecks of grey in the ocean of blue, "I mean when someone means so much to you, you can't see them living in such gloom." I continued, a soft smile gracing my lips, "I'm sure that is what they'll want from you too."

I broke away, still holding onto one of his arms as I dragged him forward, towards the entrance of the hall,

"Would they?"

"I hope so."

"I think that my own family and friends would too, you know." I elaborated on his indignant expression. Looking down at my hand, that was fisting at my side, I eased my fingers hoping for once that the choice that I made, to not go back, it is what they would want me to make. That it is what they would do so themselves. That if they ever got to know it, they would forgive me for it.

"It is something that helps me move forward, knowing that they would." He could perhaps make out the uncertainty in my eyes as his own guilt fell away and a genuine smile touched his eyes,

"I'm sure they would. "

I shook my head in disbelief, wondering how everything we were talking about ended with him helping me and not the other way around,

"Hey! You're not just supposed to help others. Take a leaf out of your book for your own happiness too!"

He laughed at that, as he pulled out his seat at the table I had already sat on and leaned forwards to mess my knot just as I slapped his hand away, my expression speaking 'not again!'.

"I'd rather take it out of yours, my lady," He bowed his head in mock respect.

"Flattery will get you nowhere man!" I said pushing jovially at his shoulder before getting up to get food for both of us. Had I not been that hurried to leave perhaps I would've caught the splurge of emotions through his gaze.

* * *

I placed the scrolls on the shelves and hastily made my way out, trying to ignore the exasperated look I received from the librarian at yet another late night departure but nonetheless I gave a sheepish smile as I moved out. The cool air of the night caressed across my face and I sighed trying to massage away the stiffness of my shoulders. I walked leisurely across the gardens until I reached the main hallway and hurried past the aisles because after a whole day of research my stomach was growling in protest.

Turning around the corner I stumbled into a hard chest and tottered back on my feet, nearly tripping over, had it not been for the swift hands grasping my wrists. I grasped the arm in panic and took a step back to stabilise myself. Instinctively, my eyes traced the long fingers attached to a broad masculine palm that extended to a leanly muscled arm dressed finely in regal robes and the thankful apology on my tongue died as I made out the face of Lord Elladan in the dim lighting of the hallways. I hoped that the nervous falling off my face was not obvious enough to displease him as I muttered a swift thanks over a strained smile and dashed around him down the stairs, my mind making the excuse of wanting dinner before the hall emptied and it even sounded petty to my own ears. Cursing myself in my own head I stepped down the stairs resisting a peek over my shoulder and wondering why everytime I met with him either ended with me getting frustrated or deeply flustered, the latter happening more and more often.

Since the ordeal on the way to Bree, about a week ago, I had somehow come across Lord Elladan five times (mostly inside the Lord's library) and each time I had been at a loss about what to say. The initial anger at his interruption during the operation and his accusative wording had worn off and I had realised the error of my ways. I couldn't blame him for not trusting me with the operation as I myself had promised him that I was not a healer and the criticism, later on, was also deserved because had I been in his situation and someone had lied to me on my face (although not my intention) and the had done the same thing they had proclaimed to know nothing of, I would've also been majorly pissed. There were somethings I extended my limit to and lying or deceptive information was one of them. Now thinking that I had unknowingly done the same to him, I had realised that he deserved an apology and a nice and calm explanation, which I for some reason couldn't bring myself to utter.

Looking back at the five times I had encountered him, it had perhaps not been the most ideal of situations. The first time had been in passing, through a hallway much different than this one and I had thought to apologise but I had been carrying an assortment of scrolls and books and I truly felt that my arms would break off so I had not spared him another look and passed the hallway with my head buried behind the thick volumes.

The next hadn't been much different. the only change being the putrid and soaking clothes I had adorned at the moment (the courtesy of Filvendor, though the fact that he was not better off than me, calmed the anger flaring in me a bit) and for the first time in being there, I had caused Lord Elladan to stop giving orders and turn to see who was the cause of such disruption and seeing me flapping my soaking sleeves, his expression had turned indignant before the planes of his face hardened and the characteristic cold indifference was back in place. Still, as I turned, flushing to the roots of my hair in embarrassment I swore that I saw a displeased shake of his head and I could do nothing but dunk my head in the bath cooling off the heat of embarrassment.

The third time had been while I was busy poring over the scrolls in the library. Lord Elladan walked with soundless steps and agility of trained killer but mostly he carried with himself an air of charismatic leadership which spoke itself of his presence and the same had been the case as he had walked into the room, his fingers curled around an old scroll tied in a case of gold. I had looked at him from the corner of my eye and then swiftly remembering the yesterday's encounter had glared holes into the scroll on the table willing the heat rising in my neck to not extend to my face. To my credit, he had decided to ignore me that day too, but somewhere in my mind, it felt like he was embarrassed himself to talk to me and I couldn't blame him I supposed. Had I been such a gorgeous, ethereal elf and a human had walked down my home city smelling like month old rubbish and covered in grime and mud I would also perhaps had been gobsmacked. _Perhaps_.

The fourth time was also in the library, I came in while he was reading, this time, and taking heed of the deadline Lord Elrond had given me to separate the summer blooms into their medicinal categories I had myself chose to ignore him, my guilt for a moment overtaken by my eagerness to (finally!) start about the medicine. It hadn't been until he had gotten up a few hours later and I had looked up in instinct, that my brown orbs made contact with his grey and a chill had passed through my spine but before I could open my mouth to blurt out a brisk apology, he had left, the door swinging behind him and the words burning on the bare tip of my tongue.

The fifth time had been in the mess hall, not unlike today and I had nearly bumped into him while we both had left after eating and as I had stabilised myself on the wall and had looked at his broad back vanishing down the corridor my mouth had opened to call out to him, to speak, to finally apologise but even though my chest was burning with guilt and the need to come clean, the word 'sorry' wouldn't flow past my lips and I cursed at my inability to readily apologise. Perhaps old habits did die hard and with that thought in mind I had lowkey avoided him until I could make up my mind.

Now, as I stepped down the last stair I looked over my shoulder and hoping to see empty space from where he should've vanished down the corridor. What, however, I didn't expect was him descending the stairs behind me until our eyes made contact and my name spilt from his tongue, stilling my advances of avoidance,

"Lady Lanette," he said just as he came to a stop a few feet behind me and I felt my steps faltering, not at his usually strong tone of voice but the newfound uncertainty that mingled with his speech and I couldn't help the surprise etching across my face as I turned towards him. For a moment a vague look flashed across his face which was soon suppressed into the characteristic command of his emotions and I felt the wish flickering at my heart to talk to more of _that_ Elladan.

I coked an eyebrow in question as the silence stretched between us, hoping that he spoke before the great hall really did close.

"I suspect that you, My Lady, are hurrying towards the great hall?" his voice, smooth and expressionless floated over my ears and I nodded hesitantly and a bit sheepishly as my feet fidgeted on spot. His eyes took in my impatience, apprehension and nervousness in one swift gaze before he spoke again,

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I'm afraid that it had already closed," he said and I swore, yet again, that his lips curled into a smirk at the colourful curse escaping past my lips. I turned sheepish, a pink hue grazing my nose as I muttered an apology before trying to excuse myself. I stopped however when he covered the distance between us in two large steps and stood beside me, extending an arm towards the hallway stretching before us.

"I can lead you to the kitchens, my Lady, if you wish so."

I met his expectant gaze with a hesitant smile, for a moment ignoring the grumbling ache in my stomach and considering all the odds. His invitation lacked emotion and I thought that it was just extending the courtesy towards a guest but considering him, would he really consider such niceties? I wondered and as if reading the wide array of emotions through my eyes he inclined his head, his next words infused with polite charm,

"I insist." he pressed, and I could only wonder at his soft melodic tone (the usual of the elves but for him a great leap in charisma) and at his ever-changing persona as I matched my steps to his pace.

We walked across a few hallways making a few turns along the way before winding up in an open courtyard as he pointed to a few characteristic points to remember the kitchens by and stalked up to the large wooden doors to the left side. His steps faltered and stopped a few feet from the shade and he pointed towards the doors of the kitchen, clasping his hands behind him as I looked around only to end up with my eyes drawn back to him,

"Thank you," I said, my tone taking on a soft touch that I had never really used in front of him and if he was surprised by the change in my character he didn't let on instead inclining his head and uttering a gracious 'You are always welcome'.

I fidgeted on my feet wondering if I should leave and stall my apology, yet again, or just say it right now. Considering the fact that I really wanted to explain to him in detail why I had not proclaimed myself a healer and the characteristic ache of hunger in my stomach I wondered at the timing, lost in my own world as my eyes traced the lines my boots were made in the marble.

"Lady Lanette," he said, breaking my reverie successfully and I looked up at his height, willing him to continue. For a moment he looked at a spot above my head, in line with his eyes, before his gaze came to rest on mine, the cold commandment back in them and the next words he spoke were professional, those of a leader and a warrior that one could never forget he was,

"I wish to thank you, for saving my brother in arms, Filvendor, a few days back," he said and continued in a much softer tone, "Had it not been for you, Lord knows what might've fallen upon him, had not his life been endangered, his arm surely would've been and for that you have my gratitude."

I stiffened at his formal bow, my hands raised in front of me in embarrassment,

"You don't need to, Lord Elladan!" and then calming the high tone of my voice considerably, I continued, a genuine smile touched my lips, "Filvendor is my friend, had I not been able to save his arm I would've never let him die on my watch."

Lord Elladan considered my words for a moment, his eyes boring into mine for the whole duration and I shifted on my feet wondering what he was thinking that was so carefully hidden behind his ever-present mask,

"Perhaps," he said a moment later, and for a second a string of emotions passed through his indifferent eyes and I cursed at my perceptiveness to be too slow to make sense of it.

"You do not truly understand Lady Lanette, what one's arm means to a warrior, especially one as fine as Filvendor."

I wondered at my lack of emotion at his words, knowing truly well that the old me would perhaps have been riled up at his implications but I nodded hesitantly a moment later, "Perhaps, I cannot think from the perspective of a warrior, Lord Elladan," I replied, measuring my words carefully, "but I can tell the importance of an arm as a person whose life had been saved not once but thrice by its usefulness."

"So perhaps," I said, my gaze shifting, for a moment, to the tip of the boot scruffing against the marble before making out his eyes again, "So perhaps I can relate, if only a little."

I felt a glimmer of pleasure when I saw a true smile etching across his features for an instant and I smiled in return, hoping to part with this nice atmosphere.

"Also," he said, "I am sorry for my earlier implications," I thought of adding my own apology here but he continued without a break and his speech had somehow muddled together in his haste and I wondered if he was flustered for such an incidence to happen but I didn't get to ponder as I realised his words,

"I want to extend an invitation to you, to train you in sword fighting my lady, for the one bearing a sword as old as yours must live up to its par."

I took an instinctive step back, the earlier anxiety finding itself into my stance and I was saved from replying by a tinkering laugh from my right. As I turned towards the source of hindrance all the coherent thoughts truly flew out of the window as I openly gaped at the beauty of the woman- _elleth_ , before me. Her soft eyes, so similar to Lord Elladan and yet so different in their essence fixed upon him as she gave him a smile, that surely could make any living and breathing being melt into a puddle of softness and rested a soft feminine had on his shoulder.

Next, her gaze turned towards me and the half smile extended to a full one that bloomed across her face and brought a glimmer of happiness to her eyes.

"Lady Lanette, I hope my brother was not being condescending." her melodic voice floated over to me and it took me a moment to register her words. If her brother was- _of_ _course,_ then this was _the_ lady, the lady of the Silverlight, the only daughter of Lord Elladan and the reigning princess of Imladris. The one, whose beauty, passion and kindness truly knew no bounds across the finite confines of this terminable earth, as Filvendor had so eloquently put it and while standing there shifting on my feet and looking at the sibling duo whose charm and allure was magnified by the full moon imparting its own sparkle to them and their fine features as if handcrafted by the angels themselves I registered the stark difference between our races. Somehow I couldn't help but let my eyes linger on the loosening of lord Elladan's shoulders and the softening of his proud gaze. Looking at the love and bond between them, something that had bloomed and sprung not over a few decades but over centuries, I couldn't help the string of envy and the flash of my family that passed through my mind and suddenly I felt lonely enough to curl myself into a ball and eat carbs to sleep.

Arwen seemed to think of Elladan as fault for my sadness, so she asked him to meet Lord Elrond and shooed him away with a promise that I shall give my answer at the festival and between my confusion over the festival, being locked under the strong gaze of Lord Elladan and feeling the soft perception of Arwen I could only manage a strained smile and a small 'of course' before Lord Elladan vanished into the dim lighting of the hallways and I found myself dragged into the kitchens where food was placed before us quicker than any service I had ever had in my life.

Talking to Arwen was calming. She, to my thankfulness, did not fret over me like a mother hen but rather spoke to me as a friend and occasionally as a stressed out sister asking whether her brother was too overbearing or not and even if I knew that he _had_ been a sort of jerk for the past few encounters I couldn't bring myself to say it. What I had seen today of Lord Elladan, perhaps it was what I might have been privy to had we not hit off on the very wrong foot. And looking back at the small companionable talk and his willingness to apologise even though I had faltered at the last moment and he could've flaunted his rank and royalty over me I had thought to, perhaps, not divulge my innermost thoughts. Now that I thought about it everyone I had talked to here, although had joked about his sternness, had had a certain respect and love in their gaze when they spoke of him, and I knew that such devotion can never be the result of arrogance and conceit. This can only be reached when the people adore and love you and are willing to follow you, not just because their ideas might be the same as yours neither because of your talent. No it was because of the man-or in his case the elf, he was that steered such acclaim and perhaps 'I could give him a chance,' I thought, listening to Arwen as she conversed with a passing chef, but the thought wouldn't settle in my mind and I couldn't shake off the discomfort I felt in his presence, not to mention, we really didn't seem like we'll be friendly easily and learning from a person that was hard to communicate with, was probably a huge waste of time, I thought, just as Arwen turned towards me, her gaze taking in my finished plate and handing me a napkin.

"Actually, Lady Lanette, I was seeking you out to officially pass the invitation," she said and I nodded asking her to continue, "There is a festival in a few days. An auspicious day that comes once every decade my lady. When the moon gifts the Earth with its caress." I wondered at her choice of words and she continued with a small smile, a rueful expression crossing over her fine features, "A beautiful time to be spent in the company of love," Even me, who had met her nearly fifteen minutes ago could tell the longing and desperation hidden beneath her grace and wondered at her circumstances but chose to remain quiet, not wanting to delve into a business that had no link to me.

"I will love to come," I replied softly, my hands pressing the napkin between my thumbs. She broke out of her thoughts and gave a small smile, "Filvendor himself would've invited you, but as you are the guest of My father I wanted to extend the courtesy myself."

Thanking her with an inclination of my head I parted my ways through the courtyard, retracing my previous journey in hopes to find my room while wondering simultaneously about the recent events. A certain invitation reigning supreme in my consciousness.

* * *

I struggled to hide the grin breaking across my face as I took in the tapping of Calyniel's feet across the pavement, her crossed arms and the eyes squinted in an uncharacteristic show of disbelief.

"I," she started and then gaped again as her eyes roamed over my figure. Saving her from the trauma I straightened my jutting hip and aligned the edges of my coat so that it fell halfway down my hips covering what she thought to be preposterous.

Raising an eyebrow for effect I sighed, marvelling at the serious expression I was able to put on, "Tell me if something is the wrong Calyniel,"

She looked to be wondering over her next words and I sighed ruefully, (or as ruefully I could while holding in my giggles) "It makes me a bit sad _tho_. Lord Elrond himself paid for such a fine dress and now I can't wear it to the party."

The words had the desired effect to my pleasure and the indignant look was wiped out as she sighed in contempt, "If Lord Elrond paid for it, then perhaps it is the best that you wear it." She trailed off, looking again at my assemblage as I marvelled over my dressing in the full-length mirror.

It had taken me a lot of persuasions, a bit of blackmailing and emotional coerce to get this out of the tailor. But as I looked at the finished product I was extremely glad that he had listened to me. My clothes, were what I would've worn back home, the chic and cool colours felt comfortable and I ran another hand straightening any stray strands through my hair. The pants whereas skin tight as they could get without breaking the social protocol, which in this case was actually a bit similar to the dress pants I had worn so many times before. Over it was a black V neck, forming a centimetre above showing no _actual_ cleavage but deep enough to make Calyniel fan herself in embarrassment. What actually struck her was that the short shirt was actually tucked into my pants, lining my figure and to say the least I wasn't actually displeased. The simple black colours of my suit were topped off (with extreme persuasion and certain pressure from the tailor into a thin turquoise coat, with twirling embroidery in black and gold. It had taken me a while to ensure him that 'halfway down my hips will be nice' and 'no, I didn't require any buttons' and 'that no the v line on my shirt wasn't deep enough to be hidden' and now as I stood in black small heeled boots with my hair tied on the top in an elaborate messy knot and earrings with a turquoise bead dangling way beneath my ear with a thin gold string, I was actually glad of the effect. It made me feel pretty and strong simultaneously and I basked in the effect I was feeling for the first time in the past two years.

Calyniel's dress was folded on the bed and I disregarded the contrast between my chic clothing and her soft pastel dress as I walked down the pavement to the source of melodic singing and reverberating socialising.

The lights assaulted my senses as I stepped into the large clearing crowded with the array of elves mingling about and the first thing that I noticed was the variety of food placed on the many tables, the usual vegan diet spiced up into an aromatic feast that made my mouth water. Calyniel grabbed my wrist as my feet steered too far towards the table and dragged me over the centre where many of her female companions were chattering about. Their frocks skirted around their feet and their jewels glimmered in the starlight, the light makeup they adorned bringing out their beauty. Even with my clothes I didn't feel left out as it was one of those days when one felt on the top of their glamour and the serene and pleasant atmosphere of Rivendell calmed my nerves until I was laughing and chatting with them as if their own. It also helped that my clothes fitted me well and although the fashion might be called eccentric in their time, it didn't appear bleak and actually helped me to retain my personality while simultaneously being dressed up. Calyniel's dress, although beautiful and exotic was not just for me. Even back home I hadn't been much of a dress person unless it was a prom of the invitation card strictly said 'dress'. Chuckling at the story getting told, I allowed myself to shift my attention around. The place was packed, with groups of elves cluttering about but still keeping a respectable distance from each other, although I knew it was just out of respect because they probably could listen to the others quite clearly. I smiled at the elleth, perhaps Terrilla was her name, and excused myself as I moved around the mingling crowd towards the tables that were mostly empty.

Filling up my glass, I took a moment to look whether the eyeliner (Only God knew what it was really made of) and the rosy pink of my lips that appeared natural but had led to an almost brawl between me and Calyniel. It wasn't as though I was opposed to make-up. I wore it, especially eyeliner and gloss when I went out it was just the fact that someone in my friend's list on Insta had posted a study about the history of makeup and if I clearly remembered then the old products, especially the whitening powder, was extremely damaging for one's health and I shuddered to think what I would digest if I took it in but seeing as this was the land and products of elves, 'what could be the odds?', I thought, shrugging as I shifted on my feet and leaned against the table to survey the crowd for Filvendor.

I met the eyes of Bilbo and smiled in return at his jovial greeting, motioning to my still full glass of citrus punch when he beckoned me over. He sighed with a slight smile and turned back to his conversation with the elf I had seen many times before but never knew for sure who and what he was. Surveying a little to the left my eyes made contact, yet again, with Lord Elrond and we exchanged an inclination of the head. I huffed turning away, it was as if all of their senses were too sharp that whenever I looked at someone they would surely look back at me. I picked up a wedgie from they nearby plate, chewing on the spiced goodness as my eyes shifted towards my previous search of Filvendor. He was in a group with some elves I had ranked as the most domineering, with huge presences difficult to be ignored. There was Filvendor, his easy and mischevious air about him easily marking him from other chatting to Lord Elladan which I knew was his good friend and a leader Filvendor cared deeply for. On their left was the twin brother of Lord Elladan, Lord Elrohir, whose calm and serene aura contrasted sharply with the leadership of his brother and even with their identical looks I felt that they couldn't have looked more different. Lord Elladan's face was stoic and cold, a small smile flickering on his mouth as he responded to Filvendor and even though it somehow reflected from his eyes, his face remained stoic as if he was averse to showing any emotion on his self. The way he carried himself was commanding, his presence spoke for itself much like his father's aura but in spite of the warmth with which Lord Elrond dealt with the people he, Lord Elladan dealt with cold detachment. It might've been snobbish I supposed, had it been someone else but Elladan seemed to have learnt the perfect balance between the cold detachment and warmth of a leader and even with his tall stance he never seemed to look down his nose.

Lord Elrohir, on the other hand, had the softer qualities of the elves. His gaze although still difficult to read was always filled with warmth and compassion and although I had never spoken with him, he still had the quality to make me think that it will be a nice and light conversation. His mannerisms were those of a scholar and not a leader. A researcher and an inquisitive mind, as his gaze, although fixed on his guest, seemed to flicker around curiously now and then.

Instinctively, my gaze travelled to their father and I knew that he was the mediator between them. The lord while himself calm and kind with a compassionate will to help and teach had this steel in his eyes that could send chills down one's spine if he wished it so. His stance was tall and charismatic much like his older son but his eyes were soft and the smile kind, that showed the resemblance to Lord Elrohir and I smiled at what a perfect picture those three painted together. Not to forget his daughter that was perhaps the best of all the words with her altruism, affection, softness and a will to sacrifice that burned brighter than anyone present there. A will that made me wonder what was there for her, _who_ was there more importantly so that she was like that. I wouldn't have known it before, but now as I myself could associate with such loneliness I could see it clearly displayed in her eyes, sprinkled beneath a sheen of beauty that it was almost imperceptible but it was still there. It was there and not even being among her people could rid her of it.

Downing the last of my punch and digesting the tangy aftertaste I filled in the cup with another drink and surveyed the surroundings before uttering a sigh and moving to catch up with Calyniel. I would've gone to Filvendor had it not been for the company he was in. Lord Elladan being the man I had been avoiding for the past week as I pondered over his invitation and Lord Elrohir's uncanny resemblance to his brother made it not exactly tempting to join them. There were three others present there, two of whom I was sure I had seen with the company of Lord Elladan during our first encounter. They were engaged in an intense conversation which I didn't feel like breaking with my unwanted presence. What really dispirited me was the last Lord, the famous Lord Glorfindel who had the golden aura of warmth contrasting sharply with the shimmering glow of his companions and I didn't feel like getting caught up in an intense conversation so I steered clear of them and made a detour behind the group of elleths huddled close to their space. Just as I was passing by them, hoping that I didn't stand out enough to catch Filvendor's attention and hoped that what Lord Elladan and Lord Glorfindel were explaining was important enough for his undivulged heed, I was stopped by one of the elleth in the group, her round and small features, quite unlike those of the real characters of elves lightning up jovially as she uttered aloud, "Lady Lanette, what an honour!" and I felt the sudden need to clamp a hand over her mouth as her high pitch broke across the soft murmurs of the crowd. The conversations carried on as if such unusual behaviour was common to them, (much to my relief) but I saw many looks directed at me from the corners of eyes and above clanking of wine glasses and I felt my heart sink a bit as my eyes focused on my companion and her friends, hoping to keep up with their names and their family histories that I was suddenly bombarded with.

I usually accepted and liked such a person, that was willing to make a statement and a good impression especially after being with the people who preferred to hide beneath a veil of passiveness but today was not just the day. It was one of those nights when I felt the top of my very game, felt fabulous in my clothes, my medieval eyeliner the perfect thickness and length I wanted it to be, my face free of any breakout, my body fit enough to have a eat all you want cheat day and I wanted nothing more than to stay at the sidelines, taste every cocktail placed on the tables and devour all the wedges (that might as well be a delicacy here) and only talk about light and mild stuff where I wouldn't be needed to speak another word. Perhaps had I been back home it would have a night out with my girls, in the club on the top of our game and ignore the boys in preference to our airy stories and later devouring some sort of fast food or perhaps sushi, I thought my mouth watering at the thought of meat after having to stay vegan in Rivendell. I caught myself just in time, a hesitant smile overtaking my lost expression and I saw one of the elleth smiling, a knowing look taking over her face as she nudged the other one who had been staring at me for a good of almost ten minutes.

The elleth jumped at being jabbed and a hue took over her cheeks as an apology escaped past her lips. I had no time to wonder at all the colourful (for elvish standards) personalities I was encountering today as I strained to hear her words barely above a mumble. She seemed to be used to speaking at such a volume, which wasn't surprising given their supernatural abilities but for me personally, all these years of blasting songs over my headphones were totally paying off.

"I was just wondering about your dress," she said, and as if suddenly realising that her words could be interpreted wrong she hastily shook her head, "Not in the bad way, my lady! I was just surprised that a Lady could look so elegant and regal in such attire." she spoke, her soft voice taking on the characteristic melody of elvish, "You truly look beautiful." and I couldn't stop the smile spreading all the way towards my eyes as I struggled to make contact with her downcast ones, "You are beautiful too, my lady," I replied, truly meaning my words as I took in her unusually bright orbs and light hair tumbling down and framing soft features, "even for elves." I finished and was satisfied when I saw the 'Do you really think so?' expression appearing on her face.

"Now ladies," I continued, looking around and meeting the amused gaze of Calyniel a few meters away and raised my glass as I saw her beckoning, "If you'll excuse me. It was splendid chatting with you." I said and with an incline of my head carried on my way.

Just as I put about a foot between us an arm settled heavily on my shoulder and on instinct I slapped his hand away, "Don't even!" I said wriggling out to face Filvendor, "Do you even know how long it took me to achieve this perfect messiness." He rolled his eyes at my exaggerated flailing of arms,

"You've been here for about an hour and not once had you sought me out," he replied, and his pointed gaze was fixed on me. My eyes took a swift look around me and steeled for a moment as they found the cool grey ones of Lord Elladan and nervous laughter bubbled out of my throat at his knowing expression. "Well, neither did you!" I countered, swatting his arm. It was now his turn to fix eyes on some spot above my head and I didn't even turn to know that Lady Aria was perhaps, no 100% staring holes into my skull.

"Well," I continued, hoping to ignore the awkward silence that had descended not only on us but the two groups at our respective backs, " _Wanna_ get some food?" and I didn't stop for confirmation before dragging him across the crowd until it had thinned out to leave only two of us at the very back of the feast tables.

"Why don't you just chat with Lady Aria, she's clearly head over heels for you," I muttered as I downed my glass and moved to fill it again while ignoring the withering glare he threw towards me. Sighing, I turned back towards him and rolled my eyes at the tense set of his shoulders, "I know that you're too good of a guy to lead her on and whatnot," I said and wanting to lighten the mood added, "But the next time you so jovially put an arm around my shoulder in her vicinity perhaps the next morning you'll be dealing with my remains." I said now that we were, what I hoped to be, beyond her hearing capacity.

A smirk fought dominance with his furrowed brow, "Does it bother you when I put an arm around like that?"

I stared at him, "No, why would it? after all, you're like the best- _est_ friend I have here." and for a moment perhaps I saw relief glimmer through his eyes before he turned towards someone approaching from behind.

I turned just at the moment to come face to face (or more likely face to chest) with Lord Elrohir. Sidestepping the man I returned his polite smile as he addressed Filvendor.

"Elladan and Glorfindel need to hear your views on the siege. I'm afraid I've already exhausted myself."

I could literally feel the roll of his eyes as he stared back at Elrohir and his companion just gave a small shrug before coming to stand beside me and filling up a spare glass.

"This is not the time nor the place for such talks." Filvendor murmured and for the effect stayed rooted to his spot, gulping down the citrus punch and trying to hide his disgust at the aftertaste.

"Perhaps you want to explain it to them." Elrohir said, raising a fine brow, his voice, inherently kind and soft mingled with the spark of a challenge and Filvendor stared at him as if he'd said the most preposterous thing on the planet while I wondered when I had started using such big words like _preposterous_ even in my thoughts.

"As if," he muttered and as if accepting his fate dragged himself over to the heated conference. I spared a glance towards my companion, looking at his brow furrowed in thought as his gaze traced Filvendor's path. Sensing his disinterest I picked up another wedgie, my hand itching to just take the whole platter and make a run for it and nearly stepped forward to go back towards Calyniel but couldn't when his soft voice reached my ears. When I turned, his face was contorted in apology and embarrassment and the look, however fleeting, made him seem a lot more approachable than his brother.

"I apologise, I sometimes have this bad habit to get lost in my musings."

"Don't worry," I replied, chuckling at his sheepish expression, "don't us all."

He seemed to agree with this as he smiled back and turned to face me fully,

"I am sorry, my lady, I didn't get a chance before to introduce myself." he extended a hand in greeting,

"I'm Elrohir. A pleasure to make your acquaintance."

I smiled politely, shaking his hand in a firm but fleeting wave as I gave my own greetings.

"Lanette Anderson."

He nodded as if saying that he already was aware, which was not so mind-blowing because I was the only human here, after all, and even if he didn't care for that then the meetings with his father and brother and my friendship with Filvendor was perhaps enough to make him acquainted with me.

"I hope that you are enjoying your time in Rivendell."

I braved another smile, all the politeness and being on the top of my care game draining my energy.

"Yes, it's been nice."

I replied, unknowingly looking back in the direction of Elladan, his proposition weighing heavy on my mind. It was true that I could get help from a warrior eons old than me but it was his stoic attitude mixing with my snarky one that in my mind was a disaster waiting to happen and taking a leaf out of previous encounters, even if we try to be polite it'll be hard to get any semblance of friendship with a person so dead set on closing the world off.

For a moment I had almost forgotten about Elrohir and jumped as I registered his voice,

"You seem a bit troubled, my lady."

Looking back at his concern as his eyes shifted between his brother and me, I smiled, knowing extremely well that he was perhaps the last person to complain about his brother. Sibling bond was strong and the one between twins and magical elves at that... I couldn't even think of it.

"Is there any person in the world that doesn't have something on their mind to worry about?" I replied, my voice, to my pleasure, betraying not one shred of my thoughts but Lord Elrohir was not a scholar for nothing as his previously soft gaze fixed on mine in determination,

"He is not that bad a man." he started and the tone of his voice made me comprehend with sudden clarity the resemblance between them. And as if he realised the harshness of his tone an easy smile took over his face as he inclined his head, "Figuratively of course."

I gave him a reluctant smile, my gaze flickering between the back of Lord Elladan and the gaze of Lord Elrohir and when I spoke next my words were measured,

"I'm sure he isn't, it sort of feels like what an older sibling is trying to be on the case of their younger. "

he laughed at that, the thin tension gone as his eyes sparkled in mirth.

"I am the younger one, my lady."

"By what a few seconds or minutes right?" I clarified and when he nodded shook my head with a rueful mutter, "Does that even count"

"It probably doesn't"

The silence settled for a moment as I muddled over how to break free without being impolite. The glaring stare of Lady Aria was now mixed with another one of her companions and as my eyes met Calyniel she motioned for me to come there, her trembling gaze shifting between me, Lady Aria and the two groups.

I turned towards Elrohir but the words died on my tongue as he cut across,

"He doesn't trust people easily, my lady, and I'm sure he feels guilty for dissuading you when you first came."

I processed his words, my earlier flight response dissuading as I thought perhaps I should listen to him. Coking an eyebrow in question I muttered yet again fixing my glare onto Lord Elladan, thanking my stars that it was actually his back and I could glare as much as I wanted. Even though I was sure he was aware of the dirty looks he was getting, he continued his conversation with cool perseverance and in mimicry, I fixed Elrohir with a stare,

"Why does he have to change now?"

He opened his mouth instinctively and then spoke in a resolute tone, perhaps counting the words coming out of his mouth.

"You proved to be trustworthy my lady. Had you not been able to be there, Filvendor would've surely lost an arm."

I shifted on my feet, remembering Elladan's words of gratitude from a week back and the guilt of not apologising burned in my stomach. I turned my gaze to the ground, squishing the grass beneath my boots unconsciously and twirling the glass of cocktail in my fingers,

"Worse if he hadn't been able to make it back."

He sighed when I didn't reply, his eyes pulsating for just a moment as if he was lost to why wasn't I just convinced but I was too caught up in my musings to notice.

"There are certain instances in life, lady Lanette," he replied again a moment later and this time there was a defeated aura about him that made me return his gaze. Emotions burned beneath the composed surface and I wondered why did these brothers not show their humane side, _what was holding them back?_ Oblivious to my questions he continued, every word made me realise that there was so much more to Lord Elladan and the crack in his perfection what I had thought to be because of his apology, was not more than a small scratch, not even cracking the surface of the complex entity that was him.

"An instance when one's spirit break so savagely that you've to trudge through it, pulling yourself up in spite of the blinding pain you're in if you wish to survive."

His words hit home, hard, and my gaze flickered swiftly between the small royal family and for once that despair seemed clear beneath their perfect stances. I gulped thinking of what it might be to break them so thoroughly.

"I'm sure that you can relate to that my lady."

Looking back into his burning gaze I felt myself nodding, in spite myself and perhaps now their cold detachment made sense. A self-induced response to minimize one's own heartache. Not different than what I did before the operations. It was this small moment of clarity that made another wave of guilt wash over me for just assuming him a jerk.

"Once you move on, you're no more who you once were." Elrohir continued, his own perfect mask breaking until the anger and resentment were clear and so intense in his eyes that I took an instinctive step backwards. It was gone before I could, however, say anything and there was once again the soft kindness and the defeated set in his gaze of a man who had seen too much of what he couldn't forget.

"Some people are softened, kindled when they overcome such pain and some..." he murmured his voice trailing off and as if in a trance I spoke next, my words completing his sentence.

"Some are hardened into a shell of what they once were," I said, my gaze fixed into the lean and tall back as a resolve thickened in my mind.

We both stayed lost in our thoughts for a while until Filvendor turned to beckon us over.

"I hope that you think of the proposal." Elrohir murmured when we were about to walk over.

I nodded and cast a look over at Calyniel, apology seeping into my expression as my eyes met hers. There was something I needed to clarify and if I waste this perfect opportunity I knew that it'll be long before I get another one.

Filvendor and Elrohir engaged Glorfindel into a heated conversation and I took an instinctive step towards the left and stopped when my shoulder brushed against Lord Elladan. My eyes turned towards him, only to find them lowered in question towards me. I relished the surprise that flickered through them as a smile stretched on my face and engaged him.

"So Lord Elladan?" I said, drawing out my words and nearly ( _nearly_ ) rolled my eyes as Elrohir and Filvendor's gaze pulsated towards us for barely a second and Teralin and Gistofiel's straightened their posture. I focused my attention on the man beside me.

He inclined his head in greeting,

"Lady Lanette."

Ignoring his monotone expression, I coked my head to the side, intent to stare into his eyes so that I might get to see the emotions burning beneath the facade, something to solidify my resolve and prove that I wasn't just grasping at imaginary straws. That he really was the person everyone promised him to be, not just a hollow shell of what he once was.

"So when are we starting?"

"Are you sure my lady," he replied, his eyebrow raised in question and I could see his shoulders tense a bit. The tiny flicker of his eyes told his uncertainty at whether I was sincere or not. I shrugged in answer, looking back at all the live audiences who were pretending that they were not listening and I huffed before turning back towards him.

"Perhaps I can try to trust you like everyone already does," I said, my tone was dubious, sort of like I wasn't sure myself. Looking at him my gaze flickered towards the ground and I inhaled sharply, knowing that it was now or never.

"I know that we got off on the wrong foot and I'm extremely sorry for what I said about not being a healer but..." I started, heat rising in my neck and stumbling over my words. My embarrassment increased at the smirk spreading on Filvendor's face and hoped that I could just smack it off of there. Lord Elladan, quite surprisingly, smiled at me, stopping my poorly sketched out explanation,

"I heard from Lord Elrond My lady," he said, continuing just as I met his intense gaze,

"I am sorry for being so condescending."

He looked truly apologetic and I had no reason to not accept, more so often because my own apology had been so shabby. Because he was making an effort, I felt that perhaps we can start again with an equal endeavour from both the parts.

"Apology accepted," I said, smiling widely as I bounced on my feet. I looked up at him, savouring the flustered back step he took as my dimply smile met his eyes.

"So let's start off in a new direction, shall we." I finished extended my hand. He smiled himself and took my hand into a firm shake,

"Of course, my lady. Of course."

And I thought that perhaps it would be all right. _No_ , looking at the relieved expression of Filvendor and Elrohir I was _sure_ that it will truly be alright.

* * *

The days started passing in a blur. Between sword fighting lessons, medical research and sudden fraternizing that I was bombarded with, I had barely enough time for anything else. When I felt too tired, I was glad, that Bilbo would come and drag me off, once a week, sometimes from the library or even from Lord Elladan and I could do nothing but cast an apologetic look at whoever I was with and follow Bilbo. No one minded, though, because in all of Rivendell Bilbo was the most tenacious personality and people had a deep-rooted respect for him that I found growing in me also. Our friendship was based mostly on reminiscing the past and exchanging tales as we sat down comfortably with a hot cup of tea and I found that our tastes matched quite a bit, in our spark for calling trouble or in our choice of cakes, who was to say.

The sword fighting lessons, on the other hand, began with no little amount of hesitancy and uncertainty on both of our parts. On the sweltering day of June, we held the first session and I was out of breath before we were even finished with the basics. I remembered his exasperated look at my expense and he didn't even bother hiding his thoughts when he wondered out loud how I got away from orcs, not once but thrice, and even I agreed wholeheartedly saying that it was surely a fluke and the mother luck decided to perhaps compensate for my situation in such a manner and I didn't mind it one bit. I'd rather _do_ have the luck on my side every time I encountered orcs because God knew what would happen if I was on a bad fortune.

I had learnt the basics from Eohere, back when we were trekking down the mountains toward Rohan and with no practice what so ever, my moves were quite scruffy. Lord Elladan, no matter how distant and authoritative he was, was an incredible swordsman. Even if I didn't mean to, I found myself comparing him with Eohere. Eohere was an eminent swordsman in his own right, perhaps one of the greatest in the men, but there was absolutely no comparison between a man who had been learning it for past few decades and someone who had been learning it for centuries, perhaps even aeons. I had to give credit when it was due and Elladan did deserve it all. During the few first weeks I had practised with him I had felt him explaining and carrying out the basics so well until I could even do them instinctively. When he was satisfied that I knew about my sword, and was familiar, above all else, with its weight and feel in my hands, did he move on, showing me the basics of defence. He had a point when he said that one could only learn how to attack when one knew that even their instincts could protect them from the attacks and the deep basics of defence were integrated into their very mechanisms. I felt caught up in a month. Lord Elladan's knowledge and skills of sword fighting were unrivalled. He seemed to be one with the very sword he slashed and every intricacy, of the material or of the stance he could see and in his conspicuous guidance, I found myself improving my technique.

The month of July dawned and somehow tensions between the Lords ran high. Everyone was agitated, snapping and snarling at a moments notice. It left me confused and no little lost when the anxiety continued.

I overlooked it, long enough perhaps but one specific day during the early fortnight of July I was waiting by the tree for Lord Elladan's arrival. I looked up again, my eyes narrowing and there was this feeling in my stomach that bespoke trouble so when I saw Lord Elladan approaching I disregarded the book I was reading and walked up to him. He apologized, his gaze cold and harsh and there was an uncharacteristic anger burning there that made me flinch even though I was sure that it wasn't directed towards me.

In the past month, we had come to an understanding. Knowing that we could be polite and courteous to each other quite well and neither of us had tried to step into the bounds of friendship, not wanting to rub each other off wrongly. Even though it was like that, we still found ourselves sitting together for we found that we could be extremely productive in each other's presence. Both of us had the spark to not lose and we spurred on with our work in the mimicry of the other. This led to some deep study sessions in the library as he poured over the warfares and me over the medical journals occasionally sneaking off a scroll about some war strategy because I didn't like being illiterate about anything. Soon I found myself contributing to their conversations, in the great hall or when everyone was out there sparring and taking a break in between.

Initially, I had taken to long discussions about medicine and surgery with Lord Elrohir and somehow we always ended up discussing some philosophy. It was by accident one day, while we had been in a spirited discussion about the intricacies of human emotion and the complex and various mindsets that existed out there, that I had found Lord Elladan's views to be pretty close to my own. It had led to the rare occasion of we chatting endlessly about the topic, one leading to another until we just sat under the deep dark dome of the sky staring at the twinkling stars, Lord Elrohir long retired for the night. Perhaps it was after that, that we had accepted each other and the politeness had extended to mutual respect and support although we still addressed each other formally.

In that month I had seen various expressions and had known the things that annoyed him the most but as I saw the unusual tenseness of his shoulders and the anger reflecting in his eyes I couldn't help the hand that rested on his arm, in what I hoped to be a comforting gesture,

"Elladan," I asked, some part of my brain wondering where the formality had gone off to. "Is everything alright?" I couldn't stop the tremble of worry from seeping into my voice and he braved a smile wiping out his emotions clearly until there was this characteristic coldness left into his gaze and I dropped my hand as if burned.

"You know," I said, a harshness seeping into my tone, " I hate it when you try to be so perfect."

"I don't-" he said, his eyes narrowing as if he had reached the end of his nerves.

"No!" I replied, my tone rising in volume. I took a step back and poked an accusatory finger at his chest. I saw the irritation in his eyes, saw that he was already angry but I felt my own irritation rising, the taut atmosphere of the past week getting to my nerves and I felt irrationally angry. All the thoughts of sense flew out of my brain, "You hide whatever you feel Lord Elladan," his eyes hardened at the 'Lord' I had nearly spat out.

"And to me, it is equal to you being untrustworthy and undependable." I didn't even need to look at him again to see that perhaps I had said something wrong. Something that I had said in some other meaning translated to him by opening a wound of old and hurt flickered by his gaze.

He took a step back just as I opened my mouth,

" _No_ Lady Lanette, perhaps I am so undependable", he broke off with a mocking laugh, "and here I thought that you were as understanding as everyone made you be."

I flinched, "I-"

He turned away before I had the chance to say more, "Filvendor and Elrohir are accompanying me on the orc siege. You should hope that they come back safe, for it would do you good to get rid of me."

I gasped in response, my tongue tied as I saw his swift gait take him out of sight.

Chewing my lips and wondering what had taken over me to just lose it like that and be so condescending and petty towards something that he had done just not to worry others. I felt myself sinking to the floor praying again and again that they come back safe, my mind focused mostly on one lord Elladan.

The new next week included major guilt tripping on my part. The worry fraught in Lord Elrond's brow made me despair and I had cornered him about this 'growing shadow in the west'. The answers I got slipped the very floor from beneath my feet. A war looming on the horizon, that is what was making everyone so damn fidgety and when I had asked him who was behind it? he had looked so forlorn and disappointed that for a moment I had hated asking it. The damage had been done and although I had only gotten a vague answer of 'a mistake made way in the past' I had not pushed. Instead, that night, alone in the library I had poured over old wars finally finding the great alliance and reading the records was similar to dousing cold water on my self. That night I hadn't had the strength to even navigate myself towards my rooms and I stared blankly at the records, the tales of massacre and bloodshed running through my mind until the first light of dawn broke through the curtains.

The company returned a day later and I was called by Lord Elrond to treat the injured with the knowledge I had attained until then. I was impatient, wanting to go and see others as soon as possible but complied, sensing my duty and patched up the three injured as best as I could.

Trudging back to the mess hall, I detoured towards the ground we had practised on and found all three of them there, Filvendor and Elrohir animately explaining something to Elladan whose gaze was fixed at some far spot. They perked up at the sound of my feet and when I neared, the Lords started to utter a greeting before I cut them off by flinging my arms around their necks and crushing all three into a hug. That day, as I reprimanded them and pleaded to tell me truly what and how it was happening, I saw the bond between us deepen and no words were required between me and Lord Elladan to repair the week-old mess.

July gave way to the humid August and the frequency of news being carried from the different regimes increased manifolds and we all still pretended as though things were not as bad as they looked. The scouting of the Lord Elladan's company increased both in prevalence and duration and I was left to spend most of my days focusing on the medical studies and hogging anyone free to practice with me.

The start of August brought some news for the Lord Elrond and he cornered me while I was dining with Filvendor and Elrohir and asked me to start with the offence of my training. Elladan came by the grounds irate and strung after his conversation with Lord Elrond, but he was not a man to question the leader his father was and I saw apology and desperation flash through his eyes as they met mine and even though I knew that he wanted me to ask what he knew about Lord Elrond's planning for me, I couldn't find the courage to utter those words and the day ended with a tense and awkward silence as I bid him my farewell. The next day I made up my heart to listen to his words, as Lord Elrond was intent on stalling me but found that they were leaving yet again and the questions died on my tongue as I hoped for their safety.

September dawned with the glimmer of change in seasons. The day being hot enough to sweat and the night dawning with the cold breeze that left me shivering. By the time that they were back again, I was down with a cold and flu. That day as we had gathered on the grounds to practice, Filvendor and Elrohir had somehow integrated themselves into the arrangement, I had been overtaken with high fever with chills raking my body but I was getting shabby because of the little practice I got due to their scouting and insisted that I was fine. Well _insisted_ until Elladan broke away the sword from my grip with the barest flicker of his own and I could do nothing but huff as I was settled into bed.

It took me a week to get better, to make my eyes and nose stop running enough to dehydrate me and needless to say I had missed antibiotics and antiallergics extremely during those days. Lord Elrond had been surprised when such the flu had reduced me to such a state and no matter how many times I tried to explain to him about the dependence on antibiotics it somehow ended with my mind in a fuzzy blank until he had given up on understanding. By the time I got better enough to exert myself again, they were getting ready for one last scout (they said) and were gone for another week that I spent moping. Bilbo had been a great sport during my sickness and even after that and whenever he saw me wallowing in my own self-pity with nothing else to do, he swished me away with tales and lore of old and I found myself transfixed each and every time.

October came around and the tensions in the air seemed to be physically tangible and the unspoken rule of not talking about war flew out of the window as elves started to make their departure to the undying lands one after the other. The first slap of realisation came to me in the form of Calyniel's sobbing as her group left the lands, their arguments of this darkness not being small enough to be thwarted, were now solidifying as a belief in back of everyone's mind.

I hadn't been blind to Calyniel and had seen, along with Filvendor and Elladan the stolen glances between her and Elrohir. They would truly make a great couple as their quiet understanding towards one another was quite remarkable but that had also been shattered after coming from their scout in October. Elrohir had paid others no mind and had rushed to speak with Calyniel. It had resulted in the largest fight I had ever seen between two elves, and such quiet souls at that and the next few weeks were spent in trying to dissuade the two parties, for Calyniel was not leaving for undying lands despite the darkness overtaking this world and Elrohir said that he could see the world burning but not her with it, ( _not ever_ ) and I had truly cried that night at the fate that had befallen such beautiful souls. We hadn't spoken about it again but a few days later had found Calyniel sobbing in his arms and had thought that perhaps they'll find their happiness one day. Perhaps it was this resolve, the one that made me realise that so many people have been losing their loved ones even before this war had even begun, that dispersed my fear. I thought myself to be ready for whatever Lord Elrond wanted from me because if I could play a role in stopping such misery then come hell or high water I would and Lord Elrond's relief at my words made me realise that I had truly made a nice decision.

* * *

In the month of October, T.A. 3018 all the carefully constructed facade of peace fell into one horrible reality, whose wounds continued to haunt us for the rest of our lives.

* * *

 _ **To be Continued...**_

 **A/N:** _This marks the end of her own adventures and the start of incorporation with the instances of both book and movie. In other words, the main arc will begin from the very next chapter._


	23. (PART-II) Chapter 22: The Calm

**A/N:** It took a while for me to find the spirit to complete the chapter but somehow, while crawling along the way it did end after a month. So without further delay, I'll leave this for you all to enjoy.

 _ **Dr. Zimmerman:** Thank you so much! Hope you love this one too :) _

**_Spriggan:_** _Thanks a lot 3 Hope that you enjoy this one too :)_

 ** _KariBookworm:_** _I'm so glad that you enjoyed it! Thank you very much and enjoy :)_

 ** _Hope You Enjoy! RR._**

* * *

 **Chapter 22: The Calm.**

"Hemlock is used when the procedures are excruciating. " Lord Elrond continued his explanation as he turned the white sheet towards me, to get a look at the appearance of the said plant. "It is poisonous if taken in excessive quantities and allergic reactions could easily cause one their life." I scribbled down the information on my journal and took the scroll extended towards me. "What were the substances used in your times, my lady?" he threw the question while taking in the chart I had made and I was forced to think of the parts that I had not given much thought to before.

"The knowledge has become too complex that it took the shape of another field itself." He looked startled and his brow rose for elaboration. It must've been surprising to see all the knowledge they had, become vast enough to be partitioned so thoroughly. The pastes and pills that were just obtained here were broken down at molecular levels in modern time to wound together such complex entities that were impossible in this day and age. He waited for a moment, wondering if I would elaborate, and when I stayed quiet he moved towards the window, his back towards my figure.

"That is extremely interesting, my lady."

I figured that perhaps I should explain, sensing his desire to know more and raked my brains for the drugs that were under the supervision of an anaesthesia doctor,

"But perhaps some drugs were used mostly. Like _cocaine_ or tetracaine..." I murmured the last two names, looking down at the quilt I was twirling in my fingers. The modern drugs were the result of the success in the field of biotechnology and biochemistry, both of which would be impossible without every single advancement and development in the field since the development of the earliest microscope and the determination of the cell presence by Robert Brown. Looking at the current affairs of Middle Earth it was not likely that anyone would cause such advancement in the wake of the burning fates and I knew that telling them everything without letting them invent for themselves was going to result in a huge failure. Knowledge was so complex because it started from simple observations, of day to day life and resulted in such inventions only due to the data that had been collected by the scientists since the development of natural philosophy itself and had resulted into a mass of intricacies due to the combined efforts of generations. There was supposed to be a chain of events, a series in which the knowledge was supposed to be revealed and I couldn't describe the modern mechanisms without divulging into the buried past which I myself was not enough privy to. Therefore, I just looked at Lord Elrond wondering what those drugs could be called in these times. If they are not already in use then perhaps boiling the plants with water and straining the juice can result in the desired effects.

I rounded up the effects of the analgesics, trying to generalize them for Lord Elrond.

"Perhaps something that causes loss of senses, feeling extremely happy or agitated..." I elaborated, counting the things that are usually the effects of old drugs, "Or fast _heartbeat_ I meant beating of the heart, sweating or sometimes fever too."

Seeing Lord Elrond rummage around the shelves, I continued, comprehending the fact that perhaps he was coming onto something. He flipped through the journal, coming across a few plants that caused fever and unconsciousness. Shaking my head I moved around the aisle, searching for the Great book on vegetation and greens around here. I knew of a few plants, from earlier papers and searches in university but the names of such plants were not the same here, leading to another setback in the study. For Lord Elrond the healing arts were focused on efficient healing and spiritual cleansing, their magical powers helping them immensely to better treatment but in some cases, only magic wasn't enough. If he wanted me to explore the area of my own field, here in Middle Earth, then I needed better foundations to walk on. I flipped through the species of plants listed on the bulky volume, searching for something akin to poppy. If I got that then the effects of higher drugs could be attained.

"Most of the things that cause loss of consciousness can be used because at that moment one must make a person lose their senses." I murmured drawing his attention back to myself as I set down the book on the table and leaned forward to continue the search. His brow creased for the moment my eyes flickered to his,

"Treatment of a patient depends mostly on the response of a patient." he replied, "I understand for painful procedures but is it better to keep them awake."

I considered his words, it was true perhaps that without the scans and machines the most empowering word was that of a patient (which was true even in the Modern times) and considering the fact that leading the patient to such deep unconsciousness can result in a blockage, perhaps it wasn't the best option. I chewed thoughtfully on my lip, wondering what to do. It was disheartening that I wasn't really contributing,

"In these times perhaps yes," I started looking at him, "But a patient does show response even in their semi-conscious state." He looked as if he wanted me to elaborate and just as I opened my mouth to explain the functioning of the peripheral nervous system and the unconscious and instinctive response to the sensations of pain, the door to the library burst open with a loud clang, jerking me to drop the papers in my hand. I looked back to see the cause of such disturbance and the frown died on my face as I saw the pale face of Gistofiel. He turned towards Lord Elrond and the bow he delivered was swift and stiff.

"My Lord!"

Then at the beckoning of Lord Elrond continued, the haste in his voice wavering to find control.

"Pardon the intrusion but horrifying word has arrived."

Lord Elrond took the letter from his hands, rolling out the paper and what he read brought an uncharacteristic wariness and fear in his gaze. The moment passed just as soon and again he stood tall and assertive, his next words uttered with strength and command.

"Send word to Glorfindel." And just as Gwestofiel was about to leave, he continued, the hesitancy in his tone making my frown deeper.

"Call Elrohir, Elladan and Filvendor to arrive as well."

Noticing their haste, I started assembling my things,

"Perhaps I should..." I murmured when his gaze shifted towards me for a brief second but the moment was cut off as Lord Glorfindel came barging into the room. Disregarding all else, he turned towards Lord Elrond.

"I heard that there was news," he asked. The atmosphere turned precarious and I paused my fidgeting hands as I stared at them both. The back of the librarian vanished around the corner and I made haste to leave. With my things placed in a tomb of supplies on the side, I unconsciously held a book close to my chest and weaved out of the room. The doors of the library were left open and the next words of Lord Glorfindel were spoken with a harshness that made my steps falter.

"The one." he had said, his faint tone drifting towards the end of the corridor and the wheels in my brain begun to churn as I remembered the accounts of war from centuries ago. 'But it couldn't be' I thought, biting my lip as I wiled my feet to keep moving and resisted the urge to look back at the hurried steps arriving from the other end just as I vanished down the turn.

Trotting aimlessly across the courtyard, with my mind in a calculating frenzy I recalled all the accounts I had read. Those about Sauron, about the ring he forged and the power he ruled with. The accounts that had been placed neatly in order in the restricted section of Lord Elrond's personal library. The handwriting, if I remembered correctly was of Lord Elrond and he was also the leader of the elves during that era, therefore, it was extremely probable that he saw the ring with his own eyes. But then how was it lost? Where was it kept? Why did a piece of metal matter so much? Why does it even matters now? But most importantly, if it was so devilish, why wasn't it destroyed?

The questions buzzed in my mind and the curiosity burned in my chest when I remembered the torn page in Lord Elrond's otherwise perfect book. Why was the page not there? Why were the accounts removed? What was the mistake that Lord Elrond regrets the most? I asked myself but to no avail. The sole of my shoe scrubbed against the grass and I snapped back to the present only to realise that I was nearing the stables. Wondering at the unconscious hope of my brain to see those three before they were inevitably thrown into another life-changing scouting, I entered the huge establishment and my nose wrinkled in response to the concentrated smell.

It didn't take long for them to barge into the stables and I took a step back from patting the coat of Filvendor's stallion as it perked up at it's master's arrival.

"You're leaving," I said, not finding the voice to say anymore. My eyes flickered from the uncertainty of Filvendor's eyes to the clenched fists of Elrohir and found the eyes of Elladan, the cold rage in those orbs terrifying me.

"The One," I asked, and saw the immediate effect on their stance. Their bodies becoming so tense as if strung by the hands of a samisen.

"Yes." Filvendor's voice cut across my sentence and somehow that one word answered all the questions I had, "Yes." he said again, the strong conviction in his voice melting to reveal a tone of distress.

"The war is no longer looming on the horizon Lanette," Elladan replied, "There are many countries that are teetering on the brink of that fire." I couldn't help the contempt rise in my voice,

"and you're riding to prevent that?" my tone was sarcastic, but the effect was ruined by the tremble at the end of my words. I pressed my lips together, in an effort to hide the shaking in my stance but it was to no effect as Filvendor's arm settled across my shoulder. I didn't know whether they'll come back alright or even come back alive. If we could meet orcs on way to Bree then their journey surely will be horrendous. It had been months since I had trekked my way to Rivendell and the horrifying scenes of the past filtered across my mind, making my body go cold with fear. They say that the more you face your fears the more you become resilient to them but thinking of those foul creatures in hundreds and thousands, their army facing one of the men in the war was so menacing that I hated this whole concept.

Elladan braved a small smile, his hands taking the reign of his horse and guiding it out of the saddle, "No, we're riding to seek the wisdom of the fair."

"And I'm only scouting, although a bit far this time," added Filvendor his worried tone mixing with his tryna be light attitude and creating a weird effect that made my eyebrow crease on its own. Shaking my head to rid of the thoughts, and reminding myself to remain fearless, at least outwardly, for their sakes I turned towards Elladan, my eyes tracing his movements while he saddled his horse.

"The decision hasn't been made yet?" I asked and saw all of them pause their work to stare at me.

"The letters Lord Elrond wrote a while ago." I trailed off at the alarm in Elladan's eyes which was promptly masked with a smirk.

"Perhaps you're being too perceptive Lanette." Elrohir's voice, soft and light, cut across my stare game with Elladan. I wondered if they really thought me stupid enough to not click the signs that something was being planned. Especially when I was always around the library and could see all the things the librarian and the calligrapher wrote for Lord Elrond. Also, why would they be searching for the customs of messaging the dwarves that supposedly hate them? Unless there was a bigger problem that needed to be sorted. With the One found, and the war knocking on the door, the accounts of the Last Alliance seemed to get repeated every day. I cast another disappointed look at them and couldn't resist rolling my eyes.

"Perhaps I am." I said, breaking off the question in their eyes, "Or perhaps I need to know what the prophecy meant." They looked surprised at the change of direction and I twirled my feet absent-mindedly, my eyes fixed over a spot outside the window.

"If I think about it, the few initial lines of the prophecy depicted my life till now. It isn't so complex if it has already come to pass." There was silence following my voice and I sighed at their incompetence to tell me anything. I didn't even know what Lord Elrond saw about me, how he knew my circumstances and I had this ringing suspicion that Elladan was aware of it all.

"You'll get your answers, Lanette if you wait a while," he replied, his voice guarded and I couldn't tell what he was hiding beneath the smirk on his face.

"Every time I have been promised answers in this land, I only end up embroiled in yet more questions for which I am not willing to search the answers for." My face contorted in distaste as I replied to his promise.

Then trying to change the topic when the silence stretched to become painful, I elbowed him playfully (or as playful I could get with his royal ass),

"And I thought that Lord Elrond was the wisest man ever."

"Our mothers." he murmured, his eyes softening for a moment when he perhaps remembered something about his mother and I felt my heart melting in sorrow because by now even I knew what happened to this family, "They tend to be wiser." At his tone, I felt my mind drifting for a moment at the memories of my own mother, that beautiful, kind, a compassionate and independent lady that pushed me to reveal myself unapologetically to the world. I felt my heart squeezing at the memory of her face, and even though I felt my eyes drifting shut to see her face imprinted on my lids I started to realise that her face was vanishing little by little from my mind. Even though I remembered her voice, her words, her touch, likes and dislikes somehow the image in my mind was getting dulled and my eyes snapped open in an effort to not let the tears settle beneath the list. I had no choice but to push the memories back and concentrate on the conversation at hand.

The door opened to reveal Gwestofiel with three bags which he dropped at the floor. The trance that had settled for a while evaporated on his arrival and even though his eyes shifted across us in surprise, he nodded his head in greeting, "Here are your supplies." There was a little talk between the four and a few clasps behind that felt like good luck and I busied myself with patting a horse that looked so much like Barnaby that I had become fond of it, although for the love of my life I couldn't remember its name.

They strapped the bags to the horse and said their goodbyes, and just as they were about to board, my hand settled on Elladan's arm, a question prevalent in my mind. I knew that it was only him that had been privy to what Lord Elrond said about me.

"Did your father fight in the first alliance? Do you know about it? " At his nod, I continued, the words finding themselves out of my mouth,

"Was there someone like me during that time." Understanding my question, he turned towards me forcing me to take a step back to face his height.

"He was a lieutenant in the army and held the confidence of Isildur Himself." My eyebrows raised at that. He must've arrived in good conditions and a lieutenant in the army? Was he a soldier in modern times too?

"Although he didn't seem to disapprove of the world too much and perhaps had not such adverse reaction to the traditions." I made a sound at the back of my mouth wondering how a man of our times could be alright with the world how it was today. Unless he was from olden times of our world too... Then of course.

"Of course. He was a man." I said, the distaste apparent in my tone. Elladan's brow raised at my tone and I saw the amusement flickering in his eyes before he continued,

"My father didn't pay much heed to him. Until he arrived in Rivendell asking for repentance." I nodded, remembering that I had the scroll he himself had written so perhaps I should go and read it now.

"Thanks," I said and looking at the readied stance of Filvendor and Elrohir I stepped back to let him get on his stallion.

I stared for a long and hard moment at their backs disappearing down the plateau. The questions and thoughts buzzing in my mind until I felt borderline dizzy. No matter how much I tried I couldn't make the sight of their backs disappear from my mind, the words of Elrohir prevalent in my mind from when they had ridden out for their last scout,

"This is the last time we ride to scout the area. The next time we leave it'll be for war." and the words made a stone settle painfully in my stomach.

* * *

The shadows flickered across the walls, the light of the flame glowing blood red behind my lids. The usual quiet of the Hall of Fire, that had once appeared nice and calm to me settled around my senses as a painful taunt and I couldn't help but draw my knees to my chest and rest my head on the wall, hoping against hope for a moment of sleep. The letter, that I had brought up the courage to finally open was lying a bit sideways. I had anticipated the worst, wondering what was written in it, rather there was only the shortened tale of the life and choices of a man wronged in his life. It was sad and traumatising, reading what he went through, how he tried to adapt to the land around him, how he was misled by the deceptive promise of the Lord of the Rings and how his selfishness costed him more than he could bear. The last part was the one that played at my heartstrings, this letter was the one he wrote in the last moments of his humane form, the tears from that moment still imprinted on the aeon-old paper, as a part of curse or the last material memory of him, who was to say.

Eugene was his name, he said. A man of the army, born and bred during the turbulent times of the early 1900s. A man that had started to adapt to the new advancements of science and was suddenly dragged back to the era where nothing he knew of life mattered anymore. I wondered what his response might've been, had he been a man of the twenty-first century, how would he have adapted. I wondered what his decisions would've been had he been in my situation. Would've it been harder to adapt, or would it have been the same for him. How did being in the army help his case? How did he become one of the trusted men of Isildur? But alas such details were not the part of the brief tale of his life. Reading the letter was a journey, a short one but filled with so many emotions and feelings that it left me drained, perhaps because I was imagining myself in all the situations he had been in and learning about the deception, to warn against which he had written this letter, I wondered how things would've been different had I not known about the deceptive promise. Would I even get the promise, to begin with? And what would be my choice in the end?

I sighed again, leaning against the wall as the bliss of the sleep overtook my consciousness. Since those four had left more than a week ago, all the elves around Lord Elrond and the man himself has been preparing for something that I have been turning a blind eye to, or trying to, I thought as my mind shifted to a few days back when an old man, _Mithrandir_ , I found out later, appeared in Rivendell all beaten and battered and bearing news that seemed to suck out the very life out of Lord Elrond and then a few days ago Glorfindel had arrived in all the hurry and even Bilbo, who had been too kind to keep me company had been taken up by a visitor that no one was allowed to visit. No one but the very top tier. I had heard of the arrival of three other hobbits and a man that was loved by almost all the elves here but hadn't had a chance to meet any of them. That was also probably my own fault, I knew that because these days my only destination was the library, the kitchens and this hall, sometimes navigating myself to the quiet of the waterfall just outside the valley. Although the last leisure had been cut off since the arrival of the guests and I myself had seen the shadows lurking beneath the light when I had unknowingly ventured too far and had got quite an earful from Glorfindel, someone I had not even seen raise his voice. It had taken a lot of constraints to not snap back that I was not a mind reader to know the details that everyone had been hiding. But he was _Lord Glorfindel_ , a man whose presence was as dominant as Lord Elrond and I didn't have the energy to get into a spat. So I had settled for a glare directed at his back as I moved back towards the valley.

Somehow looking at everyone's expressions I had taken to stay away, whatever was happening was far too important and arduous that they perhaps did not need another person to deal with.

That is why I found myself sitting huddled in the Hall of Fire hoping for sleep that had been taken by the recurring nightmares. The shadows swirled in my lids, swirling and curling until I could see the fearsome shapes of orcs swirling around. The few of those creatures multiplied into an army that rampaged across the plains of Pelennor until all I could see was blood, death and decay spread across the land, a bloodied blade in my lap as I screamed for the lives vanishing before me. It happened as a sequence, with all the people I've associated with in Gondor. The remains of Calyniel, Brinielel, Anariel, Naimla, Brilon left wasting in the grounds, sometimes even hanging off of the walls, making all my dreams appear fearsome and unbearable. Sometimes when I twisted and turned in my dreams I could also see the others, Eohere, Filvendor, Elladan and Elrohir. Sometimes even Glorfindel as their bodies get crushed under the ruthless rampage of the orcs.

I was startled awake as a blade impaled my heart, just like many times it had before in my nightmares and could do nothing but wipe a quivering hand over the cold sweat streaming down the forehead. My neck creaked in protest and I realised that I had fallen asleep in the Hall of Fire and with little courage, I reminded myself that those nightmares were nothing more than mere illusions and the world had not yet fallen into such chaos that I dreamt off.

The rays of the sun had not yet broken out of the dull grey of the sky and I gulped down the fresh air of the morning, its cool essence making my worries dissipate for a moment. I clutched my coat tighter against the cold breeze of November morning and although I was not a fan of cold harsh mornings, something about the peaceful abode of Rivendell calmed my frazzled mind and I found it to be more peaceful than sleeping, especially since these days rest was not being associated with much-needed sleep.

I wondered why the nightmares had suddenly begun. Looking behind at all the encounters with orc I knew that perhaps at that time I had squashed that fear and worry because I thought that I will go back, that all of those encounters would end up being one fearsome and prolonged dream that only I will be privy to as I woke up in my old bed with the alarm ringing on the bedside. Then the third time, I had won over them, a feat that I myself was proud of and in the rush of the moment to save Filvendor, the encounter was faded to the back of my consciousness. But now, as the promise of war with orcs was coming nearer and nearer with no other dream to escape into, the reality of the fear was solidifying in my mind and I couldn't help but think of the scenarios that had not yet happened. I wondered if I had an option, and giving it a long thought I realised that I did. Lord Elrond was not a man to push anyone to do his bidding and considering the fact that he wasn't sure how my actions will affect the fate of this world (considering that they will affect it at all) it all came down to what I wanted to do. Which ended being the biggest problem of it all. 'What _did_ I want to do?' I asked myself before sitting on the rock at the main gardens. Did I want to fight in the war? No, I didn't. But did I want to run and hide hoping that others win the war for me? No, I didn't want that either. I had sword practice, from some of the best swordsmen available and considering the fact that I was much more experienced than mere farmer or Baker boys (that I had seen returning from some battles back in Gondor) that will have to inevitably fight on their side, sitting back to let them do the deed was cruel. That was the one thing in which I didn't want gender to effect on the most. I could fight and if the situation arose where I had the choice to either fight or wait I knew that I was not a person to ever sit back and wait, constantly praying and worrying if those I knew would come back. I had seen glimpses of what the wait of mothers and lovers during the olden wars was when I had seen Filvendor and the others riding away on scouting and even that bit of glimpse had been unbearable. Now, unlike most of the women, I had a choice, which I was going to avail when the time came.

I sat for a long while in the dark of the garden, until the sun split the dull grey into a vibrant blue, basking the land with its soft warmth. I leaned my head back, taking in the warmth of the sun that felt pleasant against the biting cold of the wind that had been chilling me to the bones for the last hour or so. I leaned back until I fell on the grass bed letting the ground mould into my stiff back and letting my eyes trace over the clouds as they swirled on the sky perhaps marking an impending downpour. The peace of the moment made my mind swirl back to the prophecy I had heard, the one that Lord Elrond even claimed that he knew not what to make of. It took a while for me to remember the words but even if I tried to make some sense of it I couldn't make it out except for the first few phrases that I knew depicted my life till now. But the rest... I wondered what was I supposed to fight for? Who were those that I'll stay in their company? what was I supposed to fight for? why was I even supposed to fight? what was the reason for the prophecy? I ran a hand through my hair, letting out a loud groan of frustration. Nearly jumping out of my skin at the chuckle heard from above me, my eyes snapped open and my hand travelled instinctively to a small knife that I had been instructed by Glorfindel to carry around. The amused smirk of the man in question was the first thing I saw and couldn't help but jump to my feet, brushing off the grass and blushing in mortification. I knew from experience the types of faces I made while struggling with a decision myself and to think that he had seen me argue with my own self...

"There is much on your mind?" he asked, his polite tone masking an undertone of amusement that made me try to act cool and brush off the incidence.

"Don't us all," I repeated, hoping that I appeared as nonchalant as I had when I had first talked to Elrohir. He looked as if he wanted to say something but decided against it as he led me to the location Lord Elrond wanted to meet me at.

I let the subject drop, my mind instead, focusing on why Lord Elrond would want to suddenly meet me after a week of nonchalance.

My question was soon answered though, as I entered a brightly lit room, with minimal supplies and housing the people I wasn't yet introduced to. I managed a small smile for Bilbo, who looked pale and too worried for his jolly outlook, and the smile turned to a nod an acknowledgement as I saw the frazzled youth beside him. Sparing another look at his frayed hair and wrinkled clothes, I nearly commented on the dark circles beneath his eyes but prevented to do so because of the ones that were quite visible beneath mine also. Lord Elrond ushered me over to the patient lying on the sole bed, and I fidgeted under the strict gaze of the old wizard.

"The wound is deep and extremely dangerous," Lord Elrond was saying as I took in the hobbit's appearance, "the anaesthesia was highly effective."

I inclined my head, willing for him to continue. My hand found its way to his neck and took in the pulse, missing the way the Gandalf's hand tightened on his stick.

"There seems to be still a piece of weapon stuck in his flesh," he continued, ignoring the wth! Look I was giving him at the moment, "although opening the wound without the proper diagnosis is too big of a gamble."

"Is it?" I murmured, my voice taking a sarcastic edge in spite of myself, "and how long is it until he survives with the shards inside?" I asked. My mind took in his steady yet painfully slow heartbeat. The rasping breath and the fever that was teetering on the brink of hazardous and the only thought that passed through my mind was not even a day. Looking into Lord Elrond's eyes I knew that he agreed.

"I remember that our conversation about the responses was left interrupted," he said and with a sinking in my stomach, I realised what he was really pointing to. "You were insistent that a person can respond even with the barest hint of consciousness," I nodded, remembering the times when we had to use ECG to measure the level of anaesthesia or to measure the brain activity. In those conditions, sometimes even a zap to the wrist showed increased activity in the par to the brain but the fact being that it all was probably when hooked up to the machines.

My brain churned to find the sole solution as I asked Gandalf to move to let in more light on the chest and removed the cloth to see the sharp wound meticulously sewed from beneath. It was perhaps true that the anaesthesia of the current times was not as good as those in modern times so perhaps there was a lapse In unconsciousness even if for a moment.

"The Peripheral nervous system does respond to the unconscious responses of pain. Look for a jump in the pulse no matter how small it is," Asking Lord Elrond I snatched away the cloth to get a better view of the wound instead something shimmered across my periphery. On instinct, my eyes travelled to the piece of gold dangling from the neck of the hobbit and all the nightmares I was trying hard to forget came rushing back to my mind. The screams echoed in my brain, shrill and piercing until I felt as if my head would split open. The blood and gore vanished and I saw a huge eye suspended in a ball of fire and saw myself gifting the ring that I just saw a glimpse of and a peaceful world suspended in the wake of my action. I faintly made out the hands of Gandalf supporting my fall and the fate to meet with the ground was not fulfilled when I leaned on Gandalf for support. The colours came back in successive vibrancy and the voices that had before dimmed into indecipherable whispers magnified into worried words. I gasped for air, waving an arm to tell that I was alright and stood on shaky feet, the visions still clear in my mind. I suddenly knew what the ring wanted from me, the power it had exerted over me to show how my actions will help the people stay alive. I barely stopped my twitching fingers as Gandalf's hand grasped my wrist in warning. Looking into his grey orbs I nodded once, taking my hand out of the loose grip and covering the shimmering gold with the edge of his shirt. The action seemed to return the life to the room and everyone breathed a collective sigh. I nearly laughed at the effect this piece of jewellery was having on us all but focused on my work, with a feeling that no one will appreciate a pun about the great ring, especially when they were not aware of the scene I saw and what the ring had promised me.

Pressing my hands gingerly on the wound, I held an eye open, waiting for a minute show of consciousness, dilation of the pupil, a jump in heartbeat, a twitch in muscle but nothing came by even after I had pressed the wound and its surrounding areas twice. Moving a centimetre sideways I pressed at the ribs and quite miraculously I thought that I saw a twitch of the fingers, looking into the brown orbs I wondered if the pupils had dilated and somehow it felt as they were. I pressed down at the area again, more gingerly this time and met Lord Elrond's eye when he straightened after what was surely a jump in the pulse.

"It is thankfully lodged in the rib muscles, a bit of a difference and there would've been no chance of his life."

Lord Elrond nodded in confirmation and I moved to let him take over. For a while we both inspected the wounds, still worrying about the exact location.

"If it somehow lodged itself inside the ribs, then it will be extremely risky to let it rest for another moment." he nodded his head in confirmation to my words.

"I'll draw a picture," I said suddenly, making all of them pause to look at me. "A draft if you may. We've had extensive studies of the subject, I'm sure that it'll be detailed enough to help."

It took me a while to get it done. A few hours to be exact. I sat on the chair beside the window, bent over the sketch in my lap, trying to remember the anatomy that I had studied in med school, all the structures I saw during the operations. By the time I was finished with the sketch of the left part of the middle portion of the abdomen, the sun was moving down the other half of the sky showing it to be about four.

Lord Elrond took his time studying anatomy and when I was sure that he was satisfied, by the appreciable look he gave me, I was up and about to leave. I knew that he and his best healer were up to this case and seeing as they were ready for the operation, I saw no reason for me to intervene and moved towards the door.

My mind was now focusing back on the scene I had seen. I was just out of the door, hoping to get a bit of bite before someone stopped me. My eyes fell on the three men, Lord Elrond, who was busy opening the wound, Gandalf, the whose tired gaze was observing from the side and Glorfindel whose blue eyes turned to mine in question. My steps halted at the scene, although insignificant, and I wondered if it was perhaps this easy. If we were just supposed to submit the ring and it'll return to a peaceful abode that It once was. But it was not, I realised looking at the back of Lord Elrond's hunched over the hobbit to save just one more life, the crease of his brow set in determination or stubbornness, who was to say, the old, stooped back of Gandalf that somehow still spoke of power and charisma, the beaten face and the split lip telling a story of greater secrets than that met the eye. The power of Lord Glorfindel, in mystique and kindness that somehow vanished when it came to association with the Dark Lord. It was because of these that I realised that perhaps it was not. If it was this easy then these men would've tried it aeons before I had. Because it was their land, their people, _their home_. If there was one thing that I needed to do right now was to trust, to believe in the people of one side and to stick to the decision that I make. And as I returned the questioning incline of Glorfindel with a shaking smile of my own I realised that perhaps I never needed to choose a side because in my mind perhaps choosing between kindness and compassion or dominance and thirst for power was not really a choice that I needed to make. Even if I was allowed to change that decision a hundred times, I thought, my eyes blurring with the memories I had made here, I will always end up with the same choice. The same choice to change the misery of this world with every bit of compassion that I can spare.

* * *

"I didn't do anything special."I insisted, coming around the bed to check Frodo's vitals one last time. I was surprised by the effects of hemlock, and if things would keep up like this it was highly probable that he'll wake up in a few hours even though it wasn't even a day after the surgery. "We both know that the effect of hemlock was wearing off to gauge the response." I continued my tirade and closed the door softly behind me accompanying Lord Elrond to his study.

"I just happened to be lucky enough to be the one to notice it at that moment."

I was rewarded with a small smile, directed at me from the corner of his mouth.

"You never seem to take praise for your work," he said, his words stretching out with a sigh. I could do nothing, so instead of a long tirade, just took to shaking my head firmly, staying by my point,

"I do, but only when I really do contribute, in a way someone wouldn't perhaps be able to."

He nodded and we let the topic drop. Reaching into the library I was greeted by the towering figure of Gandalf, bent over Lord Elrond's desk. He perked up at our arrival and with a nod of acknowledgement turned towards me. In those few days, while passing by in the hallways and remembering his cold demeanour from yesterday I was surprised to see the mischievous twinkle in his eye. One of his eyebrows raised instinctively as he tipped his hat doing a half greeting,

"I'm afraid there hasn't yet been an introduction." he started. His old and deep voice somehow appeared calm and friendly and I felt the tension at meeting such a well-known wizard dissipate from my shoulders, especially since my last encounter could hardly be considered pleasant.

I returned the smile, extending a hand in greeting and returned his handshake with a firm hold of my own.

"There need not be. I've heard much about you Gandalf."

I was rewarded by a wholesome laugh and I could see the glimpses of why he was so popular among the fellows here.

"And I about you Lady Lanette."

A small laugh reminded us of our companion and we both followed his lead to the balcony. The view was breathtaking, especially as this was the Lord's personal lawn, loved and cared for once by his dear wife. It was perhaps the reason one could see the special care and affection given to every crook and corner of the lawn, shimmering in the diluted rays of the sun making a picturesque frame.

I had barely settled down in the chair, looking at all the various blueprints spread out before us before Lord Elrond's voice pulled me out of the train of curiosity.

"Can I ask you what you saw?"

I didn't even need to look up to see what he meant by that. I wanted to pretend indifference because I myself had taken the heed of someone that perhaps understood me the most but the scenes sprayed across my lids as if branded on my eyes and I couldn't help the shiver of fear that passed through my body at the evil temptation.

Nevertheless, I braved a smile, a moment later, and tried nonchalance,

"Not much," I started, but then looking at their expressions changed the tone, "Or should I say nothing to worry about."

There was silence for just a moment as Gandalf leaned forward in his chair, that was coincidentally quite opposite from me and seemed to take in all my thought from just my bare expression.

"Sometimes the smallest of the problems magnify into the most substantial," he replied, and this time his voice held the quality of patience and understanding as if he knew what the One ring could've shown somebody. A bare flicker of foreboding passed his eye and his expression coaxed me to reveal the details.

It took some internal debate, and I was sure that it showed quite visibly on my face before I came to the decision and took a long sigh,

"I've been having nightmares for a while."

"It's fine," I replied again, waving a hand massively, looking at the worry passing through their eyes.

"There is one particular dream in which I see the fall of Gondor, over and over again," I said, the scenes of gory and bloodshed replaying in my mind. I closed my eyes, breathing in for a moment. The scene shifted to the happiness of the general public and the beauty I had seen in that little moment. "The ring promised a life of happiness if I return it."

They both reacted simultaneously, a look of warning passing between them. I shook my head at their antics and gave a small smile, of what I hoped was a reassurance.

"But don't worry, I don't plan to."

They looked as dubious as I thought they would be. It was no doubt that the power of the ring was compelling, its promises too sweet and deceptive and unless I hadn't known about what had happened in the past, especially to the one person, Eugene Alfred, that I could perhaps associate with the most, I would've also believed those promises. But now I knew about the reality and knew that it would take much much more to break my trust in those that had helped me so much. It would take months or even years of continued persistence to make me believe in the Dark Lord. And I was sure that I wasn't important enough to be shown that image more than once. It was meant for only those eyes that made contact with the golden temptation and with much care I was sure that I wouldn't have to see it again, for a long long time.

That is why I could give the smile of confidence, etching across my face. I breathed in a long breath, trying to dissipate the deep stone in my stomach that had settled a few weeks back and turned my head to look at Lord Elrond,

"I've heard of its powers to lead people to despair, promising what they want the most."

Lord Elrond stared for a long moment and I returned the gaze, knowing that in some situations only eyes can be the windows to the soul. In some situations, even words were not necessary to prove one's honesty.

"How are you sure of its deception?" Gandalf asked, perhaps poking at the last burning embers of the doubt but I could see his trust, beneath aeons of knowledge and circumstances.

"I read the letter of Eugene, and.." I started, my words coming to a halt as I made up my words.

"I chose a side I'm willing to trust."

They both looked satisfied with the answer and hoping to lead the conversation away I threw a jab at Lord Elrond, one that I was sure he didn't know the answer to, yet.

"Did anything come of the prophecy?"

Lord Elrond leaned back with a sigh and shook his head. He turned his gaze towards me a moment later,

"I think you should be made aware of how I knew you." he started, "I have the ability to see the future wrapped in riddles."

"I heard," I replied nodding in confirmation to the tales I've heard from Filvendor. Sometimes in the lazy days in-between the stresses of war when we found enough time to laze around and to momentarily forget the troubles that were shadowing all life.

"For three consecutive days I saw a woman, whom I was not aware of at that moment," he said, his demeanour set in a way that I knew that woman to be me.

I leaned forward, knowing that it was something I was supposed to know,

"One day I saw you, in a world unlike I've ever seen but the journey there brought you no little amount of sorrow."

I looked down at those words, a small pang spreading across my chest. Braving a smile I looked on, hoping him to drop the topic of my old home. He took the hint quite easily and steered the conversation back into place with practised ease,

"The next day I saw you in the fall of Gondor, screaming as the last remains of the stronghold fell to despair." That drew a gasp of surprise out of me because I also had the same dream taunting my peace for the past many days. Gandalf's eyebrow was raised in question as I uttered a surprised, "You saw that too?"

"Was it similar to what you've seen?"

"I," I started, my heart beating wildly in my chest. I couldn't help but wonder if it had a specific meaning if it was true that is, why we both had seen it, "Yes," I nodded in confirmation, "I did see it."

I missed the concerned look exchanged between the two as my unfocused gaze met with the table, the events of the dream and those the ring had displayed running through my mind. It all came to a halt with the very question that had been in the mind and instinctively it fell upon my lips and I fathomed my words moments after I had uttered them.

"Then, is Gondor fated to fall?"

It led to a tense silence, during which Gandalf took out a pipe from somewhere in his robe. The smoke soon engulfed the surroundings, and although it was irritating to be surrounded by, it was also the last thing that I was probably concerned with. I couldn't help but think how the smoke delivered a mysterious effect to the atmosphere and quite naturally my anticipation for the answer rose,

"We know not what will become of it," Lord Elrond begun after a while of contemplation, his words guarded and measured, "but in that dream, I felt as if you've not been to Imladris." I felt my eyebrow raise in surprise at the revelation. It was quite a news because I was almost driven out of Gondor to come to seek help here.

Still, I nodded my head, because in my small stay in Middle Earth I had somehow learned the significance minute decisions had on our overall life and I wouldn't be surprised to hear if it effected in that way,

"So that was the choice of remaining in Gondor forever."

Lord Elrond continued his explanation after a pause, giving me enough time to gather my thoughts and focus again on the perceptions,

"In the third, I saw you looking from above the valley as orcs storm into the last stronghold of the free world."

I stared at him for a long moment. Somehow I had hoped that at least one of the paths he saw would have a nice future, the one that I could steer and aim towards but all the things that he had told...

"Nothing is much." I murmured, my fingers tracing patterns into the table, "According to what you saw everything ends with despair."

It looked as if Lord Elrond had expected that response because a small smile graced his features and the look he gave me was a mix between understanding and compassion,

"Everything I saw," he said, leaning forward into a more comfortable position, "was where you stopped moving with your will."

I snorted at that, a sarcastic smile pulling unbidden onto my face,

"I'm pretty sure that me moving will not affect the well being of this world."

"It will not." Gandalf chose that moment to interrupt. Although he was speaking with us his gaze fixed on the wall, perhaps reminiscent of some past that I was not privy to, "There is never a man whose sole actions change the world for the better."

Then his kind gaze fixed into me, and I couldn't look away from those icy depths and could do nothing but nod along as I listened to his opinion,

"Even when someone is hailed as the hero, those nameless people that pushed and helped his every decision, without them, the hero wouldn't have won."

"Sometimes even a small smile of gratitude can pull someone over from the darkness." Lord Elrond added, a smile directed in my direction that made me remember what Lord Dervorin had said about Calyniel.

"And Lady Lanette you have the ability to bring gratitude with the skilled healing you can provide"

I looked at my lap, the weight of his words was pleasant but somehow also empowering, something that made me want to shake away the speech and simultaneously take it to the heart and follow it to the length,

"People usually need someone to look to," Gandalf continued, "pillar, a wall, a source of hope and that is what they cannot find in this age."

"I think that your prophecy points towards that, to bring hope in a world severely deficient in it." his eyes somehow twinkled with mischief and goodness that Bilbo had described as his characteristic features but it was my first time seeing them and I could wholeheartedly agree with him when he said that such a look could probe you into doing the most dangerous shit just for the sake of adventure.

"Take it as an advice from an old soul, if you may."

"That is a bit... Philosophical." I started, the words failing me when I sought about how to reply.

His eyes twinkled merrily and he leaned sideways onto his stick so that he could see me fully without the jug hindering my face,

"You do not agree with me."

"You cannot blame me."

He laughed at the prompt reply and nodded his head once, shrugging his shoulders as if admitting defeat,

"With time you'll learn what you can do in these circumstances."

"Take the current situation to rest like a calm before the storm," he added, more of as an afterthought while raking a hand through his long beard,

I sighed at those words, remembering the various guests that were appearing out of thin air these days, it seemed. I was, admittedly, holed up in the library most hours but every time I took a venture down to the hall, there were always some new guests, of some new race or origin that I was unfamiliar with. It came with no less anxiety of seeing only new faces and I had taken to detour to the kitchens only, in my never-ending pursuit of a good meal. All those new faces spoke of only one thing, the great alliance that had happened once before, it was having the same effects as those tales,

"So you are after all taking precautions to land into the fight." I sighed, leaning into my propped arm. His brow fraught with worry and for a moment he looked indecisive.

"We have to."

"Frodo shall wake soon enough." I probed the subject more, wondering if they'll give into the fact and would reveal why all of them were gathering in Rivendell but it ended with no such luck as Gandalf got up from his seat with a knowing look etched into his face at my never-ending curiosity,

"And perhaps the path we're supposed to take will be decided too."

"I can't believe how much I'm starting to believe in fate and destiny since coming here. " I murmured in response and with a nod of leave followed Gandalf as Lord Elrond busied himself with the recently arrived guest seeking his help. On the way out of the door, my gaze met with a dwarf, small and bulky yet covered in hair and weapons to an extent that he looked menacing even in his stature. I gave a small smirk before I disappeared down the corridor, his gobsmacked look at my attire running through my mind. I had almost forgotten how fun it was to leave people speechless after all these months in Rivendell.

I followed Gandalf down the hallway and was about to part ways when his voice stopped me in my tracks.

"No, dear are you going to the Great Hall?" he said and I followed his movements with a nod as he came to stand by me.

I once again had to marvel at his towering height, a long way from my 5'5 stature and had to lean back on my feet as he bent down to look at me,

"Shall this old man accompany you?" he said leaning on his old stick for support and I shook my head at the amusement quite visible on his face.

"If you want to," I said, shrugging and moved to keep up my pace.

"Have you heard Bilbo's tale?"

I looked at him from the corner of my eye as we trudged along the stone path to the great courtyard of the valley,

"I did," I said, my voice lowering to a whisper. I smiled at all the tales he had told me and how at first those tales had helped me adapt to my surroundings. Gandalf took my pleasant mood as a cue to continue,

"He was also a mere hobbit, living a peaceful life in a house others of his race were envious of." I nodded at his words and inclined my head, urging him to speak more,

"It was by chance that he was coaxed into an adventure, where people believed that he could do better than he trusted himself to."

Realising where he was going, my pace slowed to stroll and I stared at his back that was now pacing in front of me,

"His life has also been an array of mistakes and luck siding with him every time to make him a hero of his own story."

So had it with me, I thought, suddenly realising why I and Bilbo had hit it up so quickly

"That is why I think Bilbo has taken a liking to you," Gandalf replied, turning his head sideways as I caught up to him and then after a small pause continued his tirade,

"You were also led here by chance, you've also had your choices reduced and people demanding more than what you think yourself capable of delivering but still you've been saving the people along the way," he said, stroking his beard and his eyes turned to me in question, asking me if I thought the same. My eyes lowered to the grass growing stubbornly in between the stones and for a moment I thought of a reply, the three years of my life replaying over.

"Perhaps that is how it is going to be for you too."

I nodded, albeit hesitantly, still wondering if this was how my few years had been,

"You just need to follow what your heart tells and your mind speaks, the rest will play it out." A soft smile graced my lips at those words, that was frighteningly similar to those Filvendor had spoken once before and I couldn't help but nod in acceptance because this was what I had learned to embrace about my life here,

"Bilbo will not be the one remembered if the ring is taken care of, it'll be the person that destroys it in the deepest depth of flames, but it was Bilbo who had found and hidden the ring for long enough to make us strengthen our alliances."

Another startled gasp escaped my lips and I stopped to face him

"Bilbo found the ring!", He nodded as if it was surprising that I was not privy to the detail but with all the secrecy going along the ring it was no surprise that Bilbo did not even make a roundabout mention about the tinker.

"It is no surprise that it ended up in Frodo's hands. " I murmured in understanding, the things in the history finally making a point with the present. Although there were still many gaps left the story was making some sense.

"That hobbit is Frodo?" I said out loud. The image of Frodo, of a hobbit in his sixties, was a lot older than what I saw of him. He looked too young, even a decade or younger than me but to say that he's fifty...

"Isn't he supposed to be fifty or something?"

Gandalf gave a hearty laugh, his eyes crinkling at my gobsmacked expression,

"Sixty."

I barely held myself from uttering some sassy English phrase. Realising that I had my hand on my chest and face in a typical 'Excuse me! What did the bitch just say?' expression. I let my hand drop and nodded,

"Wow." Very eloquent.

"I'll keep your advice in mind," I said when the great hall came into sight. Just as I was about to leave Gandalf's voice stopped me in the way, the previous mirth gone and replaced with a serious face,

"Give it some thought. Perhaps you'll find what is it, you're supposed to do."

"Will do," I replied and with a nod parted the way.

* * *

I had barely stuffed the last chunk of bread into my mouth when the head of a hobbit peaked from behind the tree. Squinting at the scene, I struggled to chew down the piece, so that at least I'll be able to respond. The hobbit peaked once again and then realising that his actions were already caught, he looked at his feet and then braved a step forward, away from the natural shield. I remembered him from yesterday, the one hobbit that was always by Frodo's side and smiled at him, waving him over.

"Miss," he began, a shy smile peeking from behind his fringes and I had to remind myself again that this hobbit, no matter how young and cute he looked was probably much older than me. I inclined my head to the side, the title Miss after so many months bringing back a few memories of my own. It had been so long since someone had called me that, I wasn't sure if there was anyone after Eohere who bothered thinking of me as not a Lady but just another casual acquaintance. Thinking of the first man that had pushed me to step this far, I wondered what he was doing. Initially, I would've said that he was perhaps roaming around the lands, scouting the areas alone and with his free will but when Ehara had called him a Lord... I had realised that I wasn't privy that much to his present life. We both had shared with one another the wounds of the past, the responsibilities we must uptake and the hopes we carried in our hearts and during the tirades of past and future, we had forgotten to divulge into the most real of them both. The present.

Shaking my head off from such thoughts I listened in to the hobbit, "Lord Elrond said that you, miss, helped him in healing master Frodo."

He seemed to be gaining confidence in his speech and his worry fraught gaze, still soft with compassion and life, focused onto my face as his words hurried along, "I oughta be thanking you, miss, I was about to lose all hope."

I gave a small chuckle at that, looking down at my hands in gratitude at his words, "Lord Elrond, I'm afraid, did exaggerate. I merely pointed out a few things, the rest," I said, waving my hand around, "was all his work."

He shook his head for a moment as if he was sure of my contribution and had just opened a mouth to say something when two other hobbits rushed into the ground. Their demeanour was so unlike this shy and respecting hobbit. Their loud steps echoed on the path and they waved around their arms, successfully diverting both of our attention. In their jovial mood, they failed to acknowledge my presence and instead latched onto the first Hobbit, giving the news of Frodo's awakening. The hobbit's eyes shone with happiness and relief and they rushed forward to leave, then the hobbit, remembering me, turned in uncertainty. I just waved him off, imploring him to move to see his friend knowing that perhaps it was best to not hold them from their happiness. He gave a small bow, of gratitude, and was off before I could say anything more. I was left alone in the gardens by the main hall, a small smile etched across my face because of happiness that one can only get by saving a patient.

* * *

I leaned back on the chair, hearing the wood creak under the pressure as I pushed back on it only to swing forward, again. Sighing, I turned the chair around so I could straddle it and supported my chin on the back, following Calyniel's busy figure with my half-lidded eyes. The cold breeze was sharp and to escape the whipping pressure I took refuge in the great hall, planning a quiet snack within the confines of the warm abode. Although all of those hopes were shattered when I entered to see the elves rushing around, under the orders of Lady Arwen herself. Amidst the chaos, I had turned to sneak off but was called by Lady Arwen. Her quiet gaze, knowledgeable and compassionate as it had always been held such a peculiar mixture of excitement, pleasure and sadness. Suddenly I was transported to the day, about a month back when I had seen the same in the face of Calyniel, the same face that I even see these days, the one that was always on the top of her consciousness, so much that now she could not even erase the traces of the look of love and simultaneous heartbreak from her eyes.

Looking back at the times I've met the Lady, this was the first time I had seen her expressions displayed so vibrantly under her command and I wondered who had come to make her this way. It was impossible to tell, though, as the magnitude of the guests in Rivendell, from all races and walks of life, increased. There were elves, from the kingdom of Lothlorien and the delegation of the Prince of Mirkwood (whom I wanted to catch a glimpse of. After all, the only princes I knew were of UK, Prince Harry and Charles, the particularly famous ones), dwarves from Erebor, especially Gloin and his son Gimli (whom I wanted to meet especially to catch a glimpse of at least one person from the company of Thorin Oakenshield but was unsure in stranger company. So I remained out of Bilbo's way, lest he had those companions, although I was sure that he was too busy with his heir the past four days) and of course the man I was dreading, the one that appeared on the night Frodo arrived and the one that I had taken special care to keep at an arm's length and it was no other than the favourite Lord of Gondor, Lord Boromir. There wasn't a particular reason why I was dreading him, it was just the fact that the me he saw in Gondor and the me he'll see here will have a 180 phase difference, or so he'll perhaps think. That is if he'll remember me. But with my luck, he'll not only know that I was there as the maid of Lord Dervorin when we first saw each other but also the next time as a Lady Companion of Lady Cathiel that was escaping with books and was breaking about all of their moral (ahmsexistahm) rules. He didn't know my story and it was a large chance that he'll wonder what a maid from Gondor was doing in the homely house of Elves, more prominently as a student of Lord Elrond, and a friend of his greatest soldiers. Also, why was I getting an invitation for the second time by the Lady of Light herself? (That I wondered myself)

I had looked back at Arwen with a small smile and when she realised that the concern in my gaze was directed at her expression she tried to hide it all under a mask of courtesy.

"Lady Lanette," she started and inclined her head towards me as she looked on to the preparations unfolding before her. I traced her gaze, looking at the elves rushing about, preparing the hall for a great feast, pinpointing the location of Calyniel as she gave orders of her own (being the head of the guest regulation authority, it seemed, if that was even a thing). I waited for her to continue, "I hope the days are treating you well."

"I have no complaints.," I replied, a polite smile stretching across my lips. Arwen seemed to find this amusing as for a moment her eyes held mirth when she replied,

"You never did seem to,"

I chose not to reply, my spats with her brother Elladan coming to mind and bringing a giggle up to my throat as I nodded.

She paused for a moment,

"Can I help you with something? " pointing to my appearance in the hall and I just shook my head, albeit a bit sheepishly,

"Oh, Nah," I replied, waving my hand, "I was just here to find Calyniel but I guess she's busy." My sentence ended with a shrug and Arwen gave a small smile. Her eyes shifted to Calyniel, who was busy in the corner and shook her head,

"I think she'll appreciate your company while she keeps busy."

Biting my lip and wondering why I just couldn't have my quiet exist, I gave Arwen another smile and decided to keep her company. With an incline of my head, I replied,

"Then I'll leave you to it." and was just about to leave when her voice cut across the buzzing Hall,

"Lady Lanette, you shall be sitting at the main table with us." her tone was informative as if she thought I knew what she was talking about but I just stared blankly at her head,

"What tables?"

For a moment I saw surprise flicker through her eyes and the next words came out calculated, in a way that she couldn't believe me,

"The feast today.," and then a gasp, "Don't tell me you don't plan to be here."

I barely held my face from contorting in frustration. I was planning to catch up on much-needed sleep today. The words of Gandalf and Lord Elrond had a soothing effect and it felt nice to know that they were aware of my fears and were actively doing something about them. I was sure that today, with the reasonable peace of mind and lightness of heart I'll be able to sleep normally and this had been avoiding every elf I knew lest they asked me if I was coming, except Calyniel, she always let me do what I wanted,

"Ah this feast. " my words felt dragged out to my own ears and the laugh I gave was half anxious and half tired. Looking back at Arwen, I tried not to let her aura effect me, which was proving to be extremely difficult.

"Well, Um, I'm feeling a bit lethargic, as in under the weather so I thought I might skip..." I trailed off at the sudden clarity in her expression, as if she was searching for something and had just foxing it.

"Are you avoiding someone's company?" her words were cautious, and the step towards me felt even more so. I had a feeling that she felt like I'll bolt for the door at any moment, which was extremely tempting, I had to agree. Also, her question was partly true, I _was_ avoiding Lord Boromir who will be surely there, I could say with one hundred and fifty per cent clarity.

"I'm not actively avoiding. I just don't feel like socialising..." I murmured, chancing a peek at her troubled expression. All the internal war waging in me came to an abrupt halt as my mind uttered a tired fiiiiine,

"But if you insist I'll be there," I replied to her, returning the sudden smile on her face,

"But about this main table, will Calyniel be there?"

She shook her head,

"Only the esteemed guests," she replied, her voice holding an apologetic tint, "Frodo will be," she added as an afterthought as if suddenly remembering that I was there before Frodo's operation. I rolled my eyes at that,

"He doesn't even know me." I murmured, waving off her words, "Other hobbits too?" Perhaps if Samwise was there, we could at least make nice talk,

"They'll be a bit sideways."

That caused a surprised voice out of me. Wasn't this feast for them then why were they the ones not getting any protocol?

"Aren't they like the main guests?" I spoke out loud my thoughts, and the continued suddenly remembering something, "Wait! Why am I even sitting amidst the main guests?" Arwen looked as if to say that it was pretty obvious. When I kept looking at her for a plausible reason she looked even more surprised.

"You're the wielder of Anariel, a pupil of my father, a woman of the prophecy," With every other thing she pointed I felt my spirit draining down the gutter. All of the things being those that I didn't associate with myself at the first talk. Wielder of Anariel? By chance.

Pupil of Lord Elrond? Like so many others.

A woman of prophecy? I didn't even know why.

"I-" I started, the words failing in my throat. Arwen's gaze softened and a look of recognition passed through her face. A look that said that she understood my concerns well enough to be bothered by them.

"and a friend of my brothers." she finished, with a kindness that made me stare at her wondering why.

"I'm afraid I'll get the shorter end of the stick if I fail to invite you."

Knowing that she was talking about her brothers I felt a smile curling on my face, pure and unbidden.

"I've just known them for a while."

She shook her head. Her next words were those that I agreed with wholeheartedly.

"Some friendships take aeons and yet cannot deepen beyond simple friendliness and some friendships span across a few months and completely change a person." A string of memories came to me, Memories of my time before coming here and after, while evolving with all the people I knew here. The feeling was warm and self-sufficient was engulfing and so pleasant that it made me forget my worries, if only for a moment.

"They do."

Now as I stared at Calyniel's back as she strutted busily and left me alone to dwell In my loneliness, I remembered my conversation with Lady Arwen that had happened just a few hours back and wondered how many hours I could've saved if I pretended to not hear her. Even if I was going to get dragged to the feast then these few hours of preparations could've been saved for a nice nap. I would've perhaps also felt rejunivated rather than ready to drop dead at moment's notice or to make someone drop dead at a moment's notice.

I swung the chair forward, dropping it to its legs a moment later and ignoring the loud creak of protest emitted from its legs. My half-asleep state was disrupted by the voice of Calyniel and I jumped up at the sudden attendance,

"Don't!"

 _"What the hell man!"_ I said, my voice so loud that all the business of the hall dropped dead for a moment. With my cheeks burning in embarrassment and a half-lidded glare in Calyniel's direction, I uttered an apology and waited a moment until all the working was again aflow.

At Calyniel's insistence, I went to freshen up and dress with an instruction to be down by the evening. With three hours in my belt, I took one long look at my comfy comforters and dropped dead on them, pleading with my subconscious mind to wake me up before I'm unreasonably late.

I thought that I was past nightmares and perhaps it was true too because even though I started to have the dream that always spelt the destruction of Gondor, it felt different. I wasn't there like before, I wasn't there to see the destruction enfolding but rather I saw myself on a cliff far North, lazing with a bottle of red wine and looked past towards the grand structure of Minas Tirith as it was torn down to pieces. There was something calm and serene in my expression and even though I could hear the screams filtering in the back of my mind I felt peaceful. Their faces, bloody and bruised, becoming pale with their every last breath burned on my lids but vanished as I took another swig of the drink, the taste burning down my throat. The wind blew sharply, the cold days of December dawning into a frenzy of snow and I drew the cloak tightly around me. Suddenly there came the sound of footsteps and the next thing I knew was the bottle falling from my grasp, a scream coming shrill from my own throat and I woke up with a start.

With the recent dream playing in the back of my mind in a fuzzy sequence I wiped a shaky hand over my wet forehead and shivered as the cold breeze swept in from the crack in the window. I tried to remember what I saw but the details were too fuzzy and I felt disoriented with the continual lack of sleep that my head throbbed painfully. What I could remember was my peace of mind at seeing the death of all those that I held dear in Middle Earth and that thought was much much scarier than seeing those God-forsaken nightmares straight from hell. Still, I had a promise to keep, I reminded myself and despite the stone settling heavily in my stomach, I got up to get ready, trying miserably to forget about the dream.

Looking myself over the mirror and making sure that I was not missing anything, I looked back at the hourglass draining sand through the small cervix. It was a little over the time but seeing as I was not exactly the woman of the moment, and knowing the people that would probably inquire about me were still out there scouting the perimeters I lazily adjusted the collar, pressing down the embroidered coat, ridding it of imaginary creases. The coat, the jewellery and even the boots were the same that I had worn a while ago. The v neck shirt and the pants were of thicker material to fend off the heat but still, I felt the cold seep into the bones and couldn't even press the coat around me in the fear of ruining its embroidery. Running a hand through the top knot I had made and making sure that the kohl that I had used as a thin eyeliner was not smudged, I pressed my hands to the face, hoping to not appear as lethargic and went on my way.

I could hear the main hall brimming with life from more than a courtyard away. The lights were on full display, shining through the windows of the hall and there were elves filtering about the outer gardens. My steps slowed on their own accord and I ran another hand nervously through my hair making sure that the bangs stayed put in their place. I wondered if I should've worn some sort of dress, to not draw the attention of the guests but the fact that there was a human woman in the land of elves, alone, with no visible companions, was perhaps already too eccentric for them so it was better to not even pretend that I was from Middle-earth. Squaring up my shoulders and mustering up the courage that I had when I first appeared in Middle Earth I moved into the doors. The dinner was not yet set, but the hall was alight with laughter and happiness, all the people mingling around the spaces. From the corner of my eye, I saw Arwen, dressed in her finest with a delicate tiara on her styled hair. She gave the aura of a princess and I wondered whether I was supposed to greet them like all the other guests. For a moment I stood there, by the shadow of the door, taking in the scourage around me until my gaze, quite abruptly, connected with Lord Elrond. He stood by his daughter, his face set in the dignity befitting of a king and the stance as firm and courageous as a warrior, yet his face appeared kind and welcoming and I passed him a smile before he was taken up by some other elves, that appeared to be out of town.

I followed the movements of a few people until my gaze was drawn to the main table, where the guest was already converging. Gandalf met my gaze with a wink in my direction and I nearly rolled my eyes at his carefree demeanour. Every time I saw him(which was not that much) he did seem like a person who would be popular among children for inventing fireworks and magical stuff and he wasn't far from a person whose coax of adventure could stir someone's sleeping spirit to wake with a spark. Tracing the table, my eyes fell on the few elves, Lord Glorfindel in their midst. Next to him sat the Prince, all regal and royal in his fine robes of silk, with a circlet adorning the top of his golden mane. I was a bit shocked to find that Lord Glorfindel appeared more similar to the Mirkwood elves than those of Rivendell and somehow the Prince seemed to be a small reflection of what Lord Glorfindel already was. I had been studying them for too long as the prince's sharp instincts made his eyes snapped towards me. He looked astonished when his eyes made contact with mine and I had to avert my eyes when I saw deep curiosity and question lingering in his intense gaze, too different and foreign than the detached and polite ones I had come to associate with.

Looking down the table I saw Frodo taking his place next to two dwarfs, one of them stood up to greet him, his short stature loaded with expensive jewels that glittered under the dim lighting of the candles. The other one, the dwarf that I had seen outside of Lord Elrond's library sat beside them, listening intently to their conversation but choosing not to partake. Instead, his eyes roamed over the figures of the various elves, a look of distaste and anger lingering over them as his eyes passed the Mirk wood elves.

I looked on as Lord Elrond moved with Lady Arwen to take his place and I saw out of the few seats that were left my location was a seat down from the Prince, just opposite to Lord Boromir, who had just quietly slipped in. My steps halted and I cursed in my mind whoever had made the sitting arrangements but could do nothing but ignore the surprised looks as I took my seat exchanging a polite greeting with Lord Glorfindel and his companions. I barely saw the Prince incline his head, his eyes boring into my skull from the opposite direction. Instead, as I leaned back to let the elf serving the food have access to my plate, I looked up just to see two eyes fixed on my face, both bearing curiosity and astonishment, but one was leaning more towards companionship and one towards recognition I wanted to avoid.

It was quite obvious as both of them stole glances, The prince's gaze wandering over to Lord Glorfindel now and then who was politely engaging all the guests surrounding him. Sometimes his gaze flickered back, wondering whether he should say something and I gripped my fork tighter, knuckles turning white in frustration at the stifling silence.

Halfway through the meal, Lord Boromir's gaze stopped wandering and he stared unabashedly, his eyes wide in recognition and the fork hanging limply in his hands. I knew that he had recognised me and I was extremely thankful when he chose to not say anything reading the social cues. The meal, the long and dragging hour of it, ended and Lord Elrond let the people to the Hall of Fire. All the guests were supposed to follow him and I begrudgingly held out until the guests were dispersed into circles, chatting and laughing among themselves amidst the soft lullaby of the elves. The flame flickered, its light that had felt menacing to me yesterday now, in the presence of such a crowd, shimmered with a warm glow and I stood to the side, staring at the flickering flash of it. A glass of red wine, too thick and intoxicating was held in my hand and I swirled around the liquid, not exactly feeling in the mood to get drunk. That is why I chose to just stare at the liquid, for I knew that just a cup of this special wine was enough to get me drunk. This stuff was nothing like what I knew of the drinks back home.

My eyes flickered around the room and somehow I couldn't help but be on the guard, constantly looking around to see where Lord Boromir was. Sighing in relief as I saw him caught up in discussion with the dwarves I took a few steps back towards the door. It was my strategy, to move back a few steps time and at last to just leave towards the peace of my room.

Suddenly, my eyes made contact with Prince Legolas, who was just moving towards his group of people. He stopped a few feet back and turned to look at me, his brow furrowed in something akin to frustration. It wouldn't have mattered to me, what the said Prince was feeling or thinking, had he not given up the company he was supposed to get to but was instead stalking towards me with determination in his step. It was rude to turn around and flee when I had seen him approaching and he wasn't exactly a person I needed to flee from, he was just a curious person that I wasn't in the mood to indulge but I _could_. If I could last those few hours in the stuffy Hall, I surely could last a conversation with a trusted elf of Lord Elrond.

He was just a few feet away when suddenly, my arm was pulled and I stumbled on my feet. Barely keeping my balance, I looked up to the face of the intruder only to come across Calyniel's face, bright with happiness and longing.

"They're back!" She whispered, her breath hitching with excitement, "They returned from their latest scout."

At that moment I forgot about Prince Legolas's Crystal gaze fixed at my back and as I left the hall in a hurry, I was oblivious to the two looks boring into my back.

One taught with curiosity that it barely quelled and one taught with astonishment that it barely contained.

* * *

 ** _To be continued..._**


	24. (PART-II) Chapter 23: Many Meetings I

**A/N:** Hey there beautiful! Hope that everyone is happy and blessed. I know that I've been uploading much later than usual these days but with hardly anytime to spend on even sleep. I hope you guys understand and thank you so much for your patience and continuous support. It's because of you guys that I actually find the will to complete the chapter every time. :) :)

 _ **MissCallaLilly:** Haha, then I gotta add those escapades for you. Hope you continue to love the story. Enjoy reading! _

_**Dr Zimmerman:**_ _the thing about the ships is that they're a mystery. Even for me. But I think that I've planned it out well and am in the process of incorporating the scenes because it started as a no rom fanfic. You'll just have to wait and see the surprise ;) Hope you continue to love the story. Enjoy reading!_

 _ **Tibblets:**_ _The maybe element is too strong in some instances. Hope that you keep enjoying!_

 _ **tshong ma I:**_ _The second part of the fanfic is officially off now. Enjoy reading :)_

 _ **JJAndrews:**_ _Your wish has been granted (... Sort of... Okay a little bit but there'll be more to come) In the meantime I hope that you enjoy!_

 _ **Luna dans le Etoiles:** Thank you so much :) Hope that you continue to love and enjoy the story! _

_**Thank you to all those who favourited or followed the story -**_

 _ **Hope that you all Enjoy the chapter! RR.**_

* * *

 **Chapter 23: Many Meetings (I).**

Entering into the wings of Elrohir, we were greeted by the fast pace of Aragon, leaving by the door. He spared a look at us and with a fleeting smile left the area, his troubled eyes making me falter. I hesitated a moment before pushing into the room, with Calyniel hurried steps following in my wake.

Their conversation halted at the sudden interruption but before Elladan could open his mouth to comment, Calyniel was caught into an embrace with Elrohir. I shook my head at them, happy for their joy and instead focused on Filvendor. Masking the relief at their safety, I pouted over at him,

"You're still alive." I drawled out, shaking my head in mock disappointment, all the while ignoring the subtle roll of Elladan's eyes. The grin that etched on Filvendor's face was fleeting before he arranged his own expression in solemnity.

"Sorry to disappoint."

"How come you all are back so early?" my question was met with the same exchange of looks as I had received before and the sudden spark of irritation bubbled on my throat. Huffing out, I rolled my eyes,

"Fine don't tell me."

Filvendor was just about to comment, perhaps to dissuade the hostility I was feeling when Calyniel's voice cut across our conversation,

"Filvendor, Lord Glorfindel has been waiting for you in the Hall of Flame. Gwestofiel and Teralin are present along with the guests from the East."

With a weary heave and a promise of later conversation, he departed through the door. My gaze shifted to Elladan and he as if realising my question, inclined his head,

"We are to leave again at the morrow."

I wasn't that successful in hiding my disappointment and the fleeting sense of fear that always engulfed me at the promise of the unknown. So rather I shifted my eyes across the room, which even after knowing the guys for a while now, I've never visited. My eyes fell on Calyniel and Elrohir and Elladan's voice mirrored my thoughts,

"Let us-"

"Yeah." I finished for him before moving out. The soothing yet chilled air of the autumn night filtered across the hallways as we walked towards the gardens. With the elves in the Hall of Fire and the general public hoarding the great hall, the peaceful abode of Rivendell was quiet to a lonely extent. I felt as if it suited the theme of autumn, the lonely quiet and the increasing sense of foreboding and a walk with a friend that reeked too much of another long goodbye. My eyes shifted to his figure, trekking beside me, his hands clasped regally at the back and head tilted a bit towards the heavens, the shine of the moon highlighting the strong line of his jaw. His eyes traced the sky until they met my open gaze and our pace shortened to a halt. His eyes that were for a moment confused closed forlornly that I wondered what was displaying on my face. The earlier irritation had long vanished and now the tears of frustration burned at the back of my lids, making me realise how inept I was that I could do nothing but stay here safe and warm in someone else's land while they had to scout out every day. Every moment of their life marked with a question of what if. Every new adventure showing them the very dark edge of this world. I blinked back the frustration, my eyes for a moment dropping to the grass beneath our feet but the magnet of his look brought them back up to match the silver gleam of his own.

Trying to change the atmosphere I trodded on the first subject that came to mind, which coincidently was their departure,

"So, you guys are going to leave so soon."

"Our work is cut out for us," he said, a moment later. I could see his eyes working out a response and the defeated sigh as he decided to let my despair drop, for which I was ever grateful,

"I'm guessing something happened." I murmured, not expecting a reply.

With the things as they looked today and every bit of information, these three were trying to hide from me, I had to wonder whether what I knew was too much. How to tell them that I was aware of the lore that Lord Elrond had written, with his own hands and had saved down in the library. But most of all, how to tell them that I knew of the deception of the one ring. From the heartfelt letter of Eugene to the things that I had seen with my own eyes. All of that was jumbled up in my mind and I was still struggling to come to terms with the world as all of them already knew.

The breeze picked up, and I tightened my coat around my figure, wondering whether I should've brought the cloak. Looking around, my gaze fell to the area that we were in and for the first time I realised that it was the Tarwa Zair, the abode of love and heartache as called by the elves of Imladris. The life and times of Lord Elrond and his wife, their tale of beauty, compassion and love associated with every petal that bloomed here and the tragic end to that beauty still made the air heavy with its magic. There was something different about the valley of elves, their feelings and imprints were so deeply associated with each place that even centuries after their absence the world still reeked of their essence, proving warmth and solace as in Hollin, or longing and heartache, with a promise of reunion as in this garden. Ironically, today, with a heavy heart and buzzing mind, both of us ended up in this area despite our consciousness.

Sparing another glance at Elladan, whose eyes now held a sadness and longing that was always associated with his past. I moved to face him, putting a hand on his arm and felt his muscles tense as he regained his composure. I would've sighed a month ago, at his ever-present need to make himself strong, but now, even though a sadness bubbled in my chest at that, I accepted that as something he needed and let the subject drop.

It was an hour of pure silence as we sat on the grass and I leaned my head back at the willow, rising to the moon. There was something nice about his company, a sense of comfort and safety that I had associated with home, or perhaps it was just the sweet scent of the nightengirth, which made me drift off into a slumber.

I woke a while later, with the night still as dark as when I had slept and had to apologise to him for keeping him from his dinner. He laughed at my embarrassment, a rich masculine sound that I had not heard before and trying to hide the smile on my face I swatted at his arm before instructing him to get up and follow me to the small dining area associated with the kitchens. The food was abundant today and at the hour of the night, even the kitchens were quiet and empty, providing enough safety for me to broach the topic I had been toying around with.

I contemplated over the information I knew as he engrossed his meal. Perhaps I shouldn't, I thought but the idea was soon squashed because I wanted to hear his side too.

It was when we had already left the kitchens and our conversation had dried into silence that I found the courage to mention the topic.

I looked around once and leaned forward and then back to see if someone was around, but this near the waterfall not many were allowed to venture. Elladan raised his brow at my sudden movements and I hushed him when a smirk fought its way to his face.

"I saw the one," I said, and the effect was prompt. The smirk dropped off his face and the sudden intensity of his gaze touched my expression. He still remained quiet, though, tilting his head for elaboration, "When I was trying to treat Frodo."

His eyes widened a fraction, in a realisation that I wasn't playing here. I knew that people wouldn't know of its strength and malice until they had seen it with their own eyes and I was sure that even Elladan hadn't yet.

"What did it..." he started, his voice taking on the same detached quality that I had learned to hate.

"What can it show?" I snapped back, stopping his inquiry mid-sentence. The words worked wonders as he seemed to find the answer himself and the cold stone in his eyes softened. He inclined his head in what I knew was an apology and I could do nothing but nod along with him.

The silence that was not long ago nice and companionable was now taught with a strange anxiety and tension. I shifted on my feet, my eyes now fixed on the shimmer of the waterfall as the rays of the moon lightened its surface.

"Why does he need it? The ring, I mean."

"His strength, his power resides in it," he replied and his answer brought back the memories of the nightmares. I saw the moment when I gave him the ring and that mistake played over and over until I felt sick. It could've been like that, something in my head said, had I not been in the hands of the better side.

Shaking my head, I tried to rid myself of these thoughts,

"Then what are you going to do with it? Surely, you can't keep them here, with all the things lurking about."

"It needs to be destroyed." he said with a finality that was fearsome, "It can degenerate only in the deepest depths of Mount Doom."

"Mount Doom." I murmured, the map of the land filtering across my mind. I started when I realised what he was pointing to, "Are you _kidding_ with me? How are you even gonna get there?"

He looked into my startled gaze and there was a deep contemplation in his expression. As if he already had already been thinking over this problem.

"It is not impossible."

I snorted at that. Remembering the battles that had been fought at the borders of Gondor, seeing all the people taught with worry whenever their loved ones returned, always dwindled in their numbers, I could say that this was a million in one game. To go to the heart of the enemy territory, while bearing the tinker that the enemy needs the most, in an effort to destroy it without the dark lord's knowledge was foolhardy. Even in my own noob eyes.

"Yes but, to go that deep into enemy territory. You'll need at least an army." I said. His expression did not change and I digested the thing he was referring to,

"The war is inevitable. No matter what becomes of the ring now." His words had a domino effect, with my stomach perhaps, as I felt sharp pangs of anxiety hit my abdomen, one after the other. I tried to maintain nonchalance, and spoke, trying to hide the vibration in my tone,

"When?"

"Soon enough."

The thing that terrified me about the war was, that even if I was dead scared of the bloodshed, even if I've heard it only on the news and even if I would never want to see it on will. I knew that I was going to be there at the spot. The future that Lord Elrond saw for me, and the fact that I had always stopped moving was perhaps something that had scared me and now knowing that me staying in Rivendell meant death inside the valley, I had the will to move on, to be productive and to make sense of the prophecy that was laid out for me and to do that I needed to do, which left me back to square one, much to my frustration.

"You know of what Lord Elrond saw of my future, right?" I asked, suddenly remembering the suspicion I had. He looked at me and a look of wonder passed his eyes. At perhaps the fact that how was suddenly aware of all the things that I perhaps shouldn't be,

"He said that it was all when I stopped moving of my free will. So perhaps-"

"You should stay here." his voice, suddenly cold and tense, cut across my sentence. I looked at him in surprise, wondering how he was saying that after the knowledge of the foretelling.

"What?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. I didn't know the reason for the shift in the mood but there was an anger and frustration in his gaze that made me step back in surprise.

"There is going to be a war fought at every front. Rivendell is going to be the safest place of them all." he continued, a moment later, jaw still locked in place and eyes looking far over my head onto the onslaught of the waterfall.

I couldn't help but huff in annoyance.

"You know what he saw for the third future." I started, trying to get his eyes to make contact with mine, "Rivendell is the last place I want to be right now."

"It is the safest."

"Safety is the last concern of mine-"

"Well, that is why you ought to stay here." he snapped. His eyes flickered to my face, and I took a step back in surprise at the fierce look that had settled there, "leave the war to us men."

In the past two years in Rivendell, there had been many looks I've got, many scoffs I've heard and much constraints I've felt but this was something that fell as a slap of cold reality to me. Perhaps, the friendships and all the days spent in Rivendell had dulled my mind of the true reality of the steps I wanted to take. I remembered the sentence that Eohere had first said. That all people will not be as open minded as him, that me being who I was was something people didn't want to take seriously. I remembered, suddenly, where I stood on that social ladder and was filled with depression and indignation. The anger that bubbled in my throat was nothing short of pure rage and I gulped in a gasp of air, trying to pacify the effects.

"Elladan." I started but my voice was too sharp, the words gritting out of my teeth and Elladan realised what had ticked me off. He sighed, as if tired of some long fight, and replied,

"I don't say this because I don't trust your talents. I say it because you're a-"

He halted his words and looked at me as if he needed to say no more.

"Complete that sentence, Elladan" I spoke and this time my voice was calm to a frightening extent, " _I dare you to_. I'm a what?"

Something twitched in his expression and for a moment he looked to be unsure of his comments but it was too fleeting for me to care or for it to make a difference.

"We both get the gist."

"You don't perhaps." I snapped back. Inhaling a sharp breath I looked up into his eyes, the two pale orbs shining in the light of the moon.

"I'm not just a woman, Elladan. I'm _Lanette_. Lanette Anderson."

He opened his mouth to say something but by now I was not in a mind to listen to his tirades.

"I'm-"

"I'm _me_. The same person you've been training and making strategies for the past half year. Out of all people, I thought that perhaps you three won't hold me back on that front." I finished and took a step back from him. The silence that extended was painful and I had made up half my mind to just turn back and let him be,

"Look." he started, this times his eyes were softened and held perhaps a bit of desperation that I in my anger couldn't see.

"I don't say that because I think that you're weak."

I scoffed at that, crossing my arms in front of me,

"Then what."

He heaved a sigh in frustration and for the first time in my stay in Rivendell I had seen him so unsure and desperately short of words. One of his hands ran through his hair in vexation, messing up the straight bangs from their neat place. For a second his jaw tightened and when he looked back at me the determination in his eyes was staggering, all of his expressions mostly were. Perhaps that is why he was not usually expressive because when he did express it was intense and a bit of breathtaking.

He took a step forward, his long stride covering the few feet between us and I had to lean back to look at his height.

"I just. I say that because-" his tirade, frustrated and desperate was cut off by the voice of Lady Aria. She stood a bit sideways, her gaze curious and irritated, was shifting between us. It must've been a sight too, I realised belatedly, with the dishevelled (for elves) appearance of Elladan and the flush of anger coating my cheeks.

"Lord Elladan, your dinner is served."

I took a long breath and stepped back. Enough to put a respectable distance between us. He had already eaten but none of us had the heart to speak the fact, the words of his still stuck to my mind.

"I'll leave you to it then," I said. My voice was clipped and cold, much like he usually was and I saw the effect this had on him. Lady Aria was leaving, albeit slowly down the corridor and I made the move to go down the opposite direction. Elladan's hand shot out at the last possible moment and the hold on my upper arm froze me in place. In the light of his recent comments, the look that I have his hand was fleeting and hateful and he dropped it as if it burned my flesh.

"Don't. I beg your pardon if my words made a wound." I listened to him, all the while looking at the many expressions displayed on his normally stoic face. The irritation still bubbled in my throat but his desperation made me bite my tongue. My mind drifted back to the society that I was currently in and a small part of me knew that the fact that I was even allowed to be myself was my luck because like majority of the womenfolk of Middle Earth I could've been strained in a house, with or without my will and I perhaps wouldn't have anything to do against it. The thought dwindled my anger like a cold fountain until the only feeling left was a sense of disappointment that destroyed my mood and a stone of dread and loath that settled in my stomach.

"Let us not part ways in such a mood at a night that might not be achieved again, for a long time," he said again. His eyes probing for an answer. That sentence brought me back to the present and the thoughts of war that I had forgotten during this little spat were again magnified. I sighed and after casting another disappointed look his way, nodded my head. My gait was hesitant as I followed him down the path to the Hall of Flame and my hand on his arm stopped us in the middle of the hallway. The laughter and rumble could be heard not far from where we stood and he waited patiently while I collected my thoughts. I took one look at his apologetic expression and spoke again

"Look, Elladan." I started, ignoring his intense concentration at my words, what I knew was his way to try and patch things up,

"The thing is not that I want to jump into such trouble. I feel this to be a duty despite myself."

At that, he looked surprised, if just for a moment but I continued regardless the words tumbling out of my mouth, one after the other

"I'm more learnt in this art than those mere children that will be forced to fight. If they are going to be there, cold and taught with fear, yet standing resolutely against the forces then I can too. No, then I must too."

Elladan's face turned towards the sky, his eyes tracing the path of the stars and the next time he looked down there was a strange expression in his gaze,

"This world isn't your duty, my lady. Not yet anyway."

"I want to make it," I replied. Remembering the promise that I had made. The hurdles I've faced and all the sacrifices I had made for this world. The faces of all my loved ones shifted across my mind, blurred and not so clear anymore and I felt the pang of longing, something that left me sad and dizzy. I had given up so much for the people of this world because I had seen their kindness and compassion all along the way. So now I couldn't see this world crumbling in front of my eyes when I could stir even one leaf for the safety of this land.

"I promised myself that I will stay happy. That I'll grow old and weak and when I look back at those memories I will be looking at a life well lived, not a life wasted in fear and solace."

Elladan's expression turned thoughtful. A look of defeat passed his gaze but he smiled, nonetheless how strained that expression was,

"War is just another name of heartache."

"Then let's not cause each other heartache which the war will provide enough," I replied, raising my brow for the effect.

"I didn't mean to." he murmured, his face hiding all the emotions swirling beneath his lids and I wondered what he was thinking for saying all that today. What was wrong with him that he was acting so strange today?

"Yet you did. I ask not much, only that you respect the decisions I make for myself, by myself." I said finally, catching up to his pace to the Hall. He smiled at that, a genuine smile that extended to his eyes, the same smile that softened the hard planes of his face so much that I Had to return the favour,

"Respect is something that you've earned a long time ago."

I chose not to comment as the lights and sounds of the great hall engulfed my senses and instead made out the face of Filvendor as he pointed us over to the crowd.

* * *

The next day dawned bright and the cheerful warmth of the sun was dulled by the chilled breeze, rising with each day. A day of the council, I thought as I laid in my bed staring at the ceiling above. Filvendor and Elrohir had been surprised when I had told them of the ring and it was because of how much I already knew that they were willing to reveal what they had kept hidden. My mind drifted to the council, that was inevitable today and the sudden fear that coursed through my body caused me to wake fully and get out of the bed.

I was halfway towards the great hall when my paths met with Filvendor. He took one look at the worried set of my shoulders and whisked me away to the kitchens instead of the place I was opting for.

Our conversation was light and uninterrupted. We spoke of the times before and everything and anything that didn't pertain to the war raging around us and for that I was immensely thankful to him. Not long after settling down with a vegetable sandwich and a cup of tea was I laughing along with his exaggerated tale and had the chance to tell him of the embarrassing situations that I had previously been in.

We finally caved when the cook gave us another look from under his lashes and decided to meet in the grounds for the practice that I had been lagging.

By noon I was dirty, sweaty and tired and the cool breeze of October did nothing but to rake chills through my body. Smacking Filvendor on the chest, for his ever-increasing smirk, I decided to take a nice warm bath and meet those three for the dinner. The change in Filvendor's gaze was unsettling and a feeling of uncertainty passed my senses knowing that they'll probably be leaving soon. Still, the conversation with Elladan rang through my brain and I couldn't help but lt groan. Why did he have to make the things awkward between us at such a moment? These were not the times for friends to be uncertain around each other but it was something that I couldn't help, this rigidity whenever I saw his face now.

Dragging my feet through the courtyard, close to Lord Elladan's study I wondered if I should borrow some book. I shook my head at my own thoughts, my thoughts wandering to the pile just by my bedside. I was halfway across the courtyard overshadowed by the balcony when I heard the voices from the balcony above. Belatedly I realised that this was where the council was taking place. Despite my better judgement, my feet carried me closer to the area. 'It's in my way!' I told myself but couldn't help the racing heartbeat as the voices became clear enough to be heard.

"... The nine, the seven and the three, each had their own gem but not the one... "

I listened into the story of Gandalf for a while, my back resting against the pillar and arms crossed over my chest. My mind raced with each and every word, trying to connect it with the information I had garnered already.

Suddenly the conversation took a defiant turn and the words uttered by Gandalf were ominous and powerful, much like the ones I had heard from the ring. The sky darkened and the heavy air that settled around caused my mind to race back to what the ring had shown me. The blood and gore flashed across my lids and I gasped in desperation. Slapping my hands over my eyes, I strained to hear Lord Elrond's voice as it cleared the atmosphere and returned the semblance of peace in the abode of Rivendell.

I straightened and hurried away, not looking back a fraction, the guilt of hearing things I perhaps shouldn't have prevalent in my mind.

* * *

The day passed slowly, with the hours dragging past until we three, minus Elrohir, sat down in the table amidst a painful silence. The fork scratched across the china as I dragged the half eaten food across my plate, looking at the alert figures of Filvendor and Elladan from the corner of my eye. A painful stone settled in my stomach, making it hard to swallow the salad resting on my plate.

My talk with Elladan was put at the back of my mind, the magnitude of his words becoming minute in the light of the recent events. I couldn't help but let my anger melt away as I passed another look at their hands, curling so hard around the cutlery to make their knuckles white. My wandering gaze met with that of Elladan for a moment and couldn't help but stare, wondering what that multitude of emotions ringing in those chilled orbs meant. It always annoyed me, how I could never tell what he was thinking, despite how well I wanted his emotions to be displayed openly. Filvendor broke the silence, mumbling in his anxiety and in an effort to hide it. Not trying to show, how obvious he looked, especially when he ran his hand messing up his elegant bangs more than once, I braved a small smile as I listened to his Tirade. Elladan and Elrohir were to follow Aragon in a mission that they were pretty subdued about. Filvendor himself, being one of the favourite soldiers of Lord Glorfindel, due to his knack of emergency strategies and ease with which he could carry through with turbulent times, not to mention his skill in the art, was travelling beyond the mountains towards the forests beyond on the insistance of Gandalf. I raised my eyebrow at that, wondering how they'll be travelling the path there and back again before the end of the year when it took me almost three to just go across the one side. Filvendor laughed at that, the tension in his shoulders easing and his hand reached to mess up my hair. I slapped it away, with a pout of my own and couldn't help the smile extending on my face as I saw the lines of hardness ease a bit from Elladan's face.

It took not even an hour for them to saddle their horses and stand huddled together in the courtyard, about twelve of the best, as Lord Elrond spoke his farewell, warning them of the dangers they might face and against the turbulent shadows that were inevitable in their paths, his gaze lingering for a moment too long on Elladan, enough to make his jaw tighten in anticipation.

The look, however, was shortlived and soon they walked with the horses to the end of the valley, in even smaller groups than they began with and I sat on the steps of the cottage, in which I had once treated Filvendor, the presence of so many of them making it fine to traverse this far into the boundaries of the valley without a weapon.

Goodbyes with Filvendor and Elrohir were not easy, I had much to say but the words were tied on my tongue and I gulped down the array of emotions bedazzling me at the moment. So, l instead settled for a hug with both of them and let Filvendor mess the knot on the top of my head. His hand instead of the sharp ruffles he did once, patted down my hair and lingered a moment too long that I had to look up at his face. The strained look he gave me was anxious and for once I wanted to smack the smile off of his face, the one he always had to prove that things weren't serious, especially when they were.

I turned to Elladan the last, for he and Elrohir had to leave at the end with Aragon and for a moment we stood in silence as we saw Filvendor's scout turning across the plateau and vanishing down the mountains.

"I hope that-", he started, his voice a bit strained and jaw tightening in perplexity. His orbs traced the path that the riders vanished down a few moments before, his eyes looking everywhere except into my own.

"It's fine." I finished for him. Waiting for the silence to extend a bit more.

"You were insensitive. Yes, but can I really blame you for it?" I said, my voice inquiring with myself and knowing that I just couldn't see him in a bad light because of this, I shook my head, "No, I can't."

He opened his mouth, perhaps to say something about it when a lingering look of mine stopped him, "Drop the subject Elladan. It's not important right now."

These words were the most successful ones yet in shutting him up and for a second his gaze softened, perhaps realising what I was feeling and for the next twenty minutes we sat in companionable silence and I gave them a smile, strained and perplexed but still a great attempt, as their backs vanished down the same road.

* * *

For the next few days, I could only think of the shift in the emotions of Elladan's gaze when he had turned to look back, just before turning and vanishing for another long time. For the first time, I found adoration mixed with the fear and desperation in his gaze and I found that more perplexing than most things in the monotonous life here that I was spending.

But that monotonous life was soon disrupted when I was practising my sword practice two days later. Swinging at the air in front of me, I huffed at the lack of response, threw Agnaria near the tree and leaned back at the bark. The breeze was strong, and the cold colliding with the sweat on my brow sent chills through my spine.

After a while of rest and with the increasing restlessness of something to do, I broke away the parchment from my journal and begun scribbling down all the information I had garnered about the situation by now. The journals I had read in the library, the things that I had heard from the council and those that I had the chance to come across. The reasons why he wanted the ring, the reasons why it was so dangerous and the effect all it would have on the middle Earth. The war that was brimming on the horizon and the scouts that were being sent out. The people of the world uniting yet no help to Gondor from Rohan.

All the information, the bits and snippets of what I knew rang across my head until I wasn't aware of my surroundings anymore. Hunched over the brown leaf of my journal and trying to connect all the dots desperately, I couldn't help but groan in annoyance. Just when things began to make sense somehow they did not. All this talk about the power and significance of the one ring, the army of orcs, the dark power and magic were still so superficial that half of my heart didn't just agree with it. Even though I had felt the malevolence of the ring and seen its power with my own eyes, even though I've felt the magic filtering across the room when I had met with my prophecy, still sometimes my heart and mind just couldn't agree with what it was. Just like I was in a big dream waiting for someone to strike me awake.

"It's queer how heart is not willing to believe what it sees in the front." the voice of Gandalf, low and amused brought me back to the present with a snap. I turned with a gasp, a hand flying to my heart as I saw his eyes twinkling down at my aghast face. But before I could say something, the look turned serious and he continued, his words making my eyes drop to the grass crunched in my free hand,

"I'm sure you felt the power of dark and light yesterday."

My eyes traced the pattern, the guilt of that encounter eating up my stomach.

"I didn't mean to" I mumbled in a small voice. He stayed rooted, the silence becoming thick and suffocating and I felt the words tumbling out of my mouth themselves.

"I know that things are spanning a bit too out of control but I was wondering what I was supposed to do," I said, hoping to convey my honesty. Because in the past many months, that is what I've been truly trying to do. To make out what I should do. Or perhaps what I can do to help.

"Trying to make sense of the prophecy," he mumbled and I nodded my head, looking at the sky stretching beyond him.

"It never makes sense until it happens and then it's like everything's again in the open," I replied, my words mixing with an absent air as my mind drifted again to what I was doing before. The silence stretched for a moment and I again snapped to the senses as the smoke of the weed filtered up my nose.

"A company to leave with the ring?" I asked, my question, so abrupt that it even caught me off guard. I took a look at the curiosity filtering across Gandalf's expression and continued, knowing that perhaps I was digging my own grave.

"Is that what's gonna happen?"

His eyes, for the first time, focused on the journal open in my lap and with every passing second his eyebrows raised a fraction. I fought the urge to cover the scribbles with my hand and wondered if I would look suspicious if I ran away right now.

Instead, I opted to explain, stumbling and tumbling over my words to make things comprehensive,

"No one was willing to keep it, and you wanted it destroyed and Elladan said that it can only be destroyed in the depths of Mount doom but you aren't willing for an army... "

My voice trailed off in an awkward whisper and I could do nothing but peek at his stony expression from under my lashes,

"You are more perceptive than I gave you credit for." he finally replied, after what seemed like an eternity and I hustled to come clean,

"I didn't mean to snoop around"

He looked as if he didn't even want to believe me but opted to not voice his thought leaving me more guilty than before.

"Who'll be in it? The fellowship" I asked, realising that perhaps I was too deep in the Marsh for my own good but the curiosity lending my tongue a mind of its own.

He looked at me and perhaps saw the challenge in my eyes. For the past two days, I had done nothing much productive than to think and then over think over every look and voice that I had seen or heard and to say the least I was pretty damn sure that the ring was still with Frodo.

Gandalf gave me a sharp look, his eyes stony and boring into my soul as he next spoke,

"Frodo will be carrying the ring, Samwise is his loyal guard. The rest.. ." he finished his words by stroking his beard,

"And the war? "

"Gondor will fight it." I gasped at that. My mind drifting to their dwindling numbers that I had seen more than a year ago. Gondor to fight alone? It will surely fall. Especially without their beloved captain...

"Alone? That's impossible."

Gandalf's brow taught with worry which he successfully hid a moment later and I asked the thing that had been bothering me for a while now.

"Rohan won't help?"

"Rohan is long taken by the darkness," he replied. His expression for once held a touch of sadness, enough to make his company realise that things weren't promising at all.

"But you need to alert them."

"Their king won't listen, it's a gamble to go there not knowing whom to trust."

"But don't you know the people there, surely you can!" I replied. My voice rose in frustration and I struggled to get hold of my heart that was pattering thunderously in my chest.

"Those times have long gone when I was a friend of their house."

His tone held an element of regret and a touch of finality that ended the interrogation on the tip of my tongue.

"There are things that demand my attention much more than the war."

"Trust..." I murmured a moment later, my eyes tracing the lines of my hand that was twisting in my lap,

"Can't I do it?" I asked suddenly. The idea that was suddenly in my head didn't seem ignorant anymore.

Gandalf seemed to disagree, for his expression turned sour and twisted in disbelief,

"Child what talk is that? Who do you know in Rohan to say such."

His voice was loud and commanding and he continued his tirade as if dealing with a child that he can't just come to terms with,

"There need be someone from the higher members of the court, a person whom we can trust, who could be the bearer of the secrets and a prompt responder ."

I waited for him to take a breath, the idea still filtering across my mind,

"I went to Rohan with a ranger." I started and hid a small smirk as I saw his eyebrows raise,

"He was a man of Rohan, dressed in the garb of rangers."

Gandalf shook his head at that, leaning back on the tree and letting out a long draught of smoke,

"A ranger is not someone who'll have the power to dissuade the men of Riddle Mark. And no nobility will have the heart to listen to the tirades carried by a foreign woman. You might be burned at the stakes with how it is going"

His words were harsh and uttered in a tone that spoke of no-nonsense. Making Elladan's words again filter across my mind. I bit my tongue to help a snark comment and instead focused on what I was saying,

"But a Lord from amongst themselves would be, perhaps. A soldier, a leader from within them."

That coaxed a surprised look out of him and he sifted his head to stare straight down at my eyes. His expression was kind and fatherly but with a quality to not cross him but his eyes, looking straight into mine seemed to know the very thought filtering across my head.

"Who is this ranger you speak of?"

"I don't know much of him. I did travel with him I mean but I wasn't aware of his nobility till the day after we parted ways." I replied, remembering the information I had got out of Ehara once we both had parted ways. Irritation still bubbled in my throat at the mystery of the man I knew so much of and still nothing of importance. It was laughable to think that I trusted him, still, with my very life but didn't even know who was truly the person that I trusted.

"A ranger that is of nobility." he murmured and took a long swig letting another draught escape past his lips. I nodded at his words, continuing my explanation,

"Enough to be called Lord by the people. A bachelor among the ranks of the Riddle mark, I hear."

"Eohere Freeman, he called himself."

Suddenly a look of understanding passed through Gandalf's gaze and when he murmured Eohere's name, his voice was mixed with an element of formality that left me surprised,

"I see."

"Perhaps I can transfer your message to him if I find him not taken up by the darkness." I offered up again.

"I won't be the one suspected to carry out the deed, for he out of all know that I'm not of this world."

Gandalf still shook his head, looking above at the birds chirping at the latter branch,

"Times are not so for a woman to travel alone."

"Times are not so for you to discriminate on gender." I huffed, my voice snapping in annoyance. He shook his head impatiently and I tried to make sense of the words I was uttering,

"I travelled from Gondor to Rivendell on my own, not even a year ago."

"Times are darker now."

"And I'm stronger," I said, my voice taking on a seriousness that even I was surprised of.

"This is something that perhaps I can do Gandalf. We both know that I wasn't supposed to just stay in the valley."

"I just can't," I said again. The desperation was visible in my voice and I stepped forward with a hand on my chest, probing him to listen to my words, with my plan solidifying in my mind.

"We cannot allow this in normal circumstances." he started a moment later, his head tilted in thought.

"But the world hasn't been normal for a while now." His eyes looked down at my tense figure and a twinkle, light and mischievous found its way in that gaze.

"Eohere Freeman." he murmured again and then continued in a much serious tone, "Allow me to ponder on this a while. There is nothing to be done until the fellowship departs."

"I hope that you can think on it well. I'm more than willing." I finally caved, knowing that he'll make the decision taking in all the odds.

"But are you more than ready to partake in this!" he asked suddenly. The air became taught with a dark energy, the area darkening in the wake of his tone. His ringing voice made me take a step back and I looked up at his domineering figure, my heart suddenly pattering in my chest,

"Are you strong enough to carry yourself, alone, in face of such danger to Rohan. Are you trustworthy enough to be allowed for such an ordeal?"

His eyes bore into mine and I gulped, blinking back the frost that had taken over my mind. I looked down once, to settle my emotions, and by the time I stared back, my voice was free of the anxiousness I was feeling inside,

"I might not be strong enough but I am unimportant enough to pass through the shadows. And I might not be trustworthy enough but I've got nothing to gain."

"Not even a life back there," he asked, an eyebrow-raising for effect.

"The fate was sealed a long time ago," I replied, remembering that fateful day and closing my eyes at the sudden onslaught of painful memories.

Gandalf departed without further ado, his voice ringing in the air behind him,

"Fate plays itself in thin lines, vanishing and reappearing in the minute notice of a second."

I listened to the words and my heart sank a bit more. It wasn't until his back had vanished from my line of sight did I find my voice again.

"Fate is all I'm clinging too, Gandalf. All I've placed my hopes on here." I murmured, hoping that the air filtered my thoughts before they even reached my own ears.

* * *

The days continued to dawn and before I knew it a week had passed, amidst encounters and revelations that perhaps would lead to friendships strong and long, if proceeded accordingly. Bilbo, being extremely worried and suave was trying to make this month or two exclusive for us all. Or perhaps was just trying to remove his worries, who was to say. Just three days after the council I was dragged down with the hobbit to the balcony where Bilbo had arranged a huge second breakfast, and despite my voices of concern about already having eaten, I was shushed and my plate piled with delicious biscuits whose aroma left all my concerns wavering. That was how I was actually introduced to the hobbits, all of them looking surprised, yet no less respectful and the conversation flew well among us. Bilbo, being the eternal host he was, took it on himself to lead the talk, disclosing even the stories I had told him before, with me contributing a few words here and there. Altogether I stayed on the sidelines, my eyes shifting amusedly between Merry and Pippin as they recalled a tale from their stroll down the old Berrywort's farms during one spring night.

It was after the conversation had settled to an amiable silence and all the goods were almost eaten off of the plates that I excused myself from the bunch, with a smile of promise to finally tell Merry how I came about to Rivendell. Halfway down the corridor, I was stopped by Frodo, his small frame scurrying behind me. I looked at him in question, again surprised at the depth of pain and turmoil I saw in those sky orbs of his. He looked young, a teenager even, until one got to look into his gaze and saw all the pain hidden behind a veil of cheerfulness that left the one observing sad and with a bitter taste in the mouth.

"I heard what you did for me, I sincerely thank you, my lady, " he said, as he caught up and I couldn't help but smile at that.

"I didn't do much Frodo. You should thank Lord Elrond if you feel the need." I replied, keeping a companionable smile on his face. His eyes dropped to the ground for a fraction and for a moment, perhaps tingled with the shadows falling across his face, he looked to be old, tired and a deficit of all the life and joy on the world. My expression softened at that and I nudged him with my elbow, ignoring his surprised look. "Though with the pain you're carrying you perhaps don't even need that." I said, and continued a moment later, with a smile directed down at him, "You're much stronger than you believe Frodo."

The smile that he gave me was genuine, the one that makes you feel that perhaps you've done well in this world.

"Bilbo was right," he said, a moment before turning around and going back towards the three fellows that were waving to him to follow them, "you do have the ability to make people trust you." and I could do nothing but state at his back as it vanished down the corridor, surprised but no less pleased at his words.

* * *

The next day passed painfully slowly. My mind was continually filled with the conversation with Gandalf and his lack of positive response. The crawling hours and the calming abode of Rivendell gave me enough time to go over whatever was happening currently, not only in my life but also around me. I knew that the biggest priority of the time was to diminish the danger of the ring and for that the fellowship, whoever those poor people will be, would have to leave in the earnest but the fact was, that while they all did the deed secretly, the world wasn't going to stop rotating on its axis. No one would wait for them and the forces of the enemy will bear down on the people with bigger force than they had shown before. People were now aware of the two very clear-cut sides and they were starting to take the side that seemed to be benefitting to them so it was pretty inevitable that while the fellowship went about for the ring, the war brimming on the horizon will break out.

I remembered the few months that I had been in Gondor, and while my eyes were fixed on the domestic problems and the purpose with which I went there, it was pretty impossible to ignore all the effects of the war. Even with the festivals and with the celebrations of victories it was impossible to overlook those tears that fell in the remembrance of the fallen. It was impossible to forget how every celebration was tinged with the sadness of death, the fear of destruction and the stress of annihilation. The way Lord Dervorin had looked, every time he returned from a meeting with the Lords, or how my few encounters with Lord Boromir had left an impression of not only royalty, courage and passion but also of a deep-rooted hate and fear in the depths of those silver orbs.

With that, I was damn sure that Gondor, when fighting a full out war, with the brimming forces of Mordor and Dark Lord's Allies, will require all aid that they can attain. Rohan being the first on the list of that list.

I could see the point of Gandalf, that no Lord will ever listen to the news carried by a woman (no matter how much I despised to think like that), and if even Gandalf was not welcome in the Halls of Rohan, then any message from him would also not be welcome. I perhaps, by doing this will be signing the certificate of my own death.

But there was this ringing sensation in my head, the voice at the back of my mind that told me that I needed to leave. That I must go to Rohan and find Eohere. The world was changing rapidly and people along with it but even though it has been almost two years since I last heard from Eohere or saw him, even though I did not know much about him, there was this sense of trust that I couldn't help but associate with him. People had instincts and even if I didn't feel like trusting mine most of the time, now I was perhaps sure that he, Eohere, wouldn't be the one to turn against the truth and wellbeing of life. There were different people in the world and some of them, those that bore all the pains and turmoils of this world and turned out to be kind and compassionate, those kindled spirits were not the ones to exploit people's pain and destruction. And Eohere, in that memory of him sitting by the fire, surrounded by smoke and lost in thought as the moon shined on those tinged ocean orbs was not the look of hate but of peace and compassion, of a man in terms with nature and with a love of all things pure and impure.

That was why perhaps I was sure that if I got to find him and if I made him listen to some sense he would be will willing to help. Everyone knew that Gondor was the stronghold of men against the Dark Lord and the fall of that one wall meant the inevitable fall of Rohan at the hands of both Mordor and the swirling lines of Isengard. Eohere being the ranger and warrior that he was, would perhaps be the best option for that. He was not too caught up in the politics of Rohan, at least not until I had known him, and he would be the one most likely to choose sense over some twisted sense of fidelity with the king that was lost to the deceit of enemy, as Gandalf had said.

Looking back at the time, I had told Eohere's name to Gandalf and the sudden look of thought that had overtaken his expression, I somehow felt they Gandalf knew who Eohere was and perhaps he was not expecting me to be aware of him. That look of acceptance was enough to make sure that Gandalf knew and accepted Eohere as a good enough candidate.

The only problem, as left, was the fact that it was _me_ who gave the idea. The thought, of a single person, a _woman_ at that, travelling across the misty mountains towards the decaying society of Rohan, alone in such turbulent times would be ludicrous to anyone at that moment and I felt that Gandalf thought the same.

I couldn't help but groan in frustration, slamming my hands down on the table and making Merry jump in surprise, effectively cutting off the tirade he had been on with for half an hour now. I gave him a sheepish smile, a moment later, as I came about my senses and focused my eyes on the lunch sitting untouched in front of me. The great hall was nearly empty today, with the time is not yet appropriate for lunch but with the insistence of Bilbo to not fill up the head with the gibberish that makes your hair turn white and with a polite inclination of Frodo to eat with them, out of politeness or as thanks who was to ask, I had followed them to accompany their lunch group.

Bilbo threw a worried glance my way, his eyes probing to ask what was the problem and I, trying to act natural and not wanting to divulge my fears when he had his own worries to think about, excused myself from the table.

The outside air was chilled, a contrast from the warm environment of the Great Hall and I drew the short coat around my figure, the one that Filvendor had gifted to me a few months back when I had explained to him what type of clothes I would miss the most from my world. I was taken by a pang of loneliness as I missed his company terribly and couldn't help but stare at the pale leaves falling from the trees, a feeling of loneliness eating me up from the inside.

It was surprising, how we had come together in such a short span but I found soon enough that he was a person I could connect to the most openly, someone who could probe anything out of me and in front of whom I was not scared to lay bare my soul because the compassion in his eyes reflected that he thought the same. We had never actually said it, how easily we connected or how many secrets we knew of each other or how much we cared for each other but some things were just self-explanatory and I felt that every time we met again, words were not necessary to convey what we were feeling when it could be felt with one look, or hug or even messing up the knot that I had on, most of the time.

Instinctively, my hand travelled to the blob of hair resting on top of my head and I stopped myself, willing to snap out of this feeling of helplessness and moping that I had taken on for the past few days.

Realising that I had stopped my studies midway, I made my way to the library, hoping to take my mind off from the matters for a small while. My stay in the library was short lived however and after taking a scroll from the shelf I decided to extract the effect of the plants mentioned there and made my way to the wards

The crisp air of the autumn mixed with the scent of the hospital made for a professional environment that I felt the most comfortable in and before long I was rummaging through the numerous drawers to find the right herbs for an antiseptic I had been experimenting with. Knowing that we needed a bit of the modern medicine and if I was to make a difference in the war then I needed to see the effect for myself so I can help in the medical ward with the command over the medicines of the middle earth, perhaps providing my own touch to renew their effect. It took me a few hours to concentrate the mixture into a thick paste and I was quite glad of the effects. The anaesthetic effects of the heartwood, mixed with the healing effect of Kingsfoil and the antiseptic effect of Penicillin, which after search and search of months I had found to be called Chrymantical here and had to convince Lord Elrond that it had effect in the medicinal field as more than just a fungus.

With the prompting of Lord Elrond I had taken to experiment with the stuff because, with all the knowledge that man had, it was so easy for him to not even test the drug but still know the effect the mixing of the plants would have. Or sometimes he took the testing to himself and I got the report, a full-fledged with all the detailed effects of the drug, but not one semblance of knowledge where he tried it on.

"This looks the most promising out of the ones constituted till now, my lady" came his voice, cutting sharply across the quiet still of the lab and my heart nearly jumped out of my throat. Placing a hand over my heart and wondering how I could go to deliver the message when I was being such a scaredy cat in front of the person I needed to convince of my talents, I settled for a small nod.

His gaze, perceptive and with a hint of curiosity, turned from the inspection of the paste to my face and a look of understanding passed his features. A moment of silence stretched and suddenly, I was asked to follow him to the hill where he cultivated his weeds. We stopped near the end of the patches, where the vegetation was scarce and the grass, now grey and cold, was waving in the soft breeze. There was only one plant, that was shrivelled and dried up, perhaps in the welcoming of autumn and I couldn't help but stare at the back of Elrond, wondering why we were here in the barren area.

Moments passed in silence and I couldn't find my tongue to say something.

The sun had already set, and the slight hues were fading into the purple of the evening when the flower before us seemed to come to life. Its shrivelled roots developed without any means and within moments the dried mess was blooming into one of the beauties of nature, its strange petals glistening in the diluted rays.

I gaped at the plant and at Elrond's back while he still stood looking down at it.

"Heratwreath," he said, his voice soft and proud seemed to mould with the cool breeze, "a plant with the ability to lend life or suck it out in a mere moment."

I stared at him in surprise, the wheels in my brain churning to find where I had read it and gasped when it finally clicked,

"Is this?"

"A plant, merely whose essense makes the heart beat, for a whole day. " he completed the sentence for me. His head tilted a bit backwards and I came to stand by him, looking curiously at the delicate petals. My mind was not yet willing to accept all the magic that I had heard about it.

"I thought that it was a myth." I murmured, squatting down to take a better look. The scent of the pale lilac was engulfing and intoxicatingly sweet, a scent that could lull the man into the abode of evil due to its beauty.

I leaned back when I head Lord Elrond shift to walk back, again towards the library and left my position to follow him, wondering why had he wanted to show it to me.

"It is a plant that I had seen only once in my life. During the days of adolesce that I cannot remember well enough."

I cast a surprised look his way, taking care to steer clear of the patch, my ears trained on every sound he made.

"It has always been thought of significance, a plant signalling life, hope and prosperity in exchange of a huge responsibility." he then stopped to look at me and I wondered where he was getting to.

He just looked into my eyes, a thoughtful expression on his face before he said,

"It is a plant you should study the effects of, Lady Lanette, there need to be people who can use it when the time is right." and without hearing another word, he turned and left me gaping. Wondering what the heck was happening. What was this secrecy and why did he bring me here, only to stay quiet and to give me even more details to overthink about, I shook my head walking back to the library, in hopes to take up his advice and get all the scrolls that explained about Heratwreath in his personal library.

I was just walking back from the library with two scrolls in my hands when my paths crossed with the one person I had been avoiding quite effectively for the past many days. Lord Boromir's head, buried in a scroll, with his brow furrowed in concentration and his hands clutching the paper a tad bit too tight, strolled through the hallway. I quietened my steps and was thankful to see that he hadn't looked up and just as I was going to congratulate myself on the stealth, his head snapped up and eyes trained on mine, the intensity and anger melting away into surprise and curiosity. I gave him a small smile, with an awkward nod of the head and was about to carry on my way when his inquiry stopped me in my tracks. I turned to look at him, wondering how did I always end up in such twisted situations,

"Miss, do I-" he asked and was interrupted mid-sentence by Merry bouncing on his feet and waving as he ran over,

"Lady Lanette!" Merry called jovially and I held myself back from smashing my head against the marble pillar just by my side. I wanted to avoid the Lord because he didn't know who I was and he had seen me working there in Lord Dervorin's home as a maid. I didn't want to explain, how a lowly maid all the way from Gondor could've found her way to the Last homely house of elves and was staying there, not only as a friend but a student of sorts of Lord Elrond. Also being a person with status enough to be called a lady. Because even I did not know why I was called this, when I had nothing to contribute to my name.

Lord Boromir's gaze intensified, his eyes travelling between the approaching visitor and my taught figure and I tried my best to ignore the question situated in them,

"Bilbo asks if you'll join us on the tea this eve_" Merry was saying but suddenly stopped as he saw Lord Boromir standing beside me. His gaze went between us and as if suddenly coming up with something gave a sheepish smile,

"Oh a company, I'll come later to hear your response."

My heart dropped a bit at that and I had just called out to him when his steps, too quick to be normal, carried him around the corner and out of my sight,

"No, wait. I-" my words died on my tongue and I cursed him for his cunning. Inhaling a sharp breath I could do nothing but turn towards the man in front of me.

"Lord Boromir," I said as politely as I could muster and inclined my head. He looked thoughtful for a moment before the expression was wiped out by one of professionalism as he replied, "Lady Lanette." His greeting was without any compassion and seemed more of like a cold command and I realised that this was the first time I was actually talking with the Lord. All of our encounters were ambiguous and I was surprised still, that he had the ability to remember me. He took a step forward and inclined his head to the path spread out before us,

"There are things I must ask, if the time perhaps is right with you," he said. The deep baritone of his voice was smooth but rough at the same time. Formal, of a man of royalty but with the coldness of a strong headed warrior and a passion that reflected his leadership in all he did. I wondered whether I should make an excuse and bust away but knowing that things only got worse if left to sag I nearly sighed in defeat and nodded in confirmation,

"I see. Of course."

We walked for a while in silence and I couldn't help but click my tongue as it dragged to become painful. I didn't know what it was about today but suddenly there were no words and the silence of the moments that conveyed to me a deep sense of wanting to just crawl in a hole and combust, just to escape this awkwardness.

I stopped the pace, as we reached halfway through the courtyard. There was no one around, in our sight and if he wanted to talk then it was the right time.

"You should ask away, what you want to ask." I prompted him and he turned to face me, a sudden flash of emotions passing through his intense gaze before it became solid again, reminding me a bit of Elladan. His stoic, nonchalance was changed into the intense command, that stood in front of me in the form of Lord Boromir and my gut told me that it was not off to a good start.

He took a step forward and shrivelled up the distance between us into a companionable one. His hands were clasped at the back and the head a bit tilted as he looked down to face my height.

"There was a woman of Gondor, of the house of Lord Dervorin, I once saw." he started, a challenge brimming in the deep rumble of his tone with his eyes continually staring into mine to gauge the reaction. I was proud of myself when my face remained cool and passive and I inclined my head as an indication for him to continue, relishing the spark of annoyance that shuffled through his expression,

"A maid, that climbed the ranks to become the Lady of the house, soon enough." he continued, "A lady, whose name bespoke much concern for Lady Funaria for the rest of the winter."

He finished his words with a slight frown and I coked my head to the side, acting out a look of pure innocence,

"I wonder if she really was a Lady of Gondor." I murmured in reply, a moment later, seeing his expression change into one of curiosity barely tied with courtesy to not delve into a stranger's matters.

"I wonder who else she would be."

"Perhaps from the West," I said, my voice sounding more like a suggestion.

His brow raised at that and he searched my face for something before shaking his own,

"Her colouring, her attire and accent didn't match those of the Rohan."

"You never had a chance to be with her, to know," I answered. My voice held a challenge that I wasn't sure I was comfortable with igniting and wondered why I wanted to pick a fight so much today, perhaps the stress was really getting to my nerves

"But there were those under me that had to gauge something out of the people beside her," he said finally. And I felt my eyes go a bit wide. When leaving from Gondor I hadn't thought what would become of those that had helped me and looked at Lord Boromir. The nonchalance was wiped out and was replaced with a frown and a bitter taste of restlessness settled in my mouth,

"Even those might not know who she really was." I tried again, the calm of my voice teetering on the brink of breaking

"They truly didn't, perhaps. For they hadn't seen her now," he said again, looking pointedly into my eyes and I stopped myself from snapping at his darned majesty,

"I don't see how it is of concern to you, my lord."

His look of amusement was wiped out and suddenly he was serious and intense,

"A woman of Gondor is traversing in the halls of the elves, as a lady and an old companion. It makes it my concern."

"I'm not a woman of Gondor, my lord. Never was and never will be." I replied to him, my hand coming to rest on my hip. How bold of him to assume that I was his business, I thought. A huff stuck in my throat and I saw his expression change for a moment but couldn't decipher what he felt,

"You ask me to be blunt."

"Be blunt and honest rather than moving around in circles."

His gaze seemed to uptake the challenge and the tone of his voice turned south,

"What was your purpose that you had to rummage through the records of our warfare?"

"They were not just the warfare, it was the past of men I was interested in." My reply was prompt and clear leaving no room for dishonesty and as if he was expecting me to excuse, his eyebrows rose in surprise at my blatant acceptance,

"My reasons are mine alone." I finished.

"How do I know that you were not involved with the Haradrim to mark Gondor's demise?"

It was now my turn to be confused and I raked my brain to see if I had heard this word before. Nothing came to mind and I looked at him with confusion and a bit of frustration packed into the bunch,

"Haradrim?"

He looked astonished at my question but complied, his tone slow and careful,

"The people of the North. You said that you are from there."

Realising the trap I had fallen into, the wheels of my brain began to churn and I hoped that the panic was not visible on my face. Already too many people were aware of my dilemma and I didn't want others poking their nose where it shouldn't be, especially this certain Lord.

"I never said from there. I talked of the North of Bree."

"Bree is the topmost settlement of people. There are no nobilities that North," he said and there was something in his expression that left me stranded. Finding my voice I tried again,

"I never said that I was noble."

"Yet you claimed the title of 'a lady'" His reply was prompt and taxing, making me bite my tongue in thought,

"Titles can be for respect too." His eyebrow rose at that and for a moment he seemed to wonder at the meaning of my words,

"You've done something to garner the respect of the elves."

"I haven't done something. They are the people I live with now." I murmured, all the debate was getting squeezed out of me and I felt that with every word I was becoming more and more deficit in answers,

"It's been close to half an hour since we have started talking. Yet nothing you say reveal anything more than what I already know," he said after a long moment of silence, a note of frustration creeping into his carefully controlled tone. I huffed at that, giving him a dirty look before replying,

"That is because I do not need to reveal the things that you know not yet."

"Do you know what was the cause of the meeting yesterday?" he asked suddenly and the question was so out of nowhere that it threw me for a loop. My instinct was to look down in guilt and when I looked back up, his expression had hardened again,

"You say that you are not nobility yet you want me to believe that Lord Elrond would tell of the meeting to a mere _woman_?"

"I wasn't present at the meeting." I murmured in my defence although it was quite irrelevant,

"So tell me that I'm wrong when I say that you're aware of the details."

When I remained quiet he shook his head, a chuckle of disbelief passing by his lips.

"First an heir of Isildur and now a woman that has more say in this land than I do." he murmured, more to himself than to me and I could see his hands curling into the fist on his side.

"Heir of Isildur?" I asked in a tentative manner and he looked up with cold humour,

"So you're not aware of something too."

"Who's the-" I asked again and the look he gave me cut me off quite effectively. Of course, who else would be? The house of Lord Elrond was not exactly brimming with the _men_ of importance. The only one aside from Lord Boromir was _of course_ ,

"Strider. Aragon. Of course." I murmured, finally piecing together his importance, another aspect of the picture becoming clear to me at that moment.

I sighed at the look I was awarded, suddenly feeling drained of energy and words,

"Lord Boromir, it wasn't my intention to lie, and neither I did. Even though you must've felt otherwise." I started, hoping my voice didn't sound as tired and done with the world as my expression probably was. I continued still, hoping to clear up this mess and just leave, "There are things in this world that I don't know the answer to. There are people that I can't know all about."

"Of course the case is with you too." I said motioning to him, "I'm not a woman of here. I perhaps never truly will be." I said and held up a hand as he opened his mouth to cut the speech tumbling out of my mouth, "There are peculiarities that you've seen now. There will definitely be others that you'll see later on, for as long as you'll see me."

I shrugged then, appearing nonchalant and cold as I said,

"That is something I can do nothing about. But if you ask me to change myself to fit the description you men have of the women here, then I'm sorry but it's never going to be that way."

Suddenly all I could focus on was the taunts and words of the past week. The spat with Elladan, the jabs of Gandalf. The sudden anger burned in my throat and at that moment I could only see one man in front of me and he annoyed the rest of the sanity out of me,

"If me being here, irritates you so much then let's not meet ways anymore. The valley is big enough that it'll give both of us space to be ourselves." I snapped and turned on my heel, to leave him hanging like I've been played so many times now. Not for a moment wondering if my actions and words were irrational and directed at the wrong person.

* * *

He watched her back, disappearing in the cold autumn night, with her words still ringing in his ears. His indignation bubbled at the impudence but he couldn't deny the string of curiosity that passed his mind at her peculiarities.

A woman that wore pants was one of the things he never thought he would see but he felt that all those things were meagre because talking to her forced one to look at her gaze, that could warm into a bed of compassion or could burn with the intensity of molten lava. He was intrigued and strung, he would admit, to see a woman like her. A woman that showed to him something more than the demure and docile mannerisms with emotions hiding under a veil of submission as the ladies of the court preferred.

He was a leader, a commander and a warrior. A man who was used to being followed and the challenge he saw in the eyes of another human, of less regard than him, and of a _woman_ caused his blood to stir in surprise.

He stared long and hard at the space where she had disappeared into and couldn't help the smirk of respite that took hold of his features,

'I never said that her being a woman irates me.' he thought a moment later, his expression souring at her blatant assumption.

"You are more intriguing, Mis- _Lady_ Lanette, than people give you credit for" he murmured as he slipped into the shadows, following down the path opposite to where the woman had left from, his mind fixed on the way the eyes had burned in a ball of fire with the least of the sparks his words had provided.

* * *

 _ **To be continued...**_


	25. (PART-II) Chapter 24: Fireworks

**A/N:** I'm so sorry that it's been more than two months since the last upload. Time really does fly! Phew.

I've written this chapter amidst a huge writer's block and wasn't even sure of any line or word that I wrote. But think that it turned out well enough. Leave your thoughts :)

 **Important Notice!**

 **So now the story is taking off into the war and all the drama. I thought that it'll be impossible to tell the story right if there is only one perspective. So there will be POVs of many other characters intermixed. The example of which is the very first scene.** **The pov of Lanette will be the one that is in FIRST PERSON.**

 **Okies. Thanks for your time.**

 ** _LunaDansLesEtoil:_** _Thank you so much :) and well the ships are only gonna be ships if there is chemistry. Glad that you feel it. Enjoy this chapter too!_

 _ **Vita:** Thank you so much for your amazing review. Hope that you stick around to see where this goes! Enjoy this chapter too :)_

 ** _To all those who favorited or followed, you guys are true homies._**

 ** _Hope that you all enjoy! RR._**

* * *

 **Chapter 24: Fireworks (Many meetings Part 2).**

T. A. 3019 was the year Merry found his best chance to make friends. It was also the year that he worked hard to ensure comfort, among the people that he held dear and some that he _wanted_ to hold dear.

T. A. 3019 was the year Pippin hit the lowest, the year of foolhardiness, of recklessness and of decisions that left some, if not _much_ regret.

The year when Cathiel discerned the bitter realities of life and Brinielel lost the small swarm of courage that had held together their kindred and all those that were slowly losing their paths.

It was the year Eohere found the true essence of his courage and the willingness to go to the deeper depths of peril for just a single person.

The year when the sea spoke out to Filvendor and the meaning of love solidified for Elladan. While it was the year when Elrohir's heart was torn yet his bravery was tested. It also was the year of glory for the inimitable twins.

It was also the year Arwen was tested on her love and Aragorn on his devotion. Boromir on his loyalty and Sam on his bravery.

The year when Eowyn found love and realized that true courage was never only to rebel. The year Faramir lost of all what was pure, and the year Eomer had his heart torn again and again, amidst a few deaths and the smile of a woman that took hold of his dreams and of every waking moment of his existence.

For them, it was a year of decisions wrong and strong, of impulses primitive and desires beyond their perception.

And perhaps it was the year when Lord Elrond had stood by the brooks, his sighs a bit too deep and stare dejected, as his mind whirled in a swarm of questions he himself couldn't answer.

It was also the year that Frodo had the worst exploit of his life and it was the year when all his dreams and desires and thoughts of his home (beautiful, peaceful, _breathtaking home_ ) left an aching hole in his heart.

But most importantly, it was the year when the world teetered on the brink of devastation and was held back barely to see the eve of salvation.

It was (most importantly) the year when the dark Lord _(finally)_ was defeated.

And it was the year when Lanette Anderson would remember the most in her life, the cavernous pit of possibilities and desires that had shattered in those brief battles as screams of helplessness echoed in the horizon. ( _But more on all that later_ )

But before, the month of December dawned, quiet with a hint of buzz that held everyone askew. It was a month of hopes, of potential, of prayers, of aspirations but it was also a time when friendships were tested, love had waned (and yet had strengthened) and arguments had ensued. It was also a time of goodbyes, of hopes and of promises to meet once again.

But most importantly, it was a time of advice, of new friendships to be forged, and of conversations that could warm one's soul or shatter it to pieces, for it was the month when everyone knew the answer to everything except the very questions they themselves needed answers for.

* * *

Meriadoc Brandybuck was an ordinary man (quite figuratively of course) but ordinary nonetheless. Nearing the age of thirty-seven and being the only son of the one Saradoc Brandybuck, his life, despite a few respites here and there, had decisively been quite easy and peaceful. With most of his free time spent among the ponies (with a rare breed being his pride and happiness) and navigating the green paddy Hills and the crystal blur of the streams gushing about the peaceful abode of Hobbiton, everything was peaceful and ordinary.

His life was tumultuous of ordinary, of nondescript decisions and stale life and no matter how defiant he seemed, he was quite in peace with these factors of life.

Which was why, he himself couldn't understand his decision to poke his nose into the matters of Bilbo _(that he could blame on curiosity)_ , or finding about the power of the One _(that he could blame on his imaginative power)_ or why he helped Frodo undertake an adventure that had bespoke trouble from the start _(perhaps He could blame that on his friendship)_ but for the love of his life, he couldn't understand his resolution to follow down the worst rabbit hole along with his friends, he just couldn't understand his willingness to undertake a journey as perilous as the fellowship of the ring, (that's how they've decided to call it these days). Yes, it was this decision that he couldn't fathom. What was there not to understand, you ask. Well, Meriodac Brandybuck was many things but most of all he was _ordinary_.

He did not stand out, he did things well but never well enough to be called a genius. He galloped while being one with the very winds but not well enough to be called a champion, he rowed a boat well but wasn't obsessed like his uncle. He loved the maps but he didn't hoard them like Bilbo, he was wise but never wise enough to be genius, he was swift but never enough to be agile, he was also brave but never enough to be courageous. Everything that had happened in his life had resembled some sort of normalcy, a mundane cycle that he had worked hard to keep. But now, _now_ his world, those long homely decades were being shaken at the very roots. With the uncertainty of the future dangling at the front and the fear of the unknown eating up his insides, he was suddenly not quite sure of what he was supposed to do. All his decisions felt impulsive, his thoughts childish and his fears full of cowardice until he felt closed up in his own thought. In the end for all the love he had for his friends, Pippin was a fool, Sam too devoted, Bilbo an old chap and Frodo...Well, Frodo was too caught up on his own verdicts.

So now as he sat with his feet, long and broad, dangling in the passing stream, the cool wind of December causing snot to accumulate in his nose, his heart sank at the realization that perhaps he had signed up for more trouble than it was worth. He, for a moment could see the tired and lanky figure of his father, staring at the door for the return of his only son like he had done so many times before and with guilt eating up his insides he discerned that it will be _years_ before he finds the ability to go back to the peaceful and ordinary abode of his homeland. With his feet covered in dirt and grime and the disapproving yet kind look of his father directed at him over the newspaper as the old figure got up to retire.

(Now that he thought about it, he had never asked his father to not wait up for him.)

Another moment passed and his sigh dissolved in the wind as the cold taunt made him shiver in his robes. He wondered whether he should not sit with his feet feathering the surface of the stream. The drops of the gushing water were freezing and caused involuntary goosebumps to rise along his arms. With his mind caught up in the recent turmoil that had led to his decisions, some of which he had made knowingly and some quite impulsively, he did not hear the sound of feet coming up his behind, neither did he decipher the little peek the woman had made and didn't even decipher the small sound she made at the back of her throat to alert him of her presence. Rather he sat with the knees, now drawn up to his chest and wondered at how this all mess might end and for once all the possibilities, his wise mind had come up with, left him stranded and no less fearful. His stomach did a somersault and he gulped down the fear, his eyes suddenly tracing the ground, the smooth frozen grass, until they collided with the bump of leather boots mashing up the grass by his side.

His eyes snapped up and he made out the kind (and pretty) smile of his companion. Her eyes stared down at him and the knowing look of her gaze caused something to be struck down his throat, forcing him to stare at the crystal water gushing about the grey mood of the weather, of that particular morning.

"Much on your mind?" she asked, her voice soft yet a hidden edge that he couldn't place. His answer was masked by his sigh, another one, yet again, and he shook his head. For a moment he found that he had lost his tongue, for, in the face of a person whose problems were perhaps greater, he found his own musings juvenile and quite a bit selfish. It was this reason that he turned his face down, his eyes boring holes into his mitted hands, suddenly finding the deep green to be quite mesmerizing rather than the lady by his side.

He remembered the tale that Bilbo had told him, of the home that she had lost and of the life that was blooming once more and because he was wise and because he was perhaps a bit of a cynic, he, rather than the awed silence of Pippin had given a defensive snort and had continued with his tale, the far fetched story at the back of his mind. He had gone over the map of Gondor, very detailed and precise he would have to admit. It wasn't until Bilbo had given the Lady credit for that masterpiece had he been interested and now after perhaps a month of knowing her and putting up with the eccentricity (of her or of her race he wasn't quite sure, for humans themselves were quite an eccentric race, he had come to the conclusion) he had believed her words and had developed a nice companionship with the lady. He found that she was quite a listener and an even better adviser. So he had found that perhaps a friendship with those whose feet were not long enough to be small paddies was not that bad and had developed quite a shy demeanor in the face of the blooming alliance, still struggling to believe the fact that this lady was a decade younger than him. Then again he supposed that the ages of men were not that long (a fact that was quite heart-rending, to be honest) and had still accepted her as someone whom he could look up to. With her exemplary skills in healing and sword fighting, while he remembered the day a few weeks ago when he had been lucky enough to peep into a session with her and that fair elf, Filvendor perhaps was his name.

It was this awe that had glued his mouth shut and he tried to ignore her eyes boring into the skin of his cheek while she settled beside him.

The cold of the December wind, the cutting edge of it appeared sharper as he struggled to place forth some thought. He found himself quite desolate, though, when his mind kept drifting back to the fellowship and the fear that had gripped his stomach was becoming nauseating.

"Are you scared?" she asked and for a moment he couldn't help but marvel at how she hit the nail on the head. His eyes widened a fraction and in the back of his mind, he thought that perhaps he should negate the fact but the forsaken words had somehow struck right in his throat until he couldn't even find the air to breathe. His eyes watered as he gasped and a string of embarrassment passed his gaze. It was soon suppressed when his eyes shifted to the kind understanding in her orbs and he found that perhaps his fear of being childish was the one thing that was most childish. "Sort of" he found his voice to reply a moment later, "perhaps I shouldn't be" he continued missing the furrow in her brow at his words, "perhaps getting fearful of the promise after making it is quite dishonorable." he murmured at the end, his voice trailing off in contemplation.

He had expected kindness, or pity or some more contemplation but nothing could have prepared him from the snort that emitted from her. He looked at her, surprise glazing his features and for a moment the flash of irritation across her face scared him.

Then she looked at him and he realized that it wasn't directed at him, for her gaze was still warm and kind and held the understanding that made his chest squeeze with warmth.

"you needn't be appalled by the fear," she was saying a while later, "it'll be more childish to _not_ be scared in the wake of such uncertainty. But remember one thing Merry, it is that you're not alone in this."

"There ain't one person in the abode of Rivendell that is not scared of what lies ahead, that is not uncertain of their decisions and does not regret their impulses." and then a smile towards him_warm and soft that elevated a bit of his troubles, "Just remember that everyone is here for you, right" she said and then as if remembering something, said something (short and harsh) in her other language and was soon out of his sight.

He stared at the place where she had been just a moment ago and couldn't help the sigh of relief that passed his mouth. Somehow he had not realized but the only thing he wanted was for someone to be there, and it was warming to hear someone speak the words, even though he might not hold her to those.

It was this observation, that someone was there, someone was present for him that made the cold bite of the December wind pleasant with the warmth of hope and he couldn't help the smile that bloomed on his gratified face.

* * *

Gandalf uttered a long sigh, that seemed to reverberate through the very bones of the old man and turned to face his only companion.

"Not as ludicrous as you've made it out to be"

Lord Elrond made a small sound at the back of his throat, which might've been a snort had his inherent elegance not stopped him midway,

"Sending a dysfunctional woman to carry out a task in these times will _not_ be considered ludicrous? But perhaps you're right, not ludicrous the, thought that is-it is downright hysterical."

And then he uttered a sigh as if tired of the world,

"Gandalf, the message might be important but it will not bode well to send her, and _alone_ at that! The times are dark and the roads ever darker. Sending a woman alone on such a venture, into the territory that has already been taken over by the orcs spreading across the lands in the form of a plague, is a tremendous gamble. One that we perhaps should steer clear of."

Gandalf stroked his beard, "The road will be tough," he said a moment later and the look he received from Lord Elrond was significant, "it is the reason why it should be her."

The silence extended as Gandalf sipped his tea. For once his hands itching for the weed pipe that he had left by his bedside. He waited for the wind to settle a bit, not bothered and yet waiting to collect his thoughts, "No one will wonder about a woman traversing alone towards the area she came from once. No- they _will_ wonder, it will be quite peculiar, but the people that will wonder will only do so after the message will be safely conducted."

And he paused for another sip,

" The orcs, on the other hand, although vile and gruesome with thoughts and actions dangerous enough to make the road unsafe for even the best of the soldiers, would be called to assemble, the moment the ring steps afoot from this safe. The danger of the Dark Lord is much more than attacking a woman that can easily slip by the shadows... if she's careful that is."

Elrond stared ahead, his mind still not accepting the facts, "And pray to tell if, somehow, the lady avoids _all_ the trouble, which is highly unlikely in itself, and gets to the Land of Rohan, _another_ possibility that looks improbable by the day, _pray to tell_ , who will be able to receive your message. Who will accept the words of a man that had been banished from their hall by the King that owns their fidelity? "

Gandalf was quiet for a moment, a faraway look taking over his mind, as it often did when he liked to stare into the smoke rising from his mouth when the grey wisps took the shapes and vanished into a bout of nothingness as the wind blew all the shapes into the past.

"She knows Eohere," and then on Lord's curious look elaborated, "a man of the rangers he is, I have known his family for generations and although I might not know him now I'm still sure of the fact that the man I knew about years ago, the boy that had evolved into a man in front of my gaze will not hold the warning in a small light. "

"He's a man you would trust, " Lord Elrond questioned a moment later and Gandalf nodded, another thoughtful expression, highlighting his wrinkles in the pale winter glow, "perhaps not with my life, but surely with the lives of his countrymen. "

And this was enough confirmation for Lord Elrond for in the times of destruction and gloom a person to trust was truly hard to find, "Although Lady Lanette..." his voice trailed off and for a moment doubt had taken over his face, an expression that not many in the world were privy to. Gandalf nodded, his voice now more calm and collected. He seemed taken by the suggestion with every passing second. "Lady Galadriel wishes for her to leave, in your vision you spoke of"

Lord Elrond shook his head, "the visions are indecipherable in certain peculiarities. It might've been something other than that, that I was to be warned off or perhaps it was nothing at all."

"How many times had the lady been in your visions without a reason? Besides, we are sending hobbits with no previous experience, no power to protect themselves on a task that requires much more strength and courage."

"Courage, yes, the courage they all have in spades," Lord Elrond murmured, the fight in him leaving. Still, he carried on with his explanation, "yet the ability to fend off orcs and still deliver the message successfully requires much more than that alone"

Gandalf nodded at that, the lively twinkle for a moment flickering in his eye, "much of which the Lady has in spades, I'll say."

"she's the only option that is probable now."

"Sending your generals or any elf would be too striking and a gamble. Aside from the rest of the fellowship, there aren't many that can carry your caution to the far west."

And then the Lord was awarded a raised brow, the bushy white of Gandalf's hair creating a sarcastic effect with his deep, knowledgeable eyes.

"Perhaps you feel that the heed is good enough to be carried by Gloin."

For that Lord Elrond had no reply. In the end, he sighed, the cold tea in his hands made his nose wrinkle in distaste and he set the cup down, China making a sharp snap with the saucer. It showed the distressed mind of the Lord and he seemed to undergo an internal battle, finally sighing and getting up in one graceful motion.

"It shall be you who informs the Lady of the decision," he said before moving out of the veranda and then stopped, his shoulders tense, but couldn't be known by those who didn't know the Lord well enough. When he next spoke his voice was clipped and the message short but meaningful,

"The elves will not be held responsible for her safety, nor what may befall her. No matter what _protests_ you might hear"

And Gandalf smiled at that, a small ironic pull of the lips but his eyes stayed cold as he nodded in confirmation.

For when you had the weight of the whole world to pull, as it teetered dangerously on the brink of annihilation, you could hardly keep the interests of a single soul in mind. That was the fact. Also, a fact that left a bitter taste in his mouth and the next time he saw his reflection while passing through the mirrored hallway on his way to the Lady, he felt as if another piece of himself had chipped away.

For him, the eyes that stared back at him were too alien and his heart too stony to be affected by the realization.

* * *

 _"The history suggests the evidence of a plant whose mythical, to an extent, properties, lend power to the thread keeping the life of a man connected to his soul. Although the suggestions were fanciful, they were not far from the absolute truth..."_

The light of the lantern, whose flickering flame sent shadows across the pale parapet. The scribbling of the Quill across the surface of the parchment lent a constant disturbance to the quiet surroundings. The rustling of the sheets and the pause of the pen for a moment before starting again, the strokes this time were mixed with irritated energy,

 _"Heratwreath, the flower that first bloomed during the battle of the Warring Clans, aside from bringing Revolution to the outcome of the battle was something that the people, taken up by their loss and changing tides of time, gave much thought to. Times changed and the plant whose properties had once lent about the power to fight just for one more day faded into a mystery as the world moved on in ignorance... "_

The pile of books scattered in front of me threw a silhouette on the table and the yellow glare of the flame mixing with the shadows lent a gloom the room. The languor due to the continuous Insomnia from the previous week was magnified and I could only blink my eyes a few times before going into the script once more, the constant supervision of the librarian lending a certain agitation to my demeanor. I couldn't help but wish that he would leave me alone; alone to wallow in my misery. Alone, so I didn't have to hide my weariness behind a mask of concentration and perseverance. Pinching my nose and looking at the notes scribbled on the page, I started on the scroll again,

 _"The Great was the war of men brought about the Curse of the Blades (of Agnaria) and the healer Gerabard rose from the exile to help their dwindling numbers. Their mortality posed a threat to the extinction of mankind and once again the Magical abode of Hollin bloomed into the starlight of Eldars with the settling Sun lending way to the blossom of the purple flower..."_

I stopped for a moment as the librarian got up, Sillvean was his name. He arranged the scrolls on the table and with a fleeting look at the rest of the library moved to leave. His calculated gaze stopped to survey my desk and the momentous mass on it and lingered at my hunched figure. I met his eyes with a small smile and what I hoped was nonchalance that did not betray the storm brewing inside. His mouth twitched for a moment as if to smile but I had not seen such emotion on his face forever and was not surprised when he departed with a nod.

I returned to the work in front of me, turning my mind to the same concentration that I had been retaining in the presence of the librarian,

 _"The base of the said flower was found to contain the starlight of the Eldar whose properties lent the magical power to the fleeting life of man. The essence of life, called so rightfully, could extend life for a day, not any more than those specified hours but not much more, their effect could be succor a life that required sometime or perhaps could even be used to prolong suffering for someone as was used to make Laoqdes receive his punishment, of a thousand nails through his body, for another long time. This effect-"_

 _"This effect-"_

I thought again but my mind ended up in a blank and all I could think of was the look of Gandalf, the one that was mixed with indecision and apprehension, hidden beneath a veil of indifference as he had told me of the news of their decision not even a week ago. The thing that had scared me, at first, had been the loss of dazzling twinkle of his eyes, the same mischief that had been there, hidden in the shadows, even when he had spoken of the ring, of the fellowship and the war that caused the people to teeter on the brink of human annihilation. It was this fact that proved that even he thought of this as a suicide trip.

"You should carry the warning to Eorlings after the fellowship leaves and the first embers of the war began to burn," he had said and I, without another thought, had agreed because it was a plan that I had planted and I was the one who had magnified it with my passion to just _do something._ Turning back on one's word was something that I couldn't forgive, especially for myself.

"In the situation," he had continued and I had looked at him startled "such that you feel it be the end, waste away the message." The message had rung clear and a sudden tension had hung in the air. He had lingered there for a moment, his old face looking tired and the eyes hiding a swirl of emotions that were too many to be placed. In the end, he had just nodded, his face set in stone and without as much as an encouraging line, he had left me stranded with my own thoughts. Something that was just not expected of him.

I had given it thought. I knew that wasting the message was important for if it was taken up by the orcs it could alert Saruman, the traitor, and if taken up by Eorlings can perhaps consign both me and the unassuming Eohere into the bounds of treason. But the fear of failure was something that had been looming over my senses for the whole week and I could only bemoan why I always thought of the ways I could end up, only _after_ taking up the responsibility.

I had pressed that I was stronger. Was I strong enough to take up even three orcs at the same time? No, I was not. I had been sick. I had been on the verge of death, I had been spent. I would have truly fallen to my demise if the luck had not been in my favor. If I hadn't seen the company on the last day, perhaps I would have never completed the journey. The recollection of those days, of vulnerability as the rain thundered down on my helpless figure laying in the wet mud and the fever burning through my veins. The fear that had gripped me when I had faced the orc. It had all mixed in my dreams and every night I woke up with a clamoring heartbeat and cold sweat glazing my brow. With my mind hammering with the disquietude of my own anguish and the yearning ( _the ache_ ) for my home that had gotten to me out of nowhere, the past week had been nearly hellish and I had projected all the free energy into the medical study and the application of Heratwreath. The constant work and the knowledge brimming over the surface of all the perceptions was enough to make the consciousness subside into the deepest furrows of my mind. It was only today when the first company had arrived, Gwestofiel and his companions, that my mind had also registered another detail. That I had to explain all this mess I had plunged into to Filvendor, Elladan, and Elrohir. It was this thought that had made the barely kept under the bay anxiety, surface again and the paper of a concise history and properties of Heratwreath that I was to finish today was pushed to the back of my mind.

To be honest, I was carrying a message for Eohere, to make him aware of the brimming forces of the enemy and the caution of the Council about what would be better. In the times of peace something like this would be taken up by interest but considering the fact that one could not even travel from Hollin to the gates of Moria without being attacked by hungry orcs, who's the only purpose was to raid and kill, it was an uphill task. Considering the dread that even I felt, I was sure that their reaction would not be positive. It was this thought, of convincing them that this was something that was _supposed_ to be done and if I could do this then I _should_ , that caused another headache.

I was myself trying to quench my fear and to make a game plan and the thought of someone cultivating my uncertainty was not a pleasant thought in any way.

I groaned out loud at the wave of pain in my head and pushed away the scrolls to let my forehead rest on the polished wood. The cool texture the table was a pleasant sensation against the ever increasing temperature of my forehead. I marveled for a moment at the quiet, and the sudden serenity of my surroundings. My eyes fluttered-

The bang of the door ruffled my mind with a jerk and I stumble to my feet, blinking away the blurred vision of the disrupted sleep. I opened my mouth to snap but the voice died on my tongue as I made out the figure of Filvendor.

I had known him for months now, and with the association that had not taken long to bloom into a beautiful friendship, we hadn't had one moment when things had not been casual and light. Understanding and concerned sometimes, even annoyed, yes, but _still_ not once I had seen such rage flickering through his eyes as I saw at that moment.

The unease surfaced in my stomach. Still seeing him safe and sound brought a grateful smile to my face and I took a few steps towards him,

"Hey-"

"Who gave the plan for such idiocy?" his snap, short and quivering with anger cut off my words and I halted in my place. The smile that had been strained for a while now bloomed into a sarcastic smirk and with another chance at lightness, I threw the jab.

"Well, good to see you too"

He looked torn as if he couldn't decide whether to snap back or continue but the look was fleeting and the anger in his emotions was too prevalent to look at much else.

"Who _was_ it?" he asked. He covered the distance with two long strides until there were no more than two feet between us. From this close, I could see the grey flickering ominously in the blue of his orbs.

My stomach lurched again and the bile that rose in my throat was unpleasant and off-putting. Perhaps it was the stress of explaining something that seemed too much like a suicide mission even to me to a person who will be dissecting even the best of the logic or perhaps it was just the sleeplessness catching up with me but whatever it was, the end result did not bode well. With a lurching stomach and a heavy heart, I looked at him, but my expression was too soft and tired and voice too calm and passive to lead to fighting,

"What are you going to do if you know?"

Looking at the series of expressions that passed his face I knew that he was thinking of persuading Lord Elrond and it was something that I didn't want to allow. Instead, I sighed at the irony and awarded him with a small pull of my lips, my face dry of all humor,

"It has been decided Filvendor, as something that must be done so just _keep it cool._ "

His look turned condescending and the sardonic pull of his lips seemed scary in the light of the anger barely leashed in his eyes,

" _Decided_?" and then a chuckle, that verberated across the empty room. The quiet sting of the winter lend another edge to his tone and I barely heard his words as another wave of pain hit my head,

"Decided by whom?"

The room spun in a vibrancy of oranges and greys and I looked down to not let him see this bout of weakness as this would only serve to strengthen his argument. When I didn't seem to reply, he continued with a sigh,

"I knew that the war was leading to the disconsolate conclusions but this is unexpected even _given_ the circumstances"

"It is the need of the hour Filvendor."

I sighed, leaning a bit towards the chair that I had jumped out of

"I did not ask you to describe the need," he snapped again, and when I looked up his eyes were scrutinising my figure; the disheveled hair tied at the base of my neck, the dark circles and lost eyes that stared at his burning orbs and the skin that had grown too pale in the winter storms,

"Who gave the proposal?" he gritted out. The pounding in my head and the stiffness of my neck seemed unbearable and my body burned In a sizzle of hotness. I gave another long look to his expectant figure and the calm in me snapped in annoyance,

"I did!" I snapped, jabbing a hand at my chest as I drew back to lean at the chair. I rested my hands on the back of it to hide the quiver that had overtaken them, "Okay? Just-" Another deep breath, " _I_ made the suggestion and _I_ volunteered for it."

He quietened for a while and the lull was a comfort that I sought, almost doubling over in weakness. Remembering the painkiller that I had left in the room of apothecary I nearly groaned out loud but instead opted to focus on his figure.

My brain was getting woozy and slow and I had trouble keeping my eyes open, just wanting to go to my room and collapse on my bed because I knew that only when I would be troubled with this much pain and would be half unconscious would I get a few blinks of sleep. And it was asleep that after a week of doing anything but rest was _extremely_ welcome.

Filvendor stepped forward, his indignation mixing with concern as he met my gaze but it was soon lost when he saw the annoyance contorting my face and his jaw locked in rage,

"The war will start whether or not someone alerts them and the generals of Rivendell are not yet dead that we have to send a mere healer to alert them. This is a moronic idea without a doubt. How can you dare to make a decision like that without us?"

The glare that I issued him right there was worse than I had even given Elladan when he had made his pleasing comments last time. _Dare_ , did he say so. I am daring to plunge into a crook deep out of my comfort zone, just so the casualties might be reduced. Just with the hope that I would be able to help the people. Just so that I could get up and move, do something rather than sitting holed up in the comfort of this magical abode while the world burned all around us.

A world that I didn't even want to be in, I thought scathingly. It was this thought, that came unbidden and a bit unexpected that swirled all the pent up indignation and frustration in me into a huge ball of anger. Because in the end, the thing that was bothering me the most about this week was that every one of my helpless thoughts ended at the loathsome reality that this was _just_ not my world.

It was with this thought that all the carefully constructed ideas of belonging, of _wanting_ to belong shattered into fine shards because how could I belong in a world that I wasn't even allowed to strive for?

Where I was so helpless and so weak. Where all my knowledge came to a standstill and all my actions were viewed as condescending. Where every step I took shattered my confidence until I was just a hollow shell of the confident _independent_ woman that I once was, striving to keep the rags of my old self intact by making all the reckless decisions only to enjoy a moment of freedom. _Of self_.

I stepped forward, towards his towering figure and reveled in the doubt that flashed across his eyes.

"How can I _dare_ Filvendor? _How can I dare_?" I jabbed a finger at him, the anger causing my hand to quiver until all I could do (while not slapping him) was to curl it in a fist and bring it back to my side. I continued with a voice that was gritted and yet barely above a whisper, knowing well enough that yelling wouldn't be of any effect, "I'll tell you, you idiot, how I dared. While you all are out here taking a hold of your feelings and not letting them go, _I_ am being the bigger person who is sidestepping a life that I can develop for some lives that could be saved with this single step. Because I'm not selfish enough to stay hidden and safe in comfort while the people, the _men_ of the same _race_ as I burn in their homes!"

An expression, bordering on hurt flashed through his face and suddenly we were both so tired. I just wanted to not fight about this, I wanted them to accept this as my challenge and to help me overcome it rather than pulling me from the behind.

I wanted them to be the railing that I could lean on for support, not the parapet that blocked my view. And with the uncertainty of the future and the promise of war and misery that hung over us, I wanted there to be no more fights. And judging by the fight leaving him, I thought that perhaps he felt the same. Yet he continued because for the first time I was thinking clear enough to realize that the anger was veiling the fear that he actually felt,

"You have already started a life. You're one of us now." he started, his soft speech tinted with an edge, "That is why you dared. Dared to do something that serves as a slap to every inch of compassion we showed!"

I could've replied back or perhaps validated my point but his words uncovered a gaping hole that I didn't realize was there. Started a new life? Had I truly. The one thing that I had come to the realization was that my stay in Rivendell never felt permanent to me. Never in all those months did I think that this was where I was to live out my days and it was this fact that caused something to stick down my throat until I couldn't breathe,

"I have not." I murmured. I didn't look at him for a moment and the silence that stretched gave a cue that it was my time to talk.

"You-" I started and the calculated expression, the expectant look that I was awarded was nothing short of a slap, "You might say that I have but _I've not_. There is no life that I've begun here in Rivendell, Filvendor. I've made friends and I've made memories but my days are passing by."

The blankness of his eyes was scaring me, so the words tumbled out of my mouth,

"I won't be here forever Filvendor. You ask me to start life over, to adapt, to follow whatever I see here but it just wouldn't be possible, right?"

"What are you speaking of?" he said, his voice for once a whisper,

"I'm a _mortal_ , Filvendor." I replied, "There is no blood of Eldar that ever ran through my veins, I'm no hobbit, no dwarf or no noble of Gondor."

"That's irrelevant." he started but I shook my head, a sad smile pulling at my lips,

"Is it?" I replied, and my whisper rang through the stifling quiet, filled up only by the emotions of my voice, "I don't think so. It is this clock that is tickling above my head that is pushing me Filvendor, that made me realize that I could do it, even if I play with my own life but in the end saving lives or just the mere thought of doing it... That is what I am and that is what I would continue to be"

His face crumbled at my words and the eyes shifted away from me to look at the mantle behind my head. Even though my expression pleaded him to understand,

"The way is dangerous, the times are in their favor-" he continued, the same words as if playing a same broken record but the words were hollow and dry, all the emotion seemingly sucked out and I cut across him, my own voice marked with a certain dryness,

"I know."

"I-" he started and then looked at me, truly looked at my expression, into my eyes and I could see his own orbs struggling to come to a decision, "You've made up your mind."

"I did accept the challenge, making up my mind is still in process."

"Someone from us can carry the message. I can still convince Lord Elrond"

I just shook my head at that. The generals of Lord Elrond were sought by all the orcs. Sending them alone, as the message was supposed to be carried, with the fellowship also in tow as to not draw attention, would be foolhardy,

"You know that it's not true. The orcs would likely pay more attention to you all because of your recent endeavors. If this message is to get delivered then I would perhaps be the most unassuming choice"

"Is that the truth inside your heart?" he asked a moment later and I moved to sit on the chair. My hand, that had taken up the quill to twirl paused a moment, he dragged the chair back, the screeching sound of it filling the space before continuing,

"That you have not made a life here?"

"I try not to," I stated. And then stopped, thinking over what I was gonna say. The words sounded hesitant and quiet, "But I still haven't, I haven't found a sense of. How do I say this? A sense of-"

"Home"

My head snapped towards his and I nodded after a moment,

"Yes, _home_. In Rivendell. I'm not sure if this is because a part of me will never let go of my roots, or just because I haven't just found a sense of comfort, of truly belonging yet."

I paused to get my breath and looked at him with a shy smile, that bloomed immediately with an onslaught of the beautiful memories,

"I mean I love you guys, you're some of the best people I've met. You're _my_ people but I'm just..."

"You're just not a person of _this_ home" he completed, yet again. Leaning forward in his chair another contemplative look took over his features and some part of me realized that the anger had left him,

"Or perhaps it's because you haven't found _your_ people yet"

I opened my mouth to say something but the words ended in a halt and his look turned knowledgeable with a tinge of sadness that constricted my heart.

"In the end, you're right, we are elves cursed with immortality and you... You're destined to fade into memory." he continued with an ironic smile, "I never knew why people strive for this immortal curse, I would rather die with the people who are mine"

"Don't say it." I rebuked, my borrow furrowing at the thought and saw the same old twinkle return to his eyes. No matter how diminished it was, it was still there and we're off to a nice start. For a moment it seemed that he'll make a hilarious remark but the effects of our little spat were not too far off and we were both not in our best shape. My fever still burned and head pounded yet in the light of the gloom that had settled over the silence my health was of the least concern. For the first time, I truly took in his appearance, the slightly disheveled hair, the mud on his collar and the sweat and grime covering him, although by the standards of men he was perhaps clean enough, by his own standards this was the worst I've ever seen him. The tired bags under his eyes and the drop of his shoulders was enough to know how taxing all of the trips had been on him and when he looked up from tracing the crafted design of the table his eyes held a softness and hurt that felt out of place,

"It's true." he said and before I could comment, he clasped his hands in his front, a serious tone prevailing again, "What about your sword practice?"

I smirked at that and this cued another conversation, this time light-hearted and companionable as we spoke of our days, his spend in the rush of adventure and mine in the misery of one's own imagination. For a while we sat there, the light of the flame flickering across the walls and with the night growing deeper and darker causing an increase in the chill of the December, and we talked to our heart's extent as two friends would and should, the worries and fears and anger for a moment placed at the back of our mind. With just compassion and acceptance that we both had in spades for each other.

As we walked down the corridor with the scent of the winter's miracle, nightingale, arousing with the wind, the thoughts of failure and fear were a far thought from the warm feeling that had settled over me in his company. He spoke again, this time his expression held a contemplation that was unreadable to me,

"And Lanette, even though I will accept this decision doesn't mean that my heart is with it. It won't be as easy to tell this to Elladan and Elrohir."

I looked down at that. The fiery temper of Elladan coming to mind but looking sideways at the tired yet relaxed figure of Filvendor I couldn't help but hope for the best,

"They'll understand. You did too."

Filvendor snorted, shaking his head in denial,

"Elladan won't."

"Why wouldn't he?" I murmured casting a worried look over to my companion. Filvendor's steps slowed to a halt and he looked down at my puzzled expression a sudden realization drawing on his face that got a breathless laugh out of him, and a look that was simultaneously surprised and bothered,

"You're not aware." and he shook his head to himself, his voice dropping to a murmur, "Which is no surprise as I'm sure even he isn't"

"Aware of what?"

He registered my presence again and the mischief flamed into life in his expression before mock seriousness took its place and he started walking,

"I hadn't had one meal for the whole day"

"You don't need a meal. What were you saying.-" I retorted and huffed at the sudden velocity of his steps, "Hey! Stop right there" and I was only awarded a loud laugh that propelled a chuckle out of me and soon his words were forgotten with the relief of things taking up a semblance of normalcy.

One down two (one) to go.

* * *

"Shift your feet to the side!" his voice rang out just before his swipe came from my left, barely missing the loose strands framing my face and I stumbled to the right. Another swipe from behind me to destroy my stumbling balance and one dab on my wrist to drop the blade, I was sadly but surely taken down by just three steps.

Stumbling back to my feet, I positioned the blade and the spar started once more. Pushing the blade forward I stopped his heavy strike and pushed with all my will, turning to the side just at the tipping point to make him lose his balance but it was Filvendor, the commander of Elves and the one chief of whose skills even Lord Glorfindel was proud of and such cheap tricks wouldn't work on him. Especially when it was he who taught those to me. He slipped his leg, arching towards the front and my escape to the side was blocked by a tumble that made me eat the mud. I groaned out loud at the misery but the impatient click of the tongue was enough to draw me out of my never-ending embarrassment,

"Don't just throw your weight to the left, you have to twirl while still keeping an eye on the surroundings"

I pushed to the fours, sending him a withering glare in an attempt to hide the muscles that were vibrating with exhaustion. Filvendor in the past four days had taken up the demeanor of a leader and a commander with me and for the first time, I had to see the professional and unyieldingly strict side of him. To say the least, it left much to be desired.

He gave me a once over, his stoic gaze travelling from the bedraggled hair that was half unbound from the tie, now framing a face covered in grime mud and sweat, to the cuts covering my arms and the developing bruise on my wrist from all the times he had smacked his hilt on the delicate bone, to the clothes that had lost their crisp freshness of the morning and were doused with the sweat that I had never, in the twenty-nine years of my life, seen in the winter.

The moment his eyes met mine, there was a mixture of irritation, disbelief that fought with the amusement at my state and I closed my eyes before dropping back, showing that I was too tired to continue.

He clicked his tongue, but sat on the ground beside me, while prodding my legs into a more stable rest position with his feet,

"Have you even been eating? There is more muscle in the hundred old woman that ran the pubs in the Village of Farnborough than you seem to have, Lanette" he replied once he was settled with his arm cushioning his neck and the cold breeze of the winter cooling the heat radiating over our sweaty selves.

"You must be proud to be so original" I snorted in return and saw a smile, brief in its execution, extending on his lips and then he was teaching again,

"Don't get dragged, push to the front before escaping to the side," he said and as if realizing something turned his eyes from the cool grey of the sky towards my heaving figure,

"Don't even think of taking an orc on one to one. You'll be dead before you even have the chance to plan an escape."

I nodded in confirmation knowing his words to be quiet true. Still, I hoped that this never will be the case.

The rustling of the leaves felt calming and the cold noon was much different from the lively and warm summers of Rivendell. For once the life that had been chirping away in the barks was now hidden to protect themselves and this lent a gloom to the already colorless dome of the sky. My eyes closed for a moment of peace and the smooth flow of the chill, with its cold nip, felt pleasing yet unfamiliar and-

"I still can convince Lord Elrond."

"I'm tired," I replied simultaneously, getting into a sitting position, half ready to be up and ready to leave,

"No, you're not." he snapped and in a swift move was up to his feet the blade hung loosely in his hands, "You have only gotten down three techniques in last four days." and then as if he couldn't even believe his own words he continued in an indignant murmur, " _Four days_."

I rolled my eyes at his exaggerated effects and followed him to a standing position yet the blade stayed firmly by my feet,

"Well, sorry for not being perfect in the sport that I never even saw before two years."

"Get it up now," he said, motioning to the blade while sorely ignoring my pained expression. I groaned out loud at his words. All the joints of my body were creaking with the pressure, my legs twitched with every step and my arms felt soulless with the wrist throbbing in torment. I was pretty sure that if I wanted to carry on with the practice tomorrow, today was to be it.

"We've been at it for six hours Filvendor, _Six_ hours!"

His face lost his humor for a moment and his next words were spoken with a certain calm,

"And still I can't assure anyone that you'll escape an encounter with orcs."

For a moment I wondered what to reply and my heart felt like stone dropping into my stomach. I knew he was telling the truth yet, I needed to think of my health too. I hoped that my face showed a certain amount of nonchalance and that the fear and dismay coursing through my veins was not too visible.

"Gee thanks." I tried humor. My voice was dry as if I couldn't find the will to speak and our demeanor suddenly became too similar to the day he returned,

"This is not a sensible plan."

"Yes, you've already said that, let me see, just a hundred times" I snapped, rolling my eyes and yet taking care to not look into his for the fear of my emotions being displayed,

" _Lanette_ ," he replied. His voice was tinged with a softness that forced me to look at him and in a battle of my own heart and mind it was always that my mind won, crushing all the negative emotions into a pile of nonchalance,

"Look, there is a fellowship that is waging towards the land of Mordor and I don't see you complaining"

He shook his head as if the argument was already old to him. Which it probably was,

"There are nine of them, two of them are the greatest warriors of men and one is the bearer of the ring of flame."

"They're going into an area where there are going to be at least a thousand orcs." I replied, "Whereas I," I motioned to myself and for a moment his eyes lightened at the dramatic flair of my arm, "am going to deliver a message, through a route I've already gone by before with a fifty percent chance of even encountering an orc."

"ninety-five."

Giving him a dirty look, I continued,

"Ninety-five, and in light of that, I'll say that I'm at the better end of the spectrum."

"You" he started and suddenly stopped. He hesitated at his place. For a moment his eyes seemed to fix on a spot above my head and when I looked back all I could see was the trees surrounding the clearing, which was an ideal training ground a little ways from the main valley.

"What is it?"

He looked down at me and his eyes seemed uncertain as for if coming to a decision. They cleared a moment later and an apology passed through them,

"This is something you brought n yourself."

"What are you" I started looking back around and from between the cluster of the evergreen trees, I could see the familiar figure wading. Even from this far, I could tell the tightness of the shoulders and the hands clenched around the hilt,

"No," I whispered, grabbing at his arm which he managed to maneuver out of my grip at the last possible moment. I stumbled forwards coming to a standstill just in front of him, enough that there were just a few inches between us, I took this distance as an opportunity to glare at him, my whisper turning harsh and desperate, "Filvendor, _stay right there!_."

"And die, no thanks" he snorted and before I could say anything was out of the clearing with a nod to the sudden intruder along the way.

With a grimace that I barely held and a breath that was heavy with weariness, I turned to look at my companion, his stoic and chilly gaze sending a chill down my spine and it didn't take me a moment to realize that this was an anger that I had not seen before. I stumbled forward, the tense muscles of my legs making it hard to walk and stood a few feet away from him.

"Hey" when I spoke my voice was laced with a certain tenderness and it was also the first time that I registered that for all our spats I really did not want to fight with him. Not now. Not at such a significant point in life. "Elladan."

His jaw clenched at the softness of my voice and for a moment I could see the old anger, the burning passionate one surface in those clear orbs and it was quenched a moment later. As if ice was doused over the burning flame. That old Elladan, the old anger was something that I could work with but this stoic, unfeeling man with a gaze cold enough to send chills down one's spine was someone that caused a stone to settle into my stomach.

The silence stretched for a long while. He did not speak and neither did I say anything. Feeling stifled under the grey of his eyes, my own warm ones dropped to the ground tracing mindless patterns on the pale grass.

It was his voice, rich and strong yet fearful and cold that snapped me back to attention.

"Will you speak or shall I?" he said in a crisp and calculated tone,

"Look, I-" My response was prompt and before I could constitute a comprehensive thought his voice cut across mine,

"You won't leave." his voice was not a question and yet... It wasn't a demand, either. His eyes took on the light of a predator as if baiting his prey and I hesitated a moment before uttering my reply,

"I will."

He snorted at that and the sound was so devoid of humor that it echoed in the clearing, accented by the sudden rustle of leaves as another breeze blew across.

I was pretty sure that this chill that had overtaken my chest had nothing to do with the weather,

"Just because you have the twisted sense of confidence doesn't mean that you have the knowledge about the shadows that lurk out in the open," he said, his voice cold, calculated, _void_ ,

I tried at another smile,

"I'll be alright-"

"Don't you dare say it when you're plunging into the hellflame." his rough voice cut across again and he took a step forward. This time as he stared into my eyes, to see what I felt, I glared back, with a sense of confidence that was wholly false and constructed. In the end, there was a flash of disappointment through them and I wondered if I should say something yet he beat me to it,

"I see you've made your decision."

"This is something I must do-"

"No," he cut across. It was quite surprising how something spoken so calmly could have such a halting effect on me. I felt my mouth clamp shut,

"This is something that you chose to do. It's a choice that you made with that need to be independent when there is no one in the world stopping you from being."

I shook my head furiously, hoping to make him understand, that all these ideas he was getting into his head they were not my thoughts,

"It's not about-"

"Is it not?" he replied, "Is it because of the people that might be saved, is that what you say, that you're venturing to the west will save the lives but look into your heart _Miss Anderson_ , is that truly what it is?"

Miss Anderson, the words were spat like acid from his tongue, the venom causing me to flinch despite myself. This was not the man that I was used to dealing with. It was the first time that I realized what Elrohir had referred to as a shell of Elladan's old self. Just because I had never been privy to this cold destructive man, whose very words were spoken with such accuracy to break one's heart did not mean that he had any qualms showing him to me,

"Can you say confidently that it is not your inner sense of wanting to prove yourself, to do something because you're _tired_ of staying here. Because you are _sick_ of the compassion that you were shown because it holds you to a few responsibilities, a few _ethics_?"

The words felt like a slap to my face. I shook my head and in another attempt to just explain myself, I looked at him pleadingly,

"Elladan-"

"You speak so high and mighty about saving people but in the end, it is just your selfish desire and worth that helps you to spit in the faces that had always helped you."

"I've never-" I started and then stopped myself, the face of Raforta, kind and forgiving flashed across my brain followed by the look of Cathiel, so fearful and utterly disgusted in her own self and somehow the argument would no longer form words. Instead, my voiced reduced to a murmur as my eyes burned in disgust,

"Spitting on your faces was never my intention"

He gave a humorless smirk and a moment later it was wiped out by a truly thunderous expression,

"Fine then, choose to do what you may but remember one thing Lady Lanette Anderson, we bury whatever there was between us the day you choose to leave"

My eyes snapped towards him and in an onslaught of the memories of the past months, the jabs, the talks the jokes, the _friendship_ ,

"How can you just leave _everything_ Elladan, all the memories-"

"You made a choice and I made my own."

We stated at each other for a moment and it was at this moment that I realized two things. One was that I wasn't going to leave this mission and the other was that Elladan had no plans of understanding or forgiving in the near future. He seemed to realize the same details as his jaw locked in place and the eyes looked over my head towards the bark stretching towards the sky. His Adam's apple bobbled with emotions before he turned to leave. Just before he could do so, he spoke once again,

"And it's Lord Elladan for you," his voice dropped in hesitation and the next words he spoke were no longer stoic and stern rather there was a certain thickness and emotion that left its burn on my chest, "since you've already decided."

The silence stretched a moment as if he was giving me an opportunity to rectify this all, to back down, to stay here with them so that we could all continue the way we were. So perhaps we all could be happy.

But ignorance was bliss and the irony was that none of us was ignorant of our duties or of what we could achieve.

So with heavy heat and a throbbing mind, I felt my voice, thick and heavy with passion suspended in the stifling quiet, stopping him at the very edge of the clearing,

"Goodbye, Lord Elladan."

And this moment it was me who walked away, leaving from the other end with Agnaria laying forgotten in the mud and the regret and apology burning on the tip of my tongue.

* * *

" _I see that you've made your choice_." Say that you haven't.

" _Because you are sick of the compassion that you were shown because it holds you to a few responsibilities, a few ethics?_ " The hurt flashing through her eyes should've stopped him. _It should've_.

" _You speak so high and mighty about saving people but in the end, it is just your selfish desire and worth that helps you to spit in the faces that had always helped you_." He had spat those words in the face of the one woman whose compassion had warmed his heart.

He sees her mind whirling, he sees all those emotions filtering through her eyes and they stop at a sense of pain. Her goodbye freezes his heart and he realizes that perhaps he shouldn't have done it. Her back vanishing under the moonlight leaves him in the black abyss of the forest with the looming figures of the trees closing in around him.

He finds himself in a cavern, the blood and gore splattered across the walls and a broken body of his mother laying forlorn and broken before him. He sees those despicable figures and hears those strangled cries that had followed the next months of her mother's rescue. He sees the spirit of his mother shattered and those soft words of goodbye as she sails towards an eternal goodbye.

And then suddenly it is the words of Arwen " _I love him_ " she had said and they still haunt him to this day.

" _I shall choose mortality if it entails a life with him_ ," and no matter how many tantrums and threats he had thrown, the love had stayed and had cultured into a force that was intangible. He sees himself standing beneath the cavern as his sister looks over the horizon and he feels another person slipping out of his life, yet he can't reach no matter how fast he ran.

In the end, it is _her_ face, instead of his mother's that lays broken, _her_ eyes that move farther and farther away. _Her_ look of hurt and apology that he had seen not a few hours ago and the little tendrils that held together his heart are ripping apart.

He grasps one significant detail, there had been three women that he had held close to his heart and all three of them he had lost due to his own inability to understand.

How could he understand others? He thinks when no one saw the gaping hole in his heart?

* * *

The shadows seep across the grounds. The chilled air of December cutting through the Courtyard and for a moment his eyes remain fixed on a flickering flame because for him the world was once again burning. The embers of the night burn in the solitude, the raging fires in the burning Valley fly across his mind and for a moment all he can see is the hell breaking loose and the shrill screams that douse him in cold sweat to this day.

"Gloin!" his companion calls, Berthor, was his name and all the world trending in his imagination comes to an abrupt halt. The raging embers fade into the cool darkness of the valley and the mounds of the flame filter into a small lamp who's fire flickers in the breeze. He heaves a breath, realizing that he was not there, in the burning Valley and the Battle of Erebor and turns to his companion.

He chatters about something, in that gruff tone of his voice yet feels his mind drifting off into the abyss that had become prevalent in the stay at this Valley.

The great hall is bursting with life but a heavy air around the room hidden by the stoic smiles. His place is beside the queer Lady and he strikes up a polite conversation that bordered on him boasting all his past _beautiful_ memories. She listens politely, nodding at appropriate moments but he had lived far too long to know when a person was present not only in body but the mind as well. His eyes trace her hesitant gaze to the table where the two brats of the Lord sit, their elven faces set in haughty arrogance.

"Much on your mind lass," he asks a moment later and she snaps back to attention. Her smile is strained and fake, "Don't us all?" she replies, much like she always did, with an effort to hide her true feelings.

For a moment he stays quiet, his old age while making him boastful and full of pride also makes his mind weak, his mind wanders too often in the past. The melancholy air of the valley beats at his heart and the next time he looks at the twins sitting a few tables away, he sees Filli and Killi. He sees their haughty expressions hiding their fear and he sees their courage masking their insecurities and he can't help but imagine their broken faces as they fought to protect those that were their life. It is then that he finds that he could dissect their masks. That he could see all their anger, fear and grief hidden behind a mask of nonchalance. It is those eyes swirling with emotions that make him realize that those youthful twins were not those he had seen buried in the mud and that these two had seen more centuries and more heartbreaks than even he had perhaps.

He sees the stubbornness in the commander's eyes and finds the face of him blurring with the adamance of Killi, suddenly the years are mixing and he doesn't know which pair he was talking of when he next speaks,

"Forgive them. Reconcile. Take all the be best memories with you." he murmurs and she looks at him with a sad smile, "There is nothing to be forgiven and even less to say."

She says but she doesn't realize, she _doesn't realize_ that the cold faces, when buried in the mud, can no longer reconcile.

* * *

The week before the fellowship was to depart flew by yet it remained in the memory as a significant patch that crawled by in the consciousness. It was that time that when around seemed to slither forward and when the days pass you can barely remember why that small fragment of time seemed so significant to you. (A/N: Disclaimer. It is an English translation of an Urdu poetry verse)

 _"And then our paths couldn't align,_

 _For he was egocentric and so was I"_

I remembered murmuring in rebuttal as Filvendor and I sat under the soft glow of the lantern on the roof of the library after a long session to decide which road was the best to take. The choices were few and even those few, dangerous and unfavorable. In the end, we had climbed on the roof, a feat that I was not sure was possible before today and the tall post with a decorative lantern was not more than a meter from us, imparting a warm glow that seemed to dull the fearful winds. A bottle of sweet wine sat before him and with his arms resting on his knees and a look so forlorn, staring at the twinkling spots in the dark abyss of the sky, a pang of regret hit my chest. With the choice that I had made, I had hurt the few people that had become a part of my life, my _heart_ in this new world.

I knew that Filvendor was putting up a facade, just to spare me the stress for he was one of the purest people that I had met in this world. Yet whenever I looked at the sadness flickering on his face, barely hidden by the snarky jokes I felt myself becoming more and more remorseful. I couldn't help but think that, 'would this even make a difference?'. Was destroying that peaceful melancholy was truly worth it? What if it was all for nothing what if... I had just wanted to make the world better, just by a few cents of my own work but somehow I had spit back in the faces of the people that helped me every corner of the way. I couldn't help but remember Elladan's face, more than a week ago when he had stared at me, and that look of sadness and betrayal that had passed his face was imprinted in my mind. I haven't spoken to him since then. There hadn't been any words to say or perhaps there had been so many and I didn't know what to say. I wanted to apologize, to tell him that I would be safe, that I will carry out this small mission and that as long as the world survives I promise that I would too. But these words felt like a lie even to my own tongue and thus all the thoughts and feelings were left buried in my chest, as I saw him pass the courtyard towards his rooms with the coldest composure I have ever seen on his face.

Filvendor had asked me to talk to him and he had quietened when I told him that there was nothing to say. The verse had felt fitting and the ironic smile that it had pulled on his lips lent melancholy to the air. Ego was a big thing and when none of us was willing to compromise, perhaps it was better to let the things rest. And so I chugged the bottle, the taste burning down my throat and the bliss of unconsciousness felt a welcome escape from the horrendous feeling of this week.

The _day_ dawned, finally, when the small courtyard was filled with the members of the fellowship with Lord Elrond speaking in quiet tones with Gandalf. I stood above the ledge, overlooking the scene from meters away. There was something picturesque about it, to be honest, as if a scene straight out of an adventure epic, with the people of all species, coming together despite their differences to walk towards the greatest peril to ever exist in this mortal land. With a burden of the whole world hanging on their proud backs. They disappeared with the dawn, the figures blurring along with the dawn until all that was left were the echoes of their steps and the sand filtering through the air in the wake of their steps.

Lord Elrond turned and even from this far I met his gaze, the solemnity of his eyes matching my own. They spoke quite truthfully of the fears and perils that fluttered in my heart and filtering on the low breeze of December I heard the words "It's your turn now, to complete what you started."

The stone that settled in my stomach had nothing to do with the spinach that I had eaten at night, no matter how much I tried to convince myself so.

* * *

December 25, Third Age 3018, marked the day when, with hearts full of fear, shoulders heaving with the burdens and mind heavy with the regret of broken promises, departed the nine souls to overturn the fate of those of moral bearings. Carrying the blessings uttered in the dark of the nights and in the last breaths of those lost in the annihilation and with the gazes of the whole of civilizations burning into their backs.

January 6, Third age 3019 was the day when I departed, during the late hours of the night and with a promise of dawn right before me. I strapped my bags on the stallion, with the gaze of Filvendor imploring me to think again and my hands felt cold and body hollow as I mounted his steed. The smile that I gave him was strained and for once he made no joke to lighten the situation and I wished that his crystal gaze, sad and helpless was not the last memory I had of this place as I turned and rushed away, leaving the warmest and fulfilling part of my memories in a mess of broken shards that I had not taken the time to recollect.

All the while was oblivious to the grey orbs, forlorn and regretful following my vanishing figure down the trodden route.

* * *

 ** _To be continued..._**

 **A/N:** So love it? Hate it? How was the new format? Would love your views to know how to proceed further!


	26. (PART-II) Chapter 25: Into the Gloom

**A/N:** Oooh! So the flight has already taken off and has been plunged into the first great trial. Which you'll know at the end of the chapter. *wink*.

Also, thank you for being so patient with me, like I can't explain lovely you guys are.

And I've decided to do something on the matter of English and the validated points. So English in this chapter is _underlined with italics_ and a stressed word in only in _italics_.

 _For anyone wondering thst why the heck are there still 25 chs even though another chapter was uploaded. The answer is that we'll I just realised that there was a mistake in numbering the chapters and after 19 there was no 20 only 21. So I got around to rectify the mistake. Sorry._

 _ **Raider-K:** I can't even explain how giddy all your reviews made me. So thank you for making my day (or month ahmdefinitelymonthahm). It is awesome to know that you liked the story and I hope that you continue to give the same support! Have a nice day :)_

 _ **JJAndrews:** This average sort of story is only made possible by excellent people like you! Yup, well that was a twist for Elladan and Lanette but ahmrealismahm. Hope that you continue to enjoy the story. Have a nice day :)_

 _ **Dr. Zimmerman:** Thank you so much! Hope that you enjoy this chapter too and all the many chapters to come (okay not that many but still). Have a nice day :)_

 _ **La Femme Absurde:** The veteran is back to reviewing! Woohoo. Can't explain how happy I was to see you still sticking around. Well, Legolas is gonna come much more now! Hope that you enjoy! Have a nice day :) _

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 ** _Hope that you Enjoy Reading! R &R (cuz reviews are better than cookies... No kidding)!_**

* * *

 **Chapter 25: Into the Gloom.**

 **4th January, T. A. 3019.**

 **Rivendell**

"... if you take the Redhorn Gate, the pass under the far side of Caradhras, it'll be much easier to vaginate through the mountains." Filvendor went on, tracing the said path on the magnified map of the foothills of the Misty Mountains. He motioned to a few points, marked red on the dark lines of the route and I shifted closer to get that into my head, "You'll reach the Dimrill Dale, and then to the River Silverlode, in two weeks at the most, on foot."

My head snapped up in surprise and an expression that was gradually turning incredulous found its place,

"Two weeks!," I squeaked out loud, and then casting an apologetic look over to the librarian, continued, "It took me more than a _month_ to do that last time."

Filvendor's expression fought something akin to disbelief and amusement and in the end, he decided to just chuckle as he shook his head.

"It happens when one is not aware of the paths through the mountains. They may appear to have no defined routes but if you venture the wrong way, you can be struck in those peaks for months."

Pointing to another course, near the foothills that I had trudged through on the way to Rivendell, he traced a large oval, moving above the route that I was now supposed to take,

"Look," he said, tapping at a specific point, "you entered the peaks from the Fanhuidol the Grey. This path that you most probably ventured on, divides into this Arctic fork, here." another tap at that point, and then he continued, "If you turn left, and down the Caradhras then only a week on the straight path. Although the right path, where the peaks appear lower, can lead you down Silvertine, on a road that circles upon itself twice only to reach the Celebdil, right back on the path that you first started on."

I stared at the map for another long moment, trying to keep all the points and shortcuts in my mind and finally sighed, ensuring the way once more,

"So this is the direction I take for those two weeks, and then straight into the foothills that will lead to Rohan?"

I asked motioning to the passage that we've decided on (more like the route he had decided on). Looking at the domain, it was at a good distance from Isengard, and near Hollin where orcs weren't keen to stay.

Filvendor looked troubled and then for a moment as if wondering whether he should tell me the information, shook his head. His expression was serious, frightening even.

When he next spoke his voice dropped to a murmur,

"Other factors are also to be considered Lanette. The scouts in the precious months have bewared us of the minors of Mordor. Crebain of Fangorn and Dunland- those are the creatures you steer clear of at all costs. Their gazes spread wide, and their periphery is unrivalled among the beasts of middle earth. If you're seen by them means that orcs will not be far off." I chewed on my lip and my heart sunk at the news. As if the threat of orcs and goblins and giants was not enough, now this too.

He opened the map that I was to take, the one marked with all the points well enough so I might not have any difficulty, and pointed to another route extending miles away from the first path,

"The Gap of Rohan might be safest from them, although it ventures closest to Isengard but," and then he looked at me for a moment forcing me to take in the gravity of his words. "venturing near Isengard is only bad for those who are not sure of the fidelity of the Rohirrim," I stared at him in disbelief, and the fierce 'what!?' that followed made the librarian's head snap up. Filvendor took my arm and only when we reached the deepest end of the library, away from prying eyes and eavesdropping ears, did he speak again,

"I couldn't help but listen into," he started with hesitation, only to stop with a click of his tongue and then a flustered hand ruffled his strands, "Aragorn, and even Gandalf, they're not sure of the fealty of the Rohirrim. Where their hearts have turned to, I mean, whether they still hold faithful to the free people of Middle Earth or have shifted to the clutches or the Dark Lord," I nearly cut him off, a hiss leaving my throat at his words. Suddenly it felt magnified, those looks of fear that had coursed through their eyes, of Filvendor, Of Elladan and the stiff acceptance of Elrohir. Why wasn't I told that they think of Rohirrim as far gone?

"The only comfort is that Eohere was raised a ranger, he has that loyalty, that fierce humanity in him that we all know. He's a friend, a companion, a brother in arms, and it is in him that we all place our hopes. For if _he_ has turned then there is no hope left for Rohan." I nearly screamed at him, out loud, that why wasn't I made aware of this detail. Why wasn't this something that I was told? Why, when all of them were howling, throwing their tantrums, _arguing_ with me, why would they still hide the truth?

I looked down at my feet. A feeling of gloom, of disappointment coursing through my veins. They've been so quick to reprimand but not quick to tell, huh?

Filvendor, seemingly sensing my distress murmured an apology and him I could forgive, I thought because it was him who had helped me, stood by me, prepared me when all of them ( _when Elladan_ ) would not even look back at me.

Where there had once been regret, after our spat a week or so back, now there was just anger. My regret had dwindled until there had been rage ( _at his stubbornness_ ), and now just frustration, ( _because he never knew when to move on and forgive. He didn't know_ ).

These were the days I thought when a person realised who would stand by them and who would not, and it was this observation, this realisation that sent a pang through my already bruised heart.

The next hour passed in a frenzy. More discussions, more strategies; on how to survive, on how to attack, on how to kill but in the end most importantly, on how to sift into the shadows.

I nodded at that, the bile felt nauseating in my throat. _Slipping in the shadows,_ we all knew how important that was, but when the time came would I even know what to do.

Rolling up the map at the urging gaze of the librarian, I put it in a bag along with the necessities I was going to take. A small vial, swirling with violet fluid made its way into the table and I was stopped by Filvendor's hand before I could put it back in.

"What is that?"

For a moment I felt the impulse to lie, even surprising myself. All the elves knew the significance of this plant, as this had only spoken of malevolence in their times. During the punishment of which was a dark era in the history of elves.

"Heratwreath" I replied. His eyes flicked towards mine, the orbs swirling in incredulity and a bit of fear thrown into the mix until he narrowed his eyes at my expression,

"You're willing to use it."

I sighed at that, pushing his hand away gently and placing the vial in the pocket of the sack that I was given,

"I hope that day never comes Filvendor, but Lord Elrond wishes me to take it."

He looked torn for a moment and then as we moved out into the cold winter night, his whisper floated past my ears,

"You'll be going straight to Rohan, _Mellon nin_ ," There was tinge of question in the fact that he spoke, and I didn't know how to answer that thought.

We ventured into the same little area, beside the same waterfall, where our friendship had truly developed and somehow it felt melancholy, those days when I was still heartbroken by the news I've heard and when the most of our troubles were 'how to be happy'. It was just like that in some sense but now, with our lives moving towards an uncertainty that was terrifying, I couldn't help but feel as if those days, about half a year ago, were a fragment of my imagination.

The water was in harmony, flowing with a peace that was ironic to the stresses of the valley and I sat on the same rock as I've done so many times. The chill of the January was biting during the late hours of the night and there was a certain woe in the breeze that ruffled the branches.

We sat in silence for a while, there was so much that could've been said, so much that perhaps I _wanted_ to say but there was this hesitation always, perhaps what could be called the curse of a man as one never speaks of what was in their heart until it was ( _always)_ too late. I traced my feet to make an unconscious pattern on the ground and halted as Filvendor's figure shifted by my side.

From the corner of my eye, I saw him raising his arms, the hands that circled around his neck and the crisp clasp of metal before his hand was on my own.

I looked at him startled, his fingers cold against the flesh that I had kept warm inside the shawl and instead glanced at his fingers as he pried my fist open to drop something in it, and the metal of the round pendant gleamed in the moonlight.

"Here Lanette," he murmured and there was a certain quiver in his tone that was staggering. In the end, he just closed my palm over it and turned to my face with a smile that was strained and without doubt painful, "keep this."

"What is-"

My voice was cut off by his expression and for a moment he just stared at the water gushing down the rocks. The sound felt thick, unnecessary, and I just waited for him to reply, something about this pendant churning my stomach.

"I told you of my three friends that were lost somewhere along the line, right?"

He started and hesitated until my nod spurred him on. I remembered that little chat on the balcony. The mischievous banter that had turned into something that we had both just grazed the surface of. It was an unspoken promise between us, to not to dwell into the details until the other himself is okay with sharing. And why this tale now, I wasn't sure.

"One of them was a warrior, the only elleth to ever make it to the post of a commander in those times," I shifted my position so it was easier to look at him and the smile that etched on his face at her name sent pangs to my heart. There was something so hauntingly beautiful about a tale that was striving for rebellion but was destined to end in tragedy, "this was a pendant I exchanged with her. A promise to live the life and to not fade from this world, at least not until we see this world freed from the perils of times."

I traced my fingers over the crescent and the small rose that was carved beautifully over the surface. A promise to live, huh, it was the hardest promise of them all.

He inhaled sharply, before continuing,

"She died on an orc siege, all fifteen of the company burnt to crisp, it was the time Elladan and Elrohir's mother was taken. Perhaps that is why we three bonded so well because all of us had lost someone so precious to ourselves during those few months of darkness."

He turned his smile towards me and I felt the words burning at the tip of my tongue, that he needn't smile at this, that not every moment of his life demanded strength and courage, and that not every person in this world demanded perfection. Some just want to embrace the broken embers of your heart. But sometimes, some things are self-explanatory and it was not long before his face was taught with the painful recollections of his past.

He looked at me, those two orbs that had always been filled with warmth and compassion, liveliness and spirit, turned into hollow stones, "This pendant," he continued, eyes looking at the metal caught between my fingers, "It is my promise of life, a promise to live, a promise of Réunion."

"How can I-" I started, extended the pendant towards him but his palm stopped the movement midway, pushing it back.

He looked at me, and there was a plea to let him finish and so I stuffed my tongue and waited for his voice,

"All elves believe in reunions, for the lands beyond the sea are the immortal soil for us all. But those that die of fatal wounds can never make it past" Desperation, regret, disappointment, melancholy. His expression spoke of it all.

"That promise is destroyed. I can never see that woman again." and there was also something that burned brighter than the rest, something that was even more tragic than the fate that befell her. It took me a moment to decipher what it meant, what those eyes spoke of.

"You-" I gasped at the realisation. Sometimes one's heart just goes out to a person and at that moment I felt those pangs in my own very chest.

"You _loved_ her" I murmured my voice thick with the emotion.

His expression turned thoughtful and then a hint of sadness as he shook his head,

"I'm not sure," but there was a wariness that lined his tone, "I never thought of it, because there was always a promise that hung over us until it tore us all apart"

And then a smile, a remembrance of what was beautiful and what could've been until it was shattered. It flickered my mind towards the days of my past. The certainty with which I had slept that day until the coming dawn had torn it all apart,

"Perhaps I truly did love her, until it was too late to realise, or perhaps I fell in love with those beautiful memories, that were the only thing left for me to replay."

I looked at the surging water for a moment to collect my buzzing thoughts before staring back at him

"You must know it. Wouldn't you? _Now_ , after those centuries, whether you loved her or not."

He seemed to consider my words until a sigh reverberated from his figure,

"Elves fall in love once, and when it is taken they fade, or sail to the shores for the effect of that love is too unbearable"

There was that expression, that regret he had worn on that day, the same distress and the same self-loathing, that filtered across his face, "I did neither."

I took hold of his arm, a certain determination burning in my expression. It wasn't like that and he had to know it.

"Because you had the promise to keep. Because perhaps for you the greatest form of love was to ensure that you never betray her, not until your last breath." I gave him a smile that had turned watery due to the tears his distress had brought.

"And if you've faded where would have I found my best- _est_ friend"

He gave a small smile at that, something that reached his eyes and for a moment lightened the atmosphere. Giving me a small look, as if wondering something he spoke again a moment later. The embers of distress were now wiped out of his tone, now fused only with a hint of melancholy.

"You reminded me of her at first. A streak of rebellion, a hotheadedness that is tenacious but in the end, you became your own person."

He gave me a smile that I returned wholeheartedly, for it was because of people like him that I could be myself in this world.

"You can only be Lanette Anderson if that makes any sense for you."

I shook my head, to signify that for me it _did_ make a lot of sense and patted a hand over his,

"And you can always be only Filvendor you know, the raw, beautiful and sassy person beneath those layers that I'm proud to say I'm privy to."

I was rewarded with a laugh. The silence extended for a while longer. Both of us content to let the emotions subside. It wasn't until I was nearly drooping with tiredness that he spoke again,

"So keep the promise lanette"

I looked at him, at the gaze that suddenly burned with a plea, "I've lived those years, only to fulfil my vow, so keep the promise with which I give you this, Lanette."

He gave me a small smile, mournful and fearful but mixed with a hope that wrenched my heart.

"Comeback huh? You _must_ come back"

I stared at the rose curling above the crescent. The weight of his words was a lot, especially in the era of such precariousness. But there was something that I had to say, something that _I_ also wanted. I focused on him, taking his hand in my own and pressing our fingers together. His eyes, curious, shifted between the hands that were pressed in an oath and my expression,

"Let's change the promise Filvendor, I'll promise too, _both of us_ , that we'll live."

His expression fell for a moment, and I wondered how he had passed these years but sometimes, it is our selfishness that drives us and right then perhaps I wanted him to live, for himself and for me. To be happy. To move on despite that heartbreak. Because he was a person who could smile despite the flame that held his heart ablaze and the one that could make the world better despite this own heart that had been crushed. Because he was the strongest person that I knew and because I was there for him now. Because now come hell or high water he won't live alone.

There was an understanding that touched his expression, a tenderness that overtook his face and when he spoke it was with a smile that was tenacious,

"It's a hard promise to keep but something tells me that it will be worthwhile in the end."

* * *

 **12th January, T. A. 3019.**

 **Foothills of Caradhras**

The stick rolled down from the pile, stopping right at my feet. I sat there, on the rock that I had rolled towards the destination, which was essentially a large tree, with its grey bark not less than a meter in width. The two rocks in my hands, the ones I had collected to spark a flame, felt heavy as I mulled over the need.

The cold in the air and the nearby peaks of the misty mountains lent an unbearable nip to the surroundings and I wanted nothing more than a flame flickering merrily before me. But the area was to close to the mountains, settled in its rocky foothills and the warnings about Crebain still echoed in my ears.

The night had settled long ago, and in the dark with no source of illumination, the fear that had coursed through my veins had doubled. The light of the half moon caused shadows in the dark, the shadows that moved with the shifting leaves and for a moment I felt uncertainty course through my veins. I gave the area another thoughtful look, wondering whether I should stay here but I was sore from all the horse riding and my stallion, that was tied to the tree next to me, was already dozing off. The previous week had been hard on us both, and with little to no vegetation in these rocky areas after Hollin, I was sure that rest was extremely important.

Still, I felt goosebumps rise on my arm and I couldn't help my thoughts, "Is it cowardly to be frightened?" and it wasn't until my voice fell to my own ears that I realised that I had spoken these words aloud. The only answer was the hiss of the winter breeze through the branches of the ancient trees.

I had forgotten how lonely these trips once were and in this isolation, my mind wandered to all the adventures I had till now.

That naive little trip through the tracks right outside Bree. I wondered if my phone and stuff were still sitting in that little drawer in the guest room of Rivendell that I was allotted. The days before the departure were so hectic, and so emotionally draining that I didn't give enough thought to my old stuff. Still, during the night of my last day there, I had sifted through it and the emotions that it arose in me were something that I had worked really hard to bury. My chest tightened at the thought and my left hand traced the ring on the right, that ring that I always wore on my index finger, the thin band had once been a source of fashion and quite a thoughtful birthday gift from my sister. How had I forgotten this little trinket buried in my drawer, I wasn't sure. In Gondor, I had taken it off to pull out the whole maid scenario. On the way, I had kept the band hidden, because white gold was surely something that could be stolen and in Rivendell... Well, there I had kept it out of the way because the bruise of the truth was too painful to bear. But now I wore it for a sense of belonging, for a sense of myself or for a sense of comfort, I wasn't sure. Sometimes when the emotions become such a huge nova in your chest you are unable to identify what you truly were feeling.

The way to Rohan, then extended to Gondor was the next adventure I had undertaken. It was also one of the best that I had done, in the company of a man that was my friend, confidential and person that helped me to stand on my feet here. With the fear of Aragorn and even Gandalf about the loyalty of the Rohirrim, I had found my thoughts overtake by that particular journey too many times for my liking. And every time I found myself repeating those little talks, chats, actions and even glances that I had exchanged with him, a single clue about whether he was then a man turned by evil and every time I felt like slapping myself, for doubting a person who had helped me every turn of that way.

I leaned back, flopping down onto the hard, cold ground and groaned out loud.

 _"That might just be the last thing that I want,"_ he had said during that goodbye. With the light of the rising sun shining through his dirty blond hair, the strands of which reached halfway down his neck in a messy fashion, and the blue eyes that reflected melancholy and kindness but still an edge of strength, it was an image that had become the norm in the thoughts.

I shook my head, wondering where this all was going and hoping against hope that he was the same guy as those days.

The only thing that made my stomach squeeze uncomfortably was the fact that I had not even known that he was a man of royalty until after I had parted ways with him, so the fact that there was so much more to him that I didn't know and the man that I was privy to was just a cover of his real self was the thought that frightened the crap out of me.

The world was not as scary, I decided, the humans were the beings that made it downright frightening, and it was with this last thought that I drifted into a fitful sleep.

* * *

It was with a loud neigh and the clamorous pattering of hooves from the side, that woke me. I was on my feet, with a hand on the sheathed Agnaria before I could comprehend what was happening.

The quiet of the night was disconcerting and I let my hand drop after many long moments of silence. With a hand on the reign of the haggard horse I tried to quieten him down but even without the voices, it dropped on its legs and shivers overtook its body.

It wasn't until the crow of a bird and the swish of the wings came from near my head that I realised the true gravity of the situation. I dropped by the ground at the scare, with a hand struggling to cover my head and the view of the dark sky, illuminated scarcely by the shine of the moon, that was getting hidden by the swift flight of the beasts, knocked all the air out of my lungs.

The flying beasts of Mordor, Filvendor had said. Their presence meant that the orcs would not be far off either. It was this damnation that rung through my head and forced me to scamper to my feet. Their voices echoed through the area and I covered my ears at a particularly loud screech that sounded just to the right.

I needed to leave this place before the orcs found out about me.

With the horror coursing through my veins and the sudden noise that filled the quiet of the night with the loud neighs and crows of the beasts, I struggled to make my mind tune in with my thoughts.

The path that we had decided on previously would be no longer available, not if these beasts were keeping an eye on the mountains, so it only left me with the gap of Rohan and that area was fearsome in its own right.

Still, I needed a distraction, a way to sift in the shadows and the loud thumps of the stallion would only lead me into trouble now.

It was with great difficulty that my arms circled around its neck and I buried my head in the warm coat, murmuring words of reassurance just like Filvendor and hoping against hope that he couldn't make out the quiver of my tone.

" _Go_ ," I murmured into the coat when the shivering had stilled for a moment, "Go, Go and stay with Filvendor. Your owner needs you." It was then that I got a look at the beady eyes, hooded in fear and despair. My heart wrenched at the thought that this journey might be towards his end and I prayed again and again that he will make it to Rivendell. I hoped with all my heart that he will.

The stallion, with a little hesitation, took thundering down the path that led back towards Hollin. Left at my own devices, with the beasts still raging the skies, I stumbled to the shade of the tree, heaving up my bag and jumping down to the covered rocky path.

If it was to stay away from their sight then the best course was of the foothills, the large mountains and their magnificent heights hiding the narrow paths in their embrace.

It was with a thundering heart and shivering body that I started down the arduous path, with the screeches of terror still resounding in my mind.

It took me a while to find the right path through the rocky terrains. By the time I was sure that I was going to the direction of the redhorn pass, from where my way will be straight through the same terrain, the sun had long risen, with the hours stretching in and it was finally turning into noon. The map was held limply in my fingers and I didn't even keep track of how many times I had thanked Filvendor in my head for making this something to be easily understood on the way.

The last ten hours or so had been rushed, with the constant fear of being caught, the worry of run-in with the orcs, the fear of the Gap of Rohan and the worry for the stallion that had served as a decoy, I had barely felt the need or the spirit to stop to take a rest. But now as the distance between me and the last night's domain grew momentously, my steps slowed on their own accord. The ache through my legs was persistent and growing and once again I was reminded of how hard the journeys usually are.

I turned on my feet, walking backwards for a moment and hoping to scout the area for any threat. At that moment, if I had the eyes and the ears of the elvish community, it would've served not only for my safety but also for my mental satisfaction but a bugger to be stuck with the normal eyes and I could see nothing of consequence as far as my eyes could make out.

The area was quiet, similar to the day yesterday and I hoped that this was not another calm before the storm. I really needed to stop and rest if I wanted to continue, so after going on for about half an hour, I stopped to rest under a jutting rock that provided a sanctuary to the ground. Looking in the small area I prodded with the sword to make sure it was safe before dropping down to the ground. My stomach grumbled with full force yet I could not find the strength to just move my arm. With a hand massaging my right shoulder and the other one rummaging through the back for a meal of bread, I let my mind wander to the orange light that I had seen near the Caradhras, just after I had run from the area. The fire, which had raged in full force for only a moment was a constant reminder of the dangers that lurked in the shadows and I couldn't help the goosebumps that rose on my arms. With an abrupt heave, I stood, not wanting to lurk anymore and it was when I was already down the path that I heard the thump of feet. The howls sounded a moment later and in a moment of clarity I pressed myself against the rocky cliff and my hand found its way to my mouth, keeping it pressed shut. I clinched my eyes for hoping to disperse the sudden panic. With my heart pounding in my ears and all the senses suddenly magnified I waited with bated breath as the footfalls circled on the upper cliff and then thundered away.

I stood there for a long while, with my body still stuck to the cliff and it wasn't until I was sure that I was left alone again that I let my hand drop from my mouth.

Backing away from the cliff I chanced a look at the rising red stones wondering where the orcs and wargs have gone to. Within the next moment, I was on the road again, hoping to put as much distance between me and the wargs as soon as possible.

* * *

The sun was diving towards the west, the noon gradually but surely changing its hue towards the evening when I heard the next steps.

I wondered what the world was coming to, and how much of rotten luck was left for the day for me to come into contact with so many dangers in such a short span of time.

Every time there was some new the voices and pounding of the feet, I felt as if I was listening to the summons to damnation and every time I came across even an innocent animal, I felt my body freezing with uncertainty.

I went rigid at the thudding sounds and then hoping to be quiet, sifted into the small opening within the rocks. It opened to a road leading to an even narrower path and in that moment of pin-drop quiet I made out the drizzle of some stream far away. With a desperate look to the left, I saw a small hole and at that moment I didn't care if it was infested with even a colony of scorpions because the torture at the hands of the orcs was way more chilling.

I chanced a movement to the left, placing a careful foot on the terrain and was just about to slip left from the side, down the slope to the hidden hole beneath when a hand grasped my upper arm, the broad palm curling easily across my arm and all the sounds of protest were muffled with another covering my mouth.

The huge presence behind me, and the hold onto the firm chest made my whole body freeze with terror and I struggled for a moment before I was pushed out into the light.

Stumbling through the rocky path, I heard the pummel of my bag on the floor and my eyes strained against the sudden brightness.

"Blimey, if it's not Lady Lanette!" came a familiar, a _welcome_ voice and I felt suddenly apt aware of my surroundings. The eight of the fellowship stood before me, their expressions of varying consistency and the shock in their gazes matching my own. The steps sounded from behind me and an incredulous Lord Boromir came to the view. I took a step to the side so that I was facing all of them at once and being the quite intelligent woman I was, my next response was something along the lines of " _What the Fuck is this?_ "

My mouth opened for an explanation, as all of them seemed to be waiting for one but it was with a sudden 'not here', that I was stopped and Gandalf, looking somewhere along the horizon, at the dark cloud swiftly growing in size pushed us to move.

It was, perhaps, one of the most apprehensive walks I've ever had in my life.

* * *

"... guarded by the Crebain, of Dunland," I continued my explanation, while munching on the generous slice of bread, jam and butter that Sam had provided. The company had paused for a small meal, only for half an hour and Gandalf wanted me to make use of this time.

With the serious figures of Gandalf, Frodo and Aragorn before me, the broad presence of Lord Boromir somewhere to the left and the Prince leaning at the nearest stump, I felt cornered and stumbled for a moment during my explanation. "Filvendor preferred that path but now it is not suitable unless I want only my remains to reach not the message, I need to go through the Gap of Rohan,"

Boromir perked up at the words and his stance turned argumentative, "A lady can pass through the dark terrains and not us trained warriors," he asked, his tone mixed with an incredulous sarcasm and barely contained frustration. Gandalf shook his head at him and the glanced back at me, "That is the most foolish choice you can make, child," Aragorn seemed to agree as he nodded his heard, his swift gaze still keeping an eye on the surroundings. "The Gap of Rohan is barely safe for those that have nothing to do with it, much less for someone carrying that message. I'm afraid Saruman's gaze spreads wide and any inclination that it was me who sent you, he will make it the cause of your doom."

I looked at my hands straining in my lap giving out a huge exhale before agreeing with him.

Lord Boromir shifted to the side and a moment later took his place on a rock at the left. He looked contemplative for a second and when my gaze met with his, something crossed his face that I couldn't place.

He leaned forward, his hands clasped in the front and the brow furrowed in a challenge.

"What message is it that you speak of, Aragorn?" despite the fact that he addressed Aragorn, at the end of the question his eyes bore into mine, reminding me of the same challenge from a month ago.

If I hadn't been flabbergasted at his question, I might've bristled at his words but instead, I cast a confused look towards Gandalf and then back at him,

"You don't-" I stopped suddenly, not knowing what else to say.

There was silence for a while, on all of our parts and the hushed whispers of the rest of the hobbits came from behind. Gimli looked between the two of us, interested in where this conversation was going.

Gandalf took his sweet time, inhaling a large whisp of smoke and sighing after the exhale. The smoke, to my distraction, took the form of a petite figure but it was ruffled too soon for me to make it out.

"Of course, it is only a few that are aware of your endeavours Lady Lanette." Gandalf said, leaning back at the bark, "You might feel that we've betrayed you by not making you aware of the question of fidelity of the Rohirrim but it felt to us in your favour that you move with a light mind."

"I'd rather be prepared than be ignorant of the truth Gandalf," I said, my tone pointed and the sentence ended in a firm resolution. Lord Boromir looked even more confused than before but the look was soon hidden, and instead, the royal arrogance was painted again on his expression.

"A message to Rohirrim, for what?"

"A request, a _plea_ if you may, to aid Gondor in the upcoming war. For it'll be in the interest of both the empires" I offered the explanation and from the corner of my eye saw the affirmation of Aragorn.

Lord Boromir's expression turned sour and whatever was on the rip of his tongue was stopped just barely.

"And _you_ , Lady Lanette, were to carry the message?" he spoke, shifting do that his arm rested on the knee. I raised a brow at his argumentative stance and replied in a cool tone,

"Is there a problem?"

Legolas shifted on the tree and I barely missed the swift look he exchanged with Gandalf. Sensing the rising tension, he leaned on his staff,

"The path is too dangerous for a lone traveller, the Gap of Rohan is sorely out of question."

"I can hardly turn back now Gandalf"

It was Merry who spoke up right then, making all of us register the silence that had ensued over them in the last two minutes.

He padded towards Aragorn, something akin to hope lighting his eyes,

"Come through the mines with us then, come through Moria."

It took me a moment to find my tongue and I couldn't help but wonder when my company had started to mean so much to him. But in the end, it was the fellowship of the ring, the company that was out for a momentous purpose and I couldn't stand in their way.

"I'm pretty sure that is not a good idea Merry."

His face fell at my words, sharp and stern as they were and he looked at Gandalf pleadingly, making me tense up at where this conversation was going.

"Why not, we'll part ways after the mines, you can travel to Rohan and us, to where ever our destiny might take us."

I was just about to negate the fact, that I'll travel through the Gap of Rohan myself and that all the carefully planned and structured company shouldn't take in a wanderer just because our path aligned along the way.

They had the fate of the whole world resting on their shoulders. They had started with the foresight of Lord Elrond and the word from Lady of Light. They started on the road after long hours of planning and carefully selected members. They began, depending so much on destiny and fate and _magic_ that I couldn't help but feel as if anything that might disrupt those conditions, it might affect their journey too.

But it was the voice of the elf, Prince Legolas of Mirkwood that killed the whole argument on my tongue,

"It is hardly right for the Lady to travel alone"

"Whoah! Hold up" I said with a snap of the fingers and stood from the seat,

"No one asked the opinion, _dudes_ , and what about 'there are nine for nine ringwraiths' that Lord Elrond had said"

They looked contemplative at that as if it was a point to consider and I hoped that they would. There would be nothing better than travelling in a company that can potentially protect you from all the trouble but this company was totally off limits.

I turned towards Merry giving him a small smile,

"I will travel alone Merry, I'm sure I'll make it somehow."

"If it's only for the trek through Moria," Aragorn spoke up at that moment and I issued him a glare.

"No! I'm sure Fordo will not feel at ease."

I glanced at Frodo, knowing that he was the one who'll perhaps consider not the feelings but the situation. I felt his face strain with emotion, and then despair as his gaze flickered towards Boromir and then Gandalf and it wouldn't take a genius to notice that something had happened with Boromir.

In the end, he stared at me resolutely, his eyes sparkling with determination.

"It will be nice, Lady Lanette, if you walk with us."

And before I could even open my mouth to protest, Gandalf was on his feed, the last whiff of his pipe taken and was now emptying the ash to the side.

"The ring bearer has decided. Now hurry onto your feet, the doors must be found before the sunset." The whole company scampered at his words and within minutes they were continuing down the path leaving me flabbergasted at the back. Gandalf came to stand by me, leaning at his stick and the old mischief back in his brilliant gaze," Consider this an apology lady Lanette, for not making you aware of the true perils."

I spluttered at that, gawking at how fast the situation had escalated,

"You guys don't need to," I whispered and was awarded by a jovial voice of the elf from the front as he turned around to give me a smile,

"Oh, sure we do!"

I was left wondering from where did this affection and friendliness sparkle from.

* * *

I leaned against the bark of the tree as Gandalf mulled over the password to the door. The night had already fallen and the stars sprinkled on the sky were reflected by the still waters of the lake. Aragorn came to stand by and with a small smile in his direction, I focused again at the proceedings in front of me.

It had been almost half an hour since Gandalf had begun to consider the riddle and by the look of it, the things were not flowing smoothly at all. The company was scattered throughout the clearing, the hobbits hoarding the space near Gandalf. I was staring at the quiet depths of the pool, dark and deep as they were when Aragorn's voice cut off the musings.

"How do you think of conveying the message, if you do not mind me prodding into your matter, Lady Lanette?"

I looked at his face from the corner of my eye. At his expression that was calm yet somehow very alert and at the stance that was ready to spring into action at a moment's notice and couldn't help but chuckle at his words.

Instead, I looked back towards the front, leaning against the tree again before speaking,

"I hardly think that it is my matter alone, _Lord_ Aragorn."

Something flickered in his eyes and his expression turned taught. There was a small flicker of his gaze, towards the hobbits that stood by Lord Boromir and I snorted at his blatant discomfort,

"Why do you even think like that?" I asked, raising a brow at his confusion, "Why do you hate being called the rightful heir when you _are_?"

He looked torn for a bare second and the emotions that are usually hidden beneath cool composure burst out, barely held back by his rein. He sighed at that, and his hand stroked the coarse hair of his jaw,

"I can hardly saunter up to the ancient and noble houses and claim my right Lady Lanette. Seeing a ranger on their ancient throne is the last thing they will want."

"A ranger who is more regal than all the rest you mean," was the prompt reply I uttered. I turned my face towards him, taking in his expression until he was forced to face me himself, "you have the bearings of royalty Aragorn, somehow I think that even in this condition, no one can truly take you down."

He said nothing for a moment. We were both content to stare at the chaos ensuing at the gate, and then he spoke, his voice nothing but a murmur.

"We have to see about that, although I haven't been to Gondor for an age."

The memories flashed through my mind, and I couldn't help but close my eyes to savour the good old days; of hope, of laughter, of purpose and of liveliness.

"I-" I started, and then remembered the days between the festivals. The strained look of the soldiers that were being celebrated. The tears of grief that fell during the victory. All those days when Lord Dervorin returned with failing health and a battered spirit. That day of the festival, when the heroes of the battle were standing on the altar, with Lord Boromir amidst them and the weary smile that overtook his haggard features, "I still remember those days in Minas Tirith, Aragorn. Even though I was rarely focused on those battles but the gloom had already settled on the people, by now... I'm not even willing to think how far their spirits might've fallen."

I leaned to the left so that I had a clear look of Lord Boromir from his field and spoke in a low tone knowing that both of our eyes were fixed on the same man.

"You should be ready, Aragorn, you never know when your fate decides to catch up with you."

He smiled, a small curl of the lips and amusement that danced through his eyes before he cooled his features, the old gaze now mixed with more amity. He spoke a moment later, once more down to business.

"Lady Lanette, about the message-"

A shout of Frodo disrupted his question and both of us turned to face the front.

"Why did you do that Boromir?"

Boromir stood by the bank of the pool and the ripples in the black water turned large and sharp. Frodo threw a glare his way and instinctively both of us took a step towards the gate before loud howls carried along with the hiss of the wind froze us in place. Aragorn threw a sharp look at the periphery, his hands were curling on his sword. Prince Legolas had his arm reaching back towards his arrows, his stance alert and ready to pounce on a second's notice.

The hobbit huddled closer towards Gandalf, tripping on their feet and glancing around fretfully.

"I wish we could get away!" Merry spoke, his tone now quivering with terror. Pippin agreed to the statement and suddenly Gandalf was on his feet, with a breathless laugh and words that we all wanted to hear,

"I've got it! Of course, of course..." he went towards the gates and with a single _Mellon_ , the doors creaked open.

"Let us move towards the gates Lady Lanette," Aragorn said and I nodded in agreement.

It was when all of us were nearing the black abyss, relieved at the turn of events when a scream of Fordo halted all the action.

A huge beast rose from the pool, it's slimy skin wet and green, and it's numerous tentacles splashing furiously. Gandalf's cry ensued and made all rush towards the gate. I exchanged a look with Aragorn and some understanding seemed to pass between us as I looked around for the other two hobbits.

"Come on! Pippin _whatcha_ waiting for?" I yelled at his frozen figure and then snapping in frustration grasped his arm and dragged his gawking self towards the steps.

" _Get the fuck in_ Merry!" I yelled just before Merry came rushed into the mine. Several things happened in succession and thankfully everyone, except for the poor old pony, rushed in within time and the doors slammed behind us plunging us all into the murky darkness.

With the doors barred behind us and only the depth of the mines stretching beyond, the air around the fellowship was taught with tension. The moulded air and the blinding dark made me aware of my heart thundering in my chest and with every step that we took, the sounds echoed through the abandoned pathway.

Gandalf walked with Gimli at the front, a faint radiance coming from the end of his staff but the light was not enough to make us alert of any danger that might be lurking beyond, just enough to watch our immediate steps.

I had started walking just behind them but had unconsciously lagged behind until my steps matched that of Aragorn. He exchanged a look with me and at that moment I realised that somehow I felt extremely awkward with them all. Gandalf was an old man, leading the way and bothering him was not perhaps that good of an idea. Legolas, I haven't talked to ever so I wasn't sure whether I wanted to walk in stifling quiet with him. Lord Boromir was a case for another day, I had respect for the man but never had our chats led to anything but brimming frustration. Gimli, although I had talked with him quite a lot, was walking furiously in the front, with his shoulders taught and tense and face set in nonchalance but the air around him proved that he didn't want to be disturbed. The mines were not at all what he had expected and there was this question of what happened that was bothering him right then. The hobbits I was steering clear from because the only way to survive in the fellowship was to give Frodo his distance and that involved other hoobits of the company so I just lagged behind walking along with Aragorn, who aside from one quizzical look said nothing on the matter.

The top after two hundred gigantic steps was seen in a haze as all the heaving bodies dropped on the ground (of the hobbits and me) and Gandalf, sparing a look at out raddled figures called for a short break. The _miruvor_ of Rivendell, sweet and refreshing, was nothing less than the water of life at that moment and it wasn't long before we were again on our feet, everyone eager to finish this gloomy journey as soon as possible.

Somewhere along the stroll, Gandalf had drawn his sword, held in his right hand and the company walked through the rising heights of the mines at a stiff pace.

The swords, which were supposed to gleam in the presence of orcs as I was made aware, were dark and lifeless providing a sense of relief to all. I wondered if Agnaria also had the ability, but I hadn't seen it gleam ever before and in impulse I nicked the blade from its sheath, just an inch to see the delicate pattern vanishing down its cover. The hiss of the metal, though momentary it was, cut through the stifling quiet and I couldn't help but grimace as nine pair of eyes flickered towards me. Aragorn seemed to understand what I was thinking and he shook his head, murmuring that the swords wielding prophecies and curses did not gleam.

The faint light from the staff lent a vague glow to the setting and in the dim shine one could make out the pathways, the arches, the tunnels sloping up and down and vanishing in the darkness, proving to be a bewildering sight.

It was when Gandalf and Gimli halted, whispering at the very front, seemingly disagreeing over something in hushed tones that I got the chance to take a look at the company. Lord Boromir, although already tense since the very beginning was beginning to get flustered by the increasing dark and loneliness of our surroundings and on this one thing I agreed with him wholeheartedly. I was not made for mines, none of us was and the quiet and impending doom that hung over our heads like a promise did nothing to dissipate the tension. It was Aragorn who reassured everyone, throwing light on the fact that Gandalf was a trusted member of the white council and that in him, we could place our blind trust.

With the continuation of the journey, the dark proved to be our severe enemy as many gaps, some more than a few meters wide spread across and some were hidden from plain sight until one of the members nearly tumbled into the deep dark depth. The company was overcome with a sense of deadly quiet. There was no talk except for emergencies and there was noise except for the steps of the fellowship; careful and light as that of Legolas and the hobbits, heavy footfalls as that of Lord Boromir and Gimli, alert and paced as that of Aragorn, or simple and light as that of mine. I turned my mind into the periodic noise of the footsteps to keep my mind from wandering and to say the least I succeeded.

It was after several hours that we had to take a proper break. Stepping into a dark archway, Gandalf halted and after pondering for not more than a moment announced that he had no memory of the place. To the right, there was a stone door, half open and Gandalf went in inside stopping Merry and Pippin to venture there unarmed. A deep well, with its rusty chains and broken walls, was situated just before us. The fellowship examined the well, taking in the bottomless pit but soon after losing interest were placing their bags beside the walls, claiming their place to sleep.

It was after I had set my bag, in an area the farthest from the hole, somewhere cosy, and a few paces from the Prince when a sudden _pluck_ seemed to originate from the well and it echoed on the walls, rejuvenating through the hollow chamber.

"What's that?" Gandalf yelled, turning towards the well to see a petrified Pippin standing beside it. He growled at the sight, his fury seeping into his voice and making it quiver with rage,

"Fool of a Took! This is a serious journey, not a hobbit walking party!"

There was a faint sound that resounded in the mines, a far off beating of a drum that caused a chill to rise in my spine. Aragorn exchanged a troubled look with the trained men of the fellowship and it was with a certain grace that they all schooled their features to nonchalance as to not alarm the hobbits. I couldn't help but frown at the sight while waiting for the sounds to subside and the usual quiet to take its place.

Then, when it was decided that there will be no more strange noises in the dark, Gandalf turned around and with a swift gaze took in the fellowship standing near their bags. He huffed and rolled himself into his own and snapped at Pippin, before rolling to his sleep.

"You Pippin can go on the first watch as a reward."

I stared for a moment at the prompt turn of events and the Prince shook his head with barely masked amusement. He caught my eye as he was rolling himself in the cloak and his gaze softened a bit,

"It's better to rest a wink Lady," he said, his melodic voice carried as a whisper by the wind, "We never know what the depths of the darkness might bring."

I laid awake for a long while, listening to the levelled breathing of the fellowship in the dark and it was when I was drifting in and out of consciousness that I heard the faint voice of Gandalf.

"Go on the corner and have sleep..."

The words brought a smile to my lips, realising that even with all the frustration, the fellowship still cared dearly about one another and it was with a light feeling that I faded to sleep.

* * *

"From the feeling of the area we must be in the great hall. I will now risk a little light." Gandalf said and suddenly a brighter spark bloomed on his staff. The great hall, whose cavernous ceiling rose to the darkness with its end not visible to naked eye, was where we decided to spend the night. This hall lend even more vastness to the immense loneliness that settled over us and all of us huddled close to each other, in an effort to quench the fear.

The talk started with the majesty of the Moria halls and soon developed into a chatter in which all of the fellowship took part.

"What? A corset of Moria-silver? That was a kingly gift!" Gimli exclaimed, having heard for the first time about the gift awarded by Thorin Oakenshield to Bilbo. Everyone seemed to agree and there was a silence that was left suspended in the air after Gimli stopped his chatter about the majesty of the lonely mountain and all its riches with a certain wistfulness in his gaze.

It was Sam who spoke, ruffling me from the trance that had overtaken me.

"What about you Lady Lanette?" he asked and my gaze snapped towards his curious one.

"What about me?" I repeated, raising a brow at the sudden sparkle that luminated the warm brown of his gaze.

"How did you come by here?"

I considered his question for a moment, keenly aware that all the action had paused and the curious gazes that were now fixed on my figure. I just contented to sigh before I spoke,

"If you're talking about this world, then I never found out. If of Rivendell then, it was on a quest to gain answer for the first one."

There was silence, just for a moment before Pippin spoke up.

"So did you? Knew what you strived to know" he asked and Merry kicked his shin with a sharp look. I couldn't help the amusement from taking over my features knowing that Bilbo, in his endless chatter might've revealed how I was struck in this world forever.

I nodded in affirmation, a mellowed emotion overtaking my mind and I gave him a tight-lipped smile,

"Not all answers lead to satisfaction."

"But how is it? Your world. Is it much different?" Sam spoke again.

I contemplated the answer, wondering what he was truly aiming at: at the locations, or the civilizations or the people or all of those combined.

"It is different, _momentously_ even," I started, "First of there are only humans, and to some extent dwarves, short humans they're considered in our world. No hobbits, or elves, or wizards or orcs..." glancing at their gobsmacked expressions I chanced a smile, "No _magic_ even."

Frodo murmured in awe. A moment later his expression cleared and something flickered in his gaze,

"You never speak of how it is."

I gave a small chuckle at that, coking my head to the side with a sigh, and looking past Lord Boromir to the dark,

"It's not that I don't want to, I just _can't_." I said and then turned towards him, "Consider this Frodo. My world might be similar to what this world will be in _at least_ a thousand years. At the very least."

I ignored the indignant splutter of Gimli, the raised brow of Aragorn, the twitch of the Prince's facial muscles and instead continued pointedly,

"Things change with every year, and with centuries of growth and development... There are things possible that will be considered ludicrous here. Things that are a result of a series of inventions, of facts, of the knowledge of _aeons_. It is not possible for me to explain something that hasn't even been triggered into action yet."

The hobbits stared at me for a long while, Pippin with a decidedly clueless expression which was shaken out off as Sam spoke again. This time the curious tone of his voice was mixed with a childlike plea,

"Tell us something, _one thing_ at least," he exclaimed. I mulled over everything. Mobile phone and television seemed too far fetched, actually anything with electricity was something they'll _never_ understand, so I went after the next best thing to a horse, a motor car, "There are ummm cars for example,"

"Chahr?" came an innocent query from Frodo and I couldn't help the gleeful curve of my lips,

"A _car_. Something that can travel with a speed of more than a hundred miles per hour. You just need oil to function it."

Lord Boromir slapped his hand to his knee in incredulity and Gimli snorted in disbelief.

"That is ludicrous." said the Prince and I shook my head with a small smile.

"I told you."

"But are the people like you?" Sam continued, his voice taking up a livelier edge that I haven't heard for days, "Is it considered normal for a Lady to work."

I rolled my eyes at the question, somehow not the teensy bit surprised that it would somehow arise,

"First of all, there aren't many ladies in my country," I said, ignoring the sound of protest that Lord Boromir made,

"Second, well yes. A person who has a _degree_ , a job, who works, who ears for themselves, yes they're respected."

"But a _woman_." came Lord Boromir's reply and if I hadn't been bristling at their disappointment I would've laughed at the whine in his tone,

"Times change _Lord Boromir_ , and so do the people," I replied, raising a brow for a challenge and then shook my head, placing my hands on the knees,

"Well not so much the people," I murmured thoughtfully, "I've still encountered sick patriarchal assholes more than anyone would fancy but that's what they were considered in my time, just closed minded, needless, fight mongers. Just sad. _Sad_ men."

Their looks at the sarcasm lining my voice and the curses that left my tongue were too comical for my comfort and I barely held in the chuckle that was bubbling in my throat. Instead, I raised a brow in what I wanted to be scepticism,

"Although _here_ , I see its quite the norm."

A muscle twitched in Aragorn's face and I held up my hands,

"Though I'm not pointing _anyone_ out."

"Perhaps with the times." Lord Boromir spoke again and I let my gaze bore into his own, bringing him to a certain amount of discomfort before I agreed to his point.

" _Perhaps_."

* * *

We continued on our way after breakfast and it was after moving across the northern archway and entering into the wide corridor that all of us registered the faint glow that came from a small door. Beyond it was a square chamber, its air murky and stagnant and something lying on the far side of the floor that we couldn't yet make out.

"It looks like a tomb," Frodo murmured and I couldn't help the look of alarm that I gave Gimli.

It was as if in slow motion, the horror that overtook his features, the cry that left his throat and the eyes that widened in despair. He rushed towards the stone, his piercing cries echoing through the chamber.

" **Oh... No...oh, no!** "

I exchanged a look with Gandalf and after taking in his hand that held his sword my own fingers found their way to the scabbard. Gandalf put a hand on Gimli's shaking shoulders and spoke in a tone that was thick with grief,

"Here lies Balin, Son of Fudin, Lord of Moria. He is dead then. It's as I had feared."

The company stood still and silent and in those few minutes, Gandalf recited the words of doom from the Book of Mazarbul. With every word he spoke, my spirits sunk even further because it didn't take a genius to know what became of them.

He shut the book, at long last, with a crisp snap and handed it over to Gimli for safe keeping.

Lord Boromir and Aragorn stood side by side, their swords drawn and knuckles strained against their grip.

"Which way shall we go?" asked Boromir.

Gandalf was explaining our course of action when a resounding BOOM erupted from beneath, shaking the mines through their very core. The cries got nearer, the drums louder and it was after a particular shrill scream that Legolas yelled the warning, his arrow already docked on the bow,

 _"They are coming!"_

The doors shook with the strain and the company huddled in a circle. The blades were drawn, the shields arranged. The huge gate bore another piercing blow. The wood splintered and the doors fell amidst debris and deafening bellow. Abruptly, somewhere between the piercing roars and bated breaths, the hall was plunged into infernal chaos.

* * *

 ** _To be continued..._**


End file.
